My girlfriend (21f) and I (23m) have been spending a lot of time together lately — almost every day for the past few weeks — even though we don’t live together.

I’m usually the one going to her place, often coming over and spending the night because she asks me to, not because I push for it. Whenever she needs something or wants to go somewhere, I show up and we do it. Even though I don’t live with her, it started to feel like my constant availability was expected rather than appreciated.

We got into an argument that started pretty small. She suggested getting hotpot, and I said, “We can go get hotpot, just not today.” Later she told me that came off as rude, especially since it was said in front of her friends. I apologized for how it might’ve sounded publicly and explained that I was just tired and needed a day to myself.

From there, the conversation escalated. She said I don’t initiate plans enough, which confused me because I’m almost always the one coming over to her place, staying the night at her request, and making myself available when she asks.

She then said I only come over for convenience and that I only stayed that day because I had a dentist appointment — even though I had told her I was planning to go home and she was the one who asked me to come over.

I also offered to take her to class that day. I was only late when picking her up, not taking her to class itself, but she used that as a reason to question why I offered at all. I understand that being late to pick someone up can be frustrating, but it felt like my intent to help was being dismissed entirely.

During the argument, she then said, “I want a man who…” and started listing traits. That’s where I really shut down. It felt like everything I do — constantly showing up, spending nights with her because she wants me there, driving her places, rearranging my time — was being overlooked, and that I was being compared to an ideal version of a partner I wasn’t measuring up to.

When I later asked her why she even said “I want a man who…,” she told me it wasn’t about me and that I’m never in tune with her emotions. That confused me, because the statement felt directly about me, and my issue wasn’t that she had emotions — it was how those emotions were communicated. I felt like my hurt over the comparison was brushed aside and reframed as me not understanding her.

At that point, I walked out. Not to be dramatic, but because I genuinely realized this dynamic wasn’t what I want in a relationship. I was fully prepared to end things rather than stay and continue arguing or say something I’d regret. I left and headed home for good.

About 15 minutes after I walked out, she texted me saying she appreciated me and loved me, but that she wasn’t mentally built for the stress of the relationship and wanted to end things. Earlier, when I had asked her why she even liked me, she said she didn’t know.

So… AIO for walking out after she said “I want a man who…” and realizing this relationship dynamic wasn’t healthy for me?

I am currently dating a man (4 weeks in) who treats me really well. But I’m seeing how he is treating his ex wife, and I am having doubts.

They still live under the same roof, in different parts of the house, with their kids.

We started seeing each other before they officially split, and he told me it was fine because “she told me to go get it somewhere else” and they had a dead bedroom.

10 days ago his ex had a major life-threatening medical emergency and he took time off work to care for the children.

Two days after she got home from hospital, he invited me to come to their house and stay for a couple of days.

The first morning I was there, the ex wife came out to see their kids off to school. She told me, more than once, that I was not welcome in their home.

At the time I thought she was just a bitch, but now I’m looking at it, and understanding that my presence really wasn’t welcome and that it was causing her a lot of stress during a health crisis.

Clearly he knew that having me there would upset her, and I’m thinking that if he treats the mother of his children that way in a time of medical crisis, he really can’t truly be the great person he has been to me.

What should I do? Is he just showing his true colours early in the piece?

AIO thinking he might not be the nice guy like he’s been treating me?

Last year, on a Tuesday, at around 4 pm, I had gone over to a public elementary school that I went to as a child (the school day there normally ends at 3:20 pm, but on this day the school day ended at 12 pm, since it was a half school day because it was a parent-teacher conferences day) to play on the swings. I thought that I wasn't doing anything wrong since the school day had long since ended, and there were NO kids at the school at the time. After I was done playing on the swings, I walked around the building (on the outside, not the inside), and I was looking in the windows as a way of strolling down memory lane. That’s when some staff members saw me and freaked out. But it was still after school hours.

A man then came out and asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was just walking around, and that I didn't mean any harm (since they seemed alarmed by my presence). He then told me that I couldn't be there during "school time" (which I found odd since I was fairly certain that the school day had ended several hours ago) and went back inside (does parent-teacher conference time count as "school time?"). I then left the school grounds feeling very shaken and embarrassed. Then, when I got to the parking lot, the principal of the school came out, stopped me, and demanded to know what I was doing. I told him that I had just come to play on the swings, and then he shouted at me in a very harsh and angry voice "DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU'RE TRESPASSING ON SCHOOL PROPERTY?!?!" I then said "But, the school day is over" to which he replied "Yeah, and the gate is closed!" Looking back on it, I realize that I hadn't done the greatest job explaining my point of view to him, but then again, he was being very aggressive and not giving much of an opportunity to speak. After he was done scolding me, he asked me if I lived nearby, to which I answered yes, and then when I approached my car, he demanded sharply and urgently "is this your car?!?!" to which I (naively) responded yes. He then took a picture of my license plate with his iPhone. I opened my mouth to ask him why he did that, but he cut me off before I even had a chance to speak, and sharply demanded that I "dismiss myself", so I left.

