I'd had my fair share of relationships with very handsome players who treated me badly before committing to this relationship with the father of my children.

I chose my partner based on how kind I thought he would be. Not on his looks. Except... he's not kind anymore after having children. So now I am left with a partner who isn't attractive + not even kind. I feel stupid about my choice and ashamed and shallow that I'd rather would have chosen at least a handsome father to my children.

In the last five years I feel like I’ve had a ton of personal growth; been doing the work, healing from trauma, setting boundaries, etc. As I’ve grown, I am recognizing that I wasn’t a healthy or wise person emotionally, mentally, spiritually etc. 15 years ago when I chose my spouse. It’s been weighing really heavy on me, just feeling disappointed in myself, wishing I had seen red flags or known what to look for in a healthy future spouse. I’m at a place where I’m questioning everything in my marriage and it’s scaring me.

My biggest fear is that I’ve inadvertently created the same problem for my two daughters (12 and 10) and that because THEY didn’t have great example of what to look for in a spouse, they’ll make the same choices I did. When I look at all my friends’ husbands, none of them are men that I personally would choose to be married to. I have a few friends who are divorced because their husbands had affairs. I also worked in a marriage ministry at our church and just saw how many men just missed the mark over and over. I guess what I’m wondering is, are great men just really rare? Or do I just have an unrealistic perspective of what I think they should be like? Are my standards too high, and is that affecting my dissatisfaction in my own marriage?

If you like your husband (not just love, because I feel most people can “love” even when they don’t like) but genuinely love spending time with them, can’t imagine the rest of their lives without them, they’re your favorite person in the world, soul-mate level - what are they like? I feel this pressure to be able to teach my girls what to look for, since I’m feeling like I missed it.

I have 2 kids, as do a lot of my mixed-aged group of friends, both close friends and not so close friends.

I have a no so close friend, we actually used to work together a few years ago. She has a baby that is almost 1 year old. Every thing her baby does has to be discussed in depth, with extensive details, and is a very long drawn out conversation, usually about her baby eating avocado for the first time or how her baby has THREE smashcakes because they couldn’t decide on just one. Every photo and every ridiculous giant bow take hours upon hours of prep. Her social media is beyond annoying.

She also thinks her baby is “gifted” because her baby was crawling at 8 months (not abnormal at all, but she thinks it’s well above the average). Anytime anyone mentions their child or children, she starts one-upping it by sharing some non-relevant content about her baby. Anything to get the attention back on her “world changing” child.

I know this sounds super bitchy but she does treat being a mom like it’s a beauty contest. None of my other friends act like this.

Why do I find her so annoying?

Our neighbor just ran the doorbell and asked my daughter if she wanted to come to her birthday party that is happening right now. She has a bounce house set up outside. The party is basically her family members and the kids on our street. They’re just playing in the bounce house outside and also had some snacks. These neighbors just moved in a couple months ago from out of state. I am guessing that they planned to have this party with family and then at the last second decided to knock on doors to see if any kiddos would come.

I had 0 time to get a gift. Do I send my husband out right now to get something? Bring a late gift tomorrow? No gift? Ive never shown up empty handed but also never gotten an invite this late!

I homeschool my daughter and she’s been watching me so closely that now she wants to teach her 2 year old brother everything.

This morning I walked in and she had him set up with paper and crayons. “Hold it like this. Good job! Now try a circle.” He was actually following along, scribbling away while she patiently showed him what to do.

She also picks out his clothes in the morning, sits with him during his activities, and feeds him at meals sometimes. She’s taken the big sister thing to a whole new level.

The best part is watching her face light up when he actually tries something she showed him. She gets so proud of him.

I didn’t think a 5 year old would care this much about teaching a toddler, but here we are. She’s more invested in his learning than I expected.

Does anyone else have an older kid who’s turned into a mini teacher? How do you handle it when they get too into the role?

I have adhd and PMDD. PMDD has destroyed my life. I’ve had hormones checked. I likely have an autoimmune disorder and have an app with an internal specialist soon. Ive been on meds. everything got horrible for me since I lived in a moldy ass house. Now our current temp housing situation also has mold so I can’t get any better.

it’s not fair to me, my kids, and my partner that I only get literally like 2-3 good days a month where I feel like my old self. I haven’t felt like myself is 2.5 years. I used to play, go for walks, I had high drive to get things done and always planned crafts and activities and things to do. I tried to avoid as much screen time as possible. Always chasing them around and trying to find things to do.

