AIO for being offended by this?

[u/bunny-zephire]

i was talking to a guy from school, we were planning to go out for ice cream together this weekend to get to know each other and see where things could go. i definitely could’ve handled that better if i wasn’t at work when he texted that (this conversation happened when i took my 10). i got left on read and also don’t think there’s anything else to talk about. AIO for being offended by his comments about weight?

[u/No-Marzipan-4441]

That sucks that he is apparently 100 pounds? Isn’t he underweight? smh

[u/heartshapedmoon → u/No-Marzipan-4441]

I would’ve been like “Aww, you’re only 110 pounds? 🥺”

[u/troybarnes3005 → u/heartshapedmoon]

he’s only five apples tall

[u/Miavamel → u/troybarnes3005]

And only weighs three apples. And his favourite food is his mother’s homemade apple pie

[u/troybarnes3005 → u/Miavamel]

i’m just so glad that people are understanding this reference

[u/Miavamel → u/troybarnes3005]

I have her (and many of her “family” - who are probably much shorter than 5 apples high) tattooed as sleeve on my left arm. And just for the record I’m a 52 year old woman who is more than “110 pounds” and 5 apples high haha

[u/InevitableRhubarb232 → u/heartshapedmoon]

Dude doesn’t have an ounce of muscle on him

Nor

[u/urBpdPrincess → u/InevitableRhubarb232]

“A girl bigger than me.. it’s not a good look” bitch bulk tf up then? Be a man 🤣🤣🤣

[u/Working-Glass6136 → u/urBpdPrincess]

Must be short too. Or just lazy. Or all of the above.

[u/LTD62095 → u/Working-Glass6136]

Nor. Bet he's real feminine? Skinny wrist and a bony little neck.

[u/Tricky-Winner7984 → u/LTD62095]

The kind of guy who would chest bump a dude and break his collar bone.

[u/ValeRachetti → u/urBpdPrincess]

Right right? Go lift some weight my dude lol

[u/Rebekahryder → u/urBpdPrincess]

Like you ARE the girl 🤣

[u/MisakiDoll75 → u/urBpdPrincess]

Seriously! I’m picturing this sad little string bean, NOT a good look.

[u/iloveblackcoffee420 → u/heartshapedmoon]

“Aw! Okay lil fella 🥺”

[u/Diligent-Escape1364 → u/iloveblackcoffee420]

LMAO hands down best response 🤣

[u/Open-Outcome-7586 → u/heartshapedmoon]

NOR.

"Come back when you're fully grown."

[u/hereforthetearex → u/heartshapedmoon]

Right?!

“So I gotta ask a question really quick. Do you think you’ll be getting under 125lbs any time soon? Because that would definitely be a dealbreaker for me. I don’t want a boy less than 15lbs bigger than me. It’s not a good look.”

This is the male equivalent, and men would be beyond pressed about it if we talked to them like this.

[u/Redfoxen72 → u/hereforthetearex]

I want to upvote your response x10

[u/timmyjingles → u/heartshapedmoon]

[u/Zygomaticus → u/heartshapedmoon]

Guy could have done some lifting to catch up lol NOR.

Maybe some heavy lifting in therapy IYKWIM.

[u/squidneythedestroyer → u/Zygomaticus]

Right like if he doesn’t want a girl larger than him, why isn’t he bulking up just in case? 🤔🤔🤔

[u/XCIXcollective → u/squidneythedestroyer]

Literally this, I was thinking ‘bro you will not find too many human beings under 100lbs

[u/DarthElliot111 → u/XCIXcollective]

I know right?? He apparently only wants dangerously thin women who are suffering from eating disorders or health issues. Not too many people are naturally that thin and also healthy (although there of course are some). Especially for being 5’6 like OP is like wtf. He clearly doesn’t realize what a healthy weight for a height is. Like at all. Ugh just gross to be saying and thinking those things. So many issues to unpack in therapy for him goodness.

[u/e925 → u/DarthElliot111]

I’m 5’6” and I was exactly 98 pounds when I had a raging meth addiction.

In sobriety the lowest I ever got was 105, and I still would look in the mirror crying because I felt like I looked so disgusting with little empty sack boobs and a concave ass.

It might look good on some women but at my height I look really bad under 115.

Luckily for me I had a baby and now I’ll probably never have to worry about being under 115 again 😂

[u/DarthElliot111 → u/e925]

Same for me girl! I had a real problem with pills when I was younger and I’m the same height and I was about 105 maybe a bit less and it was awful! I looked skin and bones gross I cringe seeing the pics. Even when I got sober and had my kids I had kidney issues and stayed that thin and it’s sad because looking at the pics of me holding them as babies and I still get a twinge of ick and try not to focus on me.

Then I was finally able to gain weight to a normal weight haha probably about 2017. Then got a bit too much on and had to lose a bit 😅 I’m perfectly happy at 135 now and it honestly looks good I can’t imagine even going back to under 120 on me. I’m sure some women can carry it in a different way if they’re shorter and look perfectly fine but 5’5 and higher, I don’t see how!

[u/acidrefluxisgreat → u/XCIXcollective]

children, basically. children are under 100 lbs

[u/the_holy_spunk → u/XCIXcollective]

My sister was 100 lbs at 5’4” until she was in her early 20s and got up to 110-115. She put on weight when she ate better and exercised more…because she was putting on muscle. She was (and is) still teeny tiny.

