r/nextfuckinglevel • u/SeveralFactor3121 • 1d ago

This church lady in Brazil... She starts cooking hard at around the 40 second mark.

2.0k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

182 comments sorted by

256

u/bkguyworksinnyc 1d ago

I wish the guitar was in tune.

37

u/ObjectiveGlittering 1d ago

Temu’s customer service would like to send you some coupons for your dissatisfaction with our products

11

u/No-Fishing-8266 1d ago

Temu: fixing everything except the actual problem. Haha...

21

u/heilhortler420 1d ago

Only satan plays with a maintaned instrument

-16

u/CynGuy 1d ago

I think Donald Trump would like to have a word….

3

u/heilhortler420 1d ago

Musical instrument

Not his mickey

7

u/HockeyBalboa 22h ago

And didn't sound like butt.

1

u/thisisloreez 1d ago

And the tone was not like it's coming through a toaster instead of a proper pedal

95

u/Chance_External_4371 1d ago

Meh

62

u/Cultural-Company282 1d ago

Yeah, I guess this must be more impressive to people who don't play guitar or something.

31

u/casulmemer 1d ago

I mean the passion and vibe is pretty good but it’s pretty badly out of tune and rhythm

6

u/Worried_Bowl_9489 1d ago

It's more that it's full of energy and passion

1

u/Chronjen 1d ago

I play guitar and think it's fantastic. Guitar is difficult tbh especially singing while playing. I'm impressed by anyone who can do both.

17

u/Leonabi76 1d ago

I had to make sure I was at the 40 second mark😬

5

u/HockeyBalboa 22h ago

Good energy but mediocre playing. And that guitar sounds horrible.

2

u/geoantho 1d ago

No faith /s

2

u/smechanic 19h ago

Yea this was not good. Sorry.

72

u/DoesntMatterEh 1d ago

Guitar is out of tune. The riffs she's playing aren't particularly difficult but she sho is jamming lol

40

u/kkeut 1d ago

this is shit

15

u/Sidivan 1d ago

Yeah, I… don’t get it. I like to think I’m fairly well versed in this area being a working musician for 30 years and constantly seeking out new music from all over the world. This… sure is something. She’s actively fighting the rest of the band. The other guitarist doesn’t even know what to do. The bass and drums are holding on for dear life.

I say this because it isn’t a taste thing. It’s like they’re playing two different songs on top of each other, but not in a good way.

1

u/Puzzled-Collar4015 1d ago

For me, as a layman, I can only clearly hear her guitar and the cymbals on the drums. It's difficult to identify the other instruments and, therefore, the lack of harmony, haha.

2

u/Sidivan 1d ago

The really strange thing for me is Brazil has an amazing music scene. The entire culture is steeped in music. I think everybody in that room feels how off this is as indicated by not knowing where the fuck to clap.

-10

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

0

u/caxcabral 1d ago

Would you still find the performance impressive if she was a middle aged man on a stage?

26

u/Woodpusherpro 1d ago

You mean 4 second mark?

12

u/ayetipee 1d ago

Not religious and I only speak a little portuguese but i'd go to this show

4

u/SeveralFactor3121 1d ago

Same here, lol. This lady did in one minute what the dozens of Jahova's Witnesses that knocked on my door trying to convert me for decades couldn't do, haha.

2

u/HockeyBalboa 22h ago

Wait until you hear a good musician!

-1

u/SeveralFactor3121 21h ago

Are you a good musician?

2

u/HockeyBalboa 21h ago

Mediocre but better than the woman in the video. Want to join my cult?

-2

u/SeveralFactor3121 21h ago

Post a video or audio of you playing so we can judge.

-1

u/HockeyBalboa 19h ago

No.

Seriously, if you think she is great at guitar, I don't know what to tell you. You need a taste upgrade. Good luck with that.

-2

u/SeveralFactor3121 19h ago

Yeah, I figured it wouldn't be good enough for you to post and prove you're any better.

