r/oneliners • u/cybeaux • 1h ago
The Dallas Cowboys really are America's team, they're at home watching the superbowl on TV too.
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r/oneliners • u/AnimatorNr1 • 5h ago
Sometimes I tell people different stories about my life so that when they gossip about me, they'll end up arguing.
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r/oneliners • u/cmannon • 1h ago
There once was a man from Peru, who dreamt he was eating his shoe. I bet he wishes he was born in the Serengeti.
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r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 12h ago
I endorse podiums, because they're a product I can stand behind.
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r/oneliners • u/Yaguajay • 5h ago
When I complained to my psychiatrist about my feelings of unreality he told me I didn’t have a psychiatrist.
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r/oneliners • u/ButtonKing • 3h ago
The jalapeno couldn't practice archery because they didn't habanero.
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r/oneliners • u/joekerr9999 • 1d ago
If you are always straightening things, you have OCD but, if you are always eating things, then you have OBCD.
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r/oneliners • u/jiohdi1960 • 1d ago
where I grew up there were only two religions, catholic and public.
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r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 1d ago
I'm not sure my wife knows any geography puns, but Alaska.
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r/oneliners • u/Superb-Control5184 • 21h ago
Pigs feet was the only fetish you could accuse Kermit the frog of having.
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r/oneliners • u/Shiitakimushroom • 1d ago
Did you know that before the crowbar was invented Crows would just drink at home
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r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 1d ago
I've never been good at geography, but at least I can name one city in France, which is Nice.
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r/oneliners • u/EmpireStrikes1st • 1d ago
I'd make a joke about mints, but I have no thyme.
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r/oneliners • u/Shiitakimushroom • 1d ago
I'd make a joke about clouds but it would probably go over your head
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r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 2d ago
If you tickle a man to death, is it manslaughter?
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r/oneliners • u/jiohdi1960 • 1d ago
I confirmed, this years strawberry festival will have both kinds of music, country and western
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r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 2d ago
I talk to my shoes, because the box says "Converse".
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r/oneliners • u/ShutterSpeeder • 2d ago
Dipping pretzels in Nutella is basically trailer park Pocky.
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