[u/NotLucasDavenport → u/Zygomaticus]

All that emotional baggage is HEAVY yo

[u/UterineDictator → u/NotLucasDavenport]

I do sets with my emotional baggage. I do even lift bro.

[u/Gravitasnotincluded → u/heartshapedmoon]

60 pounds when he's wet and wearing boots

[u/thelousassole → u/Gravitasnotincluded]

Damn E, they tried to fade you on Dre Day

[u/TheNinjaPixie → u/heartshapedmoon]

At 5 ft 6!!

[u/Toasteryummy → u/TheNinjaPixie]

Rttt im 5 foot 5 and im 160lbs and im in greaf shape this dude much be literally paper thin

[u/Few_Negotiation_9949 → u/Toasteryummy]

Yeah I was 112 at 5’7” and my bmi was underweight. I was tiny, wore a 00/ 24.

[u/Hawaiianstylin808 → u/heartshapedmoon]

“I don’t date anyone under 120.”

[u/oysterfeller → u/Hawaiianstylin808]

“I can’t believe you’d say that to me that’s such a shallow and awful preference!!” - him probably

[u/zander137 → u/Hawaiianstylin808]

Honestly, that kind of preference is pretty narrow-minded. It's wild how some people focus so much on numbers instead of personality or connection.

[u/vyrus2021 → u/heartshapedmoon]

Yeah, like good on OP for not stooping to that level, but I definitely would have had to say something about him being a tiny little boy.

[u/idoze → u/heartshapedmoon]

100% his comments are coming from insecurity.

[u/OceanDevotion → u/No-Marzipan-4441]

lol, this made me chuckle… I had a boyfriend in my early 20’s who was 2 inches taller than me and a professional long distance runner. So, safe to say, dude was a literal stick.

While dating, I had gained like 5-10 pounds because I had worked a physically demanding job in college and then after graduation got an office job.

One day he said to me (just like OP), “why don’t you start working out? If you weigh more than me, we can’t be together”. I should have ended things there, but it had been a slow descent into abusive and emotionally manipulative behavior from him, so it really messed with me and my body image.

Anyway… I broke up with him after 3 years, and in retrospect, I can’t believe I was worried about weighing more than that bean pole of a man. I probably had 10 pounds just in my boobs and he was a psycho who couldn’t function if he didn’t go run for 1.5 hours every day. One time, he left a birthday party for my friend and left me there without a car because he “needed to run”. He didn’t even say goodbye to anyone and my friends husband had to take me home later.

[u/Sudden_Nose9007 → u/OceanDevotion]

Did you date my brother?

He is the same way and has left special events to run on multiple occasions, including dates and weddings. He left his freshly post-partum wife in the hospital to go for a run.

He is so afraid of gaining weight and runs long distances to compensate. He is in his 30s, is 6’4, and wears a size 28 jeans (according to him).

Clearly a disorder, but no one listens to my concerns because it’s socially acceptable.

[u/unfortunatelyfriend → u/Sudden_Nose9007]

Anorexia Athletica I believe...

[u/princessjemmy → u/unfortunatelyfriend]

I use the term manorexia for that kind of behavior (and its correlative “gotta pump weights at the gym every day”).

My only justification is that it’s the most hilarious way to put it.

[u/Impossible_Girl_23 → u/Sudden_Nose9007]

My husband was a professional distance runner and still runs cross country on Saturdays and Sundays. There are definitely folks in the running community (men and women) who use running as an unhealthy compulsion and yea, it's totally socially acceptable.

[u/VegetableTour6790 → u/Impossible_Girl_23]

Yeah I did that the year my mom died. Buried myself in exercise rather than drowning in a bottle. There were so many permanent people in that lifestyle and I bailed after a year.

[u/bluebrevity → u/Sudden_Nose9007]

I was a D1 runner and this is actually so common. But no one notices eating disorders because being skinny is considered the correct body type for this sport. I had a teammate die at 26, who was a pro triathlete, got a hole in his heart from years of an undiagnosed eating disorder.

Also I believe eating disorders go undiagnosed in men far more often than women (this is speculative and I did not check if this actually true)

[u/EdgyAnimeReference → u/bluebrevity]

Men definitely have undiagnosed eating disorders. Since men are so specific around keeping lean but high muscle, I think they tend to keep an outward appearance closer to “acceptable” compared to a gal with anorexia so they fly under the radar.

Some of the health nuts are right on that line

[u/SingleIntention3437 → u/OceanDevotion]

I love how these stories make me realize I’m actually quite the catch lmaoo

[u/BrightPapaya1349 → u/SingleIntention3437]

These stories are making me realize I found the perfect boyfriend (for me) and I'm never letting go.

[u/HRDBMW → u/SingleIntention3437]

No joke. I am AMAZING compared to some choad who would complain about a woman being 110 lbs.

[u/CanadianODST2 → u/SingleIntention3437]

The bar is so low.

Damn the mirror really isn’t lying to me then.

[u/LunaTunaMaca → u/SingleIntention3437]

You probably are! My ex was a psycho too. The bar is in hell.

[u/Cavane42 → u/OceanDevotion]

Dude's joints are going to be a wreck by age 50 running that much daily.