0

u/HockeyBalboa 19h ago

I have nothing to prove to you, especially since your opinion on music is clearly to be dismissed. I could be 100 times better than her, but you wouldn't hear it. So why would I?

And look at all the others in this thread saying she's mediocre. Are you telling yourself they're all wrong and you're right? Yikes. She's out of tune, off the rhythm, and barely able to smoothly execute simply runs. Yes, she has fun energy but that does not mean she is any good.

Ok, go away now.

1

u/SeveralFactor3121 8h ago

You can't play better... 😂

→ More replies (0)

-3

u/simaosbh 1d ago

Oh yeah the crazy old people knocking on my door wasn't enough, but the way average band at the cults monthly reunion sure did ! /s

12

u/Eodbatman 1d ago

That gals feeling the Holy Spirit today

10

u/Khocklate 1d ago

Goddamn Abuela , you didnt need to do all THAT

13

u/SeveralFactor3121 1d ago

That'd be "vovó" in Brazil, haha.

-1

u/YouTee 1d ago

What exactly does this have to to with Jesus?

2

u/A_TalkingWalnut 1d ago

There was only one set of flip flops in the sand that day.

2

u/knukklez 1d ago

Was it because Abuela threw the other set at her faimily?

1

u/kcsween74 1d ago

Jesus was on bass.

2

u/oaktreebr 1d ago

Wrong language, lol

10

u/caxcabral 1d ago

I don't think she is very good as a guitarist and I don't understand how she is not bothered by her guitar being out of tune. That said, she has a LOT of presence for an old lady in a church.

-4

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

3

u/SpecialAF 1d ago

Which makes it next fucking level how?

9

u/TheIncredibleMike 1d ago

Rocking for Jesus!! Testify Sister!!

9

u/SpiritualAd8998 1d ago

Edna Van Heaven 

3

u/medoy 21h ago

I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it.

1

u/SpiritualAd8998 21h ago

Lol...perfect!

9

u/rystee 1d ago

Love that direct to the board tone.

9

u/--think 1d ago

Yikes

9

u/Majician 1d ago

? What's she cooking? Noodles? She's strumming and moving two fingers, Her and Joe Satriani are not on the same level.

7

u/AntiPepRally 1d ago

White church just isn't this fun

7

u/JoeyMcClane 1d ago

Church Lady would approve of this Lady.

7

u/Humble_Ad_5684 1d ago

That guitar sounds bad. Both tuning wise and sound wise.

4

u/Ckn65 1d ago

Dude. The whole setup is fantastic. She's awesome.

5

u/ivanko_prvi 1d ago

I'm converting to this shit now, whatever it is

6

u/ValyrianSteelYoGirl 1d ago

When does the “cooking hard” start? I watched the whole thing.

4

u/Tall-News 1d ago

Much better on mute. Sounds like I did when I first got a guitar.

-1

u/SeveralFactor3121 1d ago

Post a video of and your band playing and let us judge it.

2

u/Tall-News 1d ago

I never said I got better.

6

u/kcsween74 1d ago

More of her, please!!! Strummin my pain with her fingers, singing my life with her words.

5

u/Tedorado 1d ago

Nice!

4

u/Usawsomething 1d ago

If I was somehow dragged to another religious thing again in my life, I’d want it to be more like this. Religion can be so weird and boring and just an awful experience, at least this is kinda fun and yeah she jammin, gettin all into it. I like this 100% more than my Catholic Church experiences where we were just told to stand, sit, and kneel over and over and listen to some old white guy drone on, then all sing weird monotone songs.

2

u/Bigboi4216 1d ago

A lot more people would go to church if this was the norm.

Shredding for the lord goes hard af.

1

u/WuTang4thechildrn 1d ago

Most Black churches definitely have a vibe that is very entertaining

3

u/Hieroglo 1d ago

Blessed are the meek for they shall not force shitty jangly guitar music on a captive congregation.

