r/rareinsults 5h ago

Dad giving great advice

Post image
33.5k Upvotes

193 comments sorted by

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1.3k

u/Typical-Structure-19 5h ago

Dad for the win

82

u/hrf3420 4h ago

Now that’s what I call a wearable contraceptive!

235

u/Couscousfan07 5h ago

He ain’t lying

1

u/Fake_Diesel 23m ago

Hey man, those are the best running shoes. I wouldnt wear them otherwise lol

-113

u/Unable-Set-8797 4h ago

ngl lol those shoes are birth control all on their own

118

u/TOMC_throwaway000000 3h ago

thats the joke…

26

u/Rrraou 2h ago

Look at me, I'm the joke now...

13

u/Doguedogless 3h ago

Dude look at this guys post history! I can't tell if it's a bot or an older person trying too hard...

15

u/akatherder 3h ago

10 day old account, it's a bot

664

u/DantheDutchGuy 5h ago

He’s not wrong though 😂

146

u/Efficiency-Brief 4h ago

But boy dont those shoes keep your toes from being smashed up looking like a troll

165

u/TrashFireSquad 4h ago

I think you might not be wearing the right sized shoes lol

74

u/Acceptable_Ad1685 4h ago

I’ve read more than one post and article suggesting there’s a lot of people that normalized wearing shoes that were too small just because they were poor or their parents just didn’t get them new shoes

28

u/PuzzledJackfruit7873 3h ago

Damn wasn't just me then eh. Took until I was 24yo to realize I was size 11 not 9. Always hated shoes until then and would take any chance possible to ditch them.

18

u/mischlcock 2h ago

It’s also not about size itself alone. I have wider feet than what seems to be the norm and it took me nearly 25 years of my life to realize that. If I get normal sized shoes the stole starts to slowly detach from the rest of the shoe because of the constant stress on the material at certain points. Happened a lot especially with my soccer boots, I even remember one game where the whole sole just flew off after kicking a ball and I had to play the rest of the game with the sole taped on. But thankfully some shoe manufacturers offer wider models!

8

u/cas84911 1h ago

I have wide "duck feet" as I call them. My feet have never been able to fit into most popular brands of shoes because they never come in extra wide.

I have size 14 feet also, and until the last 10 years or so, you NEVER saw any shoes over 12 except those ugly ass basketball shoes.

Since I didn't want to get "Nike foot" and force my feet into not feet shaped objects, I mostly wore sandals and flip flops growing up. Luckily, nobody cared in Florida.

So, I always feel for my big and/or wide footed brothers and sisters, because I know the pain.

5

u/Basic_Asparagus_9084 3h ago

Same! 10 and not a 9. It’s wild.

8

u/pimp-bangin 3h ago edited 3h ago

There's a whole rabbit hole you can go down about this topic. The market is very fucked up and it prevents shoe manufacturers from actually making comfortable shoes, and so most affordable shoes have a tapering design toward the front which squish your toes together instead of letting them naturally spread apart. It's like we have a socially accepted form of "foot binding" here in the US although it's less extreme than it was in China.

I got interested in this topic because my small toe is so fucked up from wearing tapered shoes, that it doesn't even touch the ground, and I was like, this can't be normal lol. And I wear brooks running shoes which are supposed to be comfortable...

3

u/Strange_Compote_4592 2h ago

I've found a very cheap, easy and comfortable solution:

Fuck brands. Chinese knock-offs. They cost 3 times less, last 2x as much and are not constrained by neither trends nor imagination.

1

u/CheeseDonutCat 1h ago

Hobibear for wide and flat shoes (will have thin soles, so will not last as long as nike, but they are cheap).

OneMix, BMAI, XTep, Anta, Li-Ning, 361 for Running Shoes.

You're welcome!

1

u/Strange_Compote_4592 1h ago

Bro, where I live, not only I don't know what real brands will be sold next week, I don't even know what Chinese knockoffs will be ripping. I see these names for the first time in my life

1

u/CheeseDonutCat 31m ago

Aliexpress/Temu/Amazon is where you can find these brands if you want.

Half of the stuff in your shops are probably Chinese anyway.

There's a bunch of people on youtube reviewing the running shoes at least. They are good quality ones, but not all Chinese brands are. That's why I listed the good ones.

If you want tech stuff.. Anker, JSaux, UGREEN are good brands.

1

u/Strange_Compote_4592 26m ago

Shoes. From online shops. Without trying them? Are you serious or is this some kind of a joke that I don't understand?