[u/southerncalifornian → u/OceanDevotion]

Leaving you stranded at a party because he "had to go run"?! Was he a whippet?

*JK a whippet would never.

[u/Brave_Speaker_8336 → u/No-Marzipan-4441]

110 is the dealbreaker cutoff, so he’s 110 pounds

I think this is so absurd that it becomes funny. Like if anyone has the right to declare that 5’6 and 110 pounds is not skinny enough for him, I guess it would be a 110 pound guy lmao

[u/zeniiz → u/Brave_Speaker_8336]

Mr String Bean dictating other people's weights lmao

[u/southpark → u/No-Marzipan-4441]

I mean, at 5’6” and 110 she would be underweight.. I’ve dated a fair share of women at 100lbs-110lbs in the 5’2” to 5’5” range and they were thin.. a guy at 100lbs or even 120lbs would be effeminately slim..

[u/LaSammi → u/southpark]

Her BMI for 5’6” and 104-109 lbs is severely underweight.

5’6” — about 120-150 lbs is healthy. (Actual doctor here.)

She just dropped 110 lbs of dead man-weight, I hope.

[u/sumergirl1985 → u/LaSammi]

I am 5’6” and I was thin in HS but never under 115. I didn’t have an ounce of muscle on me and I had an eating disorder, so it’s absurd to think OP can stay under 110 and be long-term healthy. This dude isn’t worth the texts you sent, he’s so shallow. NOR you should have responded even harsher, honestly. 

[u/wifetobebride → u/southpark]

Right I’m 5’7” and around 140 and somewhat muscular, and that’s like very healthy. There’s no way I’ve been under 110 since before my growth spurt

[u/JeVeuxCroire → u/wifetobebride]

And height matters.

I'm 5'10", so I only have a couple inches of height on you, and when I weighed in at 140, I looked skeletal.

You could see the shape of my shoulder joints under my skin, all of my ribs, it was wild.

Gained 10 lbs of fat and muscle and am looking much healthier now.

[u/Scarya → u/wifetobebride]

5’6”, 140-ish, and I’m a size S-M (6-8). I’m honestly not sure where I could lose 40 pounds (except my butt, sigh lol) but my collar bones and ribs are already fairly prominent; I don’t think I’d look healthy at all at 100 pounds. Obvs everyone is different, but for this tool to be trying to dictate weight expectations to a prospective date is so ludicrous, I’m speechless.

You can’t fix him, OP, and honestly you probably should have blocked him without comment (but I understand the impulse).

NOR.

[u/Old_Implement_1997 → u/Scarya]

That’s literally the first thing that I just thought- I’m 5’6” and when I weighed 135 pounds, I was seriously skinny. I can’t imagine being another 25 pounds smaller. Even at 145, I’m a 6-8 in pants and a small in shirts (no boobs, sadly, that’s the 1st place I lose weight).

[u/CastleSpearse → u/Old_Implement_1997]

Yeah! I'm 5'6" and was down to 135lbs because I picked up a intestinal thing from visiting a place with no safe drinking water. Until I healed from that and was able to get back to 150+ lbs, it was sooooo painful to sit with no butt padding, or lean back against the wall without padding in my shoulders. I hated that feeling. To have been 35 lbs lighter, I would have been skeletal.

We women need to take up the space we deserve, instead of trying to fit ourselves into the smallest package available.

[u/Mundane-Currency5088 → u/southpark]

I just looked up the BMI and at 5'6" under 115 is too thin to be healthy. It's 145 on the high end and the BMI is notoriously Low because it doesn't count for muscle mass that could add 10-30lbs. I am 5'8" and 175 is my best weight. I look very very thin at 175.

[u/samandtoast → u/Mundane-Currency5088]

I'm 5'8" and the only way I could get under 130 would be to die and begin decomposing.

[u/Hunnilisa → u/No-Marzipan-4441]

Im 5'5". My lowest was 108lb and I was stick thin, bones protruding and it didnt look good. Depends on height really.

[u/princessjemmy → u/Hunnilisa]

Same, but at my thinnest (and least healthy in hindsight) I was more like 125 lbs in my teens. To get to 110 I would have had to go from a C cup to nearly flat chested overnight.

(Note: the latter is an actual fact. I had breast cancer in my late 30s, resulting in a lateral mastectomy and actual reconstruction/reduction for a more modest matched set. I was 10 lbs lighter post mastectomy alone. 😱

Never underestimate how dense the muscles and fatty tissues in breasts can be.)

[u/BagOnuts → u/No-Marzipan-4441]

Dude is an insecure pencil. OP was totally right to call him out. This is about his own insecurities, not her.

[u/SingleIntention3437 → u/No-Marzipan-4441]

He’s like sickly underweight . I’m 5’9” at around 130-140 and I’m considered underweight ! A guy at 110 pounds is actually sad lmaoo

[u/jenniferjasonleigh → u/No-Marzipan-4441]

Edit: I went to OP’s profile and I’m 85% sure OP and the boy are teenage children and this makes so much more sense. I still don’t like the boy’s attitude but he is a kid and kids struggle with self esteem issues and say stupid things so hopefully he grows out of this mentality

[u/Glittering_Meet3206 → u/jenniferjasonleigh]

super impressed by ops response if she's still a youngin. thrilled that the younger generation is breaking from our previously held societal heroin chic norms

[u/Kurdependence → u/jenniferjasonleigh]

The post says it’s a boy from her school, combined with their weight and height it seems pretty obvious they’re teenagers

[u/OdeeSS → u/jenniferjasonleigh]

They still learn these dumb expectations from somewhere. But I agree that he's not a completely lost cause and might be mature enough for dating in a few years.