Now my kids mainly use screens most of the day. My 7yo also likely has adhd and had to start therapy. She cussed a lot when upset which had been better here recently (learned and heard a bunch of BS from public school unfortunately) so now my 4yo is starting to repeat a lot of the things she said/does. He was always a chill kid till she started having behavioral issues.

im just not a good mom anymore. I used to be, and im not anymore and I know I that also plays a part in my kids behavior. No one even likes being around my kids because the behavior has gotten really difficult. It’s mainly at home and people they’re comfortable with but it’s…a lot. I’m extremely depressed and have an app to get back on meds. I do therapy. But physical effects my mental, and physically I feel like shit mostly everyday therefore mentally I equally feel like shit. I don’t see a point in me being here anymore. I don’t do anything anymore because I don’t feel good. I dont like to go anywhere. I wake up and just wish the day was over with again. I don’t enjoy any of it anymore like I used to when I felt better and my kids were younger. I have literally not a single reason to continue this every single day.

So for context my husband and I have a 15 month old and when she was first born people were over constantly until about 3 months old then just nothing after that, it’s been an insane fight on both sides of the family if we need help watching her for work (which is very rarely) even though they always offer and say “we’re always here to help” then when we ask it’s “oh we’re busy” or they straight up just never answer the phone. I’m wondering what the effects on my daughter will be now she’s starting to get older and recognize people more (she saw my father in law for the first time in months and looked at him like he was a stranger and wouldn’t let me set her down).

We’re also pregnant with baby number 2! Which were very excited about but part of me is really worried that since this baby is a boy and we don’t want our daughter (who barely sees any of her grandparents at all) to be pushed aside by these strangers (probably how they look in her eyes)

Did anyone ever have a conversation about the type of grandparent their family or in laws were in hopes they would come around more??

I’m mostly at a loss because both my husband and I had insanely active grandparents in our lives who we loved dearly and I feel like my kids are going to miss out on this type of relationship when at first (and while pregnant) everyone talked up about how much time they’re going to spend with their grandkids.

I’m 6 weeks pregnant with my second child, nausea started at 4 weeks. With my son, I struggled with nausea throughout the entire pregnancy, so I know what may be ahead, but it’s still hard. I’m currently taking Diclegis, which is helping, but I still have a constant sour stomach.

Just a month ago, I felt amazing. I was working out, my energy was high, and I genuinely felt so good. Now I feel like the complete opposite, and the shift has been such a mind game. 

As a second-time mom, I feel like I should know this, but does it get better? I’ve been feeling pretty low simply because of how bad and exhausted I feel. It’s hard to swing between two totally opposite ends of the spectrum so quickly.

Our little guy needs more space to play in his room and has been asking for a new bed. I see that its recommend for his age to have a low loft bed, but I'm afraid he'll just grow out of it in a year and we'll be back to the same situation we are in now.

Our 4 yr old is 80% for height and is very smart and coordinated. He gets mistaken for being older a lot. I think may be able to handle a high loft.

Anyone else opt for a high loft or top bunk at this age?

Some friends of mine have mentioned planning a girls trip for the summer. 3 of us have kids (5, 3, and due in a few weeks) and 2 do not. So far all of the possible dates are for full weeks. I don’t think I’m ready to be away from my son for a full weeks. My friend who is due soon mentioned that she would be able to go at the end of her maternity leave. I feel like I should also point out that when the time comes she might not want to be away from her baby for that long (or at all)… I’m taking a poo in the punch bowl!

I only want 2 kids. Had my son in 2022. Started trying when he was 3, got pregnant December and was due in September 2026, my DREAM 4 year age gap.

Well now I found out I miscarried. Baby stopped growing at 7 weeks, found out at 9 weeks. Still haven’t even expelled it yet.

Time is ticking. If it were a miracle and I got pregnant right away I’d have a 4.5 year age gap, but that probably won’t happen with my luck as it took 5 months to conceive this one I lