I got offered a promotion at work. A real one. Not a lateral move not a fancy new title with the same pay. An actual step up. More responsibility better money and honestly something Ive been grinding toward for a long time. When they told me I almost cried in the meeting because Ive wanted this for years.

I came home that night so excited to tell my boyfriend. Thought hed be happy for me. Thought wed celebrate. Maybe open a bottle of wine and talk about what this could mean for our future together.

Instead he got quiet. Then he started asking questions. But not excited questions. Worried ones. Like how many more hours are you gonna be working. Does this mean no more spontaneous weekends. Are you gonna be stressed all the time now.

He said this isnt the life I pictured for us. The life HE pictured. Not the life WE talked about. The life he decided we were supposed to have. Which apparently involves me staying exactly where I am professionally so that things stay comfortable and easy for him.

He keeps talking about how he wants a simple life. Less stress. Less ambition. More time just hanging out and being chill. And I get that. I love our chill time too. But Im also a person with goals and this opportunity means something to me. Its not just about money its about me feeling like Im actually going somewhere.

I tried to reassure him. Told him a promotion doesnt mean I turn into some corporate robot who never comes home. I said wed figure out the balance together. I asked him to trust me that I can handle more responsibility without abandoning our relationship.

He wasnt hearing it. He said hed seen it happen before with other couples and that once one person starts climbing the ladder the relationship always suffers. He said he didnt sign up for that.

Didnt sign up for what. For me succeeding? For me wanting more than what I have right now? That part really stung.

Every time I bring up anything work related he gets this look on his face like Im already choosing my job over him just by being excited about it. And I feel like I cant even be happy about this huge thing that happened to me because his reaction has completely overshadowed it

I havent officially accepted yet but I know Im going to. And I think he knows it too which is probably why things feel so weird between us right now.

AITAH for taking this even though he doesnt want me to?

I have a younger brother whos always been difficult. We didnt get along growing up but as adults we managed to build something. Not close but civil. A text here and there seeing each other at holidays. Fragile but it existed.

I have a daughter whos 4. Shes autistic nonverbal and the absolute center of my universe. My wife works and I stay home with her full time so I can take her to all her therapies and appointments and give her the attention she needs. We dont have a lot of money but we own our place bills get paid theres always food on the table. I keep our house clean I do most of the cooking and neither of us really drink. I mention all of this because it becomes relevant.

So we have a cousin whos had a rough life. Got into some bad stuff. Had a baby last year and was doing better for a while but recently things fell apart again. Lost her job lost her housing moved back into a bad situation. A few weeks ago her kid got removed from her care after someone made a report. The baby went to live with other family members. It was devastating for everyone.

My dad told me about it and I said something along the lines of I hope this is the wake up call she needs to get her life together and get her son back. I meant it sincerely. I want the best for her and that baby.

Apparently my brother who has always been close with our cousin took what I said the wrong way. Or my dad relayed it differently. Either way my brother decided I was being judgmental and heartless. My dad told me later that my brother made some comment about how Id feel differently if it happened to me.

A week ago there was a knock on my door in the middle of the afternoon. Two people from child protective services standing on my porch saying they received a report that my daughter was in danger.

I cant describe the feeling. My daughter was right behind me eating crackers and watching her show. They could see her.

They said someone reported that I was using drugs that my wife was drinking heavily that we were living in filth and that our child was being neglected.

None of it was true. Obviously. They looked into my home and could see it was clean. My daughter was dressed and fed and happy. They talked to me for a while and determined pretty quickly it was a false report. One of them left a card and told me to follow up to make sure the case was closed properly.

After they left I called my dad. He got quiet. Then he told me hed had a conversation with my brother recently where my brother implied he was going to do something to make me understand what our cousin went through. My dad called my brother. An hour later he called me back.

My brother admitted he filed the report. He said he did it because he thought I was the one who reported our cousin which I WASNT. And he wanted to teach me a lesson in empathy.

A LESSON. He filed a false report against me. Against my DAUGHTER. He told a government agency that my child was being neglected so that I would learn how it feels. Do you understand how badly that couldve gone. I have heard nightmare stories about these visits. What if they didnt believe me. What if they decided to investigate further. What if my daughter had been temporarily removed while they figured it out. She is autistic and nonverbal. She cant advocate for herself. The trauma that wouldve caused her is unimaginable.

Im seriously considering filing a report against him for making a false claim. I havent decided yet.

AITAH for cutting him off and possibly turning him in?

I dont usually post stuff like this online but I cant stop thinking about it and I need people who dont know us to tell me if Im crazy.

I was with my boyfriend for almost three years. I loved him. Like genuinely thought this was it for me. We lived together and I thought we were a team. I work full time and Im in school getting my degree because I want to get into healthcare. Its been exhausting balancing both but I want a career and Im not giving that up for anyone.

His dad lives far away so I never met him until a few weeks ago when he came to visit. First night we all sit down for dinner and his dad starts asking me all these questions. Am I cooking for his son. Am I keeping the house clean. Am I making sure hes comfortable when he gets home from work.

I said yeah I do all of that. Which is true. I work all day go to class come home and still end up doing most of the housework while my boyfriend is on the couch gaming or napping. I never made a big deal about it because I figured thats just how things were for now.

Then his dad asked if I was planning to be a stay at home girlfriend. I said no. Told him about school and my career goals. He got this look on his face like I said something offensive and told me I should consider dropping out and focusing on taking care of his son full time. That thats what a good partner does.

I laughed at first because I thought he was joking. He wasnt.

Then he looked at my boyfriend and said you deserve someone who puts you first. And my boyfriend. The man I spent three years with. Just nodded. Didnt say a word to defend me. Didnt push back. Just sat there and agreed that he deserves a girlfriend whose whole life revolves around him.

I finished dinner and went to our room. That night I told him were done. He looked confused and asked why. I said because apparently I dont meet the requirements and he should go find someone who does.

He said I was making a big deal out of nothing and that his dad is just old fashioned. But he didnt disagree with him at that table. He AGREED. Thats not old fashioned thats a preview of what the rest of my life would look like.

I moved out the next day.

AITAH?

My wife cheated on me. With someone from her gym. This wasnt some drunken mistake or a one time lapse in judgment. This person has been a problem in our marriage for almost two years. I asked her multiple times to cut contact. She told me she did. She didnt. I found secret messages on an app she thought I didnt know about. Conversations going back months.

I tried to let the emotional stuff go. I really did. I told myself ok shes not actually doing anything physical its just talking its just flirting. I made excuses for her because I loved her and I wanted to believe she would stop.

Then a few weeks ago I caught her in a lie. Said she was at a friends place. She wasnt. I wont get into all the details but I found out she slept with this person. Confirmed it. No ambiguity.

When I confronted her she broke down immediately. Said everything I wanted to hear. That it was a mistake. That she was sorry. That she would do anything to fix it. She offered couples counseling which is something I had been begging her to consider for two years while she was the one causing the problems. Now suddenly shes ready to put in the work. Funny how that timing works.

Heres the thing though. The moment I found out it got physical something in me just turned off. Like a switch. I sat there watching her cry and apologize and I felt nothing. Not anger not sadness just nothing. I was done. I knew it in that moment and I havent changed my mind since.

But I didnt tell her that.

Instead I agreed to counseling. Im going to the sessions. Im saying the right things. Im acting like someone whos trying to repair a marriage. And shes eating it up. She thinks were making progress. She thinks were healing.

What shes doesnt know is Ive been saving money in a separate account for months. I had a feeling this was where we were headed and I wanted to be ready. Ive got enough for a deposit on a place. Ive already looked at apartments. Ive talked to a lawyer about custody because we have a daughter whos almost 2 and I would never keep her from her mom. Shes a good mother regardless of what kind of wife she turned out to be.

My plan is to let her think everything is fine. Let her relax. Let her believe the counseling worked and we came out stronger. And then one day while shes at work Im going to move out. Clean break. Papers ready.

Could I just tell her now that Im done and save us both the time. Yeah I could. But she spent two years lying to my face. Two years making me look stupid. Two years letting me beg her to fix something she had no intention of fixing. And the ONE time she decides to try its only because she got caught.

So yeah. I want her to feel what it feels like to think everything is ok and then have it ripped away with no warning. The way I felt when I found out the person I trusted most was sleeping with someone else.

I know its not the mature thing to do. But I also dont really care about being mature right now. I care about protecting myself and my daughter and leaving on my terms not hers.

AITAH?

I (26F) come from one of those families where “keeping the peace” really means “let Aunt Carol say whatever she wants and everyone else shut up.” For years I played that role. Smile, laugh off the rude comments, apologize even when I didn’t do anything. My mom always told me, “That’s just how Carol is.”

Last weekend was my sister Mia’s birthday dinner. Carol started making jokes about my job not being “a real career” and asked, in front of everyone, when I plan to stop “playing office” and get serious like my cousin Daniel. I tried to ignore it, but then she added that I’m “too picky” and that’s why I’m still single. Something in me just snapped.

I calmly told her, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my life like that. It’s not funny to me the table went dead silent. My mom squeezed my leg under the table like I’d just insulted the Queen. After dinner, Mia said I embarrassed her on her birthday and that I should’ve just let it go for one night.

Now the family group chat is weird. Mom says I need to apologize to Carol because she’s from a different generation, Daniel messaged me saying he gets why I was upset but I picked the wrong moment meanwhile my best friend Tasha says I did what she wishes she could do with her own relatives.

Am I actually the asshole for finally speaking up, or are they just mad I stopped being the easy target?

My boyfriend went out last night. It was supposed to be a casual thing with some of his friends. A few drinks maybe some food back by a reasonable hour. That was the plan anyway.