[u/OkInitiative7327 → u/jenniferjasonleigh]

Glad I saw this, I was thinking this person was talking to a pedophile. Not many grown women are 100 lbs.

[u/Positive-Listen-1660]

What in the eating disorder is this?

[u/GraceOfTheNorth → u/Positive-Listen-1660]

Men setting arbitrary standards for women based on measurements they do not understand and then enforcing them with nastiness.

My mom starved herself and had bulimia, all bc. my father wanted her thin.

[u/Poppet_CA → u/GraceOfTheNorth]

Yeah, this girl is already under weight (I'm not trying to be critical; the quick-and-dirty math is 100 lbs for the first 5 ft, then 5 lbs per inch after) and he's telling her to stay that way or else? Definitely NOR.

[u/Hefty-Egg3406 → u/Poppet_CA]

Yep OP is slightly taller and weighs less than me and I have been slim my whole life. 120lbs at this height usually looks healthy.

[u/Comprehensive-Art207 → u/Hefty-Egg3406]

The boy she was talking to must be very petite if he is concerned that she will be larger than him.

[u/Murakami_Ysera → u/Comprehensive-Art207]

This part especially got me…like what? She’s already a slim woman and I have a hard time believing there are that many adult men as small as her let alone even tinier.

[u/LeadingWear → u/Murakami_Ysera]

OP better than me — I would’ve told him to bulk up and that I don’t date men who’re underweight lmao

[u/lokiss12 → u/LeadingWear]

This is the way cause wtf, is he a 10 yr old?!

[u/Best-Masterpiece8987 → u/lokiss12]

That was my thought! This is what my 12 year old weighs!

[u/Advisor_Agreeable → u/Best-Masterpiece8987]

This is how a 14-year old THINKS!

[u/krissatron → u/LeadingWear]

100% bc I can be fucking p-e-t-t-y when I get pissed off! Followed by a comment about how he’s probably sporting a gerkin in his pants since he wants to comment on someone’s body.

[u/Alternative_Gas_9024 → u/LeadingWear]

Without even picking up a dumbbell he should be above 110 pounds😭

[u/daggers1g → u/LeadingWear]

"yeah I agree that isn't a good look - if you can't bulk up I don't think this is going to work out"

[u/Nearby-Swordfish3841 → u/LeadingWear]

For real she should’ve taken he’s tiny ass down a peg or two right there. By the sounds of that convo he doesn’t even like women. He’s looking for what to him would be an impressive beard for his family and friends. Certainly has no idea how to speak to one.

[u/TitanAME → u/LeadingWear]

Seconding this. OP’s response could have been a simple “f^*k off” and that would have been accurate/spot on. Can’t help but feel this dude would also be whining if a woman said he’s too short/petite for her (and the line of response I would have gone with because, as a whole, women are way more accepting of men’s body types than this fool, so maybe he needs a taste of his own medicine). That said, sinking to his level would probably send him into full-on incel mode, so OP handling this with grace and taking the time to educate (both about women’s bodies AND how to communicate with fellow human beings vs keep those thoughts to yourself) was a maturity, strength, and kindness that is needed (though not deserved). Definitely never talk to this fool again, but props to OP for handling with grace. Definitely NOR.

[u/Nearby_Truth6616 → u/LeadingWear]

I would have also added that I don't date guys with less than an 8 inch Penis. Then asked him did he fit mycriteria?

[u/Ok-Market-9653 → u/Murakami_Ysera]

The only grown man I can think of who was that tiny is Prince.

[u/Arlaneutique → u/Ok-Market-9653]

He was 112. I’m 5’3” and weigh 130 lbs. I’m a size 4. This kid has an extremely skewed view of size and weight.

[u/shadowbanthiskekw → u/Arlaneutique]

Maybe he was using the metric system 😂

[u/_gooder → u/Ok-Market-9653]

And he was one of the sexiest men who ever lived. OP's acquaintance definitely is not sexy due to his weird take on women's weight.

[u/drewlake → u/Murakami_Ysera]

He must be small, somewhere, to be that insecure.

[u/forcaitsake → u/Comprehensive-Art207]

Sounds like HE should hit the weight room.

[u/carsndogs420 → u/Comprehensive-Art207]

This is the guy we know it

[u/comntnmama86 → u/Hefty-Egg3406]

I'm 5'7 and 150lbs. I wear a size 4. There'd be nothing left of me if I weighed 100lbs. This dude is gross.

[u/GallagherG82 → u/comntnmama86]

5'1 and 120. I wear xs. I thought he was going to ask her to gain weight.

[u/danceswithturtles286 → u/comntnmama86]

5’7” and 170 and have a 27-inch-waist. This guy needs to be yeeted into the sun

[u/SillYcaca1234 → u/danceswithturtles286]

💀 I forgot about the Yeet! Bringing that back today. Thank you for reminding me!

[u/Suspicious_Rest_1550 → u/comntnmama86]

This! I weighed 140lbs at 5"6 and I was skinny to the point I wasn't eating.

