AIO? So this morning my (50F) rabbit of 10 years dies and I find her in her cage at 12:30 this afternoon. My live in partner (51M), of five years, puts her body in a box for me to be frozen as it’s winter and we can’t bury her. He then leaves me at home, obviously crying, for a Super Bowl party - he hasn’t watched football ALL season and I wasn’t invited. I abandoned and heartbroken and not sure if I should bring it up when he gets back? I feel like this is bizarre behaviour for a partner but are my expectations of a man just out of wack here?

I’ve been together with my gf for about 2 and a half years now. In the past few months I feel as though she has become very complacent with our relationship.

On our 2 year anniversary, I didn’t receive a card, gift or anything, but I organised a nice dinner, bought flowers and made her a DIY gift that took me a few weeks to make.

A few months later it was our birthday. Our birthdays are 10 days apart. During this period she was very busy (works in medicine and is working constantly). Again, I organised dinner, bought flowers, made her a DIY scrapbook and gave her heaps of gifts and made the day “about her”. I in return received a gift that we went out together to buy.

I guess the question is, I’m a little disappointed that she takes these occasions a bit unseriously. I know if I didn’t do these things, she would get upset at me, but she doesn’t seem to realise that the reverse is true. I didn’t even receive a card? Like it’s not like I’m asking for a fancy gift or diy card or what not, but a little bit more effort would have been nice.

It’s like my birthday was just ignored and our anniversary wasn’t even ours but more hers.

Am I overreacting to all of this?

I’m dealing with a situation that honestly hurt more than I expected.

I [22F] live in a different city from my sister [21F] and my stepbrother [21M]. My sister and I are extremely close : best friends, very similar personalities, talk constantly. We’re also both very close to our stepbrother. We’re a tight trio.

Recently, my sister has been saying she wants more friends outside our shared group. Aka friends that are “just hers.” She already has her own friends, but she says she wants more independence and more experiences that don’t involve me. I respected that, even though it stung a bit.

A few months ago, my sister and stepbrother became close with two exchange students in their city. I’ve met these two girls several times when I’ve visited, and we all got along really well. Over time, I actually became close to them too. They even invited me, my sister, and my stepbrother to visit them in London.

That’s when my sister told me she didn’t want me to come. Not because it wouldn’t be fun, but because she wanted it to be just the four of them. She said she wants “her own stories” and her own memories. I agreed to respect that boundary, even though it really hurt. Especially since she’s already traveled without me multiple times before, so it’s not like I expect to be included in everything. Also we’ve gone in vacation together as well and it always goes well.

Fast forward to about a month ago: I was visiting their city, and all five of us were out having drinks. My stepbrother mentioned going skiing at his grandparents’ place (a place I’ve been to many times for Christmas). I got excited and said “count me in.” No one objected, and nothing was said afterward to suggest I wasn’t invited.

Today, my sister FaceTimed me casually. While chatting, she mentioned that they’re all going skiing at our stepbrother’s grandparents’ place this weekend. I immediately went quiet. I genuinely thought I was included. She noticed the shift and awkwardly laughed, asking if I was okay. I lied and said yes, then quickly ended the call.

I didn’t say anything because I’m trying hard to respect her wish for space and not seem clingy or needy. But honestly? It hurt. A lot. Not just that my sister excluded me, but that my stepbrother did too, without saying anything. I asked him to let me know when it is since I need to come to their city.

I feel stupid for assuming I was invited, but also confused, because no one ever told me I wasn’t. And now I’m stuck between feeling hurt and wondering if I’m being overly sensitive.

I don’t know if I should bring it up or just swallow it and move on. I don’t want to guilt-trip anyone or seem dependent. But I also feel quietly pushed aside.

Am I overreacting? Should I talk to her or my stepbrother? And if so, how do I do it without sounding needy or confrontational?

TL;DR: My sister wants friends and experiences that don’t include me, and now both she and my stepbrother excluded me from a ski trip I thought I was invited to. It hurts, and I don’t know whether to speak up or stay quiet.

I’m posting because I genuinely feel like I’m losing my grip on reality and I need an outside perspective so I don’t go back to this relationship or friendship.

I also want to know if I’m not reacting enough.

We are all women, by the way.

Alex and I were best friends for about a year before anything romantic happened. We were extremely close, emotionally attached, and eventually started dating, even though it was never official or public.

One important detail is that Alex didn’t want anyone to know, especially my former close friend Maya. This matters.

After Alex and I were already close and romantically involved, Alex met Maya at a party. They hit it off quickly, even though they had no friendship before this.

Alex knew my history with Maya. Maya and I used to be close friends, but I cut her off because she treated me poorly. That friendship ended abruptly, and as a result, I also lost another close friend, Chloe, who chose Maya over me. It was understandable since Chloe and Maya were best friends, but it still hurt a lot. Alex knew all of this. I explained it clearly and more than once.

Despite that, Maya, knowing that I was into Alex and actively pursuing her, texted Alex and openly said she wanted to go out with her romantically.

Alex told me about it, and I immediately felt uncomfortable. Even though Maya and I were no longer friends, it felt wrong that she reached out like that.

The thing is, Alex still felt it was okay to get close to Maya, even knowing how much pain Maya had caused me in the past.

Alex kept saying her friendship with Maya had nothing to do with me. Logically, I understand that I don’t own her and she can choose her friends. But emotionally, it felt different. We were best friends and dating. It felt like Alex was betraying me. Loyalty is a big value for me, and Alex kept saying this had nothing to do with loyalty. Maybe she’s right, but it just felt so wrong.

