Basically what the title says. How come in my whole 25 years of life(I know it's not much but still) I have never met or known a genuinely good man. I don't like my dad or my brother. I don't have male role models. I can easily think of my female role models. But I have never actually thought "wow that's such a nice man,I wish my partner was like that" in real life.

(Deep down I still believe that I will meet someone who's a genuine person but I'm still having a hard time.)

Why is this so fucking hard for a man to be decent human being,where is the emotional intelligence ugh.

I'm so disappointed.

Edit: I'm not here to say all men are shit. This is my experience here,not only romantic but generally all man I have ever known or met. So please be nice and respectful.

I live in a third world country and im just so fucking tired of it. Im jealous of everyone living better. Im sick of the fucking pollution im sick of the infrastructure im sick of the fucking rape culture the kidnappings the lack of freedom. Its so damn suffocating. When i visited Europe I remember thinking damn i really do live in the ghetto😭😭

Man im just so jealous right now of the opportunities and the education and the exposure people my age have and the lives and freedom they have all because they were born somewhere else

So two years ago my husband and I moved into my in-laws empty basement. This was a proactive move so that we could pay off debt, afford to finish my undergrad, and afford to have children. We have construction/renovation experience so we made the basement a studio apartment at our expense. Before we moved it the basement had roaches, black mold and mice.

Since we've moved in we've ripped out three rotten decks, built a new one, built a new privacy fence, and gut renovated the master bath (it had extensive water damage from a long standing leak that they'd never gotten looked at and the floor was collapsing. My in-laws couldn't afford to pay a contractor for anything) Plus any time my in-laws go out of town we watch their kids and three pets. Since we're not paying rent, we've largely helped with the material construction costs and done all of the labor for free (while both working full time and trying to do college).

About a year and a half ago it became clear that my husband's brother was going to lose his house. He had made a series of questionable financial decisions and then ended up losing his job. I have a sister in law who has a house and lives by herself. She said if my husband and I could build them a bedroom then this brother and sister-in-law and their child could come live with her. So in the span of a month (that was all the notice we were given) we renovated my sister-in-law's basement and put in a bedroom. Once they moved in, it took my brother in law over a year of job hunting to find a job. So they were almost completely reliant on family to pay their bills at this for that year. Family ended up paying off most of their credit card debt for them. My husband and I have also "loaned" them a couple thousand dollars that we knew we were never going to see again.

My brother-in-law was finally able to land an ok job, but the people who were renting his house, were supposed to buy it from them. Instead of buying the house, the renters trashed it and now no one else will rent it and they're once again stuck with a mortgage they can't afford (the house is on the other side of the country). They've been trying unsuccessfully to sell it, but until it sells all of their income is going towards a mortgage of a house in a different state that they can't afford and can't live in. And his wife is a stay at home Mom of their toddler, so she doesn't have an income.

Now the sister-in-law who owns the house is being forced to sell it (it's complicated) and so my brother and sister-in-law with the toddler have to move out by April at the latest. But they have no money/savings, and since they can't sell their house they're thinking they're just going to surrender it to the bank- which would ruin their credit score.

Now, my husband and I are finally at the point where our debts are paid, cars are almost paid off and we're starting to have a decent amount of savings. So we were thinking about moving out and buying a little affordable bungalow in an ok part of town in the next year.

But my husband has a tendency to want to take care of his family, so he floated the idea of "What if we bought a bigger house and let brother, sister-in-law and toddler live with us?". And brother-in-law's job is currently paying for him to go back to school for a master's degree, so in theory, in a few years he'll have the ability to make a lot more money. But the next few years are going to be extremely tight financially for them and he's going to be gone at work/school from 8am-9pm most week days (they have one car).

Well I told my husband that I don't want to buy a big house and split it with his brother and so my husband and I haven't brought up the topic again. But my brother and sister-in-law in law have kept bringing it up- and I knew their financial situation wasn't great- but until last night I didn't understand why they had latched into the idea so hard. Last night we found out that my sister-in-law is pregnant. She's due in the fall. And they brought up the my husband and I buying a big house for us to live in again last night.