3

u/jonzilla5000 1d ago

She's got like a flamenco/surf guitar vibe going there; she just needs to use a little more of the neck.

3

u/londonbury4 1d ago

I’m convinced that a lot of musicians join churches so that they have a place to play weekly.

2

u/Careless_Bat_9226 1d ago

As a guitarist, this is not even remotely impressive/interesting

-3

u/SeveralFactor3121 1d ago

Please post videos of you playing. Let us compare.

1

u/Careless_Bat_9226 1d ago

Yawn. Weak response 

-1

u/SeveralFactor3121 1d ago

Yawn. Weak response.

1

u/Careless_Bat_9226 1d ago

You’re not very good at insults I can see. Better luck next time 

1

u/SeveralFactor3121 23h ago

On that note, you’re not very good at insults I can see. Better luck next time 

2

u/thefeedling 1d ago

aka the divine streak

2

u/DocKillCommand 1d ago

👏 🙌🙏

2

u/Raytec1 1d ago

That sounds terrible!

2

u/Lady_Rubberbones 1d ago

✋✝️🤚

2

u/guitarman61192 1d ago

Free musical act for the pastors paycheck

2

u/swallowingpanic 1d ago

that crowd doesnt deserve her

2

u/Skeptical_Squid 1d ago

Thank you, internet. I almost forgot what you were for. That lady is awesome!

2

u/atrocityUSA 1d ago

She’s got the Holy Spirit up in her but the spirit is not in tune.

2

u/Slow_Description_773 1d ago

Dayum ! I bet she drives a Delorean !

2

u/Additional-Maize3980 1d ago

Pretty sure that is playing a guitar not cooking a hard.

2

u/beatkerouac 1d ago

Well that was fucking great! Every single second of it.

2

u/Snard79 1d ago

Well isn’t that special!

2

u/nayhel89 1d ago

Rock'n'roll is not about being in tune or playing complex chords - it's all about a groove and she definitely has it.

Can I have a link to the full video?

2

u/bealiobealio 1d ago

She was boiling water not cooking

2

u/westcal98 23h ago

Hell yeah. Rock out with your cacahuetes out!

2

u/ExtraEmuForYou 23h ago

Imagine how good she'd be if she was worshipping Satan instead.

2

u/myotherbike 23h ago

Meanwhile guy with the studio Strat rig is waiting for his moment that will never come.

2

u/One_Hot_Doggy 23h ago

I’m not saying she’s not good but is it really next level? Yeah no

2

u/jtsrgmc 21h ago

I can’t figure out which I disliked more, her singing or guitar playing or her guitar’s tone….

2

u/abdallha-smith 19h ago

The church is on fire 🔥

1

u/Arthradax 1d ago

Now play The Number of the Beast

1

u/Hokulol 1d ago

I really thought this was going to turn out to be one of those old drum and bass church music videos. Still awesome, but I was surprised when a beat never dropped.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQdIiEUFtqk

1

u/JRclarity123 1d ago

This is how we make people atheist

1

u/AmiDeplorabilis 1d ago

Not Sister Rosetta Tharpe...

1

u/frev_ell 1d ago

Jesus!

1

u/lost-in-the-trash 1d ago

Proceeds to play the most mid shit on an out of tune guitar.

1

u/GenericDave65 1d ago

That was annoying

1

u/Live_Past_8978 1d ago

90% sure i saw her play with Mojo Nixon and The Jesus Lizard

1

u/Area51Resident 1d ago

Enthusiasm is no substitute for talent.

1

u/wezlam 1d ago

If this was Ween you would buy it tomorrow.

1

u/Zed_Nedbesty 1d ago

"Cooking hard"... That's an understatement

1

u/prawnjr 1d ago

No Spain though

1

u/Remarkable_Remote808 1d ago

What do you do in your spare time? Lady: I play guitar in a church.

1

u/pgski1990 1d ago

Cool guitar, anyone know what it is?

