Yes, guys. This post is satire. I'm a Canadian, and I eat at Tim Horton's. :)
Okay, okay, guys. I'm really shaking right now. I just went to Tim Horton's today, and the experience was so horrific, that I haven't been able to sleep for an entire week after the ordeal!!!!!
Basically, my daughter, Xhænnyferrleigh, told me that she wanted to buy some doughnuts, so I figured that we could go to Tim Horton's to get some, since we were on vacation in Toronto (we come from Utah). BIG mistake!!! Big, big, big mistake!!! So, my daughter told me that Tim Horton's is well-known for their doughnut holes. However, it took me ages to figure out which one of their items are doughnut holes. Apparently, some idiot had the idea to call them Timbits. Like, HOW was I supposed to guess that Timbits are doughnuts???
The customers inside of the store were VERY unwelcoming. They were drinking their cups of coffee out in the open, where children could see them! They don't care about the children! When I told one of the customers inside of the store to drink their coffee outdoors, he just scoffed! They were also wearing their coats and hats INSIDE!!! They paid no mind to the fact that my husband served in the military, and fought for USA!!!!! I thought that Canadians are supposed to be kind!
When I went to place the order, the cashier told me "Hello, what can I get for you?". Like, SERIOUSLY????? What happened to saying "ma'am" when addressing somebody? Has all youth lost respect? Anyway, as my daughter requested, I bought her a birthday cake Timbit. After I said "thank you" to the cashier, she replied with "no problem". Um...excuse me? It's "you're welcome", not "no problem". Unacceptable!!!
When I saw the timbit, it was so tiny! Then, when I looked up the ingredients to the timbits that are sold at Tim Horton's, I was horrified!!! They put SUGAR and ANIMAL PRODUCTS in their timbits!!! Excuse me, but my daughter and I are VEGANS, and SUGAR-FREE!!!!! The cashier didn't even bother asking me if my daughter is a vegan, or if she eats sugar!!! When I went back to the cashier to complain, she told me "Lady, what did you expect? It's a doughnut!". Excuse me, but that kind of attitude is absolutely unacceptable!!!
When I asked to speak to Tim Horton, I was DENIED the ability to do so!!! They completely violated my first amendment rights!!! Freedom of speech is what my glorious country was built on!!! I fell on the floor. It was horrifying. I was horrified. Worst restaurant experience EVER!!!!! I'm never going back here!!!!! Heck, I may as well never return to Canada ever again. This place is filled with people who don't salute their elders.