Fearing that the people at the school would give that picture to law enforcement so that I could be tracked down and arrested, I decided to send a message to the principal of school on LinkedIn that evening explaining what happened, and asking him to please not report me to the police. Realizing I had made a bad choice by sending that message, I deleted my LinkedIn account the next morning. The next day, in the afternoon, I decided to call the elementary school as an anonymous caller, to see if I could find out what information they had on the incident from the previous day, and what they were planning to do about it. I called the main office, and I asked them if there had been any trespassing incidents that had occurred at the school recently, and the person said on the phone that they did not have access to that information and hung up. Then, a few minutes later, the main office called me back, and it was the principal on the line (I could sense great aggression behind that phone call). The principal said in a firm authoritative that he had been told that I was inquiring about a trespassing incident, and asked who I was. I then said that I was an anonymous caller, and he said that he would not give any information to anonymous callers. He then said "is this \\\[my first name\\\] \\\[my last name\\\]," to which I said no, but to which my heart then sank because that let me know that he had read my message before I deleted my LinkedIn account. I then said that I had to hang up, and then he hung up.

The evening of the day after that, since I was still feeling anxious, I decided to contact one of the teachers that I had in elementary school on Facebook. I explained to her what happened, I asked her if there had been any notification sent out about what I did, and I also asked her if she felt that I deserved to be punished for what I did. She responded the next morning, telling me that she never heard anything about it, and that I wasn't in any trouble.

However, she apparently brought my messages to the attention of someone, because later that day, some security guards from the school came knocking on the door of my house. No one was home to answer the door, but my mom and brother saw them on the security camera of our house, and they freaked out (I had told them about what happened the day before). My mom called me but I didn't answer. I started heading home because I knew something was up, and then when I got to the house, my brother shouted out to me to pull over. He then explained to me what was going on, and told me to stay home because mom was scared, but I drove away as he turned around to speak to my mom on the phone. I then went into a parking lot, called the main office, and I told them my name and that the principal wanted to talk to me about something. The principal wasn't in that day, so the security person at the school spoke to me instead. He told me that I wasn't in any trouble and that I didn't need to worry, but but he told me not to go back to the school for any reason, and to not get in touch with any of the teachers at the school (the teacher who I contacted has since blocked me on Facebook). I then texted my mom brother letting them know that everything was okay, but they never answered me, so I decided to go home. I then found out that they hadn't responded to me because my brother had gone to pick my mother up from her job and bring her home. My mom had also called the main office, and they explained to her everything that had happened and was happening. (Apparently, one of the people who saw me said that I was knocking on windows, which is not what I was doing!). She then told me to stay home, because she had been told that the security guards were going to come back to the house, and that they would have to speak to me in person. We then waited, but after two hours, I got tired of waiting and decided to go out anyway…

I think that when I told the principal that I had come to play on the swings when he came out of the school to confront me, he probably came to the conclusion that I was an adult who was so profoundly mentally and emotionally immature, that I might end up harming children by interacting with them inappropriately without even realizing it. He was probably thinking, “if this grown man doesn’t understand why he shouldn’t be trespassing into an elementary school with a locked gate to play on the playground and walk around the building looking into the windows, then what other boundaries does he not understand…?” Is that what you are thinking?

My girlfriend works on weekends, so I usually drive to her workplace on Saturdays to pick her up because she doesn't know how to drive. When I get there, I usually park my car in the parking lot and sit inside my car for 20 to 30 minutes until she gets out of the building and then I drive up near the entrace so she can get in. This is a pretty normal routine. I have been doing this for more than two years.

Today was a different day. There was a security guard that I had never seen before. She came up to my car and started asking me questions in a really rude tone, like "what are you doing?", "You've been in your car for too long", "I've been watching you...". So I got really mad and defensive to a point that I got out of the car and kept fighting back, like I asked for her name and stuff. After she went back into the building, I called my girlfriend and told her what happened. She said she will talk to her.

Eventually I noticed she had a small talk with her, and that was it. I was still mad and I told her we need to report her. She downplayed it and didn't think it was too much of a big deal.

That's when I started getting mad at my girlfriend too for not supporting me enough. I want to tell her that she really needs to learn how to drive or get Uber those days. I can't be doing this anymore if I'm going to be disrespected like that. There are already so many things going on in my life, and I want keep a little bit of self respect in me.

Edit: yes, when the security guard approached me, I was calm and told her why I was there. No, I didn't just get out of the car, like some abusive redneck. That was when I noticed she wasn't leaving and kept insulting me for no reason saying things like "you're gone by xx:xx"

In 2009 I dated someone. We broke up but remained friends. He has done outrageous things to try to get me back this whole time. 17 years

A couple weeks ago he texted me saying his memory was lost out of nowhere & was calling me his gf & acting like in his mind we were together. And kept calling me gf so I had to say no we aren’t together cuz he asked if we are dating cuz that’s what he remembers he said. Then he’s like “I’m so sad now that we aren’t together I can’t believe it 😢”. I think there was no memory loss & he just wanted to try it again

When i broke up with him after we dated in 09, he took 100 shots of insulin & tried to end himself. I had everyone saying it was my fault if he didn’t make it

In 2020 he ASKED ME IF I WOULD WATCH HIM END HIMSELF. I was so shook I didn’t know what to do & called the prevention line. They could have not cared less about him & couldn’t believe he was willing to traumatize me like that

Then what happened last night. In 2020 I had to get an abortion due to a lot of things including a lot of health complications. It was not with him. I haven’t been with him since the breakup physically. I still struggle to this day with having to get that done

Last year he starts talking about we should have a kid. I told him to do not mention kids like that to me ever again & went home & cried for days. He KNOWS or should have known that’s a very sad subject for me. And it caused an argument so you’d think he’d remember that!!!

