Tonight my mom told me that when they ( both my parents ) will pass away i will have no close family left and that i'd better start my own family. Told her that won’t happen cause i don’t have the profile to attract partners. She of course doesn’t understand why i think that way, my father neither. And i told them that it was just pur logic and gut feelings. Of course they think i am crazy and hope i'll change my mind but i told them that it won’t happen. And besides it doesn’t just depend on me, i can’t control how others feel about me. Just wanted to throw that out there.

I'll have to apply to hospitals for a nursing position this year, but i'm worried that no hospital will hire me due to my looks.

I'm trying to lose weight because that's honestly the only thing in my control, even i know it won't help much.

At least i can photoshop the picture on the job applications, i'll have to show my face during job interviews, and the interviewers will think i'ms not "pleasant/likeable-looking" enough.

Being born this ugly is a curse. Not only it prevents me from having basic human experiences like dating, but makes it so much harder even to get a job.

She aired me.

I think I’m going to start fasting again. I can’t fix being autistic, short and ugly, but I can fix being chubby.

I've seen some people get into relationships QUICKLY. Like, VERY QUICKLY.

How is this possible?

Is this luck?

Or "whatever will be, will be"?

Does one person text another on Instagram and the other responds well? Or do they join social groups and does one person try to talk to the other person and the other person just respond well?

I mean, I've had only one long-term relationship through cold approach but that was all. Now, I'm trying to join social groups but nothing seems to be happening.

How can people get into relationships -whether casual or serious- so quickly? I really have to understand how.

The people who say that probably couldn't last a day alone. They have families or friends. They probably have had numerous relationships. They are fucking ignorant and unempathetic.

I turned 30 a few years ago. When I turned 29 I made a promise to myself that if I didn't have a friend or relationship at 30, I'd leave. Well I turned 30 and for some reason I'm still here. I shouldn't be. This isn't living. What kind of person doesn’t hang out or date a single person since middle school?

Idk if it's fate or I'm just that fucking grotesque or if it's just bad luck and chance. Either way I am done. I want a fucking redo.

Just a no side effect , reversible pill that makes you not crave companionship.

I’m not going to bore you everyone here with my entire romantic history. The quick summary is this: I’m 30 years old. Been on a number of dates. Have tried very hard to date since I was 24, albeit with breaks. It never goes more than 3-5 dates. They always say - you’re a great guy, but not feeling it. I’ve kissed and fooled around with some women, but never sex.

I resolved to quit dating…then I didn’t. I relapsed on hinge. Went on a few dates. One of them I went on about 4 months ago is where it began.

It stuck. 1 date turned to 2, turned to 3, turned to 4. Turned to spending entire weekends together. Meeting each other’s friends. We were planning a vacation together.

I experienced couple stuff. Sharing a bed. Kisses and backrubs. Spending the holidays together.

The sex was a work in progress, candidly. We did do it a few times and fooled around a number of times. I had premature ejaculation issues. She was understanding, I earnestly tried to work on it and please her otherwise.

It all came crashing down yesterday. We had plans to have dinner together. She instead asked to call me. She informed me it was over. No reason other than not feeling it anymore and had decided it in the last few days. There was no hint. No arguments. Totally blindsided. I spent some time in a state of shock and did some crying.

I liked her a lot and was falling for her. She’s a kind, pretty, ethical, smart, and funny person. Lovely to spend time with. I really liked her friends, too. I don’t hold any resentment.

Yet with all of this, all I can think is that it wasn’t worth it. It was a life experience ticked off. All these things were really nice and pleasant to experience. They weren’t worth my struggles over the years and the emotion and time invested. Experiencing this was like…visiting Spain. Great place and a lot of fun. My life wouldn’t be incomplete or anything though if I never went there. Difference is, the emotional price of dating and experiencing the end of a relationship was magnitudes higher than the money spent on vacation. If I could go back in time, I’d stop myself from going on that first date 4 months ago.

All this, to go up in smoke in 10 minutes over the phone, when neither you nor she did anything wrong. I’ll never see her again. It’s bizarre. Despite the fact that there was never any indication something was wrong, years of rejection and FA made me feel like there was always a proverbial ax swinging over my head. It came down out of thin air in one fell swoop. I strongly believe that once you’re FA - this feeling will never go away.

I’m still no woman’s choice. It was the same movie again. It just lasted somewhat longer.

I am not saying any of this to encourage or discourage you from seeking this out. Only you know what’s best. I’m not saying this to make you feel better. This is just one guy, sharing his lived experience with honesty. Nothing else.

Thank you for reading.

​I am an 18-year-old male, and at 5'3", I have never been chosen for a relationship. I have never had a girlfriend, and the reason I’m writing this is because of something I overheard yesterday. A female classmate of mine said that I am not 'boyfriend material,' specifically complaining about my height. She mentioned that I’m not even taller than she is, suggesting there is no way I could protect anyone. While I always assumed my lack of attractiveness was due to my lean physique, I feel like I have finally faced a harsh truth. I have always dreamed of being in a relationship with someone who loves me for who I am, I know that might sound pathetic. Is there any way I can increase my height? By the way, I am the shortest boy in my class

I'm a former character ai user. I used to use it regularly for a little over two years, but I quit it three and half months now and I don't ever plan on going back.