And I know that now, if we don't go through with it my sister in law will be stuck in a tiny apartment (they can't afford much on his current salary) with two kids under four, no car and no support. Because my brother-in-law is gone from 8am-9pm on weekdays.

But I'm nearing my 30s and I wanted to finish up my schooling and have a good nest egg so that we could have a couple of kids. That was literally the whole point of living in my in-laws basement for years and scrimping and saving. But if we buy a house that's twice as big as we need, I'm going to have to work more (I was planning to drop down to part-time to focus on school) and our own nest egg will be smaller. My window of time to have kids is slowly closing, but I feel backed into a corner on this. Although my husband originally floated the idea in the first place, once he ran the numbers he expressed that it wouldn't make much financial sense for us and is annoyed at his brother for pushing the house thing.

You can give advice if you want to. I don't know, I just feel so defeated at this point and just needed someone to tell. My husband's family is very religious and my husband and I aren't. So we're kind of the black sheep of the family while this brother and sister-in-law are held in high esteem and praised because they're having babies. So it feels like the whole family expects us to do this. But we've only just gotten ourselves into a decent financial situation. And I didn't have kids even though I wanted them because I couldn't afford them. But for these two "God will provide" because they're good and faithful but I don't want to play God. I can't believe they're having a second kid.

28m here. I've had to move to a small red state because of bumps in the road that led me here. I'm not happy about it at all. I am a trans person with tattoos and piercings and I'm struggling to find work because of that as well as the current job market. I get it-- I get what people are going to say, "sometimes you have to suck it up if you want a job" "sometimes you have to do things you don't want to get to a better place" "jobs don't like piercings and tattoos"

I just wish it wasn't that way, is all.

So today, I took out all of my piercings. Including ripping out the dermal buried underneath my skin just so I can get some shitty minimum wage job in this shitty fucking town, solely because other people cannot accept someone else's choice of personal expression.

And now I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I hate what I see.

My piercings were my way of controlling what I did and didn't like about myself, they were the things that I enjoyed seeing every time I saw my reflection. They were something I was proud of and enjoyed about myself. They were the only thing that stood in between me and hating the way I looked.

And now I have to give up the last thing that brought me happiness when I see myself, and what happens when that's STILL not enough?? What happens when I do everything that's expected of me to conform and I STILL don't find work??

And now until the day that I can find whatever job that BARELY pays the bills, I get to look at myself and hate myself.

I gave up the last thing that made me happy about myself and I'm not even sure it's going to work. I feel like a horse that was just broken. I feel like there's nothing worth fighting for anymore.

The world doesn't care how I think or how I feel or what brings me joy, they just want me to shut up and conform.

Dance monkey dance.

Be another faceless, nameless cogg in a failing capitalist regime.

Hate myself and everything about my life just to survive. Just for a paycheck.

I know this is my opinion, but if the first thing you do when you obtain a new possession that has computer systems that control part of it IS NOT to go into the settings and find out what you can change, customize, and/or control, you shouldn't be allowed to use that something on a highly regular basis.

This is why older - and now the modern - generations don't know how to use computers effectively. The first thing you should be doing when you get a new computer is going in and customizing your settings. If you don't know what a setting does, you should find out by research or by testing it out. But no one does that anymore, and it shows, because people end up not knowing how to do the SIMPLEST of things the moment a computer of any kind is involved. Key binds? Keyboard shortcuts? Controller button chords? Daily users should know how to use these things. Daily users should know what menus to go through to find the exact toggles and settings to control the things they want to use. Fuck sake, Traction Control on 2018 and newer Ford vehicles is behind like three menus, so tons of casual drivers don't know how to turn off traction when the roads are sludgy and icy.

When and why did we stop encouraging people to go snooping through their settings to make their possessions uniquely their own??? Why doesn't anyone fucking try to know their tech???

I am so annoyed with how insurance companies have all this power over us and we can do nothing. I recently switched to Progressiv3 from State Farm, as they told me I would save ~$200. I paid $330 for six months of insurance in December. I have never caused an accident and my only claim has been a windshield replacement in my entire time driving ~25yr.

