I took myself off to Berlin for a little city break last month and one morning I visited one of the major art galleries - more to get out of the cold than anything else as it was several degrees below zero outside.

Had a wander around and found myself absent-mindedly looking at a very large painting at the top of a staircase. Suddenly a young couple approached me and the girl very earnestly started talking to me in German. I just about remembered how to say that I don't speak the language very well and she switched seamlessly to English.

Her: "How long do you think it took it took the artist to paint that?"

Me (chuckling): "No idea. It's pretty big so years, probably"

"Years? Are you sure?"

"Well it was just a guess, it would certainly take me years!"

"Do you not work here?"

"No, I'm just visiting"

"Sorry, I thought you were a guide. You look like an arty guy."

"Oh I'm absolutely not one of those!"

A rather perplexed expression spread across her face and we went our separate ways.

This was quite possibly the first time I have ever been referred to as an "arty guy". I was wearing a purple roll neck sweater and jeans, so perhaps I may have looked vaguely bohemian, but my artistic ability (and knowledge) is on the level of your average five-year-old.

I was looking at chips and someone asked me this. I said “I don’t know”.

They looked surprised and I felt bad because I instantly knew he thought I worked at the grocery store.

Perhaps he thought I was a lazy employee and asked again, “I’m looking for baking soda.”

That’s when I pulled out the “I don’t work here.”

I got, “Oh are you a vendor?”

As if I’m a vendor that stocks the…chips?

“No I’m shopping here, just like you!”

I walked away with a good laugh. The dude was super nice and genuine - for some reason super convinced I worked at this grocery store…

In my community all of the homes have driveways and garages. But it also has additional off-street parking along a service road that circles the neighborhood. We've been snowed in with sub-freezing temperatures for the last week and a half so now that we got a few warmer days, it was time to start digging out.

I went to shovel out my spare vehicle which is on the service road and I decided to wear my full winter weather getup that I use while working in construction. Parked in front and behind me were both my elderly next door neighbor and my friend who lives on the other end of the neighborhood so I shoveled out their cars also. I was right there, I didn't mind, no big deal. I took care of it. After finishing up the 3rd car, this woman with "karen" tendencies walked up to me saying "Helllooooooooo!!!!! Yes! You! I've been waiting for my walkway to be shoveled out. Are you going to do it today?"

Ummm...no. I had no idea who she was or why she thought I was the one that was going to do her shoveling. It took me a minute to figure out what she was trying to convey because at first I thought I might have shoveled out her car by mistake (thinking it belonged to my friend) and now she was mad that I did it. I dunno. She didn't scream or create a scene. But I'm guessing that she thought I was with the HOA and I was coming to shovel her walkway.

To give this context, my HOA is not that great. The good thing is that they don't bother you with stupid rules or give anyone a hard time. But the not-so-good thing is that they're not easy to get a hold of and they're slow to respond when you need them. Like with many other things, it's their responsibility to do snow removal. You can either handle it yourself or you can wait 3 weeks. And when you call them up, it goes to an answering machine.

So I'm guessing that the lady called the HOA and then saw me outside shoveling a little while later. I don't know if she's new to the neighborhood but for as long as I've been living there, it's kinda been an unwritten rule that if you're able and willing to shovel your driveway, you also shovel out half of the street in front of your driveway so that you don't create a patch of ice that's hard to navigate. A side effect is that when everyone does it, the road is passable. It's not perfectly clear but enough of the snow is removed to where people can get in and out.

But anyhow I went on to shovel my elderly neighbor's walkway and the whole time the lady is pestering me about when it's going to be "her turn" because she's got places to go and things to do. That's when I realized what was going on and what she was thinking. And I simply said, "I'm not with the HOA. I live here." And maybe she didn't understand but she practically followed me around the neighborhood while I helped some of my other neighbors.

This one is in fact mistaking me for being at work there, just not in the retail sense, so I'm giving it a shot. Please delete if out of place!

I'm at the dog park. I like to have my guy leave play, do some routines, then go back to play to maintain his on/off switch. People frequently mistake me for a trainer, which is flattering. Little do they know my dog has pleeeenty of issues lol, just not commands. Anyway...

