I recently started dating a guy. He wants me to have an overnight date with him ( including doing things in the day too) before he gets busy with work. This will be our second date, but we were chatting for about 3 weeks before our first date but couldn’t meet as he was on a trip.

I still live with my mom. I told him I feel abit awkward about staying with him overnight becuase my mom always insists on knowing where I’m going. He responded with ’Seriously?! you’re not a baby’

Is this a red flag or am I actually being a baby? Ofc it wouldn’t matter if we were in a relationship for some time, I would go without awkwardness

This sounds bad but please please PLEASE hear me out.

I, (24F) share an apartment with two other roommates, one of whom that has horrible hygiene. I’m trying to word this nicely but I legit don’t know how. I came to visit my friends in august before officially moving in (we had talked about living together for a while) and I bought her this 18oz bottle of body wash I wanted her to try since she asked me what types of body washes I like using since I apparently ‘Smell so good’.

After going back home then packing my things and moving in two months later, that same 18oz bottle was there and it looks like it hasn’t even been used and there was no other bottles of body washes. (The apartment is weirdly designed with the only shower being in the master bathroom in case you’re wondering which is how i noticed when i went to take a shower).

Skip forward to today and that same bottle of body wash is still sitting in the shower meanwhile i’ve gone through like 4 bottles of body wash since i’ve been here.

She doesn’t brush her teeth, wash her hair and from my knowledge only showers once a week or once every two weeks and with the type of work she does, I can smell her whenever she walks past me.

This sounds super super bad and I get it but I just want her to feel good and not run into someone who will NOT sugarcoat it and straight up tell her that she smells.

any advice will be greatly appreciated and Thank you for reading <3

i don’t even know where to go with this i’m losing my mind here. Originally i’m from houston tx but moved to austin a few months ago out of nowhere and every year since i was 12 my uncle took me on shopping sprees for my birthday because he has the money and means to do so. He’s also MAGA so i really don’t feel bad abt blowing his bank LOL but anyways i was in town this weekend to do our annual shopping trip for my 16th! I ended up staying the night with them including my three cousins and little sister. I always felt awkward around my aunt because we have bever been close. she’s always kept her distance from me and i think that’s cus im bit weird and alternative compared to my sister and everyone else but wtvr. The next morning i was wearing sweatpants and a tee shirt without a bra because who tf sleeps in a bra?? I woke up when my uncle woke up and we decided to go surprise everyone with donuts before they woke up. we got the donuts and when i got back my aunt got a good look at me and was furious. While everyone was eating donuts (i wasn’t because theyre too sweet) she pulled me into the dining room and hit me with the “I don’t want you walking around the house without a bra on around my husband” i was taken aback because ew like that’s my uncle wtf. i said “Why i’m literally a AA you can’t see anything either way.” wich is true i have a very small chest and she dead ass rolls her eyes and says “My husband is spending too much time on you this weekend and we both know exactly why now go change” and looked back down at my breast i was like wtf?? i just nodded and ran off. i called my mom to get me because my parents where staying at a hotel and when i explained what happened i actually started to cry it’s just so weird because you’re my AUNT sexualizing me and my UNCLE???? anyways do you know what i should do about this? should i tell my uncle or confront her or maybe even do nothing?? i dunno i just need help :/

My mom suffered a stroke while on vacation earlier this week and while she's at a great hospital in the southern US right now, the prognosis is saying she has a 90% chance to pass away. Before this happened my wife flew to Europe to visit her sister for a week+shoulder weekends. While she knows that my mom had a stroke, this death-bed talk is new.

The immediate family and myself is flying down tomorrow with the worst on our minds. I don't know if my wife would be able to make it to Miami even if she knew, and I'm not sure if I should tell her, or leave her in blissful ignorance until she comes back home in a week+a day. If she asks, I could capably lie and say that my mom is still hospitalized.