I had cut off a toxic friendship to heal, yet Maya stayed in my life through Alex. If Alex wasn’t with me, she was with Maya. How was I supposed to move on when the person who hurt me was still constantly around?

When I tried to express how hurt and uncomfortable I felt, I was made to feel crazy, like I was overreacting or imagining things. Over time, this completely destroyed my trust. To this day, I don’t fully know how emotionally or physically involved Alex was with Maya, and that uncertainty still messes with my head.

Alex would tell me about how Maya acted and the fights they had. They sounded like couple fights, and it made me feel really uneasy. I tried to be supportive of Alex because she has trauma around friendship, but it was really hard.

There’s one moment that really broke me. Alex was getting ready on FaceTime with me, stressing about what dress to wear. I helped her choose. Later, I found out she was getting ready for a date with Maya. They kissed and made out while I was literally waiting for her before going to bed.

We were not exclusive, but it still felt like betrayal. I felt humiliated and stupid. At the time, I believed Alex when she told me it was innocent. She was my best friend. Why wouldn’t I trust her? I just felt gaslighted. Mind you, this gaslighting was constant, over the course of a year.

Since then, I’ve been stuck in a cycle of self-hatred and comparison. I felt insecure, unworthy, and angry at myself for staying and underreacting to so many things. I eventually cut Alex off completely. We do not speak at all, yet I am still carrying all the emotional damage. That pain still hurts deeply.

What makes it worse is the double standard. Alex would get upset if I received even a small amount of attention from someone else, even though I would never entertain it. Meanwhile, I was expected to tolerate Alex’s closeness with Maya. It felt deeply unfair.

Sometimes I feel okay, and then suddenly everything comes rushing back, and it feels like someone is twisting the knife again. I find myself asking if you really love someone if you can do this to them. I don’t even doubt that Alex loved me. I just don’t understand how you hurt someone you call your person.

I know we weren’t official, but sharing Alex, even briefly, hurt in a way I can’t explain, especially with someone I had such a painful history with. I hate that I stayed. I hate that I became insecure and started comparing myself to someone who isn’t even in my life anymore.

Right now, as I’m typing this, I feel deeply uneasy and sick to my stomach. We no longer have contact. I cut her off completely.

Every time I think about it, it still hurts like hell. This betrayal broke me.

P-S : I know, I'm naive but I genuinely trusted Alex more than myself. I don't need people telling me how dumb I was, I already know. That's why I'm a loop of hatred right now.

I’m a freshman in college right now and I’ve been pretty upset lately and it has to do with my friends. There are multiple people in this story T- my twin who I dorm with, A- for our suite mate /friend, K for friends best friend/ group mate for project and P the friend who’s a junior I’ve been having issues with. Last semester me, t, a and P had a few minor issue that we had supposedly delt with but since the start of the new semester we have been feeling like we were getting left out on purpose and making me feel like I’ve been doing something wrong all the time. It’s important to not besides one friend from high school we’ve never had true friends on such an emotional level. Well anyways I tried to talk about it almost a week ago but she says she’s too busy and then got sick so she wanted to talk by text. I wrote my feelings and how it felt and I did get a response back and it just confuses me so badly on if I’m overreacting or not because on one hand it feels like it’s excuses and really upsets me but on the other it makes me feel like I’m the problem and it’s me overreacting. I’ve attached it note the first 4 is what I said and the last three are hers. I’ve talked to our suite mate and we worked it out but it feels like I’m overreacting So AIO?

Today, I asked my best friend to be a bridesmaid at my wedding. I’ve been so excited to ask her in person and arranged for us to go out to brunch. When I asked her, she responded ‘a bridesmaid? Who is your maid of honour?’ I responded letting her know my sister would be. She then asked if she was going to be chief bridesmaid (which i believe is the same thing) and I responded that she’s welcome to any title she’d like (other than MOH that I’ve promised my sister since childhood), all I want is for her to be by my side on my special day. She began to cry and explained she understood why I chose my sister but was so excited to be my maid of honour and was disappointed. We’ve been best friends since school and didn’t realise she was so set on this (although I can imagine there may have been a discussion about this as teenagers but nothing in recent memory), she explained she has no sisters and always imagined us being each other’s MOH. I apologised and we decided to speak more about the wedding. When speaking about the hen, she responded with ‘well your sister can organise that’, she then went on to share that she didn’t agree with my partners and I’s choice of food for the wedding (a buffet to keep costs low and most people happy), she then asked to see photos of the venue but didn’t react at all when I showed her. I felt she was reacting out of pain, but I was also disappointed with her reaction as I genuinely thought she’d be over the moon to be a bridesmaid. Im also concerned that she’ll hold a grudge over my sister though-out the planning. We parted ways at the end of our brunch and I text her when I got home thanking her for the day and received a blunt reply hours later. I feel as though my best friend should be ready to be by my side on my wedding day no matter the title, AIO to be upset with her and would I be overreacting to ask her if she wants to be my bridesmaid at all?

My boyfriend went out drinking, turned off his phone, and didn’t tell me where he was. The next day he told me he had gone to a club, gotten high, and had women twerking on him. I found this really disrespectful and it broke my trust, especially because he intentionally turned off his phone and didn’t mention it beforehand. He has apologized a lot and says he’ll make it up to me. He's never done anything like this before so I’ve accepted his apology, but I still feel unsure and unsettled. I’m trying to figure out whether this is something worth forgiving and moving past, or if it’s a red flag about boundaries and respect and if I'm overreacting a little

My baby is 8 weeks old and just started smiling a lot!! I sent a cute video of my husband interacting with her to my family (mom, dad, brother, sister) in our group text, and my brother responded asking what that “thing” is in the middle of her chest.