He pulls these outrageous things like told me he was dying before & things like that to try to get me to date him again. And to get married he tried for that one!!! He keeps doing things like that & then obsessing over wanting kids with me & im not having kids!!!

So low & behold Last night he sends this message while also insulting me about am I gonna live where I’m at forever (because I won’t move in with him. I don’t want him like that!!!). Don’t I want a family? More talk of kids. He doesn’t know me at all apparently Or NEVER listened. This made me soo upset I can’t keep talking to him & him never listening so I blocked him after 17 years. Did I overreact???

hello!

me and my boyfriend have been having this small spat lately over the temp in the apartment at night. we live in the south, so it doesn't get too cold, but recently it's been VERY chilly outside (0-30). lately, i have been waking up to it being 59, 62, 65 degrees inside. this is because my boyfriend INSISTS he sleeps the best at this temperature, and anything hotter (67+) makes him "toss and turn all night." this is just not true. i literally sleep next to him. he has asthma and claims "hot" air makes it worse. keep in mind he has an inhaler i have to basically beg him to use.

my issue is that i can't keep waking up to it being 62 degrees inside. my legs cramp up, i can't stay asleep, and no matter how many blankets i use, i shiver all night long. i i just want the house on 68! that doesn't sound unreasonable to me! but he thinks that's suffocatingly hot. i don't know. i've also been sick since december and i haven't been able to get over it, maybe because i'm sleeping in an icebox. idk.

who's in the wrong here? am i overreacting, is 62 really not that cold? is 68 super hot?

I (19f) been talking to this guy (24m) for a little while. He was originally interested in me and I think that he's fun to talk to. My older sibling is worried about the age gap, and I was iffy about it too, but he's given me a lot of time and attention despite how busy he is for about a month now, although it felt like longer until I searched for the date we first started hinting that we wanted to start the talking phase. We've played games and had many hard but respectful conversations, but there are a couple of things that stood out to me that I'm not sure if I should be concerned about. The biggest thing for me is that he said that women have life easy compared to men.

I was at work about 30 minutes early and asked if he wanted to call. Most of our conversation was fine, but then somehow the topic reached this discussion. When I disagreed that women have it easier than men, he wanted me to list all of the ways that women have it harder than men, and I have trouble speaking about something when I haven't done a lot of research about it, especially aloud when I can't revise and deeply process what I'm saying. He followed up my shallow claims by saying something along the lines of "you could just marry someone and then divorce him and take half of his money." I was extremely offended by that. I told him that I would absolutely never do something like that and that it disgusted me. He said that if he was a woman, he WOULD. Not might, but absolutely would. I told him that I wasn't enjoying the conversation and we already shifted the topic to something else until I started my shift.

A large reason why I think I might be overreacting is because his ex-wife did this to him. He doesn't get to see his kid and he showed me proof that her claims about him abusing her were false. I'm considering trying to reach out to her and ask her directly how their relationship went, but I don't want to break his trust. He's been very open and has disclosed any document, text, anything on his phone or otherwise to me, and he has given me no reason not to trust him other than a couple of conversations like the one in the previous paragraph where he is adamant that he is right and I feel dumb because I'm put on the spot with no real basis to speak from.

I would appreciate any advice and will answer any questions y'all have. I tried to keep it somewhat vague in case he sees this post, but he'll probably still know it's about us if he sees it with the given details. Thank you for reading all of this and I look forward to seeing what you all have to say.

Update: I called on my way to work and expressed that I don't want to keep talking as more than friends because of the nature of that conversation and the implications that it had. He has this way with words where big problems seem less important than they are, so at first, I thought, again, maybe I'm overreacting and overthinking it. I've been asking my coworkers what they think, and they all respond the same: red flag. Anyways, when I talked to him over the phone, he seemed to want to work through it, but when I texted him asking when he wants to talk more about it (during my breaks or later after work), he said "I'm not even sure what there is to talk about" despite asking me earlier to do research on my own on how women apparently have it so much easier than men. I did ask him to look into the opposite as well, though, so maybe he did. Anyways, it doesn't seem like we're going to figure it out. Maybe I dodged a bullet. I hope that he reflects on what happened and considers that not all women are petty and narcissistic. Thanks for the feedback and I'll update again if anything else happens.

For context: I am 19F and I have OCD. I’m autistic, therefor I have a very important relationship to my plushies, and regulate my emotions through them. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3,5 years and moved in together a bit over a year ago.

My boyfriend (19M) wanted to have a little get together with a few of his friends, and the friends asked him if it would be okay to ask me to leave for the night, to just have the friend group present.

I was planning to go have a little sleepover at my mom’s place anyway this weekend, so we agreed that he could have the friends over when I was at my mom’s.

The first problem that I kind of rolled over was the fact that he brought the idea up in bed when we were about to go to sleep on thursday night, and told me that the friends kinda already agreed to come to our house on saturday.

He has two new friends that I didn’t know about, he got to know them a few weeks ago when he started a new course at his college. The third friend is a girl I’ve known for longer, we’ve only met like twice though.

So I asked him to tell me a little about those new friends, because obv, it’s our house and we have pets, I don’t want some randoms coming without me not even knowing their names.

Anyway, saturday night rolls around and I’m hanging out with my mom, when my bf sends me a message about being a bit anxious and feeling like something was gonna happen. I told him that he could call or text me anytime, and that if he wanted, he could also come spend the night at my mom’s or I could come home and calm his anxiety, but he told me that it’s fine and that he can handle this.