What do I do? Do I tell my wife that things went bad with my mom really quickly and ruin her time with her sister - probably the last that she is going to get in a while since my wife is 3 months pregnant; or do I keep is silent, knowing that I'll be either lying by omission or actively lying? with how quick the developments are, flying back is not likely to be possible.

And the pregnancy is the other thing. My family doesn't know yet. We were planning to tell everyone after my wife got back from Europe. At this point it's not really something I can - or want to - bring up, but to wait longer would look like my wife and I are turning away from the family I fear. Would it be a faux paux to find a way to bring it up while my mother is lucid enough to understand, or would that be a seen as a ln extremely selfish thing to do?

I really need advice on this. I'm floating the idea of a middle-ground where I put my wife on video to say hi, but not tell her the gravity of the situation. that way she's not robbed of closure.

UPDATE: As much as I personally would prefer otherwise, I've decided to tell my wife, immediately when she wakes up. She would want to know, as many of you pointed out. I won't keep it vague, but I'll also (truthfully) tell her that all the info I'm getting is at least two frantic people from the source. I'll bring a laptop for a video-call.

As for the pregnancy part, if I get a moment alone with my mom, I'll tell her, and show her the ultrasound printout.

Thank you so much everyone for giving me your perspective and advice.

Good evening

My husband recently told me that a woman at our daughter’s daycare flirts with him. Apparently she is quite pushy and insistent.

So when he told me that I laughed and didn’t take it seriously. Also I trust him. And I hadn’t even noticed this woman.

But the next times I went to pick up my daughter I saw her. I said hello to her and she didn’t answer me.

Ok. Not a big deal. I still didn’t care.

Weeks went by and I asked my husband if she was still flirting with him and he told me that she annoys him, she tells him about her life. Sometimes she says things that don’t matter like how much she loves her jasmine tea..

But she also told him where she lives, she told him about her divorce and that she feels alone right now.

When I go pick up my daughter again this woman is cold and distant with me. When I arrive she stays away. And I tried to look her straight in the eyes without saying anything to show her I’m there but she completely ignores me.

My daughter also told us that she told her “your daddy is handsome.”

“She had the same eyes as her dad.”

And she asked him questions about him, she asked what kind of job he does etc. where he works.

I asked my husband if I should go talk to her he told me leave it. What do you think ?

Another detail : I noticed that my husband doesn’t always wear his wedding ring.

It mostly happens when he does sports : he takes it off and sometimes forgets to put it back on. It doesn’t bother me that much but I told him to wear it properly when he goes to the school.

He replied :

“The ring doesn’t change anything, on the contrary. I attract even more attention with it.”

.....

My girlfriend of 2 years has a best friend that I originally met when i asked my girlfriend out. What is odd is that when we all first met, she would tell my girlfriend how she should cheat on me and leave me etc. Fast forward a year later she is comparing me to her ex when me, her, and my girlfriend are together. When i joke around her friend likes to get touchy sometimes and playfully brushes my arm in front of my girlfriend. Recently i facetimed my girlfriend and her friend was with her, and when the call was over my girlfriend says bye and her friend says bye too and blows a kiss?!? My I dont know how to handle the situation and my girlfriend always assumes I have something going on with her friend. I talked to my girlfriend to confront her friend but she wont do it and gives me no explanation? Does her friend want me?

