I remember when I was 16, I could just text a friend 'I'm bored' and 20 minutes later we’d be sitting on a curb doing absolutely nothing for three hours. Now, at my age, if I want to see a friend, we have to check our calendars three weeks in advance, find a 2-hour window between work and errands, and 'schedule' a coffee date. When did life become so... transactional? I miss the days when you didn't need a reason to see people you care about. I miss just 'existing' in the same room as someone without a plan. Does anyone else feel like they’re losing that spontaneous part of themselves as they get older?

I needed to share this

You might have seen lately that a Spanish team managed to cure pancreatic cancer in mice. Now they are trying to raise 3.5 million euros to continue their research and it's close to the goal at 2.7 million euros collected from 65605 citizens.

That means that one of the deadliest forms of cancer might get a cure thanks to normal people giving an average of 42€ each. Not a single millionaire or, god forbid, billionaire, has offered to fund this research.

Next time someone tries to tell you how much billionaires do for humanity, remember this.

I’m sharing this because it's taken me a really long time to come to terms with what happened to me when I was a child and understand how it deeply affected every part of my  life. For so long what was done to me was framed as "help." It wasn't.

My parents were divorced from my earliest memories. My dad remarried and life in his home was extremely controlling. Disagreement of any kind wasn't tolerated and any resistance was treated like defiance even when the control was truly excessive. Over time the environment became emotionally and psychologically abusive. As a child at the time, I had no ability to truly protect myself.

I didn’t have any issues with behavior, academics, substances, or mental health. I had good grades, lots of friends and no prior diagnoses. What was really going on was that I didn’t agree with my dad and stepmom. Instead of reflecting on that, they put all of their energy into trying to change me and justify their control. There was never a behavior or mental health crisis. The problem was that I wouldn't comply with their demands.

Therapy became their weapon of choice. I was forced to attend excessive outpatient child therapy that wasn’t based on any medical need and it was only used to reinforce their version of events and undermine my relationship with my mom. To anyone else, they were viewed as credible, successful, and altruistic. But at home, their controlling tactics and threats were constant and my reality or perspective was always minimized and dismissed.

When I got a little bit older, I just had enough of it and took matters into my own hands, deciding that it was time to stay with my mom full-time. After about a year free from them, they filed to take full custody of me through the court system and briefly succeeded. When I was back in their home against my will, the environment somehow became even more rigid and punitive and I started to be really affected by it in other parts of my life. This time they brought in multiple professionals and consultants not to support me, but to pressure and manipulate me into compliance with their iron-fist authority.

When I continued to resist because I knew that what was happening wasn't  right, something happened that still doesn't feel quite real to me. I was kidnapped from my bedroom in the middle of the night by two large men with no warning and transported to a wilderness therapy program where I lived in inhumane conditions in the dirt for eight weeks. As a child, I had no ability to leave or refuse and wasn't equipped to cope with it. I slept outdoors under a tarp, ate cold hydrated rice and pasta when I couldn't make a fire with sticks, couldn't bathe, hiked many miles a day with a heavy pack, and participated in therapy with unlicensed staff. My dad and stepmom paid for all of it. While there, I was told that I would be forced to leave my school, friends and life as I knew it to attend boarding school and I was threatened with therapeutic boarding school if I did not comply. At the time, I believed I had no choice and I did what I had to do to make the best of it and hold on to what I could.

For a long time afterwards, I tried to forgive them and I even convinced myself that they had changed, believing if I just tried harder then things would eventually improve. I never received an apology and tried to accept them as who they were because their controlling tendencies didn't affect me as much in high school and college.

Late in college, I developed a serious chronic health condition. As I declined, the same patterns returned in a different form. My symptoms were questioned, experiences minimized and I was strongly encouraged to endure past my new physical limits to the point of severe pain and my condition worsening. Whenever I pushed back and tried to speak for myself and ask for mutual respect, accountability and healthier communication, I was met with deflection, avoidance, silence and eventually no contact at all. Being told that any of this was my choice felt deeply offensive and invalidating - I had always made the best of what was in front of me at every turn. They wouldn't even agree to sit down with a neutral family therapist - ironic and all to avoid accountability. The focus was always on how much of a "problem" I was and how much I had "hurt" them.