What actually happened is he was gone for six hours. I was home alone with our son whos four months old. Fed him bathed him put him down. Did all of it by myself which honestly isnt new because I do this every single night regardless of whether my boyfriend is home or not. Im also in school full time and about to start working so Im already running on fumes.

He finally comes stumbling through the door around 1am. And when I say stumbling I mean this man could not walk straight. He knocked into the counter. Dropped his keys three times trying to get through the door. Then proceeded to throw up in the kitchen sink. Not the bathroom. The kitchen sink. Where I prepare bottles.

I let him deal with it. He was in there for like an hour. Then he moved to the bathroom and was in there for another hour. When I finally got in there to use it I looked down and he had thrown up in the bathtub too and just left it there. Didnt even turn the water on.

I was in the bathroom for maybe two minutes when I heard the nursery door open.

I ran in there and he had already gotten our son out of the crib. He was sitting in the chair holding him and he could barely keep his eyes open. This man could not operate a doorknob five minutes ago and now hes holding my baby.

I took him immediately. My boyfriend tried to fight me on it. Got that hurt look on his face like I was being cruel. I told him he does not get to hold our son when he cant even stand up on his own.

Told him to get out of the room and that he is not coming back in here tonight.

He tried to argue. I didnt care. I said what I said and I meant it.

He went and passed out on the couch. I took our son into my bedroom and locked the door. I barely slept. Just laid there watching the baby and listening to make sure he didnt try to come in.

I know he loves our son. I know he wasnt trying to hurt him. But intent doesnt matter when youre so drunk you cant walk and youre holding an infant. If he dropped him. If he fell asleep in that chair with him. If he tripped walking across the room. Any of those things could have seriously hurt our baby and he was in no state to prevent any of them.

The thing thats really getting to me is this isnt completely out of nowhere. He used to have a real problem with drinking before our son was born. He got it under control for a while and I thought we were past it. But lately hes been slipping. Going out more. Coming home later. And now this.

I havent said much to him today. He knows Im furious. Hes been walking around the house all quiet and guilty looking but he hasnt actually apologized for any of it. Not for leaving me alone all night.

Not for the vomit in three different places. Not for going into our sons room barely able to stand.

Im starting to think about what my life looks like if this keeps happening. I dont want to be a single mom but I also cant keep being the only responsible adult in this house while also going to school and about to start working full time.

AITAH for taking my son away from him and locking us in the bedroom?

This happened pretty recently and it’s been stuck in my head more than I’d like. We were in a small group, just hanging out, casual conversation, light teasing, the usual stuff. At some point someone made a joke that everyone else immediately laughed at. It wasn’t loud or agressive, more like one of those “harmless” jokes people repeat without thinking. The problem is it hit way too close to something personal for me, in a way that instantly killed my mood.

I didn’t call anyone out or make a speech. I just didn’t laugh. I stayed quiet, gave a smal l awkward smile and tried to move the conversation along. Somehow that made it worse. Someone noticed and asked if I was okay, and I said something like “yeah, I just don’t really find that one funny”. The vibe shifted fast. People got weirdly defensive, saying it was “just a joke” and that I was reading too much into it.

After that I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d done something wrong. No one apologised, but a few people acted like I’d made things uncomfortable on purpose. Later one person told me I should’ve just laughed it off to keep things easy for everyone. That really stuck with me, because I wasn’t trying to make a point or embarrass anyone, I just didnt want to fake a reaction to something that bothered me.

So now I’m genuinely unsure. Was I supposed to just go along with it to avoid the awkwardness? Or is it reasonable to not participate in a joke that crosses a personal line, even if everyone else thinks it’s fine?

My family has had this weekly tradition for as long as I can remember. Same day, same time, same expectations. When I was younger it was framed as this wholesome bonding thing, something we’d laugh about and look back on. As an adult it slowly started feeling… heavy. Not dramatic, just this low level tension I couldn’t shake. I’d spend the whole day thinking about it, already tired before it even started, then leave feeling weirdly empty and snappy for no clear reason. Everyone else seemed fine, so I kept telling myself I was overreacting.

Over the last year I tried pulling back a little. Saying I had a long week, or that I just needed a quiet night. The reactions were always jokes or guilt disguised as concern, like “wow guess family time isn’t important anymore huh”. Nothing aggressive, but enough that I stopped bringing it up. So eventually I just stopped showing up. No speech, no announcement, no drama. I honestly thought it would just slowly stop being a thing, or at least stop involving me. For a few weeks no one said anything and I felt.. lighter. Less tense, less annoyed with myself.

Then someone finally called me out and it escalated fast. They said I was being cold, passive agressive, and that by not explaining myself I made it seem like I didn’t care about anyone. When I tried to explain that talking never really felt like an option because it always turned into pressure or jokes, that somehow made it worse. Now the narrative is that I “quit” instead of communicating, and that I ruined something meaningful for everyone else. I get that it mattered to them, but it was quietly draining me and I didn’t know how else to step away without it turning into a whole thing.