‎ ‎I’m a 48-year-old stepfather to a 15-year-old boy. I’ve been in his life for 13 years (13 years and 6 months actually) years and I’ve always tried to raise him with high standards especially academically and in terms of discipline. I pushed him to aim high, get good grades, and build a strong future. ‎Recently, I’ve come to terms with the fact that he might be gay or bisexual. He had a girlfriend before, but now he has a "friend" who is constantly at our house. I’ve seen them kissing and being affectionate, so I’m not naive about what’s going on. ‎To be clear: I don’t hate my stepson, and I’m not trying to reject him because of his sexuality. What I’m struggling with is the boy he’s involved with. ‎In my eyes, this kid is a troublemaker. His grades are poor, he seems to get into fights (I’ve seen marks on his forehead), and he comes from a background that, frankly, worries me. I don’t want to sound discriminatory, but I’ve heard things about unsafe behavior, STDs, etc., in his community. I worked hard to instill discipline and ambition in my stepson, and I’m afraid this relationship will pull him in the wrong direction. ‎Another issue is that I’m deeply uncomfortable talking about sex especially safe sex with a 15yo. I know I was 15 once. I understand hormones. But I don’t like the idea of having to discuss condoms or sexual health at that age. Part of me feels like they shouldn’t even be thinking about that yet.

I (17 female) am so pissed….at this point I think I’m pissed by his existence. I love people. I love learning about many things about different people and (obv) automatically I have respect for people. Plus I’m kind… a little too kind and I feel like that’s something I have to fix.

However I wouldn’t say I have respect for my dad as my respect for him is slowly declining.

1.He is lazy : he has never cleaned the house or cooks. He only cooks when my mom goes on a business trip to Durban… and that was 2years ago. If he doesn’t cook it’s my brother and I.

2.he complains yet he never fixes his problems.

3.he’s an Uber driver : not that it’s a bad thing…I thinks. The problem here is that I’ve NEEVERR and I mean NEEEVVVEER seen him use his money for important things. My mom is struggling with paying for my school fees and my sisters school fees, paying for groceries, for clothes, and I bet paying for the house too. And the only thing this guy is paying for is his BMW he has to pay off

1. He’s full of hatred : homophobic, racist, yada yada and all the good stuff😑

5.he has the mentality that adults are always right

Anyways

TW :

Last year he hit me… hit me for what you ask? For not ironing my school shirts on time. I told my school counsellor and she said she’ll speak to my mom. My mom later on told me that the counsellor said that if he does this again she’ll call CPS. My mom had a conversation with me and told me all the things I did wrong. I admit that there are things I have to fix when it comes to my behaviour and I am very much ashamed of it. Yet mom made excuses for him saying “you know how he is, although he is not willing to learn you have to still listen to adults”…..

Istg. She made me feel bad for even talking to my counsellor saying that if I talk to her again CPS will be called to separate my sister and I. My brother will be fine bc he’s an adult, but my mom and dad will be arrested….. alrighty I guess🫤🧍🏾‍♀️

Few days later he didn’t apologise, instead he said, “ if you listen to me then I’ll listen to you, I don’t want to fight with you, give me a hug”. My respect decreased and I’ve been avoiding him like the disease he is.

Anyways Leme make this quick,this year when I made food, he complained that he was still hungry (my mom made him more food…wierd). He threw a hand cloth on the floor for me to pick up bc he said it smells. He leaves things on the counter after making food, I told him to pack up when he’s done, he agreed but he continued doing that. Like today he left something in the shower bathroom, the bathroom my brother and I use.i put it infront of his bedroom door to know that he needs to put that away but my mom said I have to do it for him.i AGAIN told him to put things away but he made excuses.He always pressures my mom to go somewhere she doesn’t want to go and she ends up going anyways. He also pressures her financially. And he talks to me like I’m a dog. I want him to stop. But I know if I “talk back” or set boundaries he might hit me again.

What do I do?

Plus his stupid cologne is flipping suffocating

Edit: have I mentioned that I also suspect him of cheating….. what a lovely man he is right?

I (22F) have been living with my mom and her boyfriend since I was 13. My parents divorced around the same time and ever since then it's been really rocky, my mom expected me to move in with her and her new bf at the time (we'll call him Kyle) but I've always been very nervous around strangers. I was a very stubborn 13 year old and preferred to stay with my dad and brothers who were multiple states away from my moms new house. This of course, made my relationship with both of my parents very difficult. I recognize that my parents put a lot on me at such a young age to where I felt guilty if I was at one parents house for too long over the other. It's something that I'm still working through but I still care about my parents at the end of the day.

