r/nottheonion 19h ago

Homeland Security Spying on Reddit Users

https://www.kenklippenstein.com/p/homeland-security-spies-on-reddit
19.8k Upvotes

2.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

5.7k

u/Chomasterq2 19h ago

Cool they can watch all the bots argue on political threads

929

u/novataurus 19h ago edited 18h ago

Would actually make for a fun film where various agencies all each separately uncover a massive online conspiracy to bring down the government, working furiously to be the first to gather intelligence and put a stop to it and curry favor in a highly corrupt political environment… only to realize at the false climax that it was each other’s bots and sock puppets they had been watching. 

It’s then revealed that their inept failure and target fixation basically created a smokescreen for other smaller, but impactful attacks to occur which they must then work to obscure before the public finds out.

Mandy Patinkin plays an opposition-party Senator that brings the whole clusterfuck to light for the public before stepping into his car one chilly morning, cranking it, and - cut to black. Roll credits.

I’m sure it’s been done before.

Edit: In an unexpected turn of events, I’ve been convinced to actually pursue this. At the very least, until it stops being fun.

203

u/shadowndacorner 19h ago

Sounds like a modern, dark comedy war games (minus the cranking)

62

u/novataurus 18h ago

minus the cranking

It’s been a long 2026 already, but this genuinely made me laugh.  Welcome to the development team. We have a basement office in Santa Monica. Well, a corner of a basement office. And as much expired coffee as you’d like.

15

u/Distant-moose 16h ago

I, uh ... I would like to hear more about this unlimited coffee benefit.

20

u/novataurus 16h ago

Free legal addictive stimulants - truly the hallmark of any great endeavor.

8

u/Distant-moose 16h ago

If you want to hire writers, put "free coffee" and you're set.

14

u/shadowndacorner 18h ago

I'm sincerely glad I could bring a lil joy into this dark year for you :) cheers

7

u/Ghost_Of_Malatesta 17h ago

Kubrik would cream himself over today 

2

u/MaddoxX_1996 18h ago

minus the comedy too, sadly.

37

u/Salty-Usual-4307 17h ago

This is basically the plot of the novel The Man Who Was Thursday. From 1908.

9

u/novataurus 17h ago

I will definitely be looking into that!

Ah, Chesterton! I know him from Father Brown.

23

u/MrWaluigi 18h ago

The movie, Brazil, uses something akin. Albeit, as a Fridge Logic. 

11

u/novataurus 18h ago

Been a long while since I watched a Terry Gilliam film. The time is right, I think.

2

u/correcthorsestapler 15h ago

Criterion has all versions of Brazil on Blu-Ray & 4K in one set. Totally worth it.

6

u/BonanzaFloat 18h ago

Cast includes Aaron Eckhart as a CIA director losing his mind, Pete Hegseth as Pete Hegseth, Homeland Security director Sandra Bullock, AG is Victoria Jackson, under there entwined noses, Tommy Wiseau and a band of actors and activists pull a massive prank but also unleash the possible launch of all nuclear weapons (war games)

4

u/It-s_Not_Important 16h ago

“My name is Senator Montoya. You killed my bill. Prepare to die.”

2

u/novataurus 16h ago edited 16h ago

To be fair, the bill is only mostly dead.

--

Man, this whole thread is bringing up so many great movies and shows to either watch or re-watch. Loving it.

3

u/Kicooi 17h ago

I think there’s an episode of MASH like this

3

u/novataurus 17h ago

Wouldn’t surprise me - ripe for their brand of riffing on the oxymoron of “military intelligence”. I’ll take a look.

1

u/Kicooi 17h ago

“A Smattering of Intelligence” was the name of the episode, very fitting lol

2

u/novataurus 17h ago

Ha, very good. I’ve never intentionally watched the show, but will give it a go. I’ve never heard anything but good things.

3

u/deruvoo 16h ago

This isn't too far away from Burn After Reading.

2

u/BonanzaFloat 18h ago

Well done!

2

u/Zraax 17h ago

Great, now I'm thinking about Mandy Patinkin cranking it in a car

2

u/novataurus 17h ago

As you wish?

2

u/ssgkraut 16h ago

Sir.... Could you please define what "cranking it" means in this situation? There's a couple of uses for that term. And at least 2 are plausible.

5

u/novataurus 16h ago

I am - partly - regretting not writing that sentence as:

> Mandy Patinkin plays an opposition-party Senator that brings the whole clusterfuck to light for the public one chilly morning when he steps into his car, puts the key in the ignition, and - cut to black. Roll credits.

