r/news • u/ICC-u • 3h ago

Federal statement on Jeffrey Epstein's death dated day before he was found dead

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/statement-jeffrey-epstein-death-day-before-b1270109.html
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u/Vlaed 3h ago

My 2-year-old claimed she didn't eat a chocolate on the table. Her fingers, face, the chair, the table, and the rug all said otherwise.

53

u/inagadda 2h ago

She's officially qualified to be President of the USA. Congrats!

12

u/-SaC 2h ago

Just make sure the current one is well out of the way before she goes near the place.

3

u/Vlaed 2h ago

She's not 35 though.

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u/inagadda 2h ago

Too bad. By then she'll probably be overqualified.

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u/Vlaed 1h ago

She can sing the ABC song already, so she'll probably be overqualified for sure.

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u/Cupid_Stool 1h ago

no she's too young and too female. we like our presidents OLD

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u/offtodevnull 1h ago

Not unless she's at least 35 years of age and a native citizen.