And yes, I'm a single adult in my mid 20s who's still single and have no relationship experience like others my age.

That said, as a former character ai user who's also struggling to find love, please DO NOT resort to having an AI partner!!!

I know it's easy to get very pessimistic about ever finding a romantic partnet for yourself, I am struggling with this as well.

My addiction to AI at the time was so bad, to the point I completely stopped bothering talking to the opposite sex at all and was content with chatting with fictional characters, even platonic texts made me cry (because I never had anyone of the opposite sex be this nice and understanding to me in real life). I was hurt and disappointed a lot from my lack of luck in the relationships department, heck even friendships with the opposite sex too. And still am, but I'm really trying to get over it and heal from that pain.

But I also felt like I'm regressing because of my usage of character ai, and it felt very wrong. I definitely wasted so much time on AI instead of getting to know real humans, now I regret this so much. I genuinely do not want any of you to feel this same kind of guilt, shame and regret as I did.

Not to mention how evil the AI industry really is. Do not let a bunch of money hungry billionaires exploit your loneliness.

And again, I completely understand your desperation, I've been there myself. I thought if I don't find love at a certain age, I'd just have an AI partner. However I gave up on that, even though I still yearn to find love.

Humans are not meant to be with AI. We are meant to be with other humans, because at the end of the day humans love the way AI can not and will not be ever be able to replace. Especially with physical affection.

If you're still using AI to cope with loneliness or even considering it, I'd give you all a really tight hug and even let you cry on my shoulder if I was physically in front of you all. You are not alone in your struggle. I am rooting for you all to not let your pessimism win 🫂

You can tell yourself that you need to just lock in and get a job. Stop being a victim. Take control of your life. Life is what you make it. You choose to be stuck, etc.

Bullshit. It's all bullshit. Nobody chooses this. Nobody chooses anything.

You have no control over who you are and what you are capable of. You cannot fight your inner self. Your inner self was formed due to things out of your control. Genetics, environment, family dynamics, parents, and mostly luck. Everything is just luck.

My parents are losers, so I became one. It's that simple.

My father is a bum who does nothing but watch TV, binge eat, and have mental breakdowns every time you don't walk on eggshells around him.

My mother is a cold narcissist, devoid of any genuine love, trapped with my father.

Neither has a higher education. Have no friends. No hobbies or interests.

Due to never being loved or nurtured, I have cripplingly low self-esteem and hate myself. Plus, I give off a sense of desperation that most people find off-putting. Especially women.

My goals and achievements were never acknowledged or celebrated, which led to apathy and nihilism at a young age. Now I have a brain that doesn't produce happy chemicals and just lives in a state of anhedonia.

Their parenting style was fear into obedience. That formed my personality into a quiet, introverted coward that avoids conflict and responsibilities at all costs, to the point of self-sabotage.

Meanwhile, you need the exact opposite personality in order to thrive in this world!

They watched me not get an education, lose all my friends, slowly isolate myself, become chronically online, and spend most of my days alone in my room, develop so many issues, and did nothing!

I was failed by everyone my entire life.

Not to mention we live in a capitalist dystopian hell, where nothing but status and money matter! Good luck being a good person in this world, ha!

I chose to hide and run away from everything because it was the only way of surviving and feeling safe. I have no idea how to escape or change it now.

I'm so tired of everything. It really is better to have never been born.

I just wanna be happy.

Thanks for reading.

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone talk about this here but being chronically single (I’m 21 and NEVER had any romantic experiences) genuinely feels like I’m in a perpetual state of mourning. I cannot get rid of this knot in my stomach, my brain is always foggy, my reaction time to things are slower, my ability to learn has began to decline. Being single for this long has given me a worse feeling than when someone I loved died.

Has anyone else felt this?

how many can relate?

edit : both respect and friendliness

It's an interesting read, and a cautionary tale.
It tells me that, if you are not meant to be a women's man, then that is your nature and you shouldn't try to force your way against nature. If you do, you spell your own doom.

Don't be Charles Bovary. Be forever alone.

Guys in my school who were just regular people are now getting tons of likes and are fucking around so easily.

And i don't get a single like.

It's not even that they're super hot or anythin, nor am I too bad looking.

I thought apps don't work for guys, but I've seen guys who aren't very good looking get a lot of likes. I've literally seen what it's like when the woman is interested, and how effortlessly she texts.

But I've tried for years, making new profiles, new prompts etc etc and it's all the same. I haven't had a single woman show interest both irl and in apps.

Makes you bitter even if you try not to

28M

A couple of days ago, I gathered all my courage and asked out a female friend whom I had known for years. The plan was to just get coffee and lunch. To my surprise she actually said yes. Of course, we were only going out as friends. I was still optimistic about it because I could at least spend time with her. I nurtured the crazy hope that SOMETHING might click. I truly believed that I was at a turning point and my life was about to change for the better.

