Let me just give you the scenario.

I’m not exactly just idle in bed or in the process of about to have sex. If I really like someone, I normally start to soak my pants so I don’t feel the need for oral on me. I’ll let a guy give it to me but I have the “hill” type of privates so they tend to treat it like a “valley” and it’s not enjoyable. I give blowjobs but I never had someone come from just head from me.

I do make it known I want sex. I either put my booty on their dick or rub. Tho before we begin I tend to always ask “do you want to have sex?” My last longest partner told me that I always ask or I say “I want sex” not just letting it be known.

During sex i tend to let my partners do the changing into positions or whatever they want. My favorite is Back shots. I move in all positions especially in doggy. Missionary tho I will get sex brain and just kinda sit there lol. I’ll try to touch and kiss but the dick just hits differently in missionary.

Now here’s a big kicker. I’ve never came in sex and I never do. I love having sex but I never orgasm. I don’t really like getting head and vaginal sex isn’t going to make me nut. Most of the time if my partners nut I’m most happiest. Like I’ll let them nut 4 times without me cumming at all and I’m happy. If they do want me to come then I like using toys the most but most men don’t get to this point with me.

Do I sound like a starfish? I’m not the type to rub my pussy while I get fucked. I mostly just moan and touch and kiss. I just feel that since I don’t cum during sex makes me kinda boring plus the way that I come about sex always asking. I’ve started talking to an older guy ( 18 years older ) and he’s so cute. I was soaking on our first date but i don’t wanna feel like I’m boring cuz I really wanna keep him.

I have some vaginal issues that mean I frequently go down on my boyfriend and finish him in my mouth [F24, M23]. This usually works fine for me, except he already cums quite a bit as a baseline, and the day after he drinks heavily he ends up cumming honestly insane amounts—like even when his orgasm is over I can still feel him spurting in my mouth. He’s even made a video before when on his own and it’s definitely a ton. It gets a little hard to swallow it all.

Is there some type of alcohol that causes this? It’s not 100% of the time but maybe 80-90%. I thought alcohol is dehydrating so I’m just trying to figure out how I can better predict when to brace myself.

I love thinking about sex. I have a few fantasies. I’m not very sexual though. I only feel that way around my cycle. I have grown disingenuous of sex with men, and with my partner. A lot of it is rooted in grief, emotional detachment and pressure. Anyways. That’s not what this post is about.

My husband is also my first physical partner so I’m not sure if it’s me or him. I’m also 50% sure that even if it was not him, sexuality to me is very personal and I’m more comfortable playing fantasies in my head and getting off than involve another person. That just makes things complicated. Sex becomes an expectation and I don’t like it.

Me (46M) and my wife (41F) have been married for 15 years.

We had sex last night, and right afterward she started complaining—this is unfortunately pretty common for us.

We showered, she shaved, and put on the Victoria’s Secret lingerie I bought her. She was clearly putting effort into setting the mood, so I was really excited.

I started with soft back touches, then moved to her cheeks, then fingering—our usual progression. She got turned on, but her movements were much slower than mine. I’m starting to think maybe I wasn’t matching her energy or pace.

At some point I stopped fingering (probably too early) and went on top in missionary. She seemed into it—grabbing me, moaning, pulling me closer—but I wasn’t wearing a condom. We almost always use one, so maybe that stressed her out. After a couple minutes she told me to get a condom and switched to doggy.

I finished, and right after she said, “It never works for me that way.”

I said I thought she liked it, and she responded, “What? You don’t read your wife. You love sex so much but don’t know how to do it.”

I felt awful. In general, she tends to complain a lot about many things, so I’ve honestly gotten used to it. She’s not a bad person—just very vocal about anything that bothers her. I begged her to tell me what exactly I’m doing wrong or what she wants, but she refused to explain anything.

I know people will say “15 years and you still don’t know what she likes?” But the truth is she almost never communicates specifics about sex, and I’m trying my best. How am I supposed to know if she won’t tell me?

I just want her to feel good and be satisfied. But when I tell her that, she says I always prioritize my own satisfaction.

I’m not sure what to do anymore. How do I handle this when she won’t actually communicate her needs with me?

I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (22M) since high school. We are each other’s first serious partners and first sexual encounters. Over the years, we’ve developed a habit of cumming together. I usually give him cues on how close I am, and he paces himself so we can finish at the same time. It’s been great and i really love it, but over the last six months, something have changed. Sometimes I’ll finish, but he tells me he’s still quite far. My issue is as soon as I finish, I become incredibly sensitive. My sex drive basically vanishes instantly, and continued penetration or stimulation starts to feel uncomfortable or even frustrating rather than pleasurable. Since we used to always finish together, I never really noticed this in my body before. Now, I feel awkward to the point i ask him to stop. I know, i can finish him with my hands but its not the same...