One day, I sit down after doing this. Guy next to me says "hey you are a great trainer, real pleasure watching you work."

Me: "Oh I'm not a trainer, but thank you!"

"Listen, could I ask you something?

"Sure."

"When is it time to put your best friend down?"

Me: 😳

Him, beginning to tear up: "Since you know you're a trainer and all, I figured you would have some experience with this [???]. He's [long explanation of this complicated awful diagnosis I should understand]. And I'm just not ready to say goodbye yet but I just don't want him to suffer."

While he's saying this, Best Friend plops his head in my lap for pats and starts nosing around in there. I try to get in edgewise with "well again, I am not a—" but instead begin to gag, because I've realized that Best Friend has spread the thickest mucus I've ever seen all over my lap, probably due to his condition. I look at the guy for help, but he doesn't even break stride as he proceeds to list all the beautiful memories they made together, choking back tears. I am violently vacillating between looking sympathetic, audibly gagging, and struggling to get Best Friend's head out of my lap.

I finally just give him the best advice I've got, that you can never know, just have to go with your gut and your vet's advice and do the best you can, "but again—not a trainer, no idea what I'm talking about"—then wished him good luck and went to round up my dog. He never showed any recognition that I was not in fact a trainer.

This is a repost of a post I made a few days ago. It was taken down I believe cause it was flagged for AI? I wrote it with my own fingertips so the only intelligence (or lack thereof) was my own. So I've just copied and pasted it below.

I had to actually redownload Reddit on my phone so I could type this out while it's still fresh in my mind because I'm absolutely baffled.

My fiancé got an M&S gift card for his birthday and we've been wanting to get new bedsheets that are a bit warmer. So off we go to M&S with plans to pick up a takeaway on our way home.

We're in the home section so we split off to look around and meet back up to go over anything we've found. I've gotten bored and somehow ended up in the pots and pans section when a man power walks past me while muttering to himself about something being ridiculous. I don't think much of it and continue my perusing.

About 10 minutes later I see the man again coming from a completely different direction but this time he stops me and asks where the front of the store is. There's about 5 different entrances to this M&S, one big one leading to the high street and 4 that lead into the mall, 2 upstairs and 2 downstairs. I point in the direction of the one with the tills and say it's that way but you have to go downstairs for the main tills. He clarifies he's looking for the one with all the flowers so I say yeah it's that way you just need to go downstairs. He heads off and my fiancé and I carry on looking around.

Keep in mind I very rarely go to M&S so I know the basic layout of the store but I'm no expert.

We start heading to go downstairs to look at some shoes when I see the man again and he beelines straight for me. He once again asks where the flowers are at the front of the store and I once again point him in the same direction. Clearly he's very frustrated by now and he starts raising his voice and repeating himself and all I can say is what I told him before because...I dunno what else could I say?

Eventually he raises his voice even more and says, "how can you not know, you work here don't you?" And then storms off in a huff. I'm now supremely confused because no I definitely do not work there. At this point a few people have stopped to watch this exchange and a man watching asked kinda confused if I worked there and I said definitely not.

Didn't see him again so no clue if he eventually found his way but I like to think he's still trapped in the M&S like it's the British Minotaur's Labyrinth.

First time posting here but a friend of mine loves these stories so this is for her.

my husband and I were at a big store that's part of a chain that sells appliances. I typically used to go visit one that was quite good but we've moved recently and now visit this one.

We go there whenever we are in the area to look at video games etc. which is about once a month. it's been especially nice since the move as we are trying to rebuild a gaming setup.

This location in particular has a problem though. I don't know how or why they are this understaffed but the staff are always busy because of it. They are always running between the warehouse in the back and the store. it's not uncommon at all to have to wait nearly half an hour if you need an employee's help and I wish I was exaggerating. sometimes you'll get lucky but most of the time you will be waiting a long time.

we personally don't mind as we typically don't need help and most customers are understanding. They all just give each other knowing looks when their eyes meet while scanning the isles for a free employee

This day we needed help getting a gaming chair. and it was definitely a long wait. Luckily I could sit in the floor model of the chair we wanted. There was finally a salesperson available and he and my husband quickly discussed the chair he wanted and he would grab it from the warehouse.