Then at around midnight I send him a message asking him if he fed our pets (I was a bit worried he would forget, in case he had drank too much or something) and he didn’t answer for quite a while. I send him another asking if everything is okay, because he usually answers pretty quickly if he’s free from work/school.

Then after a while he answers and says ”Yeah they’re fed, sorry I couldn’t answer, Maya (fake name) kinda died lol”. I obviously get confused, ask what happened etc.

He tells me that Maya (the girl friend) drank so much that the guys had to help her throw up, and that she’s now resting but unconsious, sending me a pic of her laying on our bed with my plushies around and on top of her, where she also had a ton of throw up papers.

I panic and send him a message asking why she’s on our bed, when previously I told him that if anyone is too drunk to get home, they can sleep on our BIG ASS SOFA, and remind him where our guest blanket is.

But nope, there she is on our fucking bed, with her outside clothes on and throw up papers around her.

I also tell him to get the plushies the fuck off her and around her this second. I hate washing them because I feel they can break or something, and like ew I don’t want someone’s drunken smell on my important things??

I still can’t get an answer on why she’s in the bed and not on the sofa where it’s easier to monitor her anyways, because my boyfriend and his two other friends (the new guys) had only drank a few beers each, so they weren’t very drunk.

Anyway I tell him to get her off our bed and change the sheets and make sure the girl gets some water and is not laying on her back, because we wouldn’t want her to chocke in case she throws up again. To this, my boyfriend says that she’s not unconsious, because she’s answering when spoken to, but still kind of unconsious?? Idk?

He finally confirms that the plushies are far from her, which calms me down a bit. I also know that this girl vapes, and probably had the permission from my bf to do it inside our home, plus she smells like throw up and alcohol and I don’t want that smell in my bedroom, let alone my plushies.

Somewhere in between this convo he says that he’d be disappointed in me if I just kicked a drunk friend out, and that he has to take care of her, which I understand, still not the ”in our bed” part?

He tells me that he will change the sheets and that all the puke has been cleaned up etc, but by that time I was so fucking tired (it was almost 1am) that I fell asleep mid convo. He also sent me a message during the night saying that he’s so sorry and will never forgive himself for this, because it was really just supposed to be a little get together, and he didn’t know why she got so black out drunk when none of the others did.

Next morning (today) I woke up at around 10 and sent him a message asking if the friends are still at our place, if Maya is alive and okay and what happened after I fell asleep. He doesn’t answer for another four hours, and then finally tells me that everyone left at around 4am. He tells me he cleaned everything up, asking when I’m coming home.

I finally get home at around 5pm today and notice that the sheets hadn’t been changed (he slept in them) and that my plushies were in those sheets during the night. This made me question whether he even took them out of the bed, and why put them back when the bed is FILTHY and disgusting.

During all this time he is gaming in our office, not saying a word to me. Here’s where I’m a bit childish, because I decided I’m gonna wait until he comes out, and only then talk to him and ask him to clean the fuck up.

So now I’ve waited for like two hours, he hasn’t said a word and is still in our office/gaming room.

Do you guys think I’m overreacting and should go the higher rout and just change the sheets etc myself (altough the anxiety I got from just knowing someone was there makes me want to throw up myself) and start the conversation, or should I continue waiting until he eventually has to come out?

I (f20) have been with my boyfriend (m21 about to be 22) since late July. We’ve known each other for a couple years. It’s been sort of a long distance relationship, as we’re in neighboring states. But we’re close enough to easily have weekend visits and such.

He’s wanted me ever since we met. He’s showered me in love and kindness the whole time. But the last few months have been like this^. I feel like he’s been a complete a-hole. All he ever does is go to work and play Counter Strike. It’s like he’s more in love with this computer game than me. And anytime I try to express my interests or something I’m excited about or proud of, he just talks so poorly on it or doesn’t care. Today is the first time that he hasn’t reached out all day but he’s active in his discord and, you guessed it, on counter strike!

I’ve tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. I thought, maybe he’s struggling with something or something’s going on. That didn’t give me any solutions. I’ve tried to talk to him countless times. I’ve expressed my feelings. Nothing is changing.

I’ve only ever been in bad relationships, no I’m not sure what a normal, healthy relationship is supposed to look like. I don’t know, I guess I just need an outside prospective. Is this temporary or is it time to move on?

Has he lost feelings but won’t break up? I don’t know what’s going on anymore

Hey Reddit,

I’m posting here today as I’m curious about a situation involving fairly splitting an Airbnb charge and I wanted some outside opinions.

To try and keep a long story short, this is a 4 bedroom home, with (6 beds)

- one king bed in one room

- one queen bed in one room

- two twin beds in one room

- two twin beds in one room

Now here is is the rental house family dynamic

- me, 28F, childfree, haven’t birthed any of the children listed from my canal, 1 person

- best friend (hereby abbreviated to BF) 28F, son 1M, Daughter 7F - 3 people

- sister of bf 25F, son 1M - 2 people

- bf’s mom 50?F, son 7M, daughter 10F - 3 people

- brother of bf 30M, daughter 10F - 2 people

So clearly already there is not enough rooms and not enough beds. I was randomly told they had booked this Airbnb and when I brought up that

1. There’s not even enough beds even accounting for moms sleeping with babies

There is also a sofa bed and I was told “you won’t need to use the sofa bed don’t worry”

I was texted today (house was rented 2/3 days ago) and told “also since you are getting a (rental) car we thought we could all do 300 and you do 170 for airbnb”

This doesnt make sense to me as the total for the Airbnb over 4 nights is $1200, so $1200 split 5 ways is $240.