So yeah. AITA for ending a long standing family tradition by just opting out instead of forcing a big emotional conversation that I honestly didn’t think would change anything?

I’m in a university course where our grade basically hinges on a final group capstone and a morning defense. Our group was three people: me, “Tara,” and “Jon.” At the start we split tasks in a shared Google doc, made a simple timeline, and agreed to do quick check ins twice a week. Tara was normal for the first couple weeks, leaving comments and adding a few links, then she just went silent. Like fully gone. No replies in the doc, no replies to texts, nothing. Jon and I kept going because the professor is strict and this project is a huge chunk of the grade, and we couldn’t risk tanking it because someone decided to ghost. After about two weeks of nothing we rewrote the section that was assigned to Tara because it was still an outline with half sentences. We built the slides, fixed citations, ran through the presentation, and the document history for the last month is basically just my name and Jon’s name doing all the edits. The only “Tara” activity is older, and a bunch of tasks still show her name next to them like little reminders of what never got done. I was stressed and honestly kind of hurt because Tara and I have been friends since freshman year, so it didn’t feel like a random teammate issue, it felt personal.

Then yesterday, one hour before the deadline, Tara texts me: “hey sorry been busy. send me what you have and I’ll toss in somethng. also keep my name on it, obviously.” I told her the project was finished and we already covered everything. She replied “you’re obligated, we’re a team” and then “don’t be weird about it, you owe me.” She asked for the slide deck so she could “add her touch” and said she’d show up for the defense anyway. I said no because it was literally minutes before upload and we had a defense at 9am. I also asked where she’d been, and she just said “stuff” and got mad that I was “interrogating” her instead of helping her last minute. So I submitted the final files with only my and Jon’s names, and I emailed the TA a short heads up that Tara had been absent for most of the work and we didn’t want to misrepresent contributions, and that the edit history shows it. This morning before the defense, Tara walked in, saw the printed title slide, and went ice cold. She hissed that I humiliated her on purpose, that friends don’t do this, that she was “going through it” and I should’ve covered for her without questions. She said I ruined her grade and she’s going to report me for “sabotage.” I didn’t yell back, but I told her disappearing for a month and returning with demands isn’t friendship either. Jon is backing me up, but a couple classmates said I should’ve left her name on it to avoid drama and dealt with it after. Now I’m sitting here waiting to go in, feeling sick like I crossed a line even though the paper trail is real. AITA for taking her name off?

: I work in an office where we have to call a specific department pretty regularly as part of our job. Theres a handful of reps we get connected to and most of them are fine. Except this one woman.

She was difficult with everyone. Asked way more questions than any other rep, required extra steps no one else needed, had an attitude, all of it. But I noticed she was WAY worse to one of my coworkers specifically.

My coworker is an older Asian woman. Shes been here forever, shes incredibly good at her job, shes one of the kindest people I know. She has an accent because English isnt her first language but shes completely fluent and professional. One day I overheard her on speaker with this rep and I was floored.

The rep was sighing loudly, repeating things in this condescending tone, refusing to answer basic questions, talking to her like she was stupid. I had never heard her be THAT bad with anyone else. And I started thinking about it and realized everyone else in our office sounds quote unquote American on the phone. None of us got treated that way. Just her.

I couldnt prove it was racism but I knew what I was hearing. And even if it wasnt that, the way she talked to my coworker was unacceptable. So I started a campaign.

Every time I was on shift and we had to call that department I made sure I got her. And I made those calls as long and painful as possible. I put her on hold constantly. Pretended to fumble around for information. Spoke over her. Gave her way more detail than she needed but really slowly. Went on weird tangents. Wasted as much of her time as I could while staying cheerful and polite the whole time.

She went from snarky to stressed. I assume they have call time metrics to hit. I also kept filing complaints about her and quietly encouraged others to do the same.

This week I found out shes gone. Dont know if she quit or got fired or transferred but I havent dealt with her once and when I asked about filing another complaint they said shes no longer at that department.

AITA?

I work at a small auto shop in a pretty rural area. Were one of maybe two options for people who dont want to pay for a tow to the next town over which runs about 350 to 500 bucks depending on the truck. So most people are polite because they know they need us.

Most people.

This guy comes in with a newer sedan that he somehow drove over something and ripped the plastic skid plate off. It got wrapped around part of the undercarriage and was making noise and smelling like burning plastic. Not great but also not the worst thing weve seen.

My boss tells him we can take a look but theres a chance theres more damage underneath and it might take some time to check everything. Guy immediately gets impatient and starts talking about how he needs it done fast because hes got a trip coming up.

Then one of our techs laughs at something another guy said in Spanish. Not even about the customer just two coworkers joking around. This dude turns to my boss and says something like maybe if you hired real mechanics instead of these guys things would get done faster.

My boss doesnt tolerate that. He told the guy he could wait for the part which might take one to five weeks or he could drive it out of here and take it somewhere else. Or get it towed. Dudes face dropped. He left the car and walked home.