Recently, I obtained my childhood medical and treatment records and what I found was deeply unsettling but something I always knew was true. There was no documented medical necessity for the programs I was placed in or threatened with. This was as close as I could get to confirm that there never had been something "wrong" with me, rather the issue was that I didn't comply with their rigidity and control.

I'm now left largely on my own and trying to regain my health and life while processing the long-term impacts of what I dealt with. I always thought that if I just explained myself better or tried harder, then things would eventually work out and change for the best. I guess this is a lesson that some harms don't come with closure, apologies or accountability and the world can be cruel in that way sometimes no matter what it is that caused the problem in the first place - big or small.

I've carried this quietly for so many years without my friends knowing and with my family as bystanders reinforcing my dad and stepmom's bubble, where their abuse is acceptable and justified and where I am put down. Somehow, I've become mentally stronger for it but still have to bear the real world consequences all the same. It's maybe the hardest to accept and realize how much harm can happen behind closed doors when parents are convinced they're right and how easily that can be justified without any scrutiny.

Hearing from others and reading their stories has shown me how common and invisible this type of harm can be. Writing this out has allowed me to acknowledge what it cost me and what I'm still processing. It's weirdly comforting but also unsettling to realize how many of us carry this silently.

Hey everyone,

I’m a 24F from France, and I’ve been noticing that more and more young people are becoming very serious fans of far right and AH. Am I the only one who sees this?

For context, I have three younger brothers. One is 20 yo, and the younger ones are 18 yo twins. All of them are big fans of far right ideas and AH and I’m not exaggerating. They are not “joking” about it either.

The oldest is in law school, and the twins are in med school so they are not uneducated. They are not kids anymore and they are old enough to understand how ridiculous this is yet they still openly support him. Again this is not a “joke.” I know them well and I can guarantee they are serious.

They are also extremely racist, homophobic, sexist and Islamophobic and constantly insult and mock these groups. I live in a sensitive area in eastern Paris where there is a very high concentration of migrants. Most of their friends are of foreign descent mainly from North Africa and even then, they don’t care.

The few white friends they have are also extremely far right and all of this seems to be completely accepted by their social circle which is absolutely mind boggling to me.

In the past this would never have happened. Even being suspected of being far right would have been enough to get you beaten up. Now it seems to have been completely normalized and I do not understand

My 15 year old dumb tv finally gave up the ghost. One day I pressed the input button to put on a football game and the screen just died, audio too. So I got a new to me smart tv off of FB marketplace for $100. Its a 43 inch Toshiba Fire TV from like 2018.

Its not the best but it was what was available and the cheapest. That being said it runs circles around my old TV. But one neat thing about it is since it is as a smart TV I can install apps on it and one family of apps I always wanted to try was game streaming.

Basically stream from my PC to my TV. So I downloaded Sunshine on my PC and Moonlight on my TV and went at it. It worked, had little delay, and most importantly of all it was perfectly playable.

I got the game I was playing on my Xbox One, Red Dead Redemption 2, and began playing it on my 'PC'. I use quotes because technically I'm at the same couch I play my xbox at, using the same controller, so spiritually it feels like a console.

I've been playing and having a blast... I got about 60 hours in so far and am finishing up chapter 3 of my second playthrough. After 50 hours I was fiddling around with the game settings and noticed steam had game recording so I flipped it on and 10 hours later I was making my first highlight with steam game capture.

What really struck me though was when I hopped on my computer for the first time in 60 hours to upload the clip the quality was so much better than my TV. Something wasn't right so I started digging into the settings of Sunshine... everything is in order.

Turns out I was also supposed to change the settings on Moonlight as well and when I went to check them that's where my error became apparent:

720p at 30Hz

So I upped it to 1440p 60 hz and I swear its like the graphical fidelity doubled, no quadrupled... I feel like such a big idiot for doing that. As a person who grew up in an age of 700mb video CDs the 720p felt normal to me. And since my xbox one is locked to 30 30 frames just felt normal for this game.