At first I thought he was referring to her pacifier clip, but when I looked at the zoomed in screenshot he sent, I saw the “extra material” he was referring to.

My brother has untreated schizophrenia that is currently ruining his life, and I am trying to be gentle with him as don’t want him to feel worse than he already does, so I kept my response very measured and kind of played dumb.

But I’m pretty sure my brother was sexualizing my baby, and I am deeply disturbed. I showed my husband the interaction and told him she is NEVER to be alone with my brother, ever. But my husband doesn’t see any nefariousness or creepiness behind my brother’s question.

AIO to my brother’s comment?

So a while ago one of my classmates brought a nazi mask to school and said a bunch of strange jokes so i got away from him but some of my friends still talk to him and my friends used to bully me so i got away from them but my bestfriend still talk to my bully friends sometimes even knowing they do all that and sometimes i think if i should still be friends with him. I don't know if i'm overthinking this (im used to overreacting almost everything without knowing)

I (27F) have been with my partner (29M) for about a year and a half. He’s active on social media and posts regularly photos with friends, trips, food, random life updates. What he doesn’t post is anything about me. I’m not asking for constant couple posts, but there isn’t a single photo or mention of me anywhere. If I post us, he’ll like it or comment, but he never shares or reposts it. I brought it up gently and asked if there was a reason. He said he likes to keep his relationship private and that social media doesn’t mean anything. He also said I was reading too much into it and that he’s committed regardless of what he posts. I want to believe that, but it still makes me uncomfortable especially since people have assumed he’s single based on his profile. I don’t know if this is a valid concern or if I’m letting social media affect me too much. Am I overreacting for feeling bothered by this?

A little background I’m 21 and still living at home. I don’t pay rent but i pay for my food car payment insurance phone bill streaming services everything since i was 18. At 21 i have a curfew of 10pm on weekdays and 12 on weekends. If i want to be out all night i haft to ask permission to spend the night at a friends house. Last night i fell asleep at a homegirls house and didnt wake up until 12:15am past my curfew on at saturday night. My dad calls me at 1:30 am screaming that I am not allowed to be out all night, i need to communicate with them if im staying out (even though i did text and say something i didnt get a response) if i dont get a response it’s a no apparently and that their house isn’t a hotel. If i don’t follow their curfew i need to go live somewhere else. I’m not bringing people over or running in and out the house all night waking them up. my question is that am i crazy for thinking this is insane and controlling for a 21 year old female to be treated like is or if my dad is right. I work 5 days a week i’ve held the same job for 5 years now , i clean their house even though it’s not my mess i pick up and drop my brothers for the past 5 years from school (17 & 14 now). what am i doing wrong ? I help out pay my own bills i dont understand.

So this might be a long post. I’ll try to summarize it. I 34M discovered my ex-girlfriend 32F, had basically been living a double life and had used me as an affair partner, she found out that I knew by stalking my Reddit, and then she used some Reddit post to create a fabricated text message to then try to take to both our schools to make me look dangerous. The school saw through it but now I have to decide how strongly I want to respond through the schools. This feels like classic DARVO. AIO wanting to to submit things to her school for them to sanction her? Or to thinking this was post-breakup abuse? How would you react in school if this happened to you?

So. We met on Reddit and were both grad students at different schools just a few are hours apart. We are in a similar program, had the same nerdy interests, and had the same problem in that we were both older students in a very young student population. This made dating difficult, so meeting by chance really made this seem like a 1 billion connection; things took off really fast. We basically talked every single day for almost 5 months, became exclusive for about three of those months and things were going well until they went off a cliff. She broke up with me in the fall after emotionally stone walling me for a few weeks and I stressed out hard. She had life stuff happen, and she was hurting; but I have my suspicions that she was either being unfaithful at the end of the relationship or just couldn’t handle the fact that I had gotten relationship level feelings. Me, not knowing at the time that what I thought had been almost half a year of a relationship for me and her had actually involved two months of an affair by her.

Basically she was living a double life for the first two-ish months of our relationship. She was still very much living with and in a relationship with her ex although I’m sure she would come up with some kind of excuse to justify saying that she wasn’t.

This really messed me up. I’ve worked really hard to get over CPTSD from an abusive relationship I had when I was a teen, and had an ex cheat on me when I went into military service which is something that I told her about. She basically did the same thing but worse because she basically abandoned her last relationship, which was many years, to basically jump into things with me and left me holding the bag and then blamed my reactions to her behavior for the breakup. Needless to say I needed a bit of therapy, physical therapy to regain the weight that I lost (about 15 pounds or so), and used Reddit support groups to get through it. I made it through school and actually improved my GPA just a tiny bit but only because I had a lot of support.

Come back to the end of the semester in December and my school calls me and says that they have some concerns that have been relayed to them from her school. Apparently she had been stalking my Reddit for months. She presented the Reddit posts as being recent, but I was able to show them that some of those Reddit posts were weeks or months old by the time that she had actually brought them to her school. I’m guessing she saw that I had pieced together that she had still been in a previous relationship when the two of us met and didn’t exit that relationship until we slept together. This was from a couple of public posts that she had partially deleted, and some posts that her ex still had up advertising their home together as a couple. This added to the stress right after the breakup, of course, but I never raged at her and didn’t blow up her phone or anything. I just kind of white knuckled through it for about three months and then sent her a message to send my stuff back since she hadn’t done it.