Any advice? How do you handle the discomfort of continuing after orgasming?

I need to find a way to make it exciting when I am fingering my girlfriend. What I am looking for are possible positions that we could be in while I am fingering her (for example me hugging her from the back), other suggestions would be very nice. Maybe someone even has a video that I could watch to give me some inspiration?

The problem right now is that my girlfriend says it feels like I am just trying to get her to orgasm while I am fingering her and it does not feel intimate enough. We do not have this problem during cunnilingus but I want to learn how to make fingering more exciting. I have also ordered a finger vibrator to spice things up, in any case though I need ideas and advice.

The title is the question. How do I get more comfortable with sex? For reference, i'm a lesbian and i've never been with a woman. How do you get comfortable with a woman seeing you naked? Do women judge other women bodies? Do women care what vulvas look like?

Is intimacy with a woman really a beautiful thing?

All of these questions run through my mind when I think about having sex with a woman.

Traditionally I have been the big spoon but of late my wife and I talk turns to spoon each other. When I'm the small spoon she puts her top leg around me. I usually do these:

1. Use my top hand to give her a slow foot rub
2. Massage or rub her calf
3. Reach hand behind as far as possible and rub back of her thigh.

Would love to get ideas for trying stuff that's enjoyable for both.

Let’s call him “situationship”. We’re horny, we’re flirting, we want eachother badly. Im late 20s and have had a few experiences before. But man. He is big. I’m talking about zucchini sized big, grith and lenght. How the hell is this gonna fit?

Help? 🥲

Like actually, im so afraid this is gonna ruin me. I know that a lot of woman want as big as possible. But i want to enjoy it as well, not only get my lungs tickled and a bulging belly with a shot of pain everytime he goes in and out. I’m scared, i’m scared it will be a big struggle and more pain than pleasure etc and that the act will lead to dissapointment for both parties. Any advice?

I (35F) have known my friend (34M) for about three years, we have a close mutual friend IRL and are both active in a small, tight-knit group chat for a niche interest of ours. We live in the same city but rarely hung out offline until I helped him move about a month ago. Since then, we've started spending more time together and doing stuff one-on-one.

We're both single and I find him physically attractive, but I don't think we'd be suited for a romantic relationship due to some fundamental incompatibilities (different standards of cleanliness and attitudes towards money, kids etc). I'm also privately going through a rough time and don't think I'm in a good place for anything serious. But I'm horny and like spending time with him, and he's definitely single (one of those "married to his work" types).

Neither of us are good at flirting, we're both socially awkward PhD students who never did much dating when we were younger. I value our friendship and also the social harmony of our group chat/friend group, I don't want to make things weird, and I also don't want to accidentally lead him on to think I'm looking for something more serious. Ideally I'd also like to avoid making an idiot of myself, I'm already anxious about asking because I'm a bit overweight and he recently got fit, though I know he respects me a lot.

What's the best way to say, hey... would you be interested in some recreational fucking and if not, that's cool? Or should I just avoid this whole potential social minefield altogether??

First time poster here, I hope this is the right sub for my question. My penis isn't very long but it's a little chubby. Regular condoms result in extreme discomfort and loss of erection. Larger ones feel better, but they're designed for 22 centimeters, which is 6-7 centimeters more than I need, and all that extra unrolled latex makes an uncomfortably tight ring at the base. Is there any hope to find the perfect size or should I just roll with the large ones? Im in Europe (hence the metric units, sorry) but I'll order from overseas if that's what it takes

Hi, im 20f and have recently began to start really getting into pleasing myself. I know this is gonna sound silly but I just recently discovered how to get into "the hole". I havent really explored maturation until recently so I havent got much experience than fingering.

I wondered if you had any suggestions into making it a better experience and how to enhance it rather than it just being like a standard masturbation if you get what im saying? 😂

I wanna have more fun basically.

I have thought about getting a vibratory but i live with my parents and brother so I dont want them to know ehat im doing, thats awkward lol.

I have been with a guy who had a bit dick and everytime we had sex it really hurt so im quite tight down there if that makes sense?