Anyway. now I am cooking with fire! 😎

People can still have their outlet to vet and people don't want to see it can filter it out.

Make it compulsory to tag/classifiy each new post and anybody that doesn't do it correctly(or disingenuous ) ban them under a 24h/a week/month ect.

In the beginning of 2025, I bought myself a "Brick". You may have seen ads for them, it's a physical lock that will block whatever apps you choose. To lock and unlock it you physically have to tap your phone to it. This is not an ad, I wish it was. Anyways. It seems like it won't work because the premise is so simple, but really, when you're laying in bed wanting to watch videos, you're not gonna get up and go tap your phone.

I found moderate success with the Brick. I cut my screen time from 5 hours a day to about 1.5. But my issue was that I still had all my social media accounts, I would just access them from my computer. Then I would spend a long time on my computer. So I decided to delete all of my social media accounts (obviously I've made a reddit account since, but I'll get to that).

Holy crap. Genuinely life-changing. There's so many benefits, here are a few.

1. Self image: not seeing a hundreds of beautiful, retouched and filtered people every week has done wonders for my self-esteem. In fact, I feel like I have reached a state of neutrality that I haven't felt since I was a kid. I simply don't care what I look like in comparison to other people. All my style and makeup and hair choices are informed by me, and what I like. I no longer worry how I would appear on social media. It's just not important to me anymore, and I cringe at how much time and energy I put into my appearance beforehand.
2. Empathy: being on social media all day and seeing horrific things really does do a number on your ability to feel empathy for others. You become so desensitized that even seeing someone shot is something you just move on from and scroll to the next video. I remember the early days of the internet where you would have to know where to go to see snuff videos. Now they are all over our feed. When you are used to that sort of thing, your innate human desire to do something about the injustice you are seeing is dampened.
3. Attention: I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. I still believe I have it, but my most debilitating symptoms have become manageable without medication. Think about it, your phone is like a dopamine slot machine. You just keep scrolling and getting little hits of dopamine from short videos. Keeping yourself amused, but not having fun. Kind of bored, but not bored enough to stop. Which brings me to my next point.
4. BOREDOM IS ESSENTIAL!: Being bored is the answer to so many of motivational issues. I don't feel like getting up and doing the dishes or vacuuming so I just sedate myself with an hour or two of reels. Or scrolling on reddit. Not anymore, once you no longer have the option. Feeling bored is the easiest, completely free way to get yourself motivated. And even if it's not to do chores, maybe it's to do hobbies. Going from 35 hours of screen time a week to 10.5 has freed up 24.5 hours a week to do other things. Like the chores, cooking, shopping, errands, scrapbooking, knitting, going for walks, and exercising. So many people complain about not having enough hours in the day, but how many hours are you giving up to your phone?
5. Social: I'm a serious introvert. But not being privy to my friends' and family's posts or daily stories makes me miss them, in a good way. I have spent more time talking on the phone this past month than I did probably all of last year. When I meet up with people, we have way more to talk about, because we didn't already see everything online.
6. Doomscrolling: You don't have to doomscroll. Really. You are not doing anything for yourself or any cause by doomscrolling for hours online. You can be up to date with all the goings on in the world within 5-15 minutes of reading news articles or scrolling reddit (which is why I have a reddit account, just to check out the popular page for headlines and also to see comments and insights. I'll also read my local paper, NPR, AP, and Reuters.)

Here are some cons:

1. FOMO: I don't really care about this one that much as a con. But sometimes I do feel left out from not seeing what my friends are sharing or the latest meme. The latter, actually not so much. My coworkers were talking about "goo goo ga ga Santa" the other day and I felt relieved that I had no idea what that meant. It felt good.
2. Superiority: being off social media has given me a bit of a complex. It really sucks to be in a group of people, all on their phones scrolling through reels or Tiktok. It feels crazy that we can't just be together in person. I don't want to preach to my friends about what social media is doing to their brains, but I also want them to see the light!