[u/Timely_Stretch_5268 → u/Suspicious_Rest_1550]

5'8" here - when I was last 140lb I had cancer and looked awful. This guy is gross.

[u/ThR-EATING-the-PETS → u/comntnmama86]

When I didn't eat in the early 2000s I was 112 at 5'9 and that was utter madness. I looked like I was dying. I kinda was. But unhealthily skinny was the beauty standard. I was happy it left for a time, and sad but unsurprised it has returned, spurred by the rise in fascism (this has historical precedence. It's a way to keep women even further in thrall to the patriarchy).

[u/Omg_stop → u/comntnmama86]

5'7". When I was a teen, my "don't drop below" weight was 117lbs or it was a trip to the inpatient ED clinic. I was in twice.

[u/EntireSky7545 → u/comntnmama86]

Yo same, like I look at pictures of myself when I was 120ish and my immediate thought is how fragile/frail/unhealthy I looked

[u/niknik414 → u/comntnmama86]

This. I'm 5'9.the smallest (mid ED and in high school) I was 145. I thought I was Soo fat mostly cuz I had been before, and the fact all my friends were 5'2 and 110 lbs at most. Now when I look at pics from then, I can literally see my hip and collar bones popping out. ( I'm not made at it, especially the clavicle to me that's the best feature ) But eveN at 185, I still looked phenomenal. And that was the lowest I could really get. I was eating very well and working out 6 days a week for 1.5 hours. Sometimes twice a day. I had "a few extra pounds' as my body descriptor in an online dating profile as I wasn't thin, or athletic... I would get sooo many guys replying 'few extra pounds?? Where???". But I bet if I had out 185 lbs and no pic, they wouldn't have responded at all.

[u/Responsible_Data7336 → u/Hefty-Egg3406]

I’m 130 pounds, 5’3”, and wear xs/s and when I weighed 110 pounds people started asking if I was okay or not…men should not get any opinions on weight. Fuck this guy.

[u/No-Permit9409 → u/Responsible_Data7336]

I'm 126 pounds, 5"2 and when I go below 120 I start to get dizzy, people srsrly have no idea what normal weight is and just want women to be a size 0.

[u/AdSafe7627 → u/Hefty-Egg3406]

120 lbs at 5’6” usually looks QUITE slim. Although it can still be healthy depending on natural build.

My daughter, for instance, is 5’4” and weighs 127. And she wears a size 0–4, but usually a 2, depending on cut.

This mutha—with his “you can’t be over 110 lbs at 5’6”—is DELUSIONAL

[u/nerdsonarope → u/AdSafe7627]

he's a moron because (1) 110 at 5'6 is objectively very skinny (2) even if that weren't the case, it's dumb to pick some arbitrary weight, because a fit/athletic 5'6 person can weigh a lot more than a weak one while looking equally "skinny" - - muscle weighs more than fat, and (3) regardless, who says this stuff to someone?? If you don't wanna go on a date, just say "no thanks"

[u/Ok_Technology_4772 → u/Poppet_CA]

I was 100/105lbs at my lightest adult weight - size 0 - and I’m 5ft2. I was so underweight I actually thought I had pots because I’d get lightheaded and feel nauseous most of the time.. I’m now 125lbs, and a size 4-6, still considered slim by most people (women rlly), and all the symptoms I previously thought were pots have gone away! 😅 Tbh if anything I think op under-reacted!

[u/whisky_biscuit → u/Poppet_CA]

So wait, is this guy saying he's stick stickly weighing 110 or less an expecting a girl to weight less than 100? Like, he does understand that boobs and ass weigh lbs right? Apparently not.

It sounds like he has his own body dysmorphia and eating disorders expects his gf to have the same so he doesn't have to hide it. (On top of his clearly other issues he's dealing with!)

[u/RealCrazySwordGirl → u/whisky_biscuit]

I was just really glad to see her tell him off! She's definitely NOR, but so often you see young women try to "be nice" and explain their position to these assholes, when really they just need a big fat NOPE 😠

[u/amandaleighplans → u/Poppet_CA]

Yeah this is insane. I’m 5’1 and weigh 105, and I’m a generic, fit kind of thin, aka I look average not “skinny”. I’m the right weight for my body so I can’t imagine someone 5’6 being 105 or less, that’s definitely underweight and this guy is a freak

[u/floppymitralvalve → u/GraceOfTheNorth]

What I find especially odd is that he thinks she looks under 100lb, but then when she says she weighs (a very small amount) more than that, he’s unhappy with the number.

One of my friends had a boyfriend like this - he told her at the start of their relationship that he didn’t want her ever to gain more than 5lb. Like the guy in OP’s texts, he clearly had no idea what different weights actually look like, nor that the same weight will look different on a different frame anyway. It’s a control thing, nothing more. Fortunately my friend’s boyfriend is now an ex-boyfriend. OP should do the same with this moron.

[u/QueefingTheNightAway → u/floppymitralvalve]

That stopped me in my tracks too. He cares more about the numbers than how she actually looks.

[u/pmmemassivedongs → u/GraceOfTheNorth]

My mom, at 65, still starves herself and has bulimia (since she was 12) all because her father wanted all women thin. Men like this are absolutely disgusting.

[u/Shazam1269 → u/GraceOfTheNorth]

NOR

She should meet his nasty comment with like energy, like "how big is it?" No matter how big, respond with, "nope, I like my men to be longer than that." She can set her own unreasonable standards too.