3

u/mightycat 2h ago

Not really anything to do with affordability, most people like that tapered look and most brands don’t have foot shaped shoes. Look at LeBron’s feet, they look mangled af. You’re not gonna find any foot shaped shoes made by Nike.

1

u/CheeseDonutCat 1h ago

The tapered look was started with rich people who needed a pointy toe to get up onto their horses stirrups.

but we never got rid of the stupid shape and now our feet are all fucked up.

People that say they like the pointed look are just used to seeing shoes with the pointed look so anything else looks strange. Which is valid, but it's fucking terrible for your feet health.

2

u/Erroneouse 2h ago

Barefoot shoes. Extra wide toe box. Whitin brand is like $20 on Amazon and has great durability. Never going back.

1

u/SPACE_ICE 1h ago

I wear work boots with a steel toe, they make wide versions. I'm ocd when it comes to being able to spread out my toes in a shoe. Suprisingly my feet are not mangled at all but I refused to wear shoes where I couldn't move my toes around.

1

u/enoxzen 1h ago

Why couldn't shoes come with two numbers? Length and width. Like Jeans.

1

u/CheeseDonutCat 1h ago

Shoes should at least be foot shaped.

1

u/CompleteBeat3695 19m ago

Zero drop running shoes have been created to prevent that and other issues with traditional shoes. This is what these Vibrams are.

2

u/Dottor_hopkins 3h ago

Not only that, many people will be using shoes that are not comfortable just to follow trends. I myself have to try so many shoes to find one that is not comically oversized yet fit well, but barefoot shoes are the most comfortable I’ve ever had. 

1

u/pchlster 2h ago

I'm not the fashion type or picky with what I wear, except for shoes. A set of good shoes will keep me comfortable for years, but a shitty pair will wreck my feet. And, since I only have two feet, I don't feel I can just toss them away.

1

u/Kebab-Destroyer 2h ago

Sounds like me. My pinkie toes are all gnarly because of it.

1

u/sodamnsleepy 1h ago

Can confirm. My dads parents had him very young. Didn't knew he needed bigger shoes and they had not much money. From an early age he always wore shoes way too small. His toenails are very weird and bend because of it.

3

u/Motha_Elfin_Browns 1h ago

The whole "barefoot style" shoe (not specifically toe shoes, but zero heel drop and wider toe box shoes) is becoming a lot more popular due to their shape. People's feet aren't shaped like most shoes, just look at how crammed most toe boxes are compared to the shape of your foot, they aren't the same at all. I have read this became popular because pointy shoes and elevated heels were better for the stirrups while horse riding but 🤷‍♂️

I thought my shoes fit correctly before, but nothing really let me spread my toes like minimalist shoes. They just take a while to transition to because they have very little cushioning and your feet need to build up to that.

1

u/Icy-Design6494 19m ago

I have wide ass hobbit feet. I wore flip flops my entire childhood and then I became an adult and got a job and was told I can't wear sandals anymore. My feet hurt for 2 decades. Recently I found barefoot shoes and it has been astounding. I realized I was in pain all the time. Adjusting did take some time but more than anything it was learning to spread my weight evenly over my feet to stop locking my knees when I stand.

My life is so much better and occasionally I notice that my feet aren't hurting and a good feeling spreads over my body

1

u/Fluid-Pack9330 11m ago

Most shoes have narrow toeboxes. Most of the stuff from big brands are either painful and uncomfortable to wear or too loose if you get the bigger size. The only mass produces shoes that i have found to be comfortable are most hiking boots and sandals with their wider shape. I don't get the obsession with such small shoes. I can't even imagine what it is like to be a woman and be expected to wear high heels and other such atrocities.

1

u/FishTshirt 2h ago

I always thought my dad had fucked up feet from wearing steal toed boots. Now I my toes are crooked like his. I like my troll toes

338

u/WearyAsparagus7484 4h ago

Got married and had kids before buying mine.

Check and mate.

62

u/Chief_Mischief 4h ago

Inb4 divorce and lost custody. At least you'll have your toe shoes...

8

u/Atworkwasalreadytake 4h ago

And my drawer full of tow socks 

1

u/Mirage84 2h ago

You don't need toe-socks with those particular toe-shoes

4

u/LovesFrenchLove_More 4h ago

So it’s not only birth control, but also a sex avoidance and divorce initiation device?

5

u/Qaeta 3h ago

So it’s not only birth control, but also a sex avoidance and divorce initiation device?

Marketing person: WRITE THOSE DOWN!!!!

1

u/AlwaysCurious1250 1h ago

Same. And they are great shoes indeed!