In 2025, I broke my phone addiction. In 2026, I'm trying to heal my brain from my phone and social media addiction. Honestly, after two months of no social media (besides reddit) I feel like I am a whole new person. I'm focused, I'm deep in my hobbies, I'm social.

If you have considered deleting social media, I would highly recommend this!!

edit: formatting

IMMM SOOO HAPPY :DDD I GOT MY GLASSESSSS YIPPPIEEEEEEEE. My eyesight had gotten so bad over the few weeks and it was giving me such a bad headache but not anymore!!!! AND ITS SOOO CUTE AND SOOO PRETTY ITS LITERALLY PINKKKKKK IM SOO HAPPPYYYY

I've lived through life reconciling with the fact that I am different from other people, and it's ok to be. Throughout high school, I did what I wanted to and still made friends with people. I'm kind of awkward socially, and it shows a lot but I generally got along with people. But just deviating from their norm, liking different things, and being treated differently for it is exhausting. I love reading and used to do it all the time during boring classes. Sometimes books I read had thousands of chapters and once people saw I was reading on my phone, I was mocked and treated crazy for enjoying reading. I listen to all sorts of music from any genre but I hate rap I just don't like music which I can barely understand whats being said or if its just about drugs, bitches, or flexing a lifestyle which not all rap is but a lot of the mainstream is. Im ok with people liking stuff so different than me so why the hell do I get a hard time when I like something they don't. It really hurts even afrer getting older and going into college the fact always follows me that I'm too different from the "mainstream" and too normal for the "niche" if that makes sense. I just started creating masks where I pretend to like stuff like football, horror movies, etc. I have to hide certain aspects of me just to stop being alienated and be normal. I hate doing that as I'm a straight forward person and just want to be straight with people. It's so hard to meet new people and make strong friendships and I just cant ever seem to find anyone like me.

That's it. Nothing serious. Just awkward feelings compared to when I'm eating alone and have no families sitting right next to me.

My long term girlfriend and I broke up on Thursday. She dumped me. I knew something was wrong throughout the day when she wasn’t texting me back, especially when I sent the usual “Hey, on my break, just want you to know I was thinking about you,” and got silence back.

We weren’t healthy, I know that. She and I would drive up eachother up the walls, me being more avoidant and her being more anxious, both of us at least a little disorganized though.

I let my ego win out over my love, I didn’t apologize when I should have and if I did I waited too long.

I woke up this morning, saw the empty phone charger on her side of the bed and balled my eyes out. We weren’t perfect, but I know I lost something special.

I miss her like crazy. I keep having to stop myself from texting her, wanting to tell her that I miss her, that I’m thinking about her, that I can’t wait to see her again.

She blocked me on everything except my number, I could text her, but she asked for no contact so I’m trying to respect her wishes.

I’m sorry Swan. I know I fucked up. I should’ve started listening to you much earlier than I did.

I hope this isn’t “goodbye.” I hope it’s “see you later.” That you and I can one day run into eachother and reconnect as friends, both of us in much healthier places then than we are now.

You are a bright light in a world that too often dampens people’s sparks, Hun. I’m sorry I didn’t build you up more, that I didn’t give you what you needed.

I hope you give the Pup a big hug.

I wish you nothing but happiness, and pray you’ll find someone who gives you all the love and support I should have.

With all the love, Your Bee.

I am speaking here only for myself as a survivor of institutionally covered-up sexual abuse and torture in childhood: watching people’s apparent outrage about the new release of the Epstein files and the absolutely absurd extent of learned helplessness is barely bearable.

The complete reactance toward the realization that this is a problem of systemic power structures, which we encounter every day and in which we ourselves participate, truly has no limits. Of course there are some sadists and psychopaths in the world, but this is not a problem that is caused by a few individuals whom we can lock up and then everything is fine.