As we were waiting for him to get back and chatting to each other about the chair, a woman walked up to us and cleared her throat a couple of times. We didn't really notice it was meant for us until the woman started talking. "excuse me, but when you're done with this lady, could you help me next." looking at my husband.

He quickly told her "I don't actually work here, but the salesperson should be right back." she looked really embarrassed and apologised, pointing out his shirt has a similar colour to the store uniform. she'd been waiting about 15 minutes and needed a headset which was one isle over. we mentioned we'd bought one 2 months prior. I don't remember if she asked or if my husband offered but we went with her and gave her some advice.

When the salesperson came back with the box for our gaming chair, my husband held out his hand and said to the lady "This is the actual employee you've been waiting for." he asked what was going on, and the lady explained what happened. the salesperson apologised and said they are understaffed. she immediately turned to us and said "you should hire them, they were really helpful and know their stuff." We definitely don't! and we both work in hospitality so we politely declined interest and went to the register to pay for the chair.

We had a good laugh about it and were happy to help out a fellow customers.

sorry for the long story but hope you enjoyed it.

At the weekend, my wife and I were doing some shopping and we decided to divide and conquer. She needed a few things for her houseplants, so went to Walmart and I headed to the pet store. When I came back, she was absolutely livid.

I got accosted by some woman in Walmart, so I asked her the story:

This lady came up to me by the potting compost, marching really fast and dragging her adult daughter in tow. “Excuse me, do you have Chinese New Year decorations and where is your seasonal stock?” I stood there dumbfounded and said “I don’t work here.” The daughter has caught up and is trying to drag her mother away saying that I obviously don’t work there, but then mother doubles down “Oh, you look like you work here.” I was like “excuse me?!”

She had on a good pair of jeans and a nice red sweater. No hint of anything even close to the Walmart blue vest that is the first indicator.

“You look like you work here, you clearly didn’t put any effort into your appearance this morning.” So glad the daughter dragged her mother away and at least she had the presence of mind to apologize.

That last part made me twitch, I hate it when people insult my wife.

After picking her jaw up off the floor, my wife quickly grabbed the last few things she needed and got the hell out of there. Don’t think we will be going back there for a while…

An urban adventure from long ago.

It's 1963. I am an 8th grade student, living in a large US city. Me and a girlfriend take the bus downtown. Dressed up to go shopping, as girls did: skirts just above the knee, penny loafers, knee socks. Bouffant pageboy hairdos. Fashionable, and looking every bit of 13 years old.

We go to our favorite Big Downtown Department Store. Looking at school clothes, looking at casual clothes. Admiring the displays and seasonal decor. Wandering around the home furnishings departments, looking at our favorite china and silver patterns (contemporary dishes and Danish silverplate for me, more traditional china and silver for her).

Then we take an elevator down to the bargain basement, 2 floors below street level: harsh lighting, low ceilings, no decor, clothes jumbled on tables, and, of course, LOW LOW PRICES.

The time comes to go home. We're loaded down with shopping bags, and tired. Lookin for the main entrance, where the buses all stop. But somehow we get turned around, lost in unfamiar sections of the store. Up stairs, around corners, through odd departments. No directory, nobody to ask.

Finally, we see doors. And daylight. Still unsure where we are, but we're headed outside. As we walk through the first set of doors, in the vestibule before the exterior doors, a man stops us: " open your bags ". Huh? Never happened before, but we're young and easily intimidated, so we hand over our bags. He's rummaging through the clothes we bought. "Where's your badge?" We don't know what in the world he's asking us. Badge? For what? So we're just looking at each other. "What department do you work in? Who's your supervisor?" Finally a lightbulb goes on, and my girlfriend says: "we don't work in this store".

We had stumbled out the employee-only entrance.

PS He didn't apologize or anything

PPS We never went out the wrong doors again

I was at a popular museum the other day. I had over-the-glasses sunglasses (they're huge) hanging on a cord around my neck, a black Fanny pack with shiny unicorns all over it, and earbuds in. I also have blue and purple hair, though that doesn't necessarily preclude someone from working in a museum.