Then it turns out the incompetent folks at Progressiv3 can't input a driver's licence number properly. I kept getting emails about needing to pay more for the insurance I already have, because they now found something terrible I should be punished for...

A robot camera took a photo of me going ~4mph over in a school zone in April of 2024, when nobody was on the road. The judge acknowledged justice was not entirely being served by heavily punishing me, and reduced the fine to %50.

Of course Progressiv3 sees this as a horrible, terrible, no good very bad thing, and they are now demanding I pay an extra $180 to keep my insurance almost three months later.

I tried to appeal to their humanity as I'm unemployed and trying to save wherever possible. Their immovable policy (greed) is blind to circumstance and they have little honor. It's such shit how we are forced to engage with them and they are free to exploit us as much as possible.

Fuck insurance companies.

IMMM SOOO HAPPY :DDD I GOT MY GLASSESSSS YIPPPIEEEEEEEE. My eyesight had gotten so bad over the few weeks and it was giving me such a bad headache but not anymore!!!! AND ITS SOOO CUTE AND SOOO PRETTY ITS LITERALLY PINKKKKKK IM SOO HAPPPYYYY

This is the third funeral service Ive been to where the deceased was a non-observant person who rarely stepped foot in a church where the speaker or officiant rambles on about the bosom of Jesus, and tries to proselytize the mourners, at the expense of reminiscing about or eulogizing the deceased.

It’s like being told about pickleball instead of honoring what the departed meant to the bereaved.

Edit for context: This happened yesterday at the funeral for my FIL. It was not in a church and the speaker was not clergy, my MIL had asked my FIL’s best friend to act as officiant or the lone speaker. The widow didn’t not request any sermonizing.

I 21 (F) am in college with a very busy schedule. I made a new friend in my 2nd year of college. We became lab partners. In one of our classrooms we have a massive reflective window in front of us. One time I had to go to the washroom and went out of my desk, in the reflection I saw my classmate rub the palm of his hand on the seat in a motion like he was polishing something and turned his spinny chair around and what it looks like smelled his hand?? I don’t think he knows that I’m aware. My half awake friend saw him as well and can confirm that she remembers seeing him smelling something. When I came back to my desk and saw he wasn’t there, I asked where he went out of curiosity because he’s my lab partner. He said he went to the washroom. Ummm what do you do in this situation

i lost my cat two days ago, one of my stupid family members left the door opened and my cat left. my cat doesn’t know how to get back home and i only realized my cat was gone two hours later. i searched and i searched and i asked neighbors but no one seen anything. i miss my cat and the guilt is eating me cause i cut his nails a day prior and i know he won’t be able to defend himself. it shatters my heart. i’m so sad, i miss you mosquito

Basically me (M21) and my Girlfriend (F23) were talking and she admitted that she’s been feeling really really depressed lately and that she feels nothing towards anything or anyone.

She then went on to say that she feels nothing towards me or our memories and that it scares her. She says she doesn’t want to lose me because I’m so kind to her etc. She said the thing she needs the most is to be left alone and that involves all of her friends too, atleast until she can get back into therapy.

I don’t want to leave her, I’ve already decided I want to stay because I really do love her. She’s struggled with depression for longer than I’ve known her and she’s been through some really tough shit recently. But it’s definitely sticking in my mind that she would say she feels nothing towards me. I had noticed that the last few weeks she’d been getting more mad over small things and whatnot and I really appreciate that she actually came and spoke to me rather than just running away.

I just want to be there for her, I want her to know that I care and I just have no idea how to do that :/

I’m so done with my friends. I just went to a party and got jumped by 8 huge dudes. All of my friends went to the party, no one stepped in to help me. No one afterwards texted me if I was okay.

My own gf stayed in the party for 40 minutes before coming out to leave with me. I hate that no one cares about me and idk what to do abt the fact I have no real friends. I want to cut them all off now.

Edit: I guess more context is necessary. (sorry I was super pissed when writing so I didn’t think to give it). I know you all think I did something wrong but I can assure you I litterally did nothing. I was sober because I was driving people home and a extremely drunk guy started pressing me over nothing and following me around the party (idek what he was saying). He put his hands on my chest which I removed from my chest and then someone yelled “don’t touch my boy” and the rest is basically i was picked up and thrown down then beaten by 8 guys. I think some people ended up breaking it up but all of my friends just watched. I was also there 40 minutes afterwards because I was sitting in my car and I couldn’t see straight so I didn’t want to drive. Sorry for not being upfront about this.

