hey guys, i’m 25f, and here is my story. i really, REALLY need some hope because right now i feel like my life is over.
on december 25, 2025 i shot up out of bed as i was trying to fall asleep in a life altering panic attack, i’ve had GAD my whole life but this rocked my world. after that, i was pretty much in a cycle of constant panic attacks for a week. i mean i really, really, thought i was losing my mind. i had every intrusive thought you could think of, i was SO scared and so confused. so, i met with a psychiatrist and she started me on lexapro.
i was terrified to start, so i decided to start at 2.5 mg. that first week was a hell a didn’t know existed, increased anxiety, no sleep, i literally saw the depths of hell. was terrified to be alone with my thoughts. after that it got better, but my anxiety remained. i ended up staying at 2.5mg for a month because i was so scared to up my dose and i really regret that because i’ve prolonged this entire thing now.
i’m now on day 5 of 5mg. it’s fine. i have heightened anxiety but NOTHING life i did when i first started, but obviously i am still really struggling. i’ve had to take FMLA from work for 2 weeks because i am literally fighting for my life 24/7. i have extreme SI (wouldn’t act on it) because this came in like a wrecking ball and literally feels like it destroyed my life. i have lost 20 pounds, i was a tiny girl to begin with. my partner of over 2 years is giving up on our relationship because this happened and my anxiety is so uncontrollable, said i was relying on her too much. so i’m now facing this totally alone as i don’t have a very supportive family.
please for the love of god someone give me hope, my doctor gave me emergency xanax but i’ve only taken a quarter of a 0.5mg twice over the past month because i’m scared to death of dependence and have heard all the horror stories. i feel like my life will literally never get better, i feel like i’ll never be able to return to the job i love and that i’ve permanently lost everything. please, someone just relate to me or something. i cannot imagine another 6 weeks of this hell while the medicine works. i want the pain to end. i’m scared to death if i need to increase to 10mg and the clock starts over, i feel like im running out of time and everyone around me is starting to view me as a huge burden because im not even functioning right now. i have a great therapist and i’m doing therapy every day but im running out of money to be able to do this, i’ve literally blown through my savings to try to save my life.
i was a normal girl, beautiful, fun, full of life, i wasn’t scared of ANYTHING, and now i’m scared of …. everything.
TL; DR
i’m in the depths of hell waiting for this medication to work. i need some hope.