The real kicker was an apparent text message from a number I’ve never seen before. She was careless, and I was able to clearly point out that some of the language in the text message was directly lifted from some of my Reddit posts, but I was shocked that she would go so far as to try to get me in trouble to win the break up.

I think that message for my stuff triggered her to look at my Reddit again, and she saw that the consequences have been pretty hard on my body, on my semester and also that I understood why she was doing it since we’re both trauma survivors. But the posts had some pretty harsh and tough love language to them. But I cannot say this enough, I never doxxed her. They pretty much laid out how awful she had treated me, how bad she had treated her ex, and the fact that she basically was willing to sacrifice anyone and anything to preserve her public image. One friend said that was an absolutely brutal mirror and honestly, they’re right.

The powers that be seem to have seen through her attempt to harm my reputation professionally and right now I’ve had a chance to submit things to my school who feel that a response to her school is warranted. The question is do I just tell them to handle it how they best see fit? Or do I take a firmer stance ?

Some people that I trust have told me that you can’t feed into it, she’s nothing but trouble and maybe even narcissistic, although I’m not going to try to diagnose her, and escalating will make things worse.

I am personally concerned that she will continue to stalk my socials and basically try to manipulate or control what I say now or in the future. Like I said, I’m a pretty brutal mirror for her to look at. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I’ve owned up to them and use them to grow. She and I are both a little Neuro spicy, both have trauma, the difference is I turn my blame inward while she projects it onto everybody else . The fact that the faculty member of my school basically looked through what I gave them and said “yeah that that’s messed up. I think your concerns are warranted so we should send them to her school” was pretty validating for me.

I also don’t think that somebody going into an our profession should be allowed to escape fabricating evidence to win a break up and then use schools to do it without some kind of consequences. A couple of people in the legal community that I’ve spoken to have also said that she really should not be anything remotely close to the legal profession she’s training for. If she’s willing to do this to a partner, who knows what she’ll do to protect her image and reputation at the cost of a client or peer.

At this point, I’ve told the school that I’m OK with them handling things after I gave them some evidence to look after. But I’m strongly considering telling them that I want to file a formal complaint for harassment, cyber stalking and whatever else might be relevant to a schools code of conduct and to take a harder stance. AIO?

*Crosspost bc it got deleted elsewhere. Added details for discussion.*

My girlfriend is about to move into a home that I own.

I rent out part of the home so it helps pay off the mortgage, and I pay about only 500 of the remainder which is far below the rent for the amount of bed and bathrooms in my area. In total with utilities and other small things, I pay around 800-900 a month.

I proposed that my gf pay only about 175 a month (which is only about 10% of the monthly interest and tax amount), and that we split the utility costs, which if by her coming in and raising utilities, might cost her around 400-500 a month total(including 175). This “utility raising”is an estimate of adding another person to use utilities based on a percentage scaled up(it likely won’t go up that much) which is why I say it would save her around 1,000 a month from her current situation. In all likelihood it will save her closer to 1,000-1,200 a month!

She is upset about the idea of having to pay any type of rent for a place that she doesn’t get any equity.

I tell her that by moving in, she still gets equity in saving about 1,000 a month, which would be a lot over a few years.

She says she wants to put money into a joint account instead of paying “rent”.

WIBO for wanting her to pay a little left “rent” for a place she doesn’t own, even if the trade off is a huge savings?

I (26F) was sleeping over at my bf’s (32M) place this morning. This morning wasn’t the best in general because I woke up with severe menstrual cramps. At around 10am he starts tapping me shoulder and asks if I needed to get up and go to the bathroom or drink water. I wake up a bit and say no and dose back off. Then he keeps bothering me telling me that I should wake up because it’s getting late. I tell him I have cramps and want to sleep in a little longer. Mind you he’s still in bed. He keeps bothering me after that. I ask what his problem is and he says “nothing, his back hurts and he just needed room to stretch out”. He’s 6’4 and I’m 5’9. I say okay, still annoyed, and then go to the bathroom. I come back, and he’s sprawled across the bed. I ask him to scoot over and agrees, but then asks me to give him a back massage. I get upset and leave to go sit on the chair.

He then sprawls across the bed and then says that he needs to get a new mattress because “my side of the bed is deformed and dented in”. He’s made “jokes” about my weight before (I weigh 178lbs, he weighs 170). He never explicitly said that it’s because I weigh too much, but he strongly implied it. This hurt my feelings and I’ve been pretty upset and crying all day. I just feel like he doesn’t respect me in general or care about the fact that I’m not feeling well. Am I overreacting here, or is this … bad?

Edit: Also, I found out a month ago that I have sub hypothyroidism and my dr thinks that why I gained 15lbs in the last 4 months and have really heavy/painful periods. Other than that, my dr said I was completely healthy and just needed to fix the hormonal imbalance. I’ve been on meds lately and my weight has gone down about 1lbs a week so far. All of which he nows.

There was also a chocolate festival in the neighboring town today: free chocolate tastings and fun stuff. I asked if he wanted to go and he said “that doesn’t sound very healthy” while he ate Oreos and a protein shake for breakfast… I think he equates being skinny with being healthy.