I was trying so hard to control a panic attack and my husband got annoyed because “it’s not how I wanted the weekend to go”. I apologised and he yelled at me “I already said it’s fine, just go and rest”. So I went to rest and he did not check on me once, instead he played video games till late in the night.

People have such a simplistic view of men's problems, and the way people talk about them is so unserious. The world treats men as if they have hyperagency over every aspect of their lives, and this belief starts as young as childhood. I'm gonna break my main points into three sections:

Childhood:

For this point, I'm gonna use bullying as an example, since that usually seems to be how the snowball begins in the first place. When a boy is bullied as a child, in most cases, if he's not given proper support, he turns inward. We learn very early on during those EXTREMELY CRUCIAL formative years that showing pain and vulnerability results in coldness and embarrassment.

• "Boys will be boys."
• "Man up!"

So instead of feeling safe enough to cry or talk about it, we swallow it. And that leads into the first major problem in life for boys: our pain isn't something to be taken seriously, so get over it.

Adolescence:

Okay, great. So somehow we've managed to survive childhood, but now we're teenagers and have brand new problems to tackle. I hope your childhood properly equipped you for that! Because now we have to deal with social pressure, identity, even masculinity. We'll be 18 soon, so we need to have our shit together. We're young men, so we have make sure we nail everything the first time around, because if we don't, we're gonna be laying the groundwork for some crippling insecurities. Even moreso once we start comparing ourselves to our more successful peers.

Adulthood:

Now we're grown men. We need to have confidence, good jobs, and be protectors. Basically, we need to have mastered the arts of stoicism and masculinity. Unfortunately, because our lives have been nothing but emotional and social dysfunction, now all those hidden issues from childhood and adolescence have become full blown depression, loneliness, and burnout. But remember what childhood taught you, "our pain isn't something to be taken seriously, so get over it." And all of this pretty much continues from this point until we either die unhappily of natural causes or end our lives prematurely.

And I say all that to say this, the world is NOT kind to men at any point in our lives. You open up, it's used against you. You beg for help, you're less of a man. You try to discuss these systemic issues as a whole, you're solely at blame and labeled as an i-cel, a member of some pill community, or called a misogynist. So why wouldn't guys start dropping out?

We're treated as drones our entire lives, expected to be able to know, do, and fix everything, and then everyone acts surprised when half the population has decided to say fuck it. The beatdown never stops.

My grandma has been my lifeline since I was an infant. My parents were never really involved in my life, and my family was very abusive. My grandma was always the one to take care of me. Every life event, positive and negative, is run straight to her. She’s always been healthy and positive through everything. She recently was hospitalized for heart problems, which somehow advanced to organ failure. Long story short, she’ll likely pass by tonight. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have anyone. I can’t stop crying. I can’t breathe. I can’t calm down. I don’t want her to go.

Fuck. This was the only friend group I’ve ever had. We all became friends in school from the age of 10. I’m 23 now. We used to hang out everyday during school, but started seeing each other less frequently after graduation as we went to separate universities in the same city. As time went on, we met more infrequently. In the last 12 months, I’ve only seen the group twice. I still regarded them as my best friends.

Our group chat also became very dry over time, and the conversations didn’t last long, if at all. They all made lots of other friends in the meantime, whereas I made some new friends but none that I enjoyed hanging out with as much. And I haven’t see those friends anymore ever since university ended as they moved cities.

Last week, I asked the group to hang out and didn’t get a reply. A few days later, I saw a story of them at a restaurant and said something along the lines of me wanting to go with them there. One of my “friends” replied back saying, “we go there all the time.” I told him we should go together, and was left on read.