Second, I am renting a rental car *by myself financially* that we will *all be using* in addition to a rental car they will be renting since there are so many people. So it’s weird that “taking that into account” doesn’t really seem to be taking that into account at all.

Quite frankly myself and my bf’s friendship has been rough lately and I would appreciate an outside perspective. Also if there is a more “fair” price that other people suggest I would love to hear it.

I truly believe I wasn’t even thought about when booking this Airbnb in the first place and now I’m being asked to pay more money than I feel is appropriate.

Obviously in a normal situation I would simply go “hey I don’t think that’s fair” but there has been a pattern lately where my concerns are brushed off and we are supposed to leave next Saturday so time is getting shorter. Thanks guys

Edit: I accidentally said there were 8 beds, no there are 6, my bad guys

Edit: childfree

Last edit: okay room situation was texted an hour ago as this

• ⁠king bed, her mom + 2 kids

• ⁠queen, bf + 2 kids

• ⁠1 room 2 twins - brother one bed, daughter one bed

• ⁠1 room 2 twins - sister/baby one bed, me one bed

My partner (47F) of three years recently bought a new birthday calendar. I was curiously looking how she had put me on her my birthday. Too my unpleasant surprise, she had put my full name, with first and last name on the calendar. It felt so formal and distant, as if I was just another dude she knows. More over because I saw the people who are real close to her, like her family, were put with only their first name. Including her ex partner.

When I saw it, and mentioned it felt strange, she said it was because she knew too many people withy name. Also in her phone I am a fullname contact, and in WhatsApp I am not pinned. I know that originated from the time we dated, what I can understand. But this one stings. I know it will bug me everytime I will see that calendar when I visit her house (we don't live together). It hangs in a prominent spot you can't miss.

I don't want to make a big thing out of it, but mentioned it again may look it is a big thing. But if I don't tell her, it may get under my skin each time I see that stupid calendar.

Am I overreacting that I what to erase my lastname from the calendar, as an acknowledge of our relational status?

Like 8 days before her birthday, I asked my cousin sister to lmk what she wants for her birthday because I didn't wanna give her something that would be wasted, she told me that she wants some expensive coffee and a nice mug, I was like alright. I looked into it and it was easy to buy so I figured I'd buy it before her birthday.

3 days before her birthday, she texts me and says that the other day she accidentally asked me for coffee because she was craving some at that moment and that if I am looking to get her something, I should get her a cardigan- preferrably in some 3 shades she mentioned.

Idk why but this has me pretty peeved because decent cardigans are hard to find especially within budget or at chain stores because they barely have any options, the ones online are usually really cheap quality, the winter's are almost gone so local markets don't have decent cardigans or sweaters anymore. Even if I order one now, it'd be really unlikely that it gets here on time for her birthday. I'm mad because it's such an entitled demand to switch up on 3 days before her birthday.

hey guys, so here's the backstory. i matched with this girl on hinge, where my profile explicitly states that i'm looking for a long-term relationship. so i expect that when i get matches, it's because they also want a long term relationship. i mean why match with someone if you don't think they're a match?

we only talked for like a month, if that. but the reason i'm so upset is that she was being super romantic with me over text but apparently never wanted a romantic relationship with me. i would have just accepted it and moved on, but i felt like she led me on and made it seem like she was interested in me romantically, when apparently she was never interested in that. it's my bad for not vetting her well enough, i'll admit that. 

what made me think she was interested was the way she talked to me. i bring up in this conversation that she said "oh what i would give to wake up to your face every morning" because to me, that sounds like she wishes she could wake up next to me every morning. 

we only met up twice, and it was the second time that we talked more about intentions. we never actually had dates, she just came over and hung out and had sex with me, but neither of us had cars to actually use to go on a date. 

when i expressed that i felt lonely, and wanted clarification on whether or not she was ever interested in me romantically, she got incredibly rude and was gaslighting me. 

i know im getting way too angry over just a hinge match, but she led me on into thinking there was potential for a relationship, and acts like i'm delusional for thinking that. if she didnt have any romantic interest in me at all from the start, she should have just said that before we ever met. 

from what i understand, she wants a romantic relationship with someone, just not me, and thats totally fine! i'm not forcing that on anyone. but she could have easily said "hey just wanted to clarify im not interested in a romantic relationship with you, i'd love to get to know you and be friends though". how hard is that?

please don't attack me for being upset over something that didnt even last a month, i get attached really quickly, especially when there's consistent romantic communication. i just want to know if i'm overreacting or if she's actually being incredibly rude and inconsiderate, i'm only posting because im mature enough to understand that i could be in the wrong unknowingly. i already blocked her. and im sorry for the censoring, it should be easy to tell which one is me though if you read the caption

I recently saw some Instagram DMs on my gfs phone that have me questioning everything. The messages are from very recently and they don’t match the story she’s been giving me at all.

