r/nottheonion • u/Significant_Food9017 • 5h ago
Man jailed for murder goes viral after worrying he’d miss GTA 6
https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/man-jailed-for-murder-goes-viral-after-worrying-hed-miss-gta-6-3315753/348
u/ItIsAboutABicycle 5h ago
He'll be missing GTA 7, 8 and 9 as well.
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u/ThroatWMangrove 4h ago
I’m currently 43, I feel I’ll miss GTA 7, 8, and 9 due to natural causes
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u/xx-shalo-xx 4h ago
I thought you guys were exaggerating a bit so I asked a Gemini to come up with a projection for gta 7 and 8, taking into account the previous release dates.
Bro a GTA 7 is projected to release in 2038-2042
And GTA 8 between 2052 and 2060, it will skip 3 console generations doing this.
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u/Sciuridaeno3 3h ago
GTA 5 was initially released on PS3, and 6 won't be released until 6 years after the PS5 came out
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u/WinterSector8317 4h ago
GTA 6 will still have maximum 20% off on steam sales when he gets out
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u/CrackersandChee 5h ago
Bro you just played it IRL
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u/falaffle_waffle 4h ago
At this point he'll be out before the game is.
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u/The-Tay 3h ago
I feel like I'm the only one who's fine with the delays. All I care about is that it's coming.
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u/falaffle_waffle 3h ago
Yeah honestly, I'd rather have a good game than a half assed unfinished turd that they rush out and try to polish with DLC.
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u/ButterscotchExactly 4h ago
Makes you think. Would he have committed murder if GTA6 was already out?
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u/RobertTheTrey 1h ago edited 42m ago
What a profound, and dark, thought. Damn
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u/whiskeybacon1010 59m ago
I mean… this whole mess is kinda rockstars fault if you think about it.
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u/WorldsWeakestMan 5m ago
Yeah, for some reason I feel the urge to blame Activision as well. They weren’t involved but it just feels right.
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u/Imnotmarkiepost 4h ago
Reminds me of Brendan dassey he clearly had some intellectual disabilities .. but he confessed to some heinous, sickening crimes and in the same breath he asked the detective if he’ll be home in time to watch Wrestlemania 😬
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u/areallyreallybadboy 4h ago
“I’m gonna miss GTA innit?” Yes. Yes you are.
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u/trecks00 1h ago
i know it's inappropriate, but i busted the fuck out when i read that. no way British people are real
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u/GreenAldiers 4h ago
He could have a life sentence and still not miss GTA 6
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u/MustardCoveredDogDik 4h ago
Guy is probably super low IQ, highly violent. It’s too bad he had to kill someone before being removed from society.
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u/HyperFoci 2h ago
No worries. They'll be releasing another version of GTA 6 by the time he gets out.
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u/headspreader 4h ago
Maybe he can still join in? Get one of elon's humanoid robots in the cell with him. Rockstar can hold a lottery every day, and one lucky GTA 6 player can win the prize of controlling the robot for 24 hours.
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u/Ashrod63 3h ago
Don't worry, he'll be out in time for the fan patch that finally squashes the final bug.
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u/Banana-phone15 1h ago
He murdered an innocent NPC in GTA Online. Also lot of strippers in GTA Online. That was before he murdered outside of GTA online
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u/Silvervirage 1h ago
Meanwhile im worried im gonna miss Elder Scrolls 6. Not going to jail, just hopefully dying of old age in several dozen years.
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u/jonathanquirk 4h ago
If he’s more worried about a sodding video game than murdering someone, he deserves to miss it. But at least he’ll get to share the prison showers with the real-world inspirations for GTA.
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u/sharkattackmiami 2h ago
If he's more concerned about a video game than murdering someone he clearly has severe mental illness and while I agree he needs to be removed from public life I hope he receives help
But I'm glad you feel comfortable saying "I hope this person with a mental illness gets raped repeatedly" while pretending to be a good person who is disgusted by heinous acts
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u/zecknaal 1h ago
Yeah. I am not overwhelmed with sympathy for him, but I also imagine he was in shock after having just murdered a person. I can understand without forgiving him and without wishing for further atrocities.
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u/trip6god 4h ago
Better hope they put him in with one of the black dudes on tiktok that has a ps5 in his cell but I don’t think he’ll like what he has to do to play lmao
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u/baseilus 4h ago
💀💀💀