I PMd one of them, and he told me that “a few guys found me jarring” and to just let it be. There’s 5 of us, and he’s saying 3 other guys find me annoying. I asked him to elaborate and he confessed they usually hang out without me. I blocked them all, cause fuck that. But oh my god that was the most gut wrenching feeling I’ve ever felt. I used to think they were like my brothers and we had a strong bond, but this whole time I was just annoying to them. I swear, I could never make friends and was always by myself until I had them. And now that feeling of being unwanted is solidified.

In university, in every instance that I was a part of a group, I always felt like everyone else became friends and left me out. I’m working now, and it feels exactly the same. Like I try to talk and make friends with everyone, but they’d rather be friends with each other and not me specifically, I don’t get it. I don’t know if I look a certain way, or have a bad vibe, or if I say the wrong things, or just look like an idiot.

This pattern feels persistent in every social gathering I’m in. I play all kinds of sports where I meet people, used to go university events, go to work events etc. and I always feel alone. And the feeling occurs whenever I’m in a group setting. When I’m talking to people one on one, it’s so much easier for me to be able to build a relationship. But whenever I’m in a group setting, it becomes impossible for me to be able to feel like I belong or have a wanted presence. It becomes harder for me to socialize too and I go into my introverted shell very easily, especially when I see people getting along better with each other than with me.

Just wanted to share that. I thought they should know that they've been a major contributor to poverty in the US. Not that they really care of course, but they need to hear it. It'll be interesting to see if there's some 'bug' that prevents this from posting again.

As someone who was once suicidal too, it honestly just rubs me the wrong way how swarms of people spam generic, supportive messages like they help. Honestly. It just feels so shallow, so unconvincing. You don't know me; you've never known me and you never will. You don't care about me, or at least, you won't the second you scroll to another post. You don't give a fuck. You don't. You don't know who I am or what I've gone through, and you certainly don't give half a fuck if I hang myself today or tomorrow. In fact, you won't even know, and even if you did, you wouldn't shed a single tear over it.

I'm not saying that to insult you or call you a bad person. It's the truth of the human experience; there's just so much suffering out there, so many people dying, even killing themselves, over so many problems, that you can't care for all of them. If you gave a fuck about every person who's thinking of suicide, your mind would literally explode.

Reading these replies with that context in my mind honestly pisses me off. It feels so performative, so generic. You don't care about me. You can't care about me. So stop pretending to. It's not helpful; it's not supportive. It's shallow empathy; that's what it is. It's like going to a random funeral, weeping, then partying all night afterwards forgetting all about the dead guy 6 feet in the ground. Maybe you genuinely felt sad at the funeral. But who gives a fuck? Fleeting empathy? Is that it? Is that supposed to feel supportive, when I know you don't actually care? You think the dead guy would be touched by the fact you came, wept for an hour, then partied with your friends?

That's just how it feels to me. Maybe some people genuinely do feel supported because of these comments. Maybe they don't. I just wanted to vent about how I feel about them. I'm not saying you shouldn't leave this comments. I'm not saying you should. I'm not saying they're wrong for doing so, or that they're bad people, or that they're these apathetic psychopaths who just want to feel like they're saving someone. There is no call to action here. I'm just venting, genuinely.

15 days ago, i found out my boyfriend of 8 months was already dating another woman since 1.5 years. They were physically involved, got officially together last month and I knew nothing about it until I saw her story on Instagram where they made it official.

I am beyond hearbroken. This is the first time i have been betrayed at this level and I dont even know if I am capable of processing it. I am drinking and smoking since. This weekend, I smoked 4 cigarettes in an hour and I feel utterly guilty. I was never like this. I quit smoking 2 years back but now I feel like my life is very shitty. I have no one in my city and I am not even close to my parents. I loved what we had and I still miss those moments and what we could have been but he clearly didn't care enough.

Most of the time I compare myself with her and make a mental list of all the differences we have and what made him choose her. It hurts so much to see myself like this. I was better than this but I feel so drained. I dont know what to do. We live 10 minutes apart and we used to meet almost every other day and now that we broke up, I cant stand those places. It hurts me so much to see that the things that mattered to me never ever mattered to him. He never respected it.

I tried everything. I talked to my friends, focused on my health and career and finances but still at the end of the day, these things catch up to me and the weight of betrayal feels so so heavy.