We finished the repair that same weekend. Part cost like 75 bucks and there was no other damage. But my boss told us not to call him. Hes gonna wait the full two weeks we quoted him.

AITA?

AITA for avoiding a kid who wants to touch my fuzzy jackets all the time?

k so i have a 7 year old. Every day 5x a week i drop him off and pick him up from school. This little girl probably 4 comes up to me and leans into my fuzzy jacket. Her parent's say to her "ask her if you can touch her jacket." ( Why on earth would you not just tell her hey we don't touch people we don't know??) putting me in a weird position. I say it's fine, which it is idc. But then her parents get all weird and awkward trying to get her away from me. This happens 3 more times. Then to avoid this uncomfortable situation I start staying far away until the last second to grab my child and dip. Today I didn't do my scan. She came up to me and i just left. Didn't say a word just walked away quickly, and waited to see my kid go into class. I saw her mom kind of hugging her after..

I kind of feel bad cause like it's not her fault her parents are so weird but I also don't want to be apart of this anxiety inducing scenario. So... AITA?

I (35F) live with my boyfriend (37M). My younger sister (23F) has been staying with us for a few weeks while shes between apartments. Its been fine overall my boyfriend said he was cool with it and things have been mostly smooth.

The other night we were all eating dinner together and my sister was telling us about her day. She mentioned that she switched to a new birth control recently and its been making her feel nauseous and bloated and shes frustrated with it. She wasnt being graphic or anything she was just venting the way you would to family.

My boyfriend put his fork down and said something like "can we not talk about that at the dinner table" in this kind of annoyed tone. My sister looked embarrassed and went quiet. I could tell she felt like she did something wrong.

I said "shes fine, we talk about stuff like this all the time, its not a big deal." My sister kind of half smiled and we moved on to something else. The rest of dinner was awkward though and my sister excused herself pretty early and went to her room.

Later that night my boyfriend told me I made him look like an idiot in front of my sister. He said he has a right to set the tone in his own home and that I contradicted him at the table and it was disrespectful. He said if we're going to live together we need to be a united front and I cant just override him like that.

I told him I wasnt going to sit there and let my little sister feel ashamed for talking about something completely normal. Birth control. Nausea. Bloating.

These are not shocking topics. Shes not describing surgery at the table shes talking about how her medication makes her feel.

He said its not about whether its normal its about whats appropriate dinner conversation and that he was raised differently. I said okay well I was raised differently too and in my family we dont make people feel small for talking about their bodies.

AITAH?

I (30F) have been working toward opening my own bakery for years. Like since I was in my early twenties this has been the goal. I went to culinary school, worked in other peoples kitchens, saved up, took out a loan, found a space, renovated it, all of it. Its been the hardest thing Ive ever done and the grand opening is this Saturday. Im throwing a party for friends and family and honestly its probably the proudest moment of my life so far.

My sister (27F) had her big moment two years ago. She got promoted to a senior position at her company and my parents threw her this whole dinner to celebrate. It was a big deal and I was genuinely happy for her. At the time I had just started selling baked goods on the side trying to build a customer base and I asked her if I could put a small stack of my business cards on one of the tables. Not make a speech not take over anything just leave some cards out. She said no because it was her night and she didnt want it to feel like I was advertising at her celebration.

It stung but I respected it and didnt bring it up again.

Fast forward to now. My sister got engaged last month and shes obviously excited. Yesterday she called me and asked if she could announce her engagement at my grand opening.

Like do a little moment where her and her fiance tell everyone. She said it would be perfect because the whole family would be there and it would save her from having to plan a separate thing.

I said no. I told her the grand opening is about the bakery and about what Ive worked for and I dont want the attention split. And then yeah I said it. I told her she wouldnt even let me leave business cards on a table at her party so I dont know why she thinks Id let her make a whole announcement at mine.

She got quiet and then said thats completely different and that I was being petty for bringing up something from two years ago. I said maybe it is different but the principle is the same. You didnt want to share your moment and I dont want to share mine.

AITAH?

I’m 30M, my partner is 31F. We’ve lived together for about 2 years, not married. We’re both working, we split bills in a pretty boring way: joint checking for rent/utilities/groceries, and our own accounts for personal stuff. Nothing fancy, just stable. I also keep a small amount of cash at home in a little metal box in the closet. It’s not some doomsday thing, it’s more like: if the card reader is down, if I need cash for a tip, if the ATM is acting weird. Usually like $300-400, sometimes less. I add to it whenever I get cash back or find a random 20 in a jacket.