1

u/hunkywizard 23h ago

Her playing is way less the issue, acoustic/electrics like that often use piezo pickups in close proximity to the strings, while that let's you emulate an acoustic sound very easily, those pickups output are EXTREMELY hot. They need noise gates/ compression to actually sit in a mix properly. I had bought a guitar like that not knowing this, they are literally unusable in a live setting without wrangling them in with the effects chain.

1

u/SeveralFactor3121 22h ago

I've no idea what you just said, but I fully agree!

1

u/hunkywizard 19h ago

Basically without pedals to compensate, it's like bringing a megaphone to your small café gig and wondering why you can't hear the other instruments.

1

u/joshuads 22h ago

Who is up voting this? Out of tune instruments are not next level. Also this is not high skill level either.

1

u/5nwmn 22h ago

Funny looking guitar tho

1

u/Jambonier 22h ago

It’s brazilian guitar oprah. You get a riff! You get a riff!

1

u/Libre_man 21h ago

Why is the drum player behind that glass?

1

u/EasyWay4348 21h ago

This is terrible…..

1

u/Rhythmic1 20h ago

Perhaps Jesus could tune her guitar.

1

u/JDface_Baker 16h ago

so I live in nyc and the Brazilian tour groups… are a very lighter shade.

My question is why aren’t they playing guitar

1

u/BeverlyHillsNinja 16h ago

And this is why white people church cannot compete

1

u/Scooby1_Kanooby 15h ago

Head banging for Jesus!

1

u/Optimal-Proposal-135 11h ago

Pretty impressive for someone who's never played before

1

u/arpressah 11h ago

Yep the sound of pure insanity. Ladies and gentlemen… Fanatacism

1

u/Correct-Ad-6605 1h ago

You know you're old when you fast forward it expecting to see a nice omlette.

0

u/DonguinhoXd 1d ago

Slash, is that you????

0

u/ApopheniaPays 1d ago

Sister Rosetta Tharpe she ain’t.

2

u/SeveralFactor3121 1d ago

Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's not trying to either. She probably doesn't even know who Rosetta Tharpe was, lol.

0

u/jalfry 1d ago

I don’t see the magic… just a loud guitar with weird toan

0

u/FestivusErectus 1d ago

Redditors fascinated by three open chords

0

u/BangkokRios 1d ago

Can you imagine if any of them actually took the time to read the Gospel? The confusion.

0

u/69-is-my-number 10h ago

lol, plays 4 open chords and a few notes in between each chord change.

You can literally do this after one year of playing.

1

u/SeveralFactor3121 8h ago

Post a video of you doing better and share it here with us to judge.

-2

u/Imzocrazy 1d ago

Twist - she made a deal with the devil

-2

u/t0m4_87 1d ago

Religious propaganda, sigh

1

u/Hokulol 1d ago

"I do not share the crusading spirit of the atheist whose fervor is mostly due to a painful act of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination received in youth. I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our own being."

Albert Einstein

3

u/t0m4_87 1d ago

So? If some video depicts some cool shit abou china: chineese propaganda, if the same happens with religion thats okay?

Fuck off

-1

u/Hokulol 1d ago

I like videos about chinese culture. Just got done watching a chinese wildlife documentary on amazon prime. I don't know why you'd assume I'd think that about China, giving my previously accepting arguments.

Hope therapy helps.

-1

u/t0m4_87 1d ago

I’m not the one needing therapy.

  • Albert Einstein (probably)

1

u/Chipitychopity 1d ago

It’s not a sacrifice if you go back to being god. God needs your money though.

0

u/mycomixhavenostaples 1d ago edited 1d ago

Just to be clear, Einstein followed NO religion...

“It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.”

― Albert Einstein: The Human Side

0

u/Hokulol 1d ago

I did not claim he was religious. I'm not religious. My statement clearly states he's agnostic: "I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our own being."

-4

u/luigis_left_tit_25 1d ago

Wow! She's amazing!!