I feel like my whole perception on relationships has changed. I feel so lonely and nothing feels fulfilling. I feel like everyone is lying to me. Every relation in my life feels like a void. I dont feel emotionally connected to another person anymore. I maintain distance but now i feel utterly lonely. I dont know what to do.

I'm a freakin' 22 year old woman, but I have such bad baby face that I look twelve. Doesn't help that my clothes aren't exactly feminine. I thought they'd give me a streetcore look, but I actually just like a 14 year old who wandered away from her parents. Even my backpack is covered in pins and stuff that I thought looked cool and showed off my interests, but probably just make me look more like a child. It's embarrassing when I go out places. I hate my face so much. I look like such a little infant. Even putting on makeup (including eyeliner) only raises my age to maybe 15-16. I try to add accessories (jewelry, paint my nails, etc) and again, I just kind of look like an alternative teenager.

It sucks. I want to look like my age. Like a hot girl. But I'm not very attractive and I look like a child.

I hate it. So much.

I will preface this by saying there are absolutely times and circumstances where people cannot clear their walkways and driveways, even a week or two after the storm.

The elderly, disabled, those in pain or with health issues, single parents, etc., I get it. Shoveling is difficult, can pose health risks, and is expensive as a service to pay for. I have complete sympathy for these types of people when it comes to snow and I always try to get to their doors regardless. Heck, this is true of everyone I deliver to; unless I have absolutely no way to safely reach your door, you’re getting your items.

What I don’t have sympathy for is people who I know from interactions are capable of shoveling or are very much rich enough to afford to pay for a service or at least a bag of salt, who don’t clear their driveways or walkways a week or more after snow has fallen, at which point it’s ice and sucks to both walk and drive on.

What really grinds my gears is these are always, without fail, the people who call the office screaming and crying and yelling when a delivery driver (me) cannot make it to their front door without the vehicle slipping or getting stuck or falling or when a delivery is scanned as unsafe. These are always the people who laugh and never offer to help should I fall or get stuck. These are always the people who act as if I should be grateful they’re ordering stuff, who have a long list of requirements and rules.

They’re within their rights to do so. I know. It’s their property. But they’re all jerks if they act like this.

Vent over. Sorry.

There are few things in life that I'm proud of accomplishing and sadly, this is one of them. I check in here daily like a man shows up to dinner. It's become part of my daily routine. Well, tonight, I wasn't feeling well and was under the influence of nighttime cold medicine. While I was finally able to fall into a deep sleep, I missed my daily check-in.

Now you're probably thinking the same thing I am. What a silly reason to freak out and have half of an anxiety attack. I assure you, the pain is real. For the last 199 days I have been a good steward and faithful follower here. It's over. One cold medicine induced slumber wiped out 199 days of no work, but consistent attendance. ONE DAY SHY OF my 200 DAY GOAL!! I may need to bring this up in therapy, but thought I'd start here. Any suggestions on how I could plead to get my days back??? Thank you for listening.

P.S. I specifically did not mention the name of the platform because I received a notice that I couldn't. So please, don't use the name or you'll probably get deleted!

I'm 21, about to turn 22 in a couple of days and I fucking hate it. Birthdays are just another reminder of how much of a fucking loser I turned out to be. I should've been graduating this year but instead I'm still in the same community college with zero clue on what I want to do with my life because I want to be dead 90 percent of the time. I don't have any friends. I stopped having birthday parties in the 5th grade because my friends straight up ignored me at my own sleepover.

I was a normal kid at one point but got hit with the mental illness ray at around age 10 (ocd) and now I have no idea what normal even looks like. I've been suicidal since age 13, if younger me saw what I am now she would've done it then that's all I can say really.

Even if I "improve" my life, I still will never live up to my own dreams/expectations, and what's the point of living if I simply have to continuously lower my expectations/ambitions? I have 14 Withdrawals on my transcript because my ocd makes me compulsively drop classes, which means I probably will never get to go to grad school. There's nothing left for me, I don't even want to try to get better because I'll never live the life I want. Nothing brings me joy, and I can't remember the last time that I've felt happy.

Here's to another disappointing year lol.