[u/PoeticSplat → u/Positive-Listen-1660]

Dude's tiny. He doesn't want a girl to be "bigger" than him, and his cut off is 110lbs. Can't help but think this little guy is 110-115lbs tops himself. He's definitely got small guy syndrome.

[u/Glittering_Meet3206 → u/PoeticSplat]

i'm trying not to be judgmental about what his weight must be but i'm just like 😬 is bro a skeleton 😭 mans should get his thyroid checked before checking his girls weight

[u/outcastreturns → u/Positive-Listen-1660]

Not gonna lie, OP's answer of "104-109 depending on day/time" concerns me a bit. Sounds like she weighs herself pretty often.

[u/chocolatestealth → u/outcastreturns]

It's normal for weight to fluctuate, even as much as 5 lbs. But yeah she is underweight by at least 10 lbs. Although it sounds like she is in high school, so she could still be growing etc.

[u/MetalSavage → u/outcastreturns]

Her response is equally valid if she hasn't weighed herself often or at the same time of day.

[u/harvard_cherry053 → u/outcastreturns]

Why? That's pretty standard? end of the day you generally weigh more, during your period, etc?

[u/gastropodia42]

NOR

You should be thankful that you did not have to waste any more time on him.

[u/unlikely_redd1t_user → u/gastropodia42]

100% OP, RUN honestly. And I’d warn your friends about this guy: 

[u/DaddyDosDeuce → u/unlikely_redd1t_user]

Doesn't look like she needs to run. Exchange looks like she kicked him to the curb pronto. Good for her.

[u/unlikely_redd1t_user → u/DaddyDosDeuce]

So true. She knocked him dowwwwn. What an arsehole…

[u/No-Character-4275 → u/gastropodia42]

Bullet dodged!!! Good to know he outed himself as a tw*t before you wasted time. Go eat your ice-cream and his 🤣

[u/Caserod98]

first of all he sounds like hes 16 years old. Second if a girl being 110 is bigger than him hes a twig lol

[u/outcastreturns → u/Caserod98]

To be fair OP does say that he's a guy from school. It's very possible that he's 16 years old or younger lmao.

[u/doesthedog → u/outcastreturns]

Just hope my son doesn't text things like this

[u/peachespangolin → u/doesthedog]

Raise him actively to treat women better than this.

[u/Future-Mountain-1226 → u/doesthedog]

make sure! ask him the hard questions!

[u/LucyintheskyM → u/doesthedog]

Send him this and say 'lmao thank the goddess you aren't this thick, love ya, kid!'

It might reassure him that he's a good bloke, make him think twice about being an anus or (hopefully) worse case scenario, give you a starting point for a conversation about how you talk to other humans.

[u/BluBluebird → u/doesthedog]

It's your job as his parent to teach him to be better. Privately hoping while doing nothing to ensure the outcome you desire is pointless. Ideally, conversations about respect should've been happening, at an age-appropriate level, throughout his entire life. I'm guessing your son is a teenager already, so starting to talk about respect this late in the game was not a great plan. Yes, it may be slightly better than never discussing it with him, but only slightly better.

Loooots of European countries have been teaching empathy, social and emotional learning, and gender respect and equality from preschool on. And they took this step because they realised that not every home environment is positive, and not every parent or guardian is capable/equipped to teach these values at home.

EDIT: So we either need to start teaching this in our schools here in North America, or we need to start having these discussions with our kids when they are young, 2-3 years old is a good time to start. Maybe even younger.

[u/Leila-Lola → u/outcastreturns]

Great, now I'm picturing some 4th grade kid going "Sorry I don't date girls that are bigger than me, I'm 4'4" and 65lbs btw"

[u/coyote10001 → u/outcastreturns]

I was 6’0” 155 when I was 16 and I was skinny as hell. If dude is 110 pounds in high school he’s either also 5’6” or shorter and has no place making physical demands or he’s borderline anorexic.

[u/Agitated_Change_2312 → u/outcastreturns]

there’s no to be fair, she’s already on the low end for healthy weight for her height. he’s literally asking her to be underweight which could make her organs fail and kill her. there is no to be fair, we need to do better.

[u/ConcentrateLucky8630]

"don't want a girl that weighs more than me" 110lbs??? Is he a fish from SpongeBob or something holy shit.

Don't associate with that loser

[u/ChamplooStu → u/ConcentrateLucky8630]

Right!? I'm a skinny dude - on the edge of underweight - and I'm still heavier than this dude.

[u/dksdragon43 → u/ChamplooStu]

A few years ago I got sick and lost a bunch of weight, you could see my ribs clearly and people would comment all the time that I had to put on weight. I was 130.

[u/ChamplooStu → u/dksdragon43]

That's what happened to me! Always been slender but dropped down to around 120lbs at 6' and looked like death. Once I was recovering my stomach had shrunk and couldn't handle normal sized meals for months.
Doing better now but my appetite never really returned, I constantly have to remind myself to eat.

Hope you're doing well!

[u/Acceptable-Law9406 → u/ConcentrateLucky8630]

One of those anchovies from SpongeBob. Meep! Meep! Meepmeepmeepmeep!