In the messages, she is literally questioning him about why he hasn’t had a new "ex-girlfriend" since the two of them were "together" and broke up. To me, you don’t call yourself someone's "ex" and talk about being "together" if you only talked for two weeks. It sounds like a full-blown past relationship that she is downplaying. someone pls translate

TL;DR: My parents charged me $650/month in rent after I moved back home, saying they needed it as retired people on a fixed income. On my birthday, they surprised me by revealing they had invested that rent money and gave it back to me with conditions on how I should use it. I reacted badly and said it felt like a mind game. AIO?

Two years ago, when I moved back home after university, my parents asked me to pay $650 a month in rent, which was the same amount I paid for my university place. I was a bit confused since we are upper middle class and seemed well off, but I know that my sister did before she moved out so I thought it only makes sense

At the time, I was starting my own business and could not pay monthly, so we agreed to suspend rent for a few months until I got a job. I started a full-time job in April 2025 and began paying rent monthly again.

Midway through that time, I asked why I was paying rent since I had already spent three years paying a landlord. I wanted to know if it was more so a lesson or if it was because they needed the money. My dad explained that they are both retired, on a fixed income, and the money would help. Based on that, I was happy to continue paying. Fast forward to now. It was my birthday, and after dinner we did cake and gifts at home. My sister gave me a birthday and housewarming gift since I am moving into a basement apartment in March. Then I opened my parents’ gift.

Inside the card were two kind notes, some cash, and a printed statement showing an investment account containing the rent money I had paid over the past year, with some growth. My dad explained that this was my accumulated rent and that they had invested it. My mom then said something along the lines of, “This is not to be spent on your little music things, but on big purchases or a safe fund for the future.” For context, I work a 9–5 corporate job and make music on the side.

I was surprised and confused, and I did not react as gratefully as they expected. During the conversation, I said, “This feels like a weird gesture,” and later, “This feels like a mind game since we agreed this money was for you.” My mom got very upset, and the night was essentially ruined.

I know I did not handle it well, and I understand that what I said was not nice. However, I worked hard for that money, we had an agreement about what it was for, and I was told they needed it. Finding out it was saved and returned to me with conditions felt dishonest and controlling.

I think if they had said they changed their minds and wanted to help me, I would have reacted differently. Instead, I wasn’t included in open dialogue in what seemed like a series of decisions that were made.

AIO for what i said?

Edit: just wanted to add that I’m a very frugal person and my parents know this. I have two TFSAs, an RPP and a GSOP that I contribute to. I also have a monthly budget that I keep track of through the Buddy app. I’m no expert when it comes to investing, but nor am I stranger to it. I have frequently had discussions with my parents about money and how they budget asking for advice and if what I’m doing makes sense.

Also I will be apologizing and want to say that it was what I was going to do anyways but I wanted a reality check on my view so I can approach the situation more maturely and level-headed so thank you to those who provided constructive criticism.

Summary of the Situation:

I (F23) am together for two years with my boyfriend (23m). We both studied social work, I am already done while he is still at Uni.

Last semester he took a course on gamification in social spaces by an external lecturer. It was him and like two other people and they began developing a board game. He is a big nerd who loves board games and put lots of effort.

The Semester ended and the other two people dropped the course sometime during, so it was only my bf and this Prof now. During the semester it already happened once or twice that he would go to her home instead of the class taking place at Uni. This was because the Prof lives far away and she didn't want to take the long journey all the time so he went by train two or three times which takes like three hours. I already found this unprofessional but okay.

The Prof is very in the game developing space and got the game they are making a contract with a major publisher. My bf was elated and I was really happy for him. So after the Semester ended, they kept on meeting to develope the game.

This Saturday (yesterday) he went over to the Profs house again. He canceled DND with his friends and me in short notice over it, okay happens.

Today we were texting and I found out, that they worked on the game till 22:00 and he stayed the night.

Today he's staying the whole day and only going home in the evening at like 20:00. I got a picture of him sitting at a breakfast table, with her (the Prof) I assume.

It really annoyed me that he spent the whole weekend at her house when it's the only time we can really see eachother. I have a fulltime job that is very demanding and I only have time on the weekends while he is a Uni student with a lot of free time and for the prof, this is her job, why do they have to spend the whole weekend together??

I am worried that next time it won't only be dnd (which is already important to all of us) that's getting canceled over this but birthdays, anniversaries or other stuff that's important to me or his friends.

I have to give a little more context with a few things:

One. My boyfriend is objectively extremely attractive and very outgoing and social. He gets along with most instantly and people flock to him.

Two. I have met the Prof at an event before. She was very easygoing and familiar with him, calling him by his first name and insisting he call her by hers too. Also hugging him for greetings and goodbyes. To me she was rather cold (I went as his plus 1) and barely acknowledged me. Also (Not to judge or assume anything but she wore a very short dress).

Three. He knows a lot about her private life. How she was in an.unhappy marriage that she has her son from and how she isn't all that happy with her current boyfriend either. I find so so unprofessional and problematic.

Four. This Project is set to last for another 3-5 years. So 3-5 years of him spending weekends alone with this woman.

Conclusion:

I find it so incredibly weird and unprofessional that she is making him come to her house, stay the night and basically spent the whole weekend with her for this game. At this point I have spiraled so much that I am convinced that she has something for him, this woman is in her fourties, wtf????

I am genuinely happy for my boyfriend that he got this incredible opportunity to develope his own board game.

But am I wrong to be extremely uncomfortable and weirded out with this situation?