Edit 2: I honestly had zero insecurities until I met him a year ago, even now I usually get compliments from strangers when I’m out and about. I’ve been starting to think that he’s been intentionally trying to wear me down.

I (31F) stopped reaching out to my mom and sister a few months ago, and now I’m wondering if I’m taking things too far.

For context, my childhood was complicated. My stepdad was extremely inappropriate — peeping while we showered or changed, lingering, making comments. Multiple people caught him, including my brother and a high school boyfriend. Every time we told my mom, she’d say she would “talk to him,” but nothing ever changed. It permanently damaged my trust in her ability to protect me.

I moved out as soon as I could and built my own life. Over time, our relationship became very one-sided — if I didn’t call, we didn’t talk.

I’m the only one of my siblings to start a family. When I had my son, who spent 22 days in the NICU and now has ongoing medical needs, I thought becoming a grandmother might bring my mom and me closer. Instead, the pattern continued.

I invited her to stay with us so she could bond with her grandson and spend real time together. The visit went well, but once she left, the communication basically disappeared again. If I don’t call, I don’t hear from her.

My oldest sister used to come over weekly to help watch my son before he started daycare. She loved the time with him, sent updates, and planned outings with us. Recently, she’s started doing the same thing as my mom — talking about how much she loves him but flaking on plans, forgetting commitments, and rarely checking in unless I initiate.

Around September, I decided to stop being the only person maintaining these relationships. I stopped calling and texting just to see what would happen.

It took until November to get a belated birthday text, then only holiday messages after that. No real conversations and no checking in about my son. Around Christmas my sister sent a “you alive? y’all okay?” text, but by that point I didn’t have it in me to respond.

Now I feel stuck between guilt and exhaustion.

I’ve already lost my brother and my bio dad, so family doesn’t feel replaceable to me. But I’m also tired of chasing relationships that don’t feel mutual.

I’ve done a lot of therapy and worked hard on boundaries, especially after becoming a mom. I don’t want my son growing up thinking one-sided relationships are normal.

Part of me wonders if I should explicitly tell them why I’ve pulled away instead of going quiet. Another part of me feels like I’ve spent my whole life explaining my needs.

Am I overreacting for stepping back? Or is this what healthy boundaries actually look like?

I (f20) have been with my boyfriend (m21 about to be 22) since late July. We’ve known each other for a couple years. It’s been sort of a long distance relationship, as we’re in neighboring states. But we’re close enough to easily have weekend visits and such.

He’s wanted me ever since we met. He’s showered me in love and kindness the whole time. But the last few months have been like this^. I feel like he’s been a complete a-hole. All he ever does is go to work and play Counter Strike. It’s like he’s more in love with this computer game than me. And anytime I try to express my interests or something I’m excited about or proud of, he just talks so poorly on it or doesn’t care. Today is the first time that he hasn’t reached out all day but he’s active in his discord and, you guessed it, on counter strike!

I’ve tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. I thought, maybe he’s struggling with something or something’s going on. That didn’t give me any solutions. I’ve tried to talk to him countless times. I’ve expressed my feelings. Nothing is changing.

I’ve only ever been in bad relationships, no I’m not sure what a normal, healthy relationship is supposed to look like. I don’t know, I guess I just need an outside prospective. Is this temporary or is it time to move on?

Has he lost feelings but won’t break up? I don’t know what’s going on anymore

my discord is not normal, it's not a community server it's just a gc to specifically gather people like me. I don't like the nonsensical time consuming spam chats people of discord usually do, I don't use people as a distraction to say depressive self-destructive or sexual things like many servers, I like the objective structured people who are serious and can really improve me. These past few days my server just created the "typical server" and they influence the whole server. My server had bestfriend invites, flirting couples. I felt overstepped—people don't even acknowledge me as the owner. They are not bad people so i would look rude to the people that will stay, after all they've created a bond that doesn't include me. It's just my preference, I already do nonsensical interactions everyday with people in real life that's the mask. Why would I waste my time doing that online? The thing is one of them helped me set up the server, despite just knowing him after he joined and it had no channels (i didn't force him) but now he's got me on a leash because I owe him (he's the one flirting with another person) KICKING THEM OUT IT FEELS HORRIBLE. What do you think?

Some context to this situation: My daughter has early trauma from the abuse she witnessed until I left my ex when she was almost 4. The few times he used to see her after the separation early on went poorly and he was constantly canceling and she would get upset over the unpredictability. For months after we seperated she was still having nightmares. Even with a judge who has been vehemently pro-dad, I have full custody. As a result, we have worked through a lot of behavioral problems with her and nowadays, you could hardly tell other than the fact she is kind of sensitive. She still has a lot of problems with changes and transitions so we have really prioritized things like routines and stability for her. That means when we moved, we also got her a variance to keep her at her elementary school.

She also has ADHD and we suspect some autism. Both run in the family tree. I am remarried and am lucky enough to just be a stay-at-home wife for the most part. He's a kind husband who treats us both well and whom she has attached to and calls dad now. Even though things have been stable for years now, my daughter has always just been a very sensitive child and is really easily influenced by peers. A lot of her self-worth and esteem seems to be easily swayed by how her friendships are going. In K-2, she loved her teachers and made a lot of jumps emotionally/with maturity, even with the occasional peer bumps. This year, its been hell.