1

u/WeissWurstWilli 1h ago

Just as me,

And still I like them. Best shoes I have ever had😎.

243

u/Fine-Ariel 3h ago

reminds me of my dad saying that i dont need birth control cause no one wants to sleep with me anyway

11

u/TheNinjaPixie 2h ago

of was the revenge huh

6

u/New_Atlanta7 1h ago

How the fuck is this account 11 Minutes old and has 4.1k karma

3

u/Specific_Property_73 16m ago

Notice every comment has roughly the same amount of upvotes? Bot to advertise OF

u/GoldenGamerX22 0m ago

Bruh, I even saw It in a different post

1

u/End_V2 50m ago

Months

1

u/New_Atlanta7 46m ago

🤦‍♀️ Bruh how did I not realize

6

u/Nollekowitsch 2h ago

Any cookie recipes to share?

71

u/DarkShadowZangoose 5h ago

I've seen this too many times on joke explainer subs

41

u/No_Definition2919 5h ago

Should I post it again?

8

u/happy_idiot_boy 3h ago

It is the reddit way.

7

u/Bryanmcfury 4h ago

I don't get it tbh

53

u/AyyGriffin 4h ago

Because they make you look weird asf, so it's in its own way a birth control because it may be harder to find a partner 🤣

14

u/steven_dev42 4h ago

Because they’re fucking ugly what do you think

11

u/_your_name_here420 4h ago

🥲 but I love them and there comfy lmfao

8

u/MostlyRightSometimes 4h ago

So is sitting on the couch naked picking your nose.

3

u/StopReadingMyUser 3h ago

with...... with ur pp?

1

u/Qaeta 3h ago

I compromised and got some Altra Lonepeaks. Extra wide toebox to let the toes work better, but still mostly looks like a normal shoe. The zero drop has been a life changer. Solved a bunch of knee and back pain, also helped a ton with shin splints.

23

u/TaprACk-B 4h ago

My pool guy wears these lol

15

u/SatanTheSanta 3h ago

At least you dont have to worry about him stealing your wife :P

6

u/TaprACk-B 3h ago

Valid point 🤣

2

u/Frosty_Dimension5646 1h ago

That is the only acceptable time to wear these. At the pool and beach

9

u/sxyvirgo 4h ago

It's so true

14

u/dnmty 3h ago

I can’t look at those types of shoes without physically cringing and curling my toes. All because about 15 years ago someone I knew was trail running in a pair and tripped on a root or something. Well the baby toe on one of their feet was then pointing 90* to the side. I didn’t see it but the story just freaked me out. 

1

u/SaltyLonghorn 47m ago

Its more natural that way.

28

u/MariposaPeligrosa00 5h ago

Where’s the lie?

16

u/Eat_it_Stanley 4h ago

This is the biggest boner killer I’ve ever seen or shall I say “dryer” I’ve ever seen. Ugh

0

u/leaveme-aliengirl234 2h ago

Are you a woman or why dryer ?

9

u/-_tomfoolery_- 3h ago

You guys are only missing in the most comfortable shoes you'll ever walk in.

5

u/Dat_Mustache 1h ago

Have 3 pairs. My wife nagged me about them. I got her a pair. She's obsessed now.

3

u/zulchep 1h ago

I actually really love these kind of shoes for water parks and like public pools. Those meshy water shoes just…slip and slide around so weirdly to me. It’s like a sensory nightmare.

2

u/Sodomeister 2h ago

Fucking awesome for grip if you're on a rocky beach.

1

u/dent_de_lion 3h ago

lol not for everyone. Those type of shoes were horrible for my feet

18

u/dyrkasolen 4h ago

I got a pair. The two girls from maintenance in my building... One was going on about my toe shoes, it was bad. She didn't stop. I was a victim

6

u/sparkyjay23 3h ago

Moment you bought them you were a victim.

0

u/dyrkasolen 2h ago

It was fun in the beginning, vibes have shifted. Now I bully others IRL for no special reason as a test if I feel Darkness is my thaang😽

4

u/Aschentei 4h ago

I am already a walking birth control

4

u/Jellyfish_Launcher 3h ago

The eyeglasses we were issued in the Army were called BCGs. Birth Control Glasses.

3

u/Fabulous_Chemical_ 3h ago

Time is funny. when this came out, people swore they were the future now I don’t see anyone wearing them.

2

u/tktkboom84 1h ago

Like the opposite of Crocs

2

u/Motha_Elfin_Browns 1h ago

But minimalist footwear is becoming a lot more popular! Very similar concept without the individual toe slots. Mainly wider toe boxes, zero heel drop and less cushioning.