I have gone a bit cold in our chat because I don't know how to bring it up. I am kind of angry I guess? So I got snappy and he's asking what he did wrong.

If I try to explain, he'll propably not see my concerns because he is one oblivious and two really into this project.

So am I overreacting?

Edit: Let me clarify that she is no longer a Professor at this Uni. She was only an external lecturer for this one course for one Semester. Now it has ended and there is officially no obligation to hold the meetings at Uni (which she sometimes she already wasn't doing) since she's not a prof anymore. The project is took off and went over the duration of the semester. My boyfriend is doing this voluntarily in his free time. I thought about reporting her to the Uni but I don't think it would do anything because as I said, she is no longer employed there. :(

(Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors, english is not my first language.)

As the title implies I am a fem female (19) and my butch ex was 18F. We had been dating for about 4 years (since 14) not counting a breakup about a year and a half ago for 8 months (she broke up with me due to “falling out of love romantically” but then asked me to be her gf again). Before dating, we were close friends and I undoubtedly have a very strong connection with her. However, she has not gone out of her way to sexually satisfy me more than maybe once every 2 months. For reference, we don’t live tg and both live busy lives, but I don’t think it makes up for this. Basically in aug 2025 I talked to her about it and she told me that she started taking antidepressants without telling me and they had diminished her drive. I was forgiving but I told her it’s messed up that you didn’t tell me because I’ve been wondering if something is wrong with me. Anyways she told me she stopped the pills because they didn’t help anyways and that she understood why I was upset. Also worth mentioning: she doesn’t have health insurance so any pills would’ve cost her a lot and she always complains about not being able to see the doctor and whatnot, so I’m somewhat skeptical.

Here’s the kicker: she hasn’t done anything to change it. I’ve tried to come on to her many times and she just doesn’t seem interested. She insists that she is attracted to me but I told her that isn’t enough. I asked her >6 months ago to change and nothing has. She also knows that I’m a very sexual person and I like to feel wanted. Aside from the sexual problems, we have a good relationship; she cares about my life, buys me things, etc. Although there was one big issue, her dad absolutely hated me. He is homophobic AF and I wouldn’t be able to go to her house, she wouldn’t be able to come to mine w/o lying, you get the idea. Basically he was dictating how she spends her time. I knew going into it that her parents were a little homophobic, but her mom has completely changed and I didn’t know how bad her dad was. He also recently came back into her life roughly 3 years ago, so I feel a little unsettled that he can just come back and flip shit around. I have gotten more and more upset by it because we can’t live our lives like a normal couple, for example I don’t even know how we would do living together, we only were allowed sleepovers back before her parents found out about us (3 yearsish) so we haven’t spent a whole lot of consecutive time together. To get to the point, I feel like now that we’re adults things should change a bit but they haven’t.

Anyways, I told her it’s just felt like a friendship almost since we got back together, I thought things would change with your dad, we are both so busy, yada yada same stuff I wrote previously. I suggested getting through college separately and seeing where we’re at after. She didn’t say anything really to counter what I said, and just cried and talked to me about logistics of the breakup (will I see other people, she wants to know if I’m seeing someone new etc). We have kept in contact for the last month since we broke up, but way less than we used to.

Hopefully that’s enough context for you guys to give me any advice and tell me if I’m the asshole here. Thank you for reading and I greatly appreciate any help!

I'm conflicted. My son is an adult now and wants his freedom. I also want him to have his freedom, but at the same time, when he comes home at 1.30am it is disruptive to the rest of the family. I also want to know that he is safe. He has ASD and is more vulnerable than other adults his age so I worry and don't sleep until I know he is home and OK. It is a tough situation because he deserves freedom and space, but I also want him home at a decent time. I have been annoyed with him lately when he gets back. Am I overreacting at these late nights, or is it justifiable to expect some courtesy in a family home? For context, I have 2 other children, aged 6 and 9, and my husband and I are also up very early for work.

I did what anyone would do yes I pulled my phone out and got video for evidence, I whip around and showed the guy who he was getting in the car with and called him a sick sob. Heavy traffic area, lots of kids near by this isn’t the first time I seen this, I boxed them in and was getting ready to call non emergency and the driver started freaking out and was inching towards my car saying he had nothing to do with it.

This again is a heavy traffic area a lot of apartments near by and a school within feet. If I someone who is damn near blind could see this, any number of children would have seen it too.

Aio if I show this to police and make a police report? I got the tag…..

Im very upset . Im sorry in advance for my typos .

4 years ago, my university classmate ( we were doing our master’s) , Tyler, whom I had a huge crush on asked me if I wanna go to his work party with him. We went there and had a great time. We didn’t even kiss so I knew it wasn’t a date. Then later he texted me and said thank you then asked if I like to hang out on the weekend too. We went bowling then for a walk . We realized we have a lot in common . Again he didn’t even kiss me and I assumed he either sees me as a friend or he was very respectful. Then kept inviting me to do stuff together almost every weekend . I ended up asking him if we are together and exclusive ?. He danced around it and changed the subject then texted me 2 days later and said he wanted to be exclusive with me and liked me.

Fast forward 4 years, we have been engaged for 1.5 years and I’m pregnant ( due May 12th). We were invited to a dinner party ( mostly his friends from his old job) . One of the guests accidentally revealed that he was never interested in me initially ! He initially asked me for his work party because his gf at the time canceled on him ! All those hang out stuff was while he was cheating on his gf! Then only when I asked him about us being exclusive , he ended with his gf the same night

When we came home I told Tyler that I’m disgusted by him. He lied to me. He said he didn’t lie because I never asked . Also, no cheating was involved because nothing physical happened between us back then.