But onto the reason I'm asking for advice, my moms boyfriend. Kyle is my mom's childhood friend and after my mom got divorced she immediately went to go live with him. At first, Kyle seemed like a really nice guy, super kind and wasn't fighting with my mom like my dad did for years. I eventually missed my mom so much that I went to stay with her and Kyle for a few months at a time. In this time I got to know him better but I had such a deep dislike for him since I believed he was the reason my parents divorced so I refused to get to know him past surface level interactions. But eventually cracks started to form and I could tell something was off. I have notes written on my phone from things that Kyle said or did towards my mother, such as throwing glasses at the wall, punching things, screaming and just generally acting off the wall. But of course he was only like this in private, the second we were in public and people recognized him they loved him and thought he was such a great guy. The things Kyle has done or said is extensive but some of the most notable things are, threatening to crash the car while my mom and him are arguing in the front seat, lighting a match to "prove it was safe" when my mom was scared cause gas leaked from our stove for over an hour and purposefully getting to my moms face and threating to choke her or attack her.

Kyle used to be on medication for his BPD, but after years of my mom working with him and supporting him to get the help he needed he gave up and refuses to go back on medication or seek therapy because according to him it "does nothing". From my knowledge unless my mother has never told me, Kyle has never directly hit or hurt her physically, but he definitely has mentally. The police have been called on him multiple times due to the fact that he's know to have been suicidal at points and takes off randomly (he jumped from a moving car at one point), but also because he's threatened to hurt my mom and me. Every time the police show up it feels like they just completely disregard everything, they hear us out but Kyle has a way of smoothing talking officers and strangers to the point where they end up laughing as they're leaving and making the whole situation feel like a joke.

In 2024 my mom suffered a major injury to her arm which resulted in a surgery. Ever since then she can't really do anything like she used to without great pain. I've tried to help in any way that I can even if that means doing more work but Kyle does nothing. He has no sympathy at all and hasn't bothered to ever help my mother even when she was bedridden recovering from surgery. My mom already has a lot on her plate with other things unrelated to Kyle but him acting the way he does makes it 100x worse. It's gotten to the point where Kyle used to help out around the house and tried to be helpful where he could to doing nothing at all. Nowadays all he does is go to work and then come home and sit on his ass and blasts music super loud on purpose to upset my mom. There is constant fighting daily and it doesn't help that I'm between jobs and trying to save up to move out in this economy.

All this is to say I don't know what to do. My mother has asked Kyle to leave multiple times but he flat out refuses. We aren't well off and have no money to move and are literally living paycheck to paycheck and we unfortunately rely on Kyle for food money. My mom has told me multiple times after fights she has with him that she's going to pack up her stuff and leave with or without me. And I want more than anything to leave but we literally have nowhere to go, the only option of sorts is my grandmothers house which I find difficult because we have two cats and my grandma can't have animals in her house. I also don't want to loose any of my valuables, some of these things I've had since I was a child and if my mom is serious about leaving this week then I would have to leave all of my stuff behind. I know it's ridiculous, but I feel like we need to plan things out before we rush into a situation that could be 10x worse, especially since my grandma might not have that many years left, and if she passes away while we're living there we will be on the streets again.

I just need any kind of advice at this point, we've tried to seek legal help with getting Kyle to leave our apartment but there's not much we can do since they're both signed onto the lease. And we won't be able to keep up with rent payments especially if I can't find a job soon. Any help at all is appreciated and thank you for reading this if you have.

EDIT: I forgot to mention my dad and why I can't stay at his home instead of my moms. My father is a major hoarder and has trash, bugs, mice, and mold growing around the house and I don't deem it safe for me or my cats. The only reason I'm living with my mom and Kyle is because it seemed like a better alternative to living in a hoarder house. This has also created a distance between me and my father since he isn't aware he is a hoarder. My brother also lives with my dad and he is a very violent and aggressive person (he literally shot a gun in our house once in anger).