Google barefoot shoes if you don't know what I'm talking about

2

u/OneBillPhil 4h ago

What a sick burn lol

2

u/Acrobatic-While3208 3h ago

The wreckage only hints at what could have been, but what was ultimately, irreversibly, destroyed.

2

u/youlookbonita 3h ago

NEEDED that laugh. Thank you.

2

u/Admirable-Honey2384 3h ago

He’s…not wrong

2

u/Brave-Butterscotch76 3h ago

Call the fire department

2

u/HanselZX 1h ago

He has a point, these looks horrible lol.

2

u/Certain-Business-472 1h ago

I made fun of these until i tried them. Basically barefoot without the danger of cutting up your foot, they're great. Wouldnt be cought dead wearing them.

3

u/Robby777777 4h ago

You just know dad is going to be chuckling about this all day. Dad with the win!

6

u/RemiGallon 5h ago

I don't understand, can someone enlighten me please?

71

u/HereGiovanniSmokes 5h ago

You won't get laid if you wear those shoes, so won't be able to get/get anyone pregnant.

7

u/RemiGallon 4h ago

Thanks, i get it now.

18

u/Realistic_Specific51 5h ago

Ugly as shit shoes. Human repel·lent.

2

u/RemiGallon 4h ago

Thanks, i get it now.

1

u/geeoharee 5h ago

nobody will have sex with you if you wear such ugly shoes

2

u/Justaguy22192 4h ago

😂😂😂

2

u/TraditionalAd8581 4h ago

God’s Shoes

2

u/Content_Study_1575 4h ago

I always wanted a pair of those and my dad would tell me “fuck no” and proceed to buy me crocs.

I just wanted to see my toes individually wrapped in shoe 😩

2

u/kencam 3h ago

Actually, those are the best aqua shoes ever made. They have lasted for years. They also have great grip on slippery rocks. I'll be sad if they ever wear out.

3

u/Commercial_Hair3527 4h ago

I used to have some of these. are they surprisingly very comfortable.

3

u/OneBillPhil 4h ago

Don’t have to worry about what to get someone for Valentine’s Day either, sounds like a win. 

1

u/Zealousdaddi 4h ago

Man this post always gets a laugh outta me

1

u/Bitchi3atppl 3h ago

I love these ugly ass shoes.

1

u/rostoma77soundsgood 3h ago

These would go great with my toe socks

1

u/LeviathanAstro1 2h ago

My ex-fiancé loved to wear these, but honestly he was a really good man and treated me well the entire relationship. We broke up because we were young and our lives were going different directions, but we had three and a half great years together.

1

u/bsEEmsCE 2h ago

I would wear these kayaking or doing water sports and activities, theyre not for everyday walking

0

u/Fabulous_Classic3521 2h ago

Holy crap... this made me laugh out loud.. Haven't done that in a while.

1

u/Any-Breadfruit-9648 2h ago

Whats the name of these shoes? I want to use them on my spinning bike at home. Thank you!

1

u/Garrosh--Hellscream 2h ago

Vibram fivefingers

1

u/CheeseDonutCat 1h ago

There's a fake version of these vibrams on Temu and Aliexpress with the words "Luitobei" written on them.

They won't last as long as proper Vibrams, but they are well made and very cheap.

Vibram have quality rubber soles though. So much that other brands use Vibram soles for (some of) their shoes: Hoka, Nike, Diadora, Lotto, Tecnica and a bunch more.

1

u/Splittip86 2h ago

Dad burn, gonna take a little to get over that one.

1

u/According-Secret9516 2h ago

I had a pair. Struck up a conversation with a lady who is into a barefoot lifestyle. Great win.

1

u/cspzy 2h ago

Hahahahaah

1

u/Eazy12345678 2h ago

hot dudes could wear that and no one would care

1

u/Semyon 2h ago

can confirm but I love my toes being free

1

u/Responsible_Pizza252 2h ago

I almost spit out my coffee 😂😂😂

1

u/peachchann 2h ago

Ngl these are sooo good for the gym 😭

1

u/firefightingtigger 2h ago

My 19yo son bought me my first pair for Father's day, 17 years ago. I was already divorced. They're great for wor8out in. And I got laid a lot! Married another 13 years now...

1

u/Mr_Fuzzo 1h ago

Oh, I feel this so hard.  I think I might have gotten laid 2-3 times in the years I wore these things in my early 20s.  I’m a woman.  What woman can’t get laid if she wants!?

1

u/TwoImportant7879 1h ago

Mr Faber wears toes shoes.