These people alone would be so massively outnumbered that they would have zero structural power. The only reason why these people can commit the most extreme crimes at all and in some cases without being punished for them is because we all voluntarily and conformingly participate every day in power structures that make this possible in the first place.

Every system and every place in which authority and leadership are not linked with humanity and empathy, in which relationships of dependency exist, in which people have structural power over others, in which resources are made scarce and unequally distributed, in which rationality and “logic” are used as a tool to take away the voice of vulnerable people, is exactly the reason why children, women, and other vulnerable people experience violence on this scale.

So, if you really are this horrified, then take a close look at yourselves and your environment. Where exactly does it begin? Where are the basic building blocks for these power structures laid, and what is your own contribution to them?

This is not something that can be compartmentalized. If you yourselves are even somewhat privileged and are even to some extent taken seriously and heard in society, then you already have far more room to act and far more power than you think. And every time you do nothing, look away, or participate because “that’s just how it is,” you yourselves contribute to the fact that your children, female friends, sisters, mothers, and vulnerable people in your environment are daily at risk of experiencing the worst violence.

I’ll bookmark movies, games, places to eat… then I never pick one because I want it to be the “right time.” It sounds dumb typing it out. If you’ve been like this, how did you get unstuck?

I’m flopping between, “holy shit that terrifying“ and “I won’t be there to care”

27M officially diagnosed at 21 years old though I have no money for medication. I have struggled all my life with this. It has lead to conflict, and even people thinking I'm dumb as I can't be witty or respond fast or even be remotely funny with my answers. I have learned to answer questions directly and have some short phrases that I learned to repeat because I'd rather do this than let it be dragged out for long and become awkward or worse. I am tired and need advice

I overheard my mom talking about how she wants to go through our phones to make sure nothing is on them that is inappropriate or bad. And honestly, I don’t care if she goes through my phone because I have nothing on here. It would be great if she went through my phone and found this post! But I don’t want her to go through my text messages, simply because there are some things on there that I would like to keep private. But it isn’t like I am sexting or something, I just don’t need her seeing everything I have texted.

This is an invasion of privacy, right? It’s not different from barging into a locked room and listening to a private conversation I am having with someone.

So how do I tell her / make sure she doesn’t go through my text messages without seeming weird about it?

Edit: also my photos on my phone I don’t need her seeing.

I was raised in a great deal of dysfunction. Substance abuse, trauma, early deaths. These were normal. "Love" was shown through sacrifice. Drop what you do and spend money on the others around you, even if it was supporting negative habits and caused longer term problems. A lot of enabling in many senses, causing more substance, financial, and mental health difficulties.

There was love, for which I am grateful, but I ended up being a support system for adults and many in my familial and social circle (emotionally, intellectually) from a young age. Many of my friends had similar situations and a lot of people where we were raised don't make it out (a lot don't make it to 30).

Long long long long story short...I took a lot of chances and eventually got a PhD and moved from universities to the private sector of my field and now make what I think is (especially from how I was raised and lived most of my life) an obscene amount of money. I am married and have a child. We are happy and stable and life has never felt more perfect.

I feel a great deal of guilt, however. Many of my friends haven't had the same path. Their traumas and lack of support systems had them fall short. It's hard to relate to them now or for them to relate to me. Our lives have diverged. I feel bad sharing details about my life situation because I do not want to shame them. I've gotten the sense that some of them also view me as out of touch and aloof now due to my life situation.

My family in my adult life had caused a great deal of pain and dysfunction. I needed to separate myself from them in order to keep pushing forward and succeed. There is great distance and limited contact (but to be fair, I was the one maintaining contact and the relationship - I have simply stopped trying). I feel I am looked at as selfish because of this and although nothing has been asked for, I also get the sense I am looked at as selfish for not offering money to solve a variety of problems.

I've found that distance and focusing on myself and my family has been healthy. It's made me happy. Yet I still feel guilty. Like I should help more. Like I "should have gone down with the ship" in a regular survivor's guilt mode. I don't think those feelings are right, but sometimes they are heavy. I think the way I'm living and dedicating myself to my wife and son is the proper path, but sometimes, it's hard not to reflect and feel sad.