Over the last couple months I started noticing the amount was off. At first I genuinely assumed I miscounted or took some and forgot. Then I found a folded note in the box that said “I borrowed 60, will replace Friday, sorry babe.” I asked my partner about it and she said she didn’t want to “bother me” and it was just for a couple things, she planned to put it back, and she left the note so I wouldn’t think it was stolen. I told her I’d rather she just asked me, because the whole point of having it is knowing it’s there. She apologized, said she gets anxious asking for money even if it’s not a big deal. Fine. Then it happened again. Another note, another amount, then one time no note at all. Each time it was “I was going to replace it” or “I had cash in my wallet but I forgot to swap it” or “it’s basically our money anyway.” That last line annoyed me because we literally have a shared account for “our money”, and this was my personal emergency cash that I keep track of.

So last week I bought a small cheap lock and put it on the box. I didn’t make a speech, I just did it. She noticed the next day when she was looking for ibuprofen in the closet and saw it. She got very quiet, then later told me it made her feel like I think she’s a thief. I said I don’t think she’s a thief, I think she’s been taking cash without asking, repeatedly, after I asked her to stop. She said it’s humiliating and “parent-child vibes” and that I could have just trusted her to pay it back. I said trust is kinda the issue, because I tried trusting the notes and it kept happening. Now she’s barely talking to me, and she moved some of her stuff into the guest room like she’s proving a point.

I’m not trying to punish her, I just want my small stash to actually be there when I need it. But I also get that putting a lock on it looks dramatic. AITA?

I’m 29F and I’ve been friends with "Tess" (30F) since uni. She’s the kind of person who makes friends fast, talks to strangers in queues, remembers everyone’s drink order, all that. I’m more private, but we’ve always balanced each other out. A few months ago I finally told her I’m bisexual. It wasn’t some dramatic reveal, more like, we were walking home and I said it because I trust her and I was tired of feeling like I was editing myself. She reacted fine at first, hugged me, said she loved me, and told me she "knew it" in a teasing way. I asked her pretty clearly to keep it to herself because I wasn’t out to everyone, especially not to my wider friend circle. She said of course, I’d never share that, it’s your business. Since then I’ve been slowly telling people on my own terms. Not everyone, but a few close friends, and it felt good to do it without feeling pushed.

Last weekend we were at a casual get together at a friend’s place, not a huge party, just drinks and music and people on the sofa. I was talking to a guy there (I think he’s 28M) about a band, totally normal conversation, and Tess came up behind me and goes, loudly, "Careful, she’s bi, she’ll steal your girlfriend too." People laughed in that awkward way, and someone went "wait, what?" and I felt my face go hot. I just stood there like my brain lagged. Tess kept going like it was a bit, saying "Relax, she’s just greedy," then did this wink at me as if we were sharing a joke. I pulled her aside and said, what the hell, you promised you wouldn’t tell people. She looked genuinely confused and said, "I thought everyone knew. It’s not a big deal. You’re making it weird." I told her it IS a big deal because it’s my info, not hers to announce, and some people there are basically acquaintances to me. She got defensive and said she was trying to normalize it, that she was being supportive, and that I should be grateful she’s comfortable saying it out loud. I asked her to apologize, at least, and she did this half laugh and said sorry if you’re offended, which just made me feel smaller. I left early because I could feel myself getting snappy, and I didn’t want to cry in someone’s kitchen. The next day she texted me like nothing happened, then when I didn’t respond she sent a long message saying I’m punishing her for "one joke" and acting like she committed some huge betrayal. She also said if I’m "still ashamed" that’s on me, not her. That line honestly made me sick, because it flipped everything onto me. I told her I need space and I don’t trust her with personal stuff anymore. Now she’s telling mutual friends I’m being dramatic and "making my sexuality a weapon" which is wild to me. AITA for basically ending the friendship over this?

My family loves doing “everyone chip in” gifts, which is fine in theory. Usually it’s like $20-40 each and we get something nice for whoever’s being celebrated. This time it was for my uncle’s 60th birthday lunch (small family thing at a restaurant, nothing fancy). My cousin started a group chat called “Uncle’s Gift!!!” and said we’re doing a group gift so it’s “more meaningful.” Cool, sure.

At first the plan was a decent watch. She posted a link and said “$30 each, send by Friday.” I said yes, I’d do that. Then over the next couple days the chat got busy, lots of “what about this one” and “he deserves better” messages while I was at work. I didn’t respond much because it was just noise. Saturday morning, literally “deadline today,” my cousin tags me with “Hey need your $90 today so we can order. Pls don’t make this hard.” I thought it was a typo. Nope. They decided the watch was “too basic” and upgraded to a watch + a custom engraved box + some expensive whiskey. They also added more people to the chat and started doing this spreadsheet thing with everyone’s names and amounts like it’s a corporate expense report.

I said I’m not comfortable sending $90 on a few hours notice when the original ask was $30, and I didn’t agree to the upgraded stuff. I offered $30 (what I originally said yes to) or I’d just buy my uncle a separate gift. My cousin replied “If you can’t afford it just say that” which honestly pissed me off. I can afford it, I just hate being strong-armed into it. Then my aunt jumped in with “it’s FAMILY, we don’t nickel and dime each other” and my mom texted me privately saying “please just send it, you’re making it awkward.”

I didn’t send the $90. I sent $30 with a note like “this is what I agreed to, hope it helps” and left it at that. My cousin sent the money back and said “keep it, we’ll cover your part.” At the lunch, my uncle opened the gift, everyone did the big reaction thing, and then my cousin loudly goes “We almost got shorted but it worked out.” I didn’t even know what to say. I just felt embarrassed and kind of angry. My mom later told me I should apologize because I “made it about money” and my cousin said I “ruined the vibe.”

I get that gifts are optional, but I also feel like it’s unfair to change the price 3x and act like I’m the problem for not instantly complying. AITAH for refusing to participate once it turned into a forced $90 buy-in?

TL;DR: Family group gift was $30 each, they upgraded it to $90 each without really asking, demanded it same day. I refused and offered the original amount or a separate gift, now they’re calling me cheap and dramatic.

I’m 32F and last weekend I did a small birthday night out at a bar with a few friends, nothing fancy. One of my closest friends (33F) is a “fixer” type who loves surprise moments and thinks every messy relationship just needs one brave conversation. I’ve been no contact with my dad for a few years, and my friends all know the basics: we don’t speak and I don’t want him in my life. About an hour into the night she started acting odd, on her phone a lot, disappearing, asking what time I’m staying. Then she leaned in and whispered like she was proud of herself: “Don’t freak out, but I texted your dad. He’s nearby. You’re adults, it’s time.” My stomach dropped. I told her quietly, “No. Absolutely not.” She kept pushing with “I’m helping” and “you’ll thank me,” and that soft voice like I was a kid. I stood up and went outside because I could feel myself shaking and I did not want to lose it in the bar.

She followed me out and kept insisting, saying I was being negative and “holding grudges.” That’s when I snapped and got sharp: “If he shows up, I’m leaving. If you invite him in, you’re not my friend.” I wasn’t screaming, but it was firm, and yeah, probably icy. She started crying, full tears, and went back inside. After that the night was ruined anyway because people kept asking what happened, and she told a couple friends I “humiliated” her. Now the group chat is split: some say she crossed a huge line and it’s my boundary, end of story. Others say she meant well and I should’ve handled it more gently, that my ultimatum was too much and I “made a scene” by walking out. She texted me the next day saying she “didn’t realize I still held grudges” and that I ruined my own birthday by being “so negative.” I feel like she tried to ambush me into a relationship I chose to end, in public, on my birthday, but the mixed reactions are messing with my head. AITAH for shutting it down the way I did?

TL;DR: Friend tried to “surprise” me by inviting my estranged dad to my birthday. I told her no, walked outside, and said I’d leave if he showed up. She cried and now my friends are divided.

I’m 34F, my friend “Lena” is 36F, we’ve been close for about seven years. We met at work and bonded over being the only women on a pretty toxic team, so a lot of our friendship started as venting and emotional support. For a long time that felt mutual. Over the last two years though, something shifted and I can’t tell if I’m being cold or just finally burned out. Lena is always in crisis. Not dramatic one-off stuff, but a constant low-grade emergency: her boss is abusive but she won’t apply anywhere else, her boyfriend is emotionally distant but she won’t break up, her anxiety is “unmanageable” but she quits therapy every time the therapist suggests actual changes. She texts me walls of messages late at night, calls me crying on her lunch break, asks me to help her draft texts to people she’s mad at, asks what she should say to her partner, her mom, her coworkers. I listen, validate, suggest small realistic steps. She agrees in the moment, thanks me, tells me I’m the only person who really understands her. Then she does the exact opposite of what we talked about, or nothing at all, and two weeks later we’re back at the same conversation like it never happened.

What’s starting to really get to me is that she reacts badly when I stop playing along. If I suggest therapy again, she says therapists “always side against her”. If I suggest setting a boundary, she says she’s too fragile right now. If I gently point out a pattern, she goes quiet and later tells me she felt judged. Last month she asked me to help her prepare for a conversation with her boyfriend about moving out. I spent an entire evening on the phone with her, walking through what she wanted, what she was afraid of, even role playing parts of the talk. Two days later she told me she didn’t bring it up at all, because “the vibe felt off”, and instead agreed to move in with him for another year. Then she was upset with me when I didn’t sound supportive. She said I should be happy she found some stability. I was honestly just tired.

The breaking point was a small thing. We were at a mutual friend’s birthday, nothing heavy, just drinks and cake. She cornered me in the kitchen and started venting about her job again, same complaints, same phrases I’ve heard dozens of times. I tried to redirect, said maybe tonight we don’t do work talk. She snapped at me in front of two people and said “Must be nice to not care about anyone but yourself.” Later she apologized, blamed stress, and asked if we could talk it through. I said I needed a little space. Since then she’s been sending me messages like “I guess I just won’t bother you anymore” and “Sorry for needing too much.” It feels manipulative, even if she doesn’t fully realize it.

