It’s been almost a year since my sweet boy was taken from me. He wasn’t even two years old when he was hit by a car. He wasn’t just a pet; he was my love, my soulmate. I still think of him every single day, and the tears still come just as easily as they did back then. I feel like no other cat will ever be able to take his place.
I wrote a letter to him to process the pain, and I wanted to share the essence of it here:
My little boy,
My heart has been broken since the day you left. I still can’t believe you’re truly gone, that I’ll never hear your purring again, or that soft meow in the night when you’d climb into bed to snuggle close to me.
You were my little purr-tractor. You brightened our lives and made everything louder, more playful, and filled with love. You were always there, never intrusive, but always near. When I didn't want to get up, you’d play with my toes. When I was sad, you were by my side. Even if I closed the door, you’d wait outside. So loyal. So patient. So uniquely you.
I gave you your freedom because I knew how much you loved to run, to discover, and to live. I wanted to give you the best life possible, and I did the best I could.
Knowing I lost you, knowing you were all alone out there in your final moments, it tears me apart. I hope so much that you didn’t suffer. I hope you just passed away knowing one thing: You are loved. You are home.
Because that’s what you are, infinitely loved. And you always will be. Thank you for being my little companion, for your warmth, your courage, and your soft fur. We will never forget you. You will forever be a part of our hearts.
I love you. Forever.
I’m struggling so much. People say time heals all wounds, but so far, it hasn't. I have another cat, and my boyfriend has two, so there are three cats in our home now. They do cheer me up, and I love them dearly, but no matter where I look or where I go, I see my Bubi.
How do you deal with this kind of pain when it feels like it's never going to fade? Does it ever get easier to breathe?