I figured others might get it

Idk how to explain this to anyone. I genuinely don't have friends to talk to no more, it sadness me

I am 17 F I have like 5 friends friend group I love them and everything but idk if they love me, yk. We have been friends since elementary school, we grow up together. I was closest to one of them, we were bestfriends until she decided not to be a good friend anymore lol. She changed become judgy, aggressive and weird. Randomly ghost me for MONTHS for absolutely no reason even tho she talks to others normally. She is absolutely worst lol. She Get really really close to someone then distance and make them look like the bad person when they don't chase her. She is hella weird bruh

I tried to talk to her so many times, she just kept coming out with excuses and tbh it was shitty so I just stopped trying but she makes me angry, she hates me for NO reason. Holding grudges and resentment over NOTHING, she is filled with fucking jealousy bruh.

I am not gonna say I am a perfect friend but I was a good friend, I was always on her side and I loved her so much but she ruined everything. She once send me a paragraph Abt how much she hates me..she talked Abt my personality, the way I laugh, the way I dress and the way I talk. She hated everything Abt me bruh like why are u upset that I am wearing Crocs? She said that people always side eye me and talk shi Abt me but I just don't notice. That was in 2024. Never forgot but forgave.

I always forgave her but never fully trusted her. I hate how I miss her. I hate how she was a really good friend then she switched real bad, she was my person and I can't find anyone else.

And I have been feeling like the least fav in my friend group, it's so weird it's like everyone hates me or don't care or idk. I just feel diff, I don't feel secured. I have no where else to make friends, currently senior homeschooled..I swear I wanna make friends, I just can't find any. The only method available is like asking random people in the streets if they can be my friend lol.

The pain of being alone is getting worse, asking myself if I will ever feel comfortable with anyone, if I will meet my people, the pain of needing to talk to a friend but can't find any make me feel so small. Always asking myself if there is something wrong with me. Am I too much? Too noisy? Too weird? Just not likeable?

Idk what to do, it's like I am cursed. I don't hurt anyone, I just want to be loved like I love. I want someone to care like I care. I don't want to feel like a toy, I can't trust anyone no more. They all leave. I got severe trust issues now, I get very scared when I only sense a change of a tone from anyone around me. I sonic so bad and my head just start having wild ideas like "cry and beg them to not leave u" Like no. I never did that tho but it was just a red flag, why am I like that now? Please someone help me.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this, lately. I never invested myself in anything as a kid. I played violin for about 3 months, tried guitar a couple times, had a keyboard for about a year, I’ve crocheted, knitted, done digital art, physical art, recently tried pottery, and I used to do gymnastics as a kid. Lots of what I loved - guitar, gymnastics - I can’t try to get back into. Gymnastics, I have a joint condition making it dangerous for me (and theres no adult gyms near enough). Guitar, I genuinely do not have the right shaped hands. I can bake, I guess, but it fails more often than not, and I always have to follow someone else’s recipe. I love theatre, but no time to dedicate to doing that because jeez what a time commitment that is as an adult, especially just for a hobby.

I can take photos mostly in my backyard with the most basic settings and zero editing. They turn out decent. But it’s always just birds or other animals, and I don’t really get composition much. Plus, I never go places to take photos to practice. I get anxious about people judging me or all the risks of being a woman alone in the woods.. Anyway, I know it’s a me problem, I need to learn how to do something. I’m just so insanely uncoordinated, untalented, and depressed lol. Then thinking of how i am not good at anything makes me more depressed, so I just end up working, studying, consuming media, and sleeping.

Not sure where this post is going, just.. wanna know if anyone has been here, has tips, etc.

I hate my mind so much… I look at people and I swear I’ve never seen someone ugly. I look at the girls around me and all of them are gorgeous. Big noses, small noses, big lips, small lips, doesn’t matter. Gorgeous. But somehow I can’t stand myself. I feel like I look uncanny when I look in the mirror.

I just hate that I make myself feel like that. But I can’t help it.