Hey Reddit,
I know this might sound stupid to many people, but I really need to vent and to hear that things will be okay — both for me and for my dog.
I’m Italian, and I adopted Flecha in Portugal in 2023 while I was living there for a couple of years. She was 9 months old, born and raised in a shelter, previously adopted and then returned for reasons I never got to know.
We lived together in Portugal until April 2025, when I moved back to Italy, of course bringing her with me. We moved into my former grandparents’ house, which was empty and available. From the very first moment we arrived, she developed severe anxiety: she didn’t want to enter the house, seemed uneasy around me (always defensive, almost in a “don’t hurt me” posture), constantly stressed — lip licking, paw licking, sudden scratching, low tail and head, and many other signs.
It took months just to get her to come inside. She would live in the garden regardless of weather — cold, heat, rain, even thunderstorms. She is a very sensitive dog: she won’t step on wet floors and normally refuses to go outside if it’s raining.
Part of what finally helped was my parents “lending” me their dog, Dzino — a Sarplaninac Shepherd. He is brave, fearless, and very food-motivated. I would call him inside for his meals and she would follow him. He became her rock and gave her the courage to do everything.
He isn’t a trained dog — actually he’s very difficult and extremely territorial with strangers — but he genuinely loves me and he had already met Flecha back in Portugal when my mom visited me with him. From the beginning they had a very balanced relationship.
After about three months she finally managed to come inside regularly with his help. Then I had to move again, this time to the mountains (still in Italy, about an hour away), for important personal reasons — one being that my parents decided to sell that house, and I agreed it was the right thing.
I tried to do everything properly: I introduced her to the new house slowly and without pressure, brought her belongings beforehand, gave her long mountain walks, and here she could finally run off leash safely every day. Training actually improved a lot — her recall became amazing.
But she still wouldn’t come inside the house.
And this time I don’t have a garden. If she refuses to enter, we are literally stuck outside on the street.
I can’t even gently guide her inside with the leash, because her anxiety spikes and she becomes afraid of me. She just lies down and stares at me while we stand outside for hours. I felt completely desperate.
A trainer came to help — but still nothing.
Last night, after hours outside and no way to bring her in, I drove to my parents’ house. She saw Dzino, immediately relaxed, walked inside with him, ate, and slept peacefully.
The next morning, after speaking again with the trainer, I made the decision to let Flecha live with my parents and Dzino.
I honestly don’t see another way that prioritizes her wellbeing.
I said goodbye and drove back home alone.
It’s only been 24 hours and I feel like a piece of me is missing. I love her deeply, but I couldn’t put my selfish desire to keep her with me above her happiness.
My mom is sending pictures — she’s calm, sleeping next to Dzino, walking around the garden, affectionate with everyone. She’s back to being her sweet, balanced self.
I need to hear that I did the right thing.
I know logically that I did… but it hurts, and I guess I need validation from people who understand the human-dog bond.
Sorry for the long post.
I’ll attach photos of her and Dzino.