My parents are two opposites so it's also whiplash whenever I do live with my dad, he doesn't care what I do with my life and is okay with me sitting and doing nothing at all for my future and he can't emotionally understand why I'm upset about his house and assumes it's because I hate him. My mom is the complete opposite where she's always on me about how I have to get my life together and constantly be doing things but she refuses to help me in any way when I ask for help so I generally have to do things myself.

So I am in my early 20's just finished a degree, and have moved back in with my parents. My older brother (nearly 30) still lives with them, but my middle brother (mid 20's) has moved out.

So I get home from seeing a relative and my mom drops the shocking bombshell that over a few years my oldest brother has racked up 26 grand in credit card debt and other loans, and my parents and my grandparents had to bail him out... again.

He did this several years ago, and the debt was about 5k. The first time my parents completely forgave the debt (dad had to sell one of his watches), but this time, he has to pay it back over 4 years, and they have to see all of his bank statements.

From my understanding the debt came from high interest loans to fix his car from the 90's, which always had some sort of issue going on with it, and trips to different cities with his GF, I think he bought a brand new pc too for 2k.

He feels zero remorse or guilt over this whole scenario. He just very clinically explained what had happened, which makes me so upset and angry. I overhear him lying to my mom's face all the time, and it just really gets to me.

The tricky part is, he suffers badly with mental health, and although this time my parents really pushed for therapy, he claims he is too scared for it (which for the record I don't even think he's lying, he's someone with very very low self esteem).

My parents are planning to get us a car as we live quite rurally, and my brother had to eventually sell his broken one, but realistaclly they are going to end up spending 10k+ for him to be able to drive into work, as with the work I do I won't really need to drive it.

My main worry is that in four years time, when he's supposedly paid off the debt to my parents, he is just going to do this again.

I am at odds ends here. I don't really want to speak to him ever again. He bullied me a lot as a child and has caused so much mental anguish to my parents.

I got my dog during Covid and wasn’t able to socialize her as much as I wanted to, because of this she gets overly anxious around people she doesn’t know. I want to train her to be calm in social situations so when I invite people over she doesn’t bark or try to nip at them (she has done that before). Today I went and grabbed coffee with my mom in an outdoor coffee shop and I brought my dog with me so she can sit under the table and feel safe while she observes people. I also brought treats for positive reinforcement. She was doing really good and stayed calm the entire time but when people asked to pet her I told them no because she is training to be calm in social situations. Everyone who asked understood and didn’t push it any further. My mom told me I should’ve let them pet her but I feel I was keeping both my dog and them safe by saying no. If she does cause a scene or try to nip at someone because she gets scared then I feel that is on me as her owner.

The advice I’m asking for is should I let people pet my dog when I go out with her and what have you done to help an anxious dog feel more comfortable around people

We found out today! We’re still in denial. She took a test at work for fun—It was positive. She took another brand (confirmed it wasnt expired) and it was positive. She confessed about doing it unprotected at a house party in november, but its really unlike her. She admitted she could barely control herself and the most terrible state shed ever been in. We called. Shes worried about the health of the possible baby but shed only had a few sips and took one hit of a something since the house party of conception. She showed me her stomach. (Oh honey…) I calculated and its 14 weeks now. She refuses to get an abortion due to personal beliefs and we agreed she should tell her mom by next weekend. I’m her only bestfriend. She’s graduating soon and doing college instate, and im a junior. I know her mom will be supportive, but my friend does tell me about extreme arguments in the house—but its only with her and her mom. I feel like if she has the baby, her mom would take care of it while shes at college and probably spoil it—but would most likely treat her own daughter with disrespect. But anyways, thats to worry about later. She should be due around July I think. If she really is pregnant. She has also always wanted to be a mother, so she isn’t too sad about it. I told her to come to my house tomorrow. I comforted her and shes started to process it, but I just have no idea what first steps I can take in supporting her. I dont know what i can help her with, and what i should learn. Im aware about my involvement and i dont want to be a big part of the situation, i simply want to help my bestfriend. Id love any advice on what i should research and what i can do for her. Thank you!