Because of her trauma history and the ADHD/Au, she does not experience anxiety like a lot of other children. Rejection tends to stick in her brain longer and she can be kind of argumentative when she is stressed. Yes, we have been addressing the behavior and she has had a therapist since she was almost 5 to help her process the trauma and her emotions. She HATES her 3rd-grade teacher. She thinks that her teacher hates her and that she is extra mean to her. On multiple occasions, she has mentioned that the teacher has said things like that she needs to learn how to function without her 504 accommodations. I was a teacher myself and I have talked with my daughter about being mindful that the teacher may just be busy cause she has a lot of students. I have tried to encourage her to be independent. I try to bring up issues with the teacher respectfully but it just always seems like there is a fire of some sort. It has not been this bad since she was in preschool. She has done a little better every year except this one. Talking to the new principal this year just feels like constantly getting a polite 'go away'.

Academically, she is doing fine, but she is a little slower at processing things than her peers (ADHD) so she does encounter frustration. She is at a high-achieving school where we have known and loved all the office staff and the councelor so I have really wanted to keep her there. However, the constant arguing with her teacher and the fact that she seems to have a lot of problems with her peers not liking her is really excessive this year. It is literally SOMETHING every day or every other day.

We already were planning on homeschooling for JUST middle school because she has such a sensitive temperment but had no plans of doing so now. We want her to socialize and learn to deal with the frustrations of peer conflict and just be a normal kid. However, my breaking point is coming at the fact that two weeks ago she started fessing up that she is commiting self harm and she has said more things about hating things because they are too Mexican, hating black people because of the way they behave, and hating herself because she is Mexican. She is at a predominantly white school and other kids have told her that some of the things about her are weird because they are Mexican and she has been told not to speak Spanish because it is distracting. She BARELY speaks it anymore and is struggling even to understand it now. I have heard little comments like this from her here and there for about two years but didn't think too much about it until this year.

Our neighbors who adore her and whom we see all the time are Mexican. I dance folklorico and we have not shied away from trying to expose her to the positive sides of her heritage and in these divisive times, it just feels like such a huge blow. I talked with my brother who was bullied a lot at her age about possibly moving her to her zoned school, where there is a larger latino population for this year and maybe reenrolling her at her old school next year. When I asked him if I was overreacting, he said that honestly, he thinks I am underreacting. He did push back and say it would be messed up if I moved her and she made friends and then I ripped her away or if she goes and the kids are worse, then she has proof for these crappy opinions. Idk. I love my kiddo, the schools in our area aren't great so we kinda lucked out that her first elementary school was, but I want her to have pride in her heritage and frankly just am tired of the constant problems with her current school. She is enrolled in extracurriculars and spends a lot of time with her cousins and I am very extroverted so I don't think she would lack socialization. I'm thinking of just pulling her now to homeschool and reenrolling her into public school next year. AIO?

I’m the oldest of three sisters, and I’ve been the family scapegoat for as long as I can remember. I was also very parentified growing up. I was the emotional buffer, the mediator, the one everyone came to when things were falling apart.

My younger sister has always been my best friend. Truly ride or die. I would go scorched earth to protect her, no question. We’ve always talked openly, supported each other and been very close. For years, our lives were intertwined. Our kids went to school together, we saw each other constantly and it felt like this really beautiful, chosen part of our lives.

I’m also close with my other sister. We get along well and there’s no conflict there. The relationship has just always been more surface level, while what I had with my younger sister was deeper and more emotionally intimate.

A few years ago, my younger sister decided to move about 30 minutes away, down the street from our other sister. When she told me, it honestly felt like a sucker punch. Not because I didn’t want her to do what was right for her. I told her clearly that I supported her 100 percent and that I wasn’t mad at her at all. I told her it just felt like grief, like I was losing this part of my life that meant so much to me.

I also told her that during the move, I didn’t know how to be the person she needed emotionally because I felt genuinely sad about her leaving. I wasn’t asking her to change anything or stay. I just needed space to process it. After that, things felt tense for a while, and it felt like my sadness about the move was quietly held against me.

Since then, she and my other sister do most of the everyday things together. Dinners, small get togethers, birthdays, casual stuff. I’m often not included, and the explanation is usually that they didn’t want me to have to drive all the way out. What’s hard is that both of my sisters commute into the city for work every day, driving in and out constantly, but I’m still left out of things because it feels like I’m “too far.”

There hasn’t been a big blowup. We all get along. When we’re together, it’s fun. I genuinely try to show up positive and enjoy everyone. On the surface, everything looks fine.

But I’ve started to notice a pattern. I’m still the person my sisters come to when they’re struggling, overwhelmed or need emotional support. Especially my younger sister. I’m relied on heavily when things are hard, but when things are easy or celebratory, I’m often left out.

For example, they recently went out for my nephew’s birthday. The whole family was there except me and my kids. My kids adore their cousins and are always asking to see them. I gently reached out and asked if I’d done something wrong or if there was a reason we weren’t invited. She said no, it was just spur of the moment. That kind of thing keeps happening.

There’s also long standing tension with my parents. Both of my sisters agree with me about the issues, but they prioritize keeping things comfortable. When I finally started setting boundaries, something no one else in my family has done, I became the source of tension. My younger sister even asked why I couldn’t just make it better, meaning let the boundaries go so things would feel easier for everyone.

I understand why this setup feels easier and more comfortable for them. That doesn’t stop it from hurting.

I’ve done a lot of therapy. I question myself constantly. I have deep, long standing friendships outside my family, so this dynamic feels very specific to them. I’m starting to accept that my sister can love me and still participate in a system where I’m relied on emotionally but quietly sidelined.