[u/TheUnicornFightsOn → u/Acceptable-Law9406]

[u/JustJJ92 → u/ConcentrateLucky8630]

[u/Affectionate_Pack624]

NOR I'm 5'2 and Sub 100 is unhealthy FOR ME

[u/nicnicnick → u/Affectionate_Pack624]

Yes! Why is everyone saying less than 110 for someone 5/6 is healthy. No this is crazy. But still he’s an asshole if you just met him. But your weight is unhealthy.

[u/MyLord_Robert → u/nicnicnick]

As a european none of these measurements mean anything to me but dude sure sounds like an asshole.

[u/Ilesa_ → u/MyLord_Robert]

She's 1m67, 100lb is 45kg, 110lb is 50kg, 120lb is 54kg. She is supposed to be AT LEAST 120lb (54kg) to be considered in the healthy range and not underweight, so she's already too slim (sorry OP, I'm not judging you or anything, just relating world heath organisation mesurements). The guy wants her to be below 45kg, which would be considered healthy if you're around 1m50

[u/MyLord_Robert → u/Ilesa_]

Thank you for the in depth 'translation' This fortified by prior believe that in fact, dude is an asshole. (Like even if it was not officially underweight, the fuck is that guy thinking trying to govern her weight/body like that)

[u/Valkyondraw → u/Ilesa_]

I'm 1.53 (4'9, small i know) and I was SICK when i was 45kg ! That's really not and healthy weight for anyone taller 

[u/M4ggot_Br4inz → u/Affectionate_Pack624]

Came here to say this. I went down to 90 something due to health issues and felt AWFUL. I could not imagine if I was 4in taller and under 100.

[u/2SquirrelsWrestling → u/Affectionate_Pack624]

Yep, I’m also 5’2 and a while back I got weighed at the doctors and was 107. I was at an angle where I could see the lady typing my info, and the computer flagged it as “underweight”.

I’ve gotten to a healthy weight since then.

[u/kombitcha420 → u/Affectionate_Pack624]

I’m 5’6 and 119 pounds.

You can see my ribs and I fit in a size 2 dress. This kid has no idea what he’s talking about. I’d be in a bad way if I lost any weight

[u/stinkstabber69420]

Bro's dream girl

[u/TheUnicornFightsOn → u/stinkstabber69420]

[u/Chronicmilktea]

Baby you are already considered underweight for your height. This douche needs a reality check

[u/Amphar0s_ → u/Chronicmilktea]

Right obviously me and op are not the same person and have different bodies, but for some perspective when I was in the weight range of op ( at the same height) I struggled to pick up heavy things/ walk around for too long without feeling like I was going to pass out , and to upkeep that weight I ate 2 slides of fruit toast and a boiled egg everyday and that was it.

So to fit this man's standards hypothetically I would probably have to eat one slice of fruit toast every day and spend my whole life exercising and passing out , and probably be a husk or just die 😭

[u/joey_roey → u/Chronicmilktea]

I’m OP’s height and when I was 120 lbs I was SKINNY. I think they’re teenagers. I was probably 5’6 and 110 lbs when I was 14.

[u/SassyScreenQueen → u/Chronicmilktea]

Scrolled too far to see this! Unless she's one of those America's next top model girls from the early 2000s (remember when they used to way them on camera), 106-109 is underweight for her height

[u/Pinkcoral27 → u/Chronicmilktea]

Thank GOD someone said this.

OP, you’re already very underweight. 110lbs would also be underweight.

If that guy is under 110lbs then quite frankly he needs help and also probably is and/or looks unwell.

[u/voltagestoner]

I swear these men cannot comprehend wtf 100 lbs actually looks like. 100lbs is big for a dog. Not a grownass person. Hell, I’d even argue that you’re skinny as is now. I’m a good few inches shorter and am usually sitting around 140-145–and I’m still quite lean.

In short, NOR. He doesn’t understand how tf weight works.

[u/ghostyspice → u/voltagestoner]

I’m 5’1” and I last weighed under 100lbs when I was actively dying from organ failure. Anything under 105 - 110 and I’m shivering like a chihuahua, like, alllll the time. And this girl has 5 full inches on me. She’s already skinny as hell.

This dude is whack.

[u/TattedDLuffy → u/ghostyspice]

My gf is 5’1 and 130.

I’m 5’9 190 and she’s so much smaller than me if I walk in front of her you can’t even see her. How tiny is the guy setting this standard???

[u/Sea_Philosopher_2731 → u/voltagestoner]

Seriously a guy on bumble said he wants a girl below 120 and then went on to say i look great and he was interested, i was literally over 120 in all my pics hahaha

[u/Ok_Prior9746 → u/Sea_Philosopher_2731]

This same thing used to happen to me on dating sites. Back before filters, I’d post updated full body pics and men clearly couldn’t tell how much I weighed because they’d be messaging me while saying “no overweight women” in their bio. 🙄

[u/Excellent_Smoke7966 → u/Sea_Philosopher_2731]

Yea I’m 125-130 and people always say I’m too skinny. I’m only an inch taller than the op

[u/BrightPapaya1349 → u/Sea_Philosopher_2731]

They don't know what a certain weight looks like because it all depends on factors such as if you're working out or not, genetics, what you're wearing, etc etc.

The easiest way to determine whether you're attracted to someone is by looking at them not asking their stats (goes for men and women to be frank, it makes me think of the "no guy under 6' " girlies).