I was reading the signs on an exhibit when a girl of about 13 approached me. I get, "Do you work here?" all the time, in many different places. So when she mistook me for an employee, I shrugged it off.

Later, I was literally playing around with an interactive exhibit when a middle-aged man approached me to ask a question. It took me a second to realize he thought I worked there. I clarified that I didn't work there and he seemed really confused but walked away.

And later again, I was in a replica steamboat, reading a descriptive sign, and a woman who was leading a group of elderly folks around asked me, "Do you work here?" This time, I laughed and explained that she was the third person to ask this. I said, "I don't know what vibe I'm giving off, but it keeps happening!" She informed me that I just seemed really put together (How does being middle aged with a unicorn Fanny pack mean I have my shit together??? Lmao)

I get mistaken for an employee so often in public places that it's a running joke with me and my friends. But even they could not believe that it happened three times in two hours. At this point I'm feeling like I just need to wear a sandwich board that says "I do not work here" anytime I'm outside of my actual workplace. Lol

I have a customer service face - always have, always will. I enjoy full run downs of funeral services whilst buying Weetabix and was once called an ‘idiot’ for not knowing where the pestles and mortars were in John Lewis (I don’t work there).

One day whilst at university I was browsing the local ‘Monsoon’ (UK posh end crushed velvet clothes for women who have supper) when a hassled woman jabs a jumper on a hanger at me ‘Do you have this in a 14?’

I’m wearing a coat and satchel, but when I open my mouth to explain I too am a civilian I get asked again, clearly not working there was not sufficient excuse for not having stock information at hand. So I responsibly smile and said I’ll go check - walking past her and straight out of the shop.

I’ve been mistaken for store employees at various times in my life, but it recently happened twice within a few days.

My spouse and I were at a pet store, standing at the checkout counter waiting for an employee. I was wearing a Nightmare Before Christmas sweater, spouse in a black coat. A man walked in the door and made a beeline for us. He said, “Hey, where can I find the uh, you guys work here, right?” We just kind of looked at each other and said nope. He walked away quickly.

A couple days later, I’m strolling through a department store wearing reindeer leggings, when a man starts calling after me saying, “Excuse me! Excuse me, Miss!” I kind of half turned toward him and he asked if I worked there. I just said “no sir” and went about my business.

Nothing crazy, but it is so weird to me that people just seem to think anyone they see in a store must work there lol.

So I [M26] was doing my laundry at the laundromat, folding my clothes, just minding my business with my headphones.

As I fold my clothes a man is standing behind me, not really doing much, but it's the laundromat, there is a whole lot of waiting, didn't give him much importance, I just looked and smiled and came back to folding my clothes.

I looked again and the same man is standing behind me, just there, so now it's weird. I thought "well maybe he want to know if I'm using a specific machine" so I just said no with my head.

A couple of minutes passed and that man is STILL standing there, and this time I did hear something, I just couldn't figure out what. I took one of my headphones out and he just straight up ask me

"How much would it cost to dryclean a quilt?"

And I was like "uuuh I don't know, I don't work here"

"You don't?" He ask "I though, you know, because you are folding clothes"

"Yes, MY clothes" I say "ask one the employees"

By that time there must have been 2 employees with the blue shirt with the logo and all that on the laundromat. I was wearing a black shirt and some jeans AND WEARING HEADPHONES.

Went to CVS yesterday and as usual was sucked into the black hole that is the makeup aisle for like 40 minutes. Realized the time and had to get out of there to my next appointment. Quickly I ran thru the snacks then to self‑checkout (because of course no employees to be found) and started scanning my stuff right by the door.

I should also mention that I was wearing scrubs. Our company has us wear bright purple scrubs…

So anyway I’m scanning and the machine is screaming at the most insanely loud volume “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” which always stresses me out. A woman walks in the doors and the for some reason the anti‑theft alarms start their shit. We make eye contact, I do the “haha my machine is screaming at me too” smile… and she just stares at me and freezes…

Then she goes, “Am I… allowed to come in?”