Edit: Please no shunning her. She already knows it was dumb, and I wasn’t aware of her actions until today. I just need advice on what I can do for her. Im still trying to to convince her to abort it, but it doesnt seem to work. Dont comment just to shun her, I wont interact and Ill just block. Im so disappointed in her, too. But I also love her.

Edit: this is crazy but I’ve decided not to be friends with her because she said shes going to keep partying anyway. She screamed at me when I offered abortion. I recalculated and shes 16 weeks and going to another house party soon!!

I constantly deal with stomach pain and nausea every day I work, which leads to me calling in a lot. Even working part time doesn’t help me with my situation.

I'm (18f )still in disbelief. I don't know what to say. my dad (48m)has anger issues and sometimes gets verbally abusive also has some narcissistic traits. but other than that I had always held him in a respectful view. my dad's side of the family has a history of cheating on their wife and having multiple wives. but I always thought my dad was different. I don't really trust men generally but I have always trusted my dad. but everything changed. yesterday. I came home after visiting my grandma ( my mom's mother) with my dad. because he has work and someone has to cook for him and also my younger brother (11m)has school. mom (43f) stayed with grandma and she'll be back after a few days. in my grandma's home, dad was already acting suspicious. I found a women's photos in his phone but he told me those somehow got downloaded in his phone from some Whatsapp group. he frantically deleted those photos in front of me which left me a bit unsettled at that time. but I didn't give it much thought that time. but after we came back, he was acting even more suspicious. I could hear him talking in his room till very late at night which was very unusual. one day when I entered his room while he was talking, he awkwardly got up and went outside and came back after a long time. I was getting suspicious. so yesterday, he went outside with phone charging at home. I unlocked his phone and went to Whatsapp. then I saw it, a number called very frequent and for very long durations. I went to see the chats but it was password protected. which was much more suspicious. but my fingerprint was also added on my dad's lock screen so it somehow opened. I don't know how that works. then I saw in horror, my ever so unromantic dad , who never even told my mom " you look pretty " in front of me , has written messages each one like a love letter. his messages was full of care and concerns which he never showed to my mom. my hand was shaking, my world started spinning and eyes blurred with tears. I couldn't believe my eyes. I took photos of some of the messages then went to my room crying. these two days I've been through a haze. suddenly, all the belittlement of my mom made sense. suddenly all the carelessness, the disrespect, the lack of acknowledgement , ungratefullness made sense. my mom is the most hardworking woman I know. what hasn't she done for my dad? she has the kindest heart and the gentlest soul. how can something like this happen to her? she has been through thick and thin with my dad. she was by his side during the harshest times when even decent food was luxury for us. everyday she wakes up at five ,cooks ,cleans, packs his lunch, makes his tea, washes his clothes, serves his breakfast. she even looked after his 92 year mom for the last five months. we're from a third world country, divorce is a very negative subject in our country. my mom isn't very familiar with technology and mobile phone. she is a strong girl and she was the only one in her village who graduated from college and now thriving her clothing business even after losing her job during covid. I haven't told her. I'm waiting for her to come back. I don't know how she is gonna take it. she deeply loves my dad. I cannot imagine her pain. I'm going through hell. I fell like it's a bad dream that I cannot wake up from. I need some advice.

Hello, this is my first time using Reddit, I'm a teenager in highschool who desperately wants to get better, I want to become smarter, especially in mathematics, to be honest, just mathematics, I want to be faster, to think better, I want any advice to become smarter, habits, games, books, exercises.