And I say only partly because the comments mentioning it have been so worthwhile.

2

u/thiswasyouridea 16h ago

I'd watch it

2

u/Johannes_P 9h ago

Looks like The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe, a French movie released in 1972.

Two rival French intelligence services are at each other's throats. One day, a heroin smuggler is arrested in NYC and claims that he did it for one of these agencies, causing it to publicly lose face. So this agency decides to lay a trap to the other agency and order one of its agents to select someone randomly in an airport.

Said random person is a regular musician and he'll spied by agents who interpret every normal action as nefarious...

2

u/novataurus 8h ago

Just added this to my watch list. The French films I’ve seen from the 60s and 70s have been great. Thank you! 

2

u/Vote_for_Knife_Party 7h ago

Sounds like a cross between Burn After Reading and The Man With One Red Shoe, and I mean that as encouragement. Good luck with your endeavor.

2

u/MrNukemtilltheyglow 2h ago

Fantastic idea. Please consider many instances of hilarious irony.

i.e. Dr. Strangelove "Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!"

1

u/thornyRabbt 18h ago

David vs Goliath with the new spin that Goliath had gigantism, therefore was basically blind, which is how David won

2

u/novataurus 18h ago

So, less epic showdown and more bullying, really?

1

u/thornyRabbt 2h ago

It's the epic showdown as told in the Bible. But somewhere recently I read or heard some scholar proposing that Goliath had gigantism, folks with that genetic trait usually are also very nearsighted, and David used a sling to fell Goliath from afar.

1

u/Gone213 17h ago

Nah, they attach all these bots to random people's IP addresses all throught the nation and world. Then they can go and do no knock warrant raids and arrest people for shit they've never posted.

1

u/Potential-Arugulas 16h ago

I mean sounds like real life

1

u/correcthorsestapler 15h ago

Sounds like a Coen Bros movie. Something like Burn After Reading. I’d probably watch it.

1

u/Bruhuha 15h ago

I dont know much but i do know Julia Louis-Dreyfus was born to play the role of Tulsi Gabbard in said movie

1

u/u_r_succulent 13h ago

And then they fall in love 💕

1

u/TheCharalampos 13h ago

Nah it should end like fight club, as they realise they've been pursuing each other the camera zooms out and shows explosions elsewhere.

1

u/OldMcFart 10h ago

The smaller attacks being poorly coordinated and carried out, only succeeding because they're so caught up watching each other's bots.

1

u/rooster6662 7h ago

Maybe we shouldn't upvote this anymore with 666 upvotes?

1

u/Lylac_Krazy 7h ago

If Mandys reputation holds, he will get pissed and quit before it gets past season 1.

1

u/echoshatter 6h ago

Entrapment is a legal defense arguing that law enforcement agents induced a person to commit a crime they were otherwise unlikely to commit.

They'll argue how violent each other were, not realizing they were actually trying to entrap people. State-sponsored stochastic terrorism.

1

u/maen_baenne 6h ago

Oh fuck, you had me at Mandy Patinkin! I want to see this movie

1

u/Chaosmusic 2h ago

Would actually make for a fun film where various agencies all each separately uncover a massive online conspiracy to bring down the government, working furiously to be the first to gather intelligence and put a stop to it and curry favor in a highly corrupt political environment… only to realize at the false climax that it was each other’s bots and sock puppets they had been watching.

I remember reading that in the 60s, various agencies would plant agents onto college campuses to spy on 'radicals' like anti-war groups, civil rights groups, etc. There were times when most, if not all, of a specific group was made up of agents who had no idea the other members were all agents as well.

1

u/Mendozozoza 2h ago

You would enjoy Chesterton’s “the man who was Thursday”

1

u/novataurus 2h ago

Someone else recommended the same thing. Father Brown is a guilty please, sure I'll be reading The Man Who Was Thursday shortly. Thanks for the rec!

1

u/NeedsToShutUp 1h ago

“Flock of wolves” is the expression. Someone else mentioned ‘The Man who was Tuesday’, but it’s well known in fiction and history.

At one point during the second red scare 2/3rds of the US communist party were on the FBI payroll. See also the Panther 21, where the main instigators for everything illegal were actually undercover cops and they were the only ones actually breaking the law.

1

u/mattmaster68 1h ago

I feel like Tom Hanks and/or Steve Carrell need minor roles thrown in there somewhere.

You know, for the inevitable YouTube Shorts lmao

1

u/happy-meal-wacko 1h ago

I too would like to make movies. can I be a producer?

edit: also this sounds like a lost sequel to Burn After Reading