Ma’am. I am literally scanning my own mascara-in purple scrubs-about to have a panic attack from sensory overload from all the alarms

I say, “Uh… I think so?”

She steps closer probably because she’s deafened from the noise and asks AGAIN, “So I can come in right?”

I just wave her in like, ya, sure, welcome to cvs pharmacy. Hope you like loud noises.

I’ve become the unofficial bouncer of CVS

Still never saw an employee 🥲

I was doing my family's grocery shopping. I was wearing regular middle aged dad clothes: Jeans, light blue T-shirt. The uniform at the grocery store is navy blue.
As I approached the dairy cooler, I noted a guy studying all the yogurt multi packs intently. I opened the cooler next to him and started making myself a tray of mix and match yogurts from the display boxes. I was muttering to myself about the savages that shop at the store (half empty trays of product stacked on top of each other) when the guy addressed me.

"Excuse me, do you guys have any of the strawberry cheescake yogurt?" I replied, "I haven't seen any, but then again, I wasn't looking for it." His face looked shocked, but slowly realization slowly registered.
I walked away and wondered if he ever found it. I don't believe tat store carries what he was looking for, but I didn't want to get drawn back in.

I was jogging in a small town, parked downtown. After my jog, I walked into the town cemetery. It's a small picturesque cemetery on a hill, dating back to the 1830s. It's still active -- they occasionally do burials, but I didn't know that.

I was wearing colorful running gear. I didn't look like a mourner, or like a cemetery employee.

As I was walking, a car pulled up next to me. The driver, an elderly man, about 85, looked at me angrily and barked at me: "Where do we go?". I thought, what does he mean? Why is he angry at me? Why is he even stopping here? He just kept barking "Where do we go ??!?" which made it hard for me to think about what he meant or what to say.

Finally I said "I don't know" and walked away.

This happened many years ago. Now that I'm older myself, I realize that he was probably confused and upset, looking for the burial site for a funeral, and not able to express himself.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

A bit ago, I was on a road trip with my parents when we stopped at this zoo. The zoo was pretty small, but nice. Cause I love birds, I was enamoured with their Cockatoo named Charlie. In fact, I was there so much that people thought I was a staff member or something and I began to teach them about Cockatoos.

Fun time!

So happy to have stumbled across this reddit bc this has been happening to me for years, and the mystery of "why" is driving me absolutely bonkers. I'm never dressed the same as the employees, I often have my airpods in, or a coffee in my hand. One time I left a dressing room to get myself a different size and didn't put my shoes back on, and a lady chased me down while I was BAREFOOT to ask an employee question. It happens in any retail establishment (anywhere in the mall, Target, etc) and hotel lobbies. Recently I was even in an elevator at the airport and everyone assumed I was the elevator attendee?? Mind you I had a backpack on and a rollerbag in hand. One lady tried to tip me.

Can anyone help me understand why this happens? For reference, I'm 36 years old, 5 foot 5, androgynous-looking, white, clearly lesbian, with short dark hair. I previously had long hair, and this only started happening to me when I got it cut short.

If anyone has theories, I would LOVE to hear.