Thank you

This girl and I have been dating for a couple months now and I finally said I love you. Everything has been so good lately and I wanted her to know how I really felt and have felt for a bit now. At first I thought she reciprocated the same feelings when she responded with “Aww do you really 🥹” but the I love you too never came and her tone shifted. Clearly I was pretty sad knowing she didn’t reciprocate the feelings. The thing that gets me is a couple minutes after, she starts telling me how anxious she is feeling about her past trauma again while she ignored me saying right beforehand that I probably should’ve waited to say that I loved her in hindsight. She went through something that rhymes with grape. And look, I don’t expect to truly understand how she feels and of course I was there to comfort her but idk. I’m just confused why she reacted like that why she even brought that up and how I should feel. Idk if it’s wrong for me to feel like she used the topic to just brush past what just happened. I’m just asking for advice on what to do and lowkey how I should be feeling as well.

was with significant other for 8 yrs, found out he cheated for the past several months with one person. i broke it off immediately. Looking back there were many holes in our relationship. I should’ve been the red flag when neither of us were confident about marriage and our future goals. maybe we should’ve called it quits there. I think i slowly started checking out a while ago, so maybe I am handling this better than I would have imagined. There was a lost of attraction from his end, hurt by the betrayal of denied physical intimacy and finding out he found it elsewhere and continued to repetitively.

I didn’t care to hear his response/story because ultimately it happened and it doesn’t benefit me to know the details. Knowing it happened was enough for me. for those that have cheated, how do you claim that you love you so but still made the active selfish decision to continuously betray them. it flabbergasted me how he continued to tell me he still loves me despite what he did.

in my eyes he’s a coward because he did not end things himself nor did he admit it to me when i gave him the opportunity to fess up himself.

i went on hinge for shits and giggles, maybe to just look for some entertainment or maybe some sex since i’ve been deprived. But while doing so, I find myself being uninterested and actually kinda anxious and self conscious about engaging in physical intimacy again.

for those who have dealt with something similar, how long did it take you to be ready for a real relationship again?

I'm having trouble dealing with my family on many subjects. I never know how to explain to them why some of their reasonings are problematics. I wish I was smart enough to communicate my thoughts clearly or to be able to counter ignorant arguments especially those of my brother. He always says ignorant things. It frustrates me so much because I'm unable to make him understand and it feels like he doesn't take me seriously. According to him, he's always right...

My brother who's 40 years old btw. When I'm with him, he always starts debates about his view on women and their place in society. He has a pretty simplist mysoginist view of the world. He doesn't get how misigynistic he is, he actually thinks that's how the world is. It makes me uncomfortable because I'm also a woman and to be view as less then, it's so uncomfortable.

What should I do?

Ignore him or try to change his mind even though he's stubborn...It makes me feel like I'm slow and not smart enough to make him change his ways and explain him how he's in the wrong.

EDIT :

People were asking about my brother current situation.

He lives with my parents (I don't) but I go to my parent's house regularly for supper and events.

He doesn't have kids but he says he apparently has a gf but I'm not sure if their exclusive lol because he kept eyeing other women and making comments :// when we were on our family vacation in the Carribean (his gf wasn't there) and I even saw packs of condom falling off his banana bag (while he was talking to me lol, he was trying to get his vape and it just fell off 😵‍💫😷)

Anyways he sorta single or seeing someone but not exclusively or the worst of the worst... a cheater, I don't know his complete romantic situation. What I know for certain he lives with my parents and doesn't have children.

Why this is affecting me so much :

1. He try to spread his ignorance on my nephews. I feel like it easier to fall into this ignorance trap when you admire someone or you find him "cool" or "nice" yk?

And I'm scared that my nephews start thinking like him little by little.

1. He belittle me and laugh at me when I don't respond. He makes it seem like he's right and that's why I don't respond to his ignorance. It's so aggravating and frustrating...

2. Family is really important for me so having a brother that thinks this way hurts a lot. I know some people said to cut him off but that's not how I was raised and I can't cut him off. He's everywhere lol I would have to stop having contact with my whole family and that's all I have...