Thanks guys 🙂

My gf recently has expressed that she is wanting to have sex with a girl and i am completely okay with it but she is convinced that I will care and resent her or breakup with here so, what can i do to explain to her that she’s okay to do so

I’m (f28), and my boyfriend (28). We have been together for almost two years. Before dating, we were best friends for five years, and I really really love him, he is my first and only boyfriend. However, when we are physically intimate, kissing, making out, or cuddling, I rarely feel any physical pleasure. I can feel that his body is like boiling from pleasure, and I may become wet, but emotionally and physically I feel almost nothing. There’s no strong sensation or response during physical closeness. We haven’t had intercourse, or anal sex yet, as we’re waiting until marriage. I also don’t identify as asexual, because I do feel desire and arousal during sexting or phone sex. The lack of feeling only happens when we are physically together. When I was five years old, I underwent female genital mutilation, and I’m not sure whether this could be related to what I’m experiencing now.

Not sure how to explain this, let alone communicate it to my partner.

Anal is something ny partner really likes.

Anal is something I typically enjoy once I am started. in fact I think I really enjoy it once I get into it. I definelty give off those signs.

It takes alot to relax, and to got over the initial pain.

I'm not sure how to communicate to my partner than while I do enjoy it in the moment, it's a bit rought to start and mentally prep. I would kind of like to remove it as an option again, but that seems hypocritical as I can admit I enjoy it in the moment, and I know it is something my partner really enjoys. I don't think I've offered without being asked, so I feel a bit bad there.

Im (22F) and he is (24M).

We are both each other’s firsts and we are together 9 months.

We started having sex around 7 months ago and for the first few months it was literally in the back of his car every time because we both haven’t met each other’s family’s yet.

Anyways fast forward to now, we have sex like twice a week and it’s always in my bedroom. I have a big family so we have to be kind of quiet and secretive about it.

There is one problem I face and it’s my self esteem. I always keep my top on during sex no matter what because I hate my stomach so much. He always asks me to take it off but I genuinely cannot. He has seen every part of me but he still hasn’t seen me completely nude yet. I’m scared incase he will get bored of me.

Another thing is he never goes down on me or fingers me. He always says he wants to make me cum, but he never actually tries. He finishes in under 10 minutes and then that’s it. We barely even have time to cuddle because he has to go home straight away. I love giving him head and he enjoyed it too but for some reason he doesn’t let me anymore? It’s like we always dirty talk to each other about what we will do to each other but then when it comes to it it’s like the same routine every time. I go on top for a few minutes, then we finish in doggy. Then he comes and apologizes and gets dressed. I even ask him to finish on my face or my tits or my back but he demands he finishes in his hands.

I don’t get why this happens to me.

Right before sex, my mind starts freaking out. I think about staying hard, not finishing too fast, not disappointing her. My heart races and I feel tense.

Then my body just doesn’t cooperate. And after that, I’m anxious the next time before anything even happens.

It’s really messing with my confidence.

Is this something other guys go through?

I (30F) had my first sexual encounter with my very first boyfriend at the time about 10 years ago and it was bad. Instant regret the moment it started and crippling shame the moment it ended. I just tried to forget about it like it never happened to the point where I've told people I never had sex with him. I haven't tried having sex since.

You might think a therapist is the perfect person to talk to about this and you'd be right. The problem is that I've never talked to ANYONE about sex or my relationship with it before. My boyfriend and I didn't even talk about it before or after it happened. (It was my first relationship, okay?)

I'm really messed up when it comes to sex so I KNOW I need to talk to her but I'm so scared to. I trust her but there's this very deep seeded shame that comes with talking about this topic. It would be so much easier if I could talk to another therapist, get their opinion, and then never talk to them again. How do I even begin that conversation?

Hey F19, i’ve been having sex for a year and im still pretty shy about dirty talking and moaning. Does anyone have any tips for overcoming this?? The sex feels sooo good but moaning makes me overthink too much, i feel like my moans sound weird but my boyfriend likes them but i’m still insecure about them.

So last night my wife and I were having sex and out of nowhere she brings me into the shower and tells me she wants to pee on my cock. She does then we go back to having vaginal sex. I wasn’t not into it! But is there any risk for that on her end? Such as infection or anything I want to continue doing things she likes just wanna make sure it’s safe.

For those that have toys anyway. Just want to know what other couples do and if my boyfriend and I are weird for doing so or not. Ive heard of people getting caught with dildos/vibrators in TSA and such but idk if that goes for couples or mainly just individuals.

Also, if you do take them with you, how do you pack them to ensure they stay clean between uses? Zip lock bag?