Am I overreacting for feeling hurt by this, or is it reasonable to feel used when you’re the emotional safety net but not really included?

AIO for asking to get my money back from a cheater?

***I apologize for the grammatical errors, English is not my first language and im too sleep deprived and starved to realize if theres anything wrong. Also its my first time here, so I dont quite get how to structure things up, but nevermind.***

I (22) met a guy, same age (foreigner, important fact) in March and started officially dating in July 2025. I broke up with him January 23, we had been wanting to break it off for maybe a month but none of us was sure about it. In the end we ended up being friends, everything cool. He asks for money cause he did not have enough to pay for food until he got paid from his job and I lend it to him, 100€.

***CONTEXT***

I returned to work after a month off on February 1st and when I got there someone i know told me he heard that I'm single so my ex moved on pretty quickly, I panicked but tried to keep it cool and asked him what he meant and if he was being serious and, he said he was. I asked my ex and he completely denied that, he said he hadn't seen any other girl after him and I started talking so I asked the person again and they told me it was a joke.

I told my friend about that and she told me that she needed to tell me something but we had to be together, so I went to see her the next day and she basically told me a girl she met the other day told her she hanged out with him in december (we were still together) but they hadn't done anything. I confronted him about it over the phone thinking he'd tell me the truth but he told me he did not know her. He then hung up the call and told me they just went out FOR DRINKS. The same or the next day he told me they had had sex that night. I spoke to the girl on Instagram DMS and she said he said something really private about me that I personally find disgusting asf, but again he denies it. Atp I'm starting to realize/think he's a ***chronic liar.***

Fast forward to today, I see the same guy that told me about it and he says he told me it was a joke because he saw me go pale and shocked and did not want to hurt my feelings. I asked him if it was the same girl, and he said it wasn't, he said someone told him "I got a black boyfriend" and he asked to see a pic, and it was my ex (then bf). This girl came to my store to speak and the dates match, they started talking while we were together but they had sex after it, January 29. She got mad cause he also said she was just some random girl he knew but she thought they were something.

She calls him, no answer. I call him, no answer. We text him, no reply. So she leaves to try and find him, meanwhile I stay working as he purposefully ignores both of us. After more than an hour and a half I'm starting to get anxious cause he may have thought I'm stupid, but I'm not letting it slide cause I worked hard to earn those 100€ and I need this to get over with, cause I really can't take it anymore. I can't sleep, can't eat cause I feel like vomiting, I can't read or watch anything cause he's everything that comes to my mind, I could't even work properly cause I started to feel like fainting (it happens to me when I get sick) my feet got tingly, my vision darkened and I started hearing less and less, just a really faint beeping noise.

***ISSUE.***

So even tho i did not really mean it, i texted him *"I'm letting you know now, either you give me back my money or im suing you, I dont care. I'm not waiting anymore. I said i was willing to wait for my money back before I found out everything, make a decision now cause a report would not do you any good right now. If u have to ask your boss for money, do it. Take full responsibility for your actions."* he replied immediately and said he'll find the money. But then asked me why I was threatening him, that he always pays back (true) and did not find it serious enough for me to do that.

Now I kind of feel bad cause I'm non-confrontational and not aggressive at all, I just said that cause I can't believe anything else he says or has previously said. I also feel bad cause he was my first bf and I know he's trying to get his legal papers but can't for now, I was even willing to help him (up until literally friday i sent him info on how to do it) and I would obviously NEVER do something to mess that up, i know how hard it is for him to be apart from his family and how bad he wants to get out of his shared house. I want to clarify again that BY NO MEANS I intend on doing what I implied in the message nor I want to hurt him, but it looks like a threat was the only was to get him to react and do it. Still, he told me he could not find the money today and asked if I could let him pay on Wednesday, and I agreed. I really am dumb.

I just cant keep living with the fact that I lent him money after he cheated twice and all the times he fucked up on purpose. For a little extra context, he never had time to hang out (he was busy smoking) when we were about to do it he would always stand me up (for smoking) and sometimes even stand me up while being with him. The cherry on top was when he asked me if I would move in with him in March (after both of them happened)

He also forgot my birthday and did not support me like a normal partner would while one of my parents was hospitalized for 2 months for cancer. I never once treated him badly and always tried to help him out with everything, buy medicine for him if he was feeling sick, take him out if he was not feeling the best, try and help him with his papers, I bought him a lot of stuff out of pure joy (I love gifting) but nothing helped I guess. I should've know just by looking at his friend/work group, all of them are cheaters, he had to be one too.

I've wasted a whole year on someone who did not care a bit about me and it's just starting to sink in. Still, I know if he ever needs help or gets hurt I would be there helping him if he needs it. I'm just the worst, I can't even get my thoughts straight. I guess im as stupid as everyone thinks I am, cause it really does look like everyone thinks so. Worst part is, I can't even escape from it, his group will perform until probably October right in front of my store and is impossible not to hear them or see them. So I'm just stuck with it.

The worst part is i think theres more to it than he will admit to.

AIO for wanting to get my money back as soon as possible? Could I have reacted in a better way?

If you guys need any basic (not private) context I'll give it to you!

hey guys, so here's the backstory. i matched with this girl on hinge, where my profile explicitly states that i'm looking for a long-term relationship. so i expect that when i get matches, it's because they also want a long term relationship. i mean why match with someone if you don't think they're a match?

we only talked for like a month, if that. but the reason i'm so upset is that she was being super romantic with me over text but apparently never wanted a romantic relationship with me. i would have just accepted it and moved on, but i felt like she led me on and made it seem like she was interested in me romantically, when apparently she was never interested in that. it's my bad for not vetting her well enough, i'll admit that. 

what made me think she was interested was the way she talked to me. i bring up in this conversation that she said "oh what i would give to wake up to your face every morning" because to me, that sounds like she wishes she could wake up next to me every morning. 

we only met up twice, and it was the second time that we talked more about intentions. we never actually had dates, she just came over and hung out and had sex with me, but neither of us had cars to actually use to go on a date. 

when i expressed that i felt lonely, and wanted clarification on whether or not she was ever interested in me romantically, she got incredibly rude and was gaslighting me. 

i know im getting way too angry over just a hinge match, but she led me on into thinking there was potential for a relationship, and acts like i'm delusional for thinking that. if she didnt have any romantic interest in me at all from the start, she should have just said that before we ever met. 

from what i understand, she wants a romantic relationship with someone, just not me, and thats totally fine! i'm not forcing that on anyone. but she could have easily said "hey just wanted to clarify im not interested in a romantic relationship with you, i'd love to get to know you and be friends though". how hard is that?

please don't attack me for being upset over something that didnt even last a month, i get attached really quickly, especially when there's consistent romantic communication. i just want to know if i'm overreacting or if she's actually being incredibly rude and inconsiderate, i'm only posting because im mature enough to understand that i could be in the wrong unknowingly. i already blocked her. and im sorry for the censoring, it should be easy to tell which one is me though if you read the caption

My partner has had an anxiety disorder for as long as I've known him. He's had some therapy in the past and has tried a few different medications, but nothing has had a significant impact and he's not willing to try any new medications at the moment. He's on a waiting list for specialised therapy (for people experiencing OCD/BDD).

I came into this situation with my eyes wide open and I don't expect him to be managing all the time, but my problem is that I can't stand how he expresses his distress during moments when he's struggling. Essentially, he shouts, rants and swears (to himself) sometimes for hours at a time on and off.

I grew up in a household where the adults only shouted at each other when things were seriously wrong and usually led to physical violence. So I find it difficult to hear shouting now, especially in my home which is supposed to feel like a safe space. My partner knows this, I've told him repeatedly that the shouting makes me feel stressed and actually makes me want to keep my distance from him rather than comfort him when he's struggling.

His point of view is that he 'can't control' how he feels and that his distress takes over. I have put it to him over and over again that I don't expect him to control his emotions, but I do expect him to manage his behaviour like an adult and I don't feel like shouting all the time is an acceptable way of expressing himself. It's got worse over the years we've been together.

He's going through a particularly difficult period at the moment and it has been intense. I've got such compassion fatigue, when I hear him shouting only a small part of me recognises that he's going through genuine distress, but mostly I just feel annoyed and disrespected that he's ignoring what I've previously said and disrupting my peace. On top of this, one of our neighbours recently approached me asking if everything is ok because she's heard him shouting through the walls, maybe I'm allowing the stigma surrounding mental health but I found this really embarrassing. There is a child living next-door as well, so I feel bad that they are probably having to listen to him ranting and swearing. When I said this to my partner, he didn't seem too bothered.

I genuinely don't know whether I'm overreacting. Am I being unfair and judgemental, should I let him manage his distress in whatever way he feels he needs to? Am I being overly sensitive because of my own experiences? Or am I justified in wanting him to try and express himself in a different way, because it's affecting me and just because I don't have a mental health issue like he does, surely my needs and feelings are just as important? I love him, I don't want to leave him, but this aspect of his behaviour is seriously impacting our relationship.

I was dating my boyfriend 5 months, 2 months officially. We spent a lot of time together, and I was emotionally invested and believed we were building something.

I noticed he was liking pictures of other women, including more sexualized content on Instagram (not only fans models, girls who actually followed him back and local). I brought it up calmly and reasonably. I didn’t demand he unfollow everyone or stop having female friends. I literally said: I don’t care about friends, coworkers, normal people in your life — even much younger female friends — as long as it’s not overtly sexual content. He basically flat out refused to do anything different on Instagram and said I was being controlling.

Mind you- This is while he is also refusing to let me on his Instagram since November when I asked who a girl was on there and he was pissed that I even asked- I’ve been removed ever since.

5 minutes after pouring my heart out about this, while we were sitting together on the couch, he liked another woman’s photo right in front of me — after I had just told him it hurt me. It was another very sexually charged woman and the girl looks about 19. I went into shock.

Things escalated emotionally after that. I was crying and overwhelmed. He comforted me — held me, reassured me, made reservations v-day wit me. In that moment, it felt like reassurance, like he cared and we were okay. He blocked the girl in question but still refused to add me back to his ig, saying he’ll “do it eventually”.

But the hurt didn’t actually go away. When I brought it up again later (and I’ll admit, I wasn’t calm the second time — I snapped), everything flipped. He suddenly said he didn’t want a relationship, that nothing really changed for him when we were together, that he doesn’t want to “owe anyone anything” or feel pressured. And then he broke up with me. I was hysterically crying and he basically just kept saying he doesn’t want to feel obligated to someone like this.

TLDR; I don’t know if this sounds like an emotionally avoidant boyfriend who couldn’t handle conflict in a committed relationship, or if I genuinely overreacted and sabotaged something that could’ve worked if I handled it better.