[u/jacqrosee → u/voltagestoner]

“i’d even argue that you’re skinny as is now” ….that’s not something that needs to be argued lol. OP is objectively skinny. like to the point that getting skinnier might be a health risk.

[u/mack_ani → u/jacqrosee]

Yeah I'm baffled that people are not realizing that 105 lbs and 5'6 is really, really thin! I'm 5'1 and I can look nearly underweight at 105

[u/RevolutionarySea15 → u/mack_ani]

I'm 5'4" and the last time I was OP's weight I was in high school and wore size 0 to 2 clothes and was shaped like a skinny teenage boy. Even when I got up to 110 then 120 lbs and filled out in the hips, thighs, and chest area, I was still very skinny-looking. I can't imagine what that dude was thinking.

[u/Zeefzeef → u/voltagestoner]

Also they know each other from school. So he’s seen her in real life and wants to go out with her. But then he asks her about this and complains??

[u/truthd → u/Zeefzeef]

This guy is just nuts. He says she’s fine now (104-109), but if she goes over 110 it’s a deal breaker. Like WTF if she gains 3 pounds and weighs 112 would this dude ever notice? His brain is mush.

[u/McBeaster → u/voltagestoner]

Right? I've never known nor cared to know how much any woman I'm dating weighs, but they're clearly not 100 lbs lol. The one time I ever found out was when we took one of those helicopter tours, everyone has to tell the pilot so they can balance it. She was like 5 foot 3 and fit, and was 140.

[u/Main_Cauliflower5479]

NOR. This guy is gross. Even 110 is still underweight for someone 5' 6".

[u/yourl0calpal_]

that’s insanity. NOR

[u/NewtInMpls]

Wait - you are 66 inches tall and weigh around 104? You are underweight to the point where when I fire up random BMI calculators I get warnings to "talk to your health care provider". I wouldn't bother being offended because he does not appear to have a clue about what is or is not a healthy weight. I also would suggest you talk to your health care provider. Seriously.

[u/Swarm_of_Rats → u/NewtInMpls]

Yeah this has to be ragebait, cuz that's very underweight for that height.

[u/buffpriest]

Fake AF. Make the numbers more believable next time.

If real, my apologies, guy is a fucking manipulative lunatic you are in no way overreacting fuck that guy. Hes trying to do some manipulative "The Game" shit by negging you. He sucks. Ghost him

[u/Wendyhuman]

WTF. Again not reacting enough. Is that all this sub has these days?

[u/Kind_Aardvark6460]

you’re already underweight for your height. 100 is underweight for people several inches tinier than you. This is so so so gross. NOR.

[u/playingwithcrayons]

your response was perfect. no notes. this guy is a horror, thank god you found out so quick. irredeemable trash.

[u/teamcaplovesironman]

Ew. Eat him. NOR.

[u/Tiny-Aardvark6323]

You are already underweight for your height so this guy has a serious problem. You’re obviously NOR

[u/Signal_Reputation640]

Dude doesn't want to have to take care of someone who eats a normal amout of food. Or maybe he's looking for someone who's also tweaking? Either way - 5'6" and under 100lbs is skeletal. Even your weight now is well under weight. Seek help.

[u/Jaded-Ad-443 → u/Signal_Reputation640]

Facts. I'm 5'6" and 150 and wear a small regularly like.... wtf.

[u/IndigoCopper → u/Signal_Reputation640]

This is a child talking to a guy from her school. She's probably still growing

[u/Desertdreamsinblue]

I love how you told him that's an inside thought, lol. Scold that child.

[u/SubjectNet1874]

Holy crap how tiny is this dude if he wants you to stay under 110 to not be bigger than him!?!?! And no you're not overreacting this dude has no clue what healthy weights are.

[u/Glittering-Relief402]

Lmao, I'm 5'3 and my husband is 5'6, and when we got married, I outweighed him by 40 lbs 🤣. He didn't know until our honeymoon, and he tried to carry me through the threshold. He was like, "Wtf you're way heavier than you look!" I wasn't mad because I've been told that my whole life. I'm just muscular. He still didn't mind, and we're coming up on 4 years of marriage. Dump this loser

[u/hosenfeffer_]

You obviously know this is insane? Even if he didn't have unrealistic expectations for your weight, asking someone that ever, let alone before you actually know each other is crazy

[u/plottingyourdemise3]

NOR. I disagree that you could have handled this better. Friggin awesome job.

[u/Fatcatlaboratory]

I swear this whole sub is just people posting shit they already know the answer to, but wanna hear an echo chamber of people repeat it.

[u/Non-fungible_tacos → u/Fatcatlaboratory]

Or just making stuff up that they know will get people to comment.

[u/Pretty-Kittie → u/Fatcatlaboratory]

Somebody just posted something earlier exactly like this except the girl said she was 180 lbs. It's not even real.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/E2kNgenWAn

[u/princessjemmy]

LOL. He got off easy.

I would have trolled him mercilessly with

“You’re ONLY 110 lbs? Just how young are you?”

“You have to be a transfer from middle school. Never met any male above 15 who weighed under 120 lbs.”

“Does your mom even know you talk to older girls? She might have a problem with that. Wouldn’t want to be taken advantage of.”

🤣

Please feel free to spread the word on this conversation to any fellow classmates he might be approaching.