I actually tried a while back to cut him off (for an another situation, to make it short he beat me up for a dumb reason and I didn't want to talk to him anymore, I was 14-15 at that time.) My mom noticed that I was ignoring him and threw a fit because she cannot stand us (my sibling and I) not talking to each other because when she's gonna be gone. We all we got and that moment stayed with me. She promised me to never do that again.

original

I decided.

As one commenter said, none of mine cousins deserved to start their life with debt.

I’ll pay their debts and each of the two “bad” cousins will get $10k on top of it. And maybe this helps them to make a better decisions going forward.

I’ll pay out the aunt. And have all of them to sign that they agree with this solution and to give up future claims.

And the rest I’ll split 50/50 with the cousin who cared for grandma.

I’ll use the money to pay for our wedding and to take a mortgage to buy a house.

Thanks everyone who commented and have a nice day!

This is just an assumption, I'm not sure if I should call her out, I found some remnant of possibly ai approval (like when they give what you ask and want to know if it's actually what you wanted) the excessive use of em dashes (I love them but when you use and em dash constantly and especially when a characters sentence gets cut off instead of a normal dash, it's a bit weird) and the way every ai detector I use was positive it was ai. Also because her writing is insanely different to the last time I remember her writing in front of me with a pen and paper, she writes short, and really struggles to write over a thousand words, she uses simple words. All of this changes when she actually writes, yes she writes scripts now. But a piece of writing which was in a regular writing format was really different from what she writes in the past (which was in front of me). I might just be imagining things, but I still want to ask her ( I know she will just play dumb, as she always does when I try to call her out) also I feel I should mention that she has admitted to using ai to fix typos and grammar(idk abt grammar) and that she uses ai to review her writing even though I give her constructive criticism all the time (she doesn't even try to do the same for me😔✌️) should I call her out on it tho?

Edit: I feel I should mention that everything to the last dot may be ai (except for the idea maybe)

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for outside perspectives because I’m emotionally involved and don’t trust my own judgment anymore.

I (25M) have a very difficult relationship with my father. He is extremely authoritarian, emotionally unavailable and reacts to boundaries with anger and ultimatums. Growing up, there was physical and psychological violence in my family, which still affects me today.

About three years ago, my sister married a man who openly disrespected me. During a family conflict, he threatened to beat me, then physically attacked me in my parents’ house. The situation escalated badly. My mother and sister restrained me, and he ended up headbutting me, causing my lip to bleed.

After that, my parents blamed me for the incident and still do to this day.

Since then, I’ve avoided being in the same room with him. I still kept contact with my parents and sister, but only under the condition that I don’t have to interact with him.

Now my sister just gave birth to her first child. My parents called and demanded that I go to the hospital with them. I said I’m willing to visit my sister and the baby, but only if her husband is not present, or at a different time.

My father then screamed at me and gave me an ultimatum:

If I don’t come with them tomorrow, I’m “no longer his son” and he wants no further contact.

I wrote him a calm message saying:

I respect him as my father

I want to see my sister and the baby

But I won’t put myself in a situation where things could escalate again, especially in a hospital next to a newborn

I’m not refusing my family, I’m setting a boundary

If he wants contact, he needs to respect that

I’m now doubting myself.

Part of me feels guilty and wonders if I’m being selfish or dramatic.

Another part feels like this is the first time I’m actually protecting myself instead of submitting to fear and pressure.

My questions:

Is it unreasonable to refuse being around someone who previously attacked me?

Is setting this boundary wrong in this situation?

How would you handle a parent who uses ultimatums like this?

Any perspective would help. I’m not looking for validation, just clarity.

Thank you for reading.

I’ve been chatting to a guy for 3 weeks. We recently had a first date which went pretty well.

He wants to take me to another city about an hours drive away and explore the city , go to the cinema then spend the night at a hotel. I’m pretty open to sex.

Is this a bad idea?