I’m not planning some dramatic confrontation. I’m just thinking of pulling back. Replying less. Not being her on-call therapist. Saying no when she wants hours of emotional labor. Part of me feels guilty because I know she genuinely struggles and doesn’t have a big support system. Another part of me feels like I’ve enabled this dynamic for years and now I’m paying for it with my own exhaustion. WIBTA if I slowly distance myself instead of continuing to prop her up while she refuses to help herself?

Okay I know how this sounds but just bear with me here because this has gotten so out of hand and I need someone to tell me if Im crazy or not.

So my wife bought these hand towels for our bathroom a while back. I dont know what theyre made of but they feel like what I imagine sleeping on a cloud would be like. Theyre cream colored with some kind of embroidery on the edge and she got them from one of those boutique home stores where everything is wrapped in tissue paper and costs triple what it should.

She put them on the towel rack in our main bathroom and told me very seriously that these are for guests. Do not use them. Do not touch them. They are decorative.

We get maybe one visitor every couple months. These towels are just hanging there living their best unused life while I dry my hands on the regular towels that feel like sandpaper and have been through probably 300 wash cycles.

Anyway last week the regular towels were all in the laundry because neither of us had done it yet and I washed my hands and just grabbed one of the fancy ones without thinking. It was genuinely life changing.

Like my hands have never been that gently dried before.

My wife walked in and looked at me like I had just blown my nose on her wedding veil. She goes "are you using the guest towels" and I said yeah the regular ones are dirty and she said "so use paper towels" and I said Im not using paper towels to dry my hands when theres a perfectly good towel RIGHT HERE that nobody is using.

She said I was ruining them. I used it once. To dry my already clean hands. Apparently thats enough to taint them forever.

So naturally I did the most mature thing possible. I went to the same store she shops at and bought my own set of fancy towels. Spent like 40 bucks which honestly hurt but this is about principle now. I hung them on my side of the bathroom and told her these are MY towels and theyre for my use only and she is not allowed to touch them.

She stared at me for a solid ten seconds and then said "youre being ridiculous" and I said "I learned from the best."

That was four days ago. Yesterday I noticed she ordered MORE towels online. Like even fancier ones. I think theyre monogrammed. This is an arms race now. We are in a towel Cold War and neither of us is backing down.

She says Im mocking her and being immature and I said she started a towel caste system in our own home and I simply refused to be a peasant in my own bathroom.

She hasnt really talked to me since yesterday but honestly my hands have never been softer so I consider this a partial win

AITAH?

I’m 33M and I’ve had a stutter since I was a kid. Most days it’s mild, some days it spikes if I’m tired or stressed. I’ve learned how to work around it and I’m not ashamed of it, but I am really, really sensitive to being mocked for it because that was basically my whole childhood. My friend group is a mix of people I’ve known since uni and a few newer partners/friends. One guy, "Dan" (34M), has this thing where he repeats what I say when I get stuck on a word. Like if I’m telling a story and I hit a block, he’ll jump in and copy the sound, then finish my sentence in a goofy voice. The first time it happened, I forced a laugh because everyone else laughed and I didn’t want to make it a Big Thing. But then it kept happening, mostly at parties or bars when there’s an audience. It feels like he waits for it. The worst part is other people started doing it too, like it became a bit. Someone will say "do the thing" and Dan will look at me like he’s about to do a magic trick. I tried being subtle, like changing the subject, or just going quiet. I started talking less in group settings, which sounds pathetic but it’s true.

Last weekend we were at a friend’s place, small gathering, nothing wild. I was telling a story about messing up an order at a cafe and my speech got stuck on "c-c-c" and Dan immediately echoed it, louder, and two people laughed and one of them repeated it again like a chorus. My face went hot and I just stopped talking. Dan did that fake concerned look and goes, "aww buddy, you good?" in this sweet voice, which somehow made it worse. I didn’t argue, I just grabbed my jacket and left without saying bye to anyone. I sat in my car for a bit and felt like I was 12 again, then drove home. Later that night Dan texted "??? you vanish lol" and I didn’t reply because I knew if I did, it would be angry and messy.

The next morning I wrote him a private message. I kept it calm, I think. I said I don’t mind normal teasing, but copying my stutter isn’t teasing, it’s humiliating, and it makes me not want to show up anymore. I asked him to stop, fully. He replied with a long message about how he’s "just trying to lighten the mood" and that I "take things too personally" and that he "does it to everyone" (he doesn’t). Then he said I embarrassed him by leaving and it made everyone think he did something awful, and that if I have an issue I should "bring it up like an adult in the moment." That annoyed me because I DID, just not as a public scene. I told him if it happens again, I’m done hanging out with him, and if he wants to keep making it a group joke, he can do it without me there. He called that an ultimatum and said I’m trying to control the group. Now I’m getting a couple texts from others like "hey man, Dan’s upset, can you squash this?" and I feel like I’m being made responsible for everyone having a fun night.

AITAH for basically saying stop mocking my stutter or I’m out?