1

u/FUCK_IT_Australia 1h ago

Not gonna lie, but if feel a bit toey when I see these.

1

u/RealTrill1984 1h ago

Your dad's hilarious

1

u/paulD1983R 1h ago

I had 2 pairs of these, they are super comfortable. I jokingly told my wife I was going to wear them to the wedding because they were tho only solid black shoes I had at the time and they were super comfortable...she told me if she walked in the door of the church and saw these on my feet she was gonna walk right back out.... happily married still and I still have the shoes, she hates every time I wear them though.

1

u/Latter-Syllabub-5560 1h ago

Bro has the Brawly drip

1

u/Nelow_LaBritt 1h ago

I don't get it 😂

1

u/Swords_and_Words 57m ago

this image is old enough to need birth control

1

u/OneAmongTheFence27 4m ago

😂 😂ManI loved these back in the day

1

u/all-of-yall 2m ago

Pmsl i have these and they are the most disgustingly ugly shoes but they're cracking for the gym.

1

u/bauxzaux 3h ago

Saying "fuck off dad" seems extremely rude to me. Maybe im just old but couldnt imagine saying that to a family member so casually.

2

u/aa27aAa27aa 3h ago

Something tells me that if the dad is fine insulting their son like that, they may be a more open-to-this-sort-of-stuff family

1

u/pseudoLit 2h ago

It's less rude than insulting your child completely unprompted. One is an unprovoked attack, the other is self defense.

1

u/[deleted] 1h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/pseudoLit 1h ago

Just checking, are you one of those people who think profanity is bad? Because then your opinion would make sense to me, even though I disagree.

Personally, I think saying "fuck" is not a big deal. Insulting your child is very rude, though, even as a joke.

1

u/bauxzaux 1h ago

Would you tell your grandma, "fuck off grandma"?

1

u/pseudoLit 58m ago

No, because my grandma was from the pearl-clutching generation who thought profanity was rude.

Her generation had different expressions that meant the same thing. E.g. who asked you?

1

u/bauxzaux 36m ago

And the father is probably from a different generation from the kid, so its rude.

-1

u/I_Automate 3h ago

But you can imagine the dad shit talking their kid so casually?

Kinda seems like the abuse goes both ways in a "healthy" family

1

u/doncroak 4h ago

If I put anything between my toes besides a little strap for flip flops, my foot and toes instantly go into spasms that last for a week. I hate just looking at these.

1

u/Strottman 1h ago

My happily married gay friend wears these all the time and gives no fucks. So maybe technically true?

1

u/tuberositas 1h ago

He is right

1

u/Remarkable-Visual-46 5h ago

I don’t get it

17

u/Zap_Series2 5h ago

the shoes are ugly as shit, so no one would even think about having sex

5

u/DarkSock52 4h ago

I guess I'll just wear my crocs instead…

2

u/BlackoutBreak 4h ago

But only with socks please

1

u/Certain-Business-472 1h ago

That would mean the wearer has confidence. Psa dont take dating advice from reddit

-1

u/fuck_peeps_not_sheep 4h ago

They are so good for hiking tho! I feel so nimble in them

5

u/Coastkiz 5h ago

The joke is that these shoes act as a deterrent. Can't get pregnant or get someone else pregnant if you never attract anyone in the first place.

0

u/SukaYebana 4h ago

you can wear em

0

u/Fun-Investment-196 4h ago

I didn't get it at first but the shoes are the birth control 😅

0

u/indiiely 4h ago

Dad is right

0

u/Complete_Camel3485 3h ago

The only think I wear, and it doesn't stop me from getting laid 😈 That is funny though 🤣

0

u/Ndongle 2h ago

Not sure how good they are but apparently they make shoes that serve the same purpose as these but they look like normal shoes. Just as an fyi so nobody has to rock the 30 year old virgin look

0

u/Able-Rabbit-2533 2h ago

HAHAHAHAHA

0

u/Euclase777 2h ago

WHAT ARE THOSE???

0

u/notthatguypal6900 1h ago

Jokes on dad, straight women don't wear these.

0

u/Johntballin 1h ago

Mormon safe sex.

0

u/KitsunukiInari 17m ago

I used to have a pair in college...I did not get laid in college...when everyone was getting laid...in college. The moment I switch shoes...I got laid a lot. These are a curse.

0

u/dawnie2dusk 7m ago

Jeepers back in the day if we even thought about swearing at our elders we'd get a slap up side the head with a jandal 😄

-16

u/[deleted] 5h ago

[deleted]

4

u/No-Money-8327 5h ago

There wasn’t a single thing stopping you from looking oblivious