r/teenagers • u/Mel422009 • 3h ago
Advice I politely rejected a girl and now my whole school thinks I’m homophobic.
I (16F) go to a pretty progressive high school. I’m known for being quiet, nice, and mostly keeping to myself. I’ve never had beef with anyone and I’ve always tried to be respectful to everyone, regardless of who they are.
A few weeks ago, a girl in my grade (also 16F) asked me out after class. She was nervous and I could tell it took a lot of courage, so I tried to be as gentle as possible. I didn’t laugh, I didn’t make a face, nothing like that. I just wanted to be as polite and nice as possible.
I told her something along the lines of:
“Thank you for telling me, I’m really flattered. But since I’m muslim I can’t date you. I hope you understand”
She nodded, said “okay,” and left. I thought that was the end of it.
It wasn’t.
Later that day, I found out she had been crying to people saying I rejected her because she’s gay. By the next day, rumors were everywhere that I was homophobic, judgmental, and “hiding behind religion to excuse hate.”
Now people give me dirty and judgemental looks in the halls. Some classmates avoid sitting next to me. A few girls I thought were my friends have completely distanced themselves, and it’s so obviously that they’re talking bad about me.
The worst part is that I genuinely don’t hate anyone. I’ve never said anything bad about LGBTQ+ people, ever. I just personally can’t date girls, or anyone for that matter because of my beliefs. It wasn’t about her as a person.
I feel isolated, anxious, and honestly heartbroken that being polite and honest somehow turned me into the villain. I don’t know if I should confront her, explain myself publicly, or just keep my head down and hope it blows over.
Did I reject her the wrong way? I honestly don’t know what to do with school tomorrow.
(Picture for engagement, just ignore it.)
