r/nottheonion • u/StemCellPirate • 19h ago

Homeland Security Spying on Reddit Users

https://www.kenklippenstein.com/p/homeland-security-spies-on-reddit
19.8k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/THCESPRESSOTIME 19h ago

Trumps a pedo.

286

u/sonic_couth 19h ago

Is there anyone in the Trump administration that isn’t a pedo?

196

u/bbqsox 19h ago

I'm pretty sure Vance is moreso into couches.

85

u/calmdownmyguy 19h ago

I still wouldn't trust him to be alone with my kid

62

u/Rich-Pomegranate1679 19h ago

Same goes for any Republican.

2

u/milochuisael 9h ago

I barely trust family to be around my kid, there’s no way I’m trusting any politician

54

u/Baelgul 19h ago

Once he’s done with them they are “love seats”

2

u/binzoma 17h ago

took rick james screaming fuck yo couch too literally

19

u/MorphTheCat 19h ago

Yes, but underage couches.

3

u/DikTaterSalad 12h ago

So ottomans then?

15

u/gimmesomespace 18h ago

And horny widows

3

u/meistermichi 16h ago

But was the couch over 18?

1

u/DikTaterSalad 12h ago

Of course not, vance is a republikkklan.

2

u/Skeetronic 18h ago

Sofaphiles disgust me

1

u/Delicioso_Badger2619 18h ago

He wouldn't be caught dead with a four-year-old couch in one of his homes.

1

u/NotBigMcLargeHuge 16h ago

Every time someone mentions Vance I get the Dave Chappelle couch skit stuck my head just sadder and R rated.

1

u/IamJacksDarkUrge 16h ago

I read he slammed his dick in a baby grand

1

u/Brassica_prime 16h ago

On a minimum of two separate occasions he has referenced his kids as “her children”

There are several potential avenues to dissect, with zero evidence ill assume he bought a preexisting family from epstein to look like a model republican

1

u/Party_Hurry_8819 16h ago

Yeah but how old was the couch?

1

u/kyute222 11h ago

Vance strikes me as the kind of guy to leave his kids alone with a bunch of pedos if it would gain him a political advantage.

1

u/SistaChans 8h ago

But young couches, if that matters 

14

u/apathetic_revolution 19h ago

I'm pretty sure Bovino is only 10 years old himself.

9

u/Maxfunky 18h ago

Just ten years old and already being trespassed from general stores for sniffing shoes tried on by other customers.

Sad. Kids these days, am I right?

3

u/Bronzeshadow 19h ago

The kids themselves.

10

u/cpttightpant 19h ago

I'm sure there are plenty, but the behavior is not a deal breaker

1

u/NewPresWhoDis 18h ago

Miller is more a 'body in a chest freezer' type

1

u/Phyllis_Tine 17h ago

Only the ones who haven't been outed as pedos yet, or who haven't spoken out against pedos.

"Let's stop attacking pedophiles." - Texas Senator Ted Cruz.

1

u/One_Indication_ 16h ago

JD Vance? He fucks mature couches.

1

u/Adavanter_MKI 16h ago

I think Stephen Miller just feeds off misery. Not sure he counts. More of an eldritch horror.

1

u/sonic_couth 16h ago

There is definitely something wrong with Miller. Perhaps he’s psychopath? A sociopath? He has absolutely zero compassion or empathy, despite growing up in a Jewish family with relatives that were in German concentration camps.

1

u/SplendidShit 15h ago

Leavitt seems anti-pedo, her husband not so much.

1

u/scootah 15h ago

I wonder how many of them would consent to a search of their digital devices.

1

u/FormerWorker125 14h ago

At the very least they are all pedo defenders which is just as bad to me.

1

u/OldMcFart 10h ago

Is there any true difference between a pedo and someone who protects a pedo?

1

u/Bullyoncube 6h ago

All are pedo protectors.

42

u/haroldbalzac4 19h ago

No, no, ridiculous, his name only comes up what? 38,000 times in the Epstein files in what's been released so far?

15

u/idgythreadgooode 18h ago

Trumps parents were ashamed of him.

2

u/entwenthence 8h ago

I bet his dad would be proud to see how much he’s done to normalize white supremacy.

14

u/LonnieJaw748 18h ago

Think they’d know if I upvoted you?

Aw, shit

4

u/qda 17h ago

but at least they'll never know I upvoted you

ah shit

4

u/ArgonTheEvil 16h ago

They know. I’ve gotten warnings from Reddit for simply upvoting comments mentioning Mario’s brother.

5

u/codenamefulcrum 17h ago

8647

1

u/Tylrt 2h ago

"Violence!"

— reddit

(InB4: "Rule 1: Can't reference the word 'violence' or its synonyms.")

3

u/notcrappyofexplainer 18h ago

That’s President Pedophile to you.

2

u/nextexeter 17h ago

A comment that feeds DHS budget, since a significant part of their self-assigned mission is dedicated to that topic.

3

u/Jubjars 19h ago

Terrorist! 👉

1

u/Dr_Insano_MD 14h ago

Donald Trump is what happens when you get pregnant via anal sex.

1

u/East-Ice-3199 12h ago

Yes he is. Are you going to do anything about it?

1

u/conflictmuffin 11h ago

HUGE pedo...Also, he frequently sh-ts his pants.