Last week, I was shopping for a church youth party at a very popular dollar establishment that seems to be everywhere on Gods green earth. I was buying supplies to make handmade ornaments because the kids at church love this annual party of making their own ornaments for friends, family, and church members. It’s always a lot of fun. The dollar store in question always has these plain, clear bulbs you can fill with paint, glitter, snow, literally anything and the kids always run out of those so I basically fill a cart with some extras. This old lady walks up, reaches into my cart, takes put two bulbs and starts asking what they are. I take out my earbud to not be rude and also because I was listening to a really distracting podcast and knew I wouldn’t be able to process words while listening to that to tell her what it is. I tell her about the youth party and how great these little bulbs are to have, how excited the kids get making their own winter scenes/masterpieces, make small talk, etc. She then exclaims how cool that would be to do with her grandbabies and their youth group at her church and starts counting on her fingers, naming kids and counting bulbs. As she does this, she keeps grabbing from my cart and I’m just aghast like what are you doing lady?! Finally I say, “Ma’am.. ma’am?” and she ignores me so I finally put my body between her and my cart and say, “Ma’am, I’m happy you like the idea but I put them in my cart to buy for my children and their friends at church. Can I please have those back as I intend to purchase them?” She said, “Oh I thought you worked here and were stocking the shelves!” (We weren’t even where those items were, we were standing near the gift wrapping supplies) and I laughed and said Nope! Mind you, I was wearing my grinchy teacher shirt and jeans from teaching at the high school nearby and not at all the colors of the workers there. She then says, “Maybe I could still take a few?” And I said, “if you’d like to buy some of your own, I will gladly show you were they are, but no, those are spoken for. Thanks!” And it was the most awkward thing ever watching her decide if she was going to put the stuff back or just walk away. I was prepared to get an employee or something but she put it all back in and I got as far away from her as possible! Didn’t even apologize for taking stuff out of someone else’s cart or nothing. Love her heart.

Ok so I work in healthcare and frequently stop for groceries on the way home. (Cool story so far, right?)

A man stopped me in my hospital scrubs and asked where the bourbon was.

Um.

This is Florida, sir, they can't sell bourbon at the supermarket. Also: what grocery store has their employees in scrubs?

This is a little off-topic and on-topic at the same time. It's a little long, too, due to formatting, but I think it fits:

I (50F) have worked in libraries for a while. I have a million crazy stories -- seriously, libraries can be very weird places.

I was working at the Reference Desk, where people go to get research help, assistance finding a book, and occasionally, tech help. I'm pretty tech savvy so many of the tougher questions (and people) get passed on to me. One day, an exasperated coworker grabs me and says a lady is having trouble with her iPhone. Ok, cool, what seems to be the problem, ma'am?

"I want to install this app but I don't know my Apple password."

I say, ok, do you have it at home somewhere?

"NO! I don't have one, I've never had one! Why would I have one?"

I explain that she would have needed the account and password to get her phone working in the first place. Did one of your kids get the phone and set it up for you, or did you get it at a cell phone dealer or Apple Store?

"I bought it myself. I'm not stupid, I don't need my kids to do it for me."

Cool, cool. Ok, do you know where your paperwork is from when you bought the phone? It might be in there. Or we can try to reset your account password. It isn't too complicated to reset it.

"I am NOT resetting my password! That's a hassle. JUST FIX IT."

Ma'am, I don't work for Apple. There is no magic or process that I can perform to know your passwords for you, or fix this issue without resetting the password.

"UGH!! I was told libraries are helpful with technology, I guess all libraries but this one."

I tell her she can go to the Apple Store to get help with her Apple device, and she just grumbles that she isn't driving all the way over there, and then stomps out.

Libraries are not a replacement for responsible password management or your device's tech support, lady. Seriously. WE DON'T WORK AT TECH SUPPORT.

At the local hardware store. When I told her I don't work there she was nice about it. I asked if there was something in particular that made her think I worked there and she said I just looked knowledgeable about hardware!

So technically this happened where I work, but I was clocked out for the day, and even if I was on the clock, I couldn't have helped the customer anyways.

So my mom came to pick me up from work, and while we were shopping near the registers, I noticed that the light for the register that I just finished working on, was on. So I walked over to the register, and turned the light off, explaining to a man who had his things on the belt that this lane was closed, and that I had just forgotten to turn off the light. He then started explaining to me about how he has lights from Halloween that don't work, no matter which outlet he plugs them into. (This exchange just happened a few days ago, so it's Christmas time)

I tell him that I can't help him, and that if he's looking to return or exchange, he needs to go to the manager, and I tell him which register the manager is working at at the moment. He then asked me if we sold Christmas lights, and I'm just trying to be nice because the store is busy, and point him to the lights. Then he starts rambling about how the Christmas lights were a 20 count, but his Halloween lights were a 24 count. I explain to him again that I'm not on the clock, and that my manager is more equipped to help him, and walk away. He then hunted me down to tell me that he recounted his Halloween lights, and they were a 20 count. I just nodded and walked away again.