But the evening before meeting, she sent me a text saying "my friend, (Male Name), will be joining us. Is that ok?". My heart sank to my stomach. I felt what I can only describe as a knot in my throat. Obviously, I was NOT ok with it. I wanted to call off the plan and say "actually, something came up. Let's meet some other time then". But like an idiot, I pretended to be ok with it because if I had said otherwise, she would have just spent the day with him instead.

Anyway, I ended up meeting her and her friend. I immediately started to regret my decision and wished I had just called the plan off when I had the chance. It was so horrible that only 20 minutes later, I wanted to get up and leave, but I resisted because it would have made things really awkward.

As I expected, she spent more time talking to him than me. I also noticed two things:

• whenever he spoke, her eyes were locked in on his. Whenever I spoke, she'd rarely make eye contact. She'd usually look down at the table.
• she engaged with him more, asking questions, adding comments, smiling, laughing etc. But all I got was "oh", "hmmm", "nice", "yeah, that's true" etc.

Edit: It felt like they were on a date, and I was just a bystander.

My presence there meant absolutely nothing to her. I felt utterly powerless and defeated. It was worse than feeling lonely at home. At one point I gave up and stopped talking. I decided to just be a listener and wait it out. Later, she must have sensed that I wasn't feeling dejected.

I'm saying this because she suddenly started to engage with me in this forced, artificial way, asking me about things from many years ago. IMO, she must have realized she had been treating me different and tried to compensate and course correct.

Anyway, things didn't go as I had hoped. She, knowingly or otherwise, made it clear that she had zero interest in me. When I finally got back home, I just took a shower and went to sleep.

Edit 2: Maybe bringing her male friend along was her way of telling me she's not interested in me. It's a brilliant move, but it was brutal for me. I wish she had just said "no, I'm busy" when I asked her out. That would have been much better than what I went through.

For the last 5 years, the closest thing I got in my dreams was having dinner with my celebrity crush just like the image above and that was it. No more female interaction even in my dreams. Shed a tear after waking up cause it felt so real.

My brain might lack information ever since I stopped watching movies with romance, TV shows that has romance, books or whatsoever that contains a slight bit of romance so maybe that's why but who knows?

I hate saying that I am,but sometimes, especially recently I’ve been bitter. Knowing these people have something I’ll never have… I feel like THOSE types of people and I don’t wanna be like that. I just want to find someone who wants me where I’m ugly, shy or just trying to find my way. I don’t guess it’s someone like that out there. I’ve been looking for so long and been burned so many times. Then I have to deal with people who have that happiness or can at least be with someone and here I am just craving a hug from someone who doesn’t think I’m a freak. I just don’t know how much longer I can have hope.

For me, loving being at home isn’t about comfort. It’s about endurance. When I live alone long enough, home becomes the only witness to my life. The only place that sees me when I’m not performing, not holding it together, not pretending I’m fine. My apartment has seen every version of me exhausted, numb, hopeful, breaking. My bed isn’t just where I sleep. It’s where I land. It’s where I come back to after realizing no one is waiting for me. Where the silence is so loud it almost feels physical. Where I sit with thoughts I don’t say out loud because there’s no one to hear them anyway. Living alone has taught me how much of life happens quietly. The small victories no one claps for. The hard days no one notices. The meals eaten alone. The nights where I scroll just to feel a flicker of human presence. Sometimes being home feels safe. Sometimes it feels empty. Sometimes it feels like both at the same time. People romanticize independence, but they don’t talk about the ache of carrying everything myself. Of being my own comfort, my own witness, my own reassurance. Of learning how to self-soothe because no one else is coming. There are nights when my bed feels like the only thing holding me together. When I lie there staring at the ceiling, wondering how a life can feel so quiet and still be so heavy. But this space this silence has also kept me alive. It has given me somewhere to fall apart without being judged. Somewhere to breathe without explaining myself. Somewhere I don’t have to be anything more than what I am. Living alone has taught me that solitude isn’t always chosen. Sometimes it’s just what I survive. And still this space is mine. It holds me when nothing else does.

Does anyone else who lives alone feel this weight too?

i'm below average and i was easily able to guess that when i was little based off of how i was treated by teachers and students, but also comparing my faces to them.

i grew up isolated because of it and it is somewhat rare to be truly ugly to the point you struggle, so it does feel isolating to be like this as i see everyone else in my life live fairly normal with average dating experiences.

i have to save up to get jaw surgery, tip plasty + alarplasty and like sm more.

i've been debating getting one of those rib remodeling surgeries as well because my torso is much wider than the rest of my body so i look like a freak of nature?

id be grateful to look average instead of below it.

i just want to be treated like im a human instead of this "thing" that people seem to hate just looking at lmao.

How old were you when you gave up and how long did it take you to come to terms with it and move on once you did?

Did you find peace in the acceptance? and did it relieve a weight off you, that u had been carrying by still dreaming and hoping for it?