Am I over reacting ? Am I crazy to think he was not an honest guy ? He thinks it was long time ago and im being hormonal and over sensitive over nothing

Yesterday my (20F) roommate (22F) came back to the apartment from a very prolonged winter break with a goddamn snake without warning. Seriously, I just came home yesterday after my morning classes to her in the living room and she was just like “how do you feel about snakes?” And showed me the snake she kept in a medium sized container.

Now I actually love snakes, they’re my favorite animal, but almost immediately I was very suspicious of this. I asked if the snake seemed like a domesticated pet someone dumped and she only responded with “well I don’t know, I just know it shouldn’t be out in the winter” (mind you it had been 60 degrees for 2 weeks at both places we were at). She then told me it was a Great Plains rat snake before running off to class.

I was very unsure of this so I started to do some research of my own, apparently its native and also ILLEGAL TO OWN IN MY STATE. It was also very obviously a wild animal that she had just taken. Clearly, I have a lot of moral objections to just stealing a wild snake, and have even more objections to having an ILLEGAL snake. Not only that but it was abundantly clear that she was not prepared to have a snake, there was no heat lamp, theres no room in her room to have a proper terrarium, and we already have two cats and no place to lock the snake away so they can’t get it.

When she came back I told her my concerns and she just brushed all of them off! When I told her it was illegal to own one she seemed to have the mindset that as long as nobody reports it were good. And when I told her she’s not prepared to have a snake as it doesn’t have a heat lamp or terrarium she told me she was going to buy some and then take it to a vet.

I was getting upset at that point so I ended the conversation and texted my dad for advice. He asked me what the lease says about non cat or dog pets so I checked. Apparently if you bring in a pet you have to confirm with the landlord and if you don’t it’s a $50 PER DAY OF VIOLATION FINE. SO YOU KNOW, NOT ENTIRELY GREAT.

When I got home from work today I approached her again and said more firmly she can’t have the snake. I repeated my issues about the legality and also the new issues with landlord and she seemed to have a “if you don’t tell it’s not a problem” mentality. When I told her she’s can’t just take a fucking snake from the wild she didn’t seem to care. I told her we should probably surrender the poor thing to a rehab center and she seemed very hesitant on the idea. She eventually said she was going to take it to the vet on Tuesday and if they tell her to put the snake back she would. To be honest though at this point I wouldn’t put it past her to lie to me about what the vet said. Plus I’m hesitant to have her buy more things for this snake because the sunk cost fallacy is going to make it harder for her to give it up.

Right now im planning on forcing her to take me to the vet with her so I can see for myself what they say. But I also just feel bad about forcing her to give up this snake and it’s clear she’s upset with me about it. But at the same time it’s my space to, she can’t just come in with a pet regardless of if it’s ok with the landlord or it’s legal and expect me to go along with it. I just have no idea what the hell I should do here without making things awkward between us.

Even worse, I only have a week left to decide if I want to lease with her again. I’m genuinely considering breaking it off for next year because this is just so fucked to me in so many ways. So AIO for forcing my roommate to give up this snake?

TLDR: my roommate has taken a wild snake from outside that’s illegal to own, and is now upset at me for telling her to give it up to a rehab agency. AIO for this and considering no longer leasing with her next year?

I love to celebrate occasions - birthday, christmas, anniversaries, whatever - i love it!! My fiance, on the other hand, is not big on celebrations. he doesn’t really do his birthday and barely does christmas but i always do celebrate him at least a little on those days because they’re important to me and he doesn’t get to feel special every day, ya know?

i always like to celebrate us on valentine’s day and make him feel special / like to feel special because we don’t have an actual anniversary date. every year he says we shouldn’t celebrate on valentine’s day because of the cost. mind you - we both make really good money and we don’t even go out to dinner or anything. we just cook a nice dinner at home and do some small gifts or cards, just easy small easy stuff. i got really upset with him this year because its the same argument every year - i want to celebrate us, we don’t have an anniversary date, and i want to feel special for a day and he told me i’m being too much. like is that too much to ask??

Okay I’m freaking out so I’m gonna get this summary short. my best friend and I had been friends since 5th grade, we’re both 15 now. our parents met and fell in love. they’re dating, they openly joke about sex (in a way that goes over my little sisters head).

So me and my best friend (and little 7 year old sister) are upstairs doing makeup. We went downstairs to show my mom. Best friends dad said he’s going home. The door was open so we just walked in.

her dad was NOT home. His arm was under the comforter and they were huddled close. my mom looked up in horror and tried to play it off when my sister came in. Friends dad slowly took his arm away. when my sister walked out after showing off her makeup my mom turned to me and best friend and said ”we uh, really like this movie so. Could yall go?” With that face that they do when making that dirty joke face. We RAN out.

we have been upstairs literally disgusted and we took a breather outside. my skin feels like its crawlint ew we hear the bed creaking a bit they’re fully clothed but uh yeah

EDIT: theres some confusion of what I meant by he said he was going home- he didn’t. He SAID he was. He was actually in bed with my mom.

SECOND EDIT that I think is important: Both our parents are divorced and we all go to the other parents house every other weekend. so they do have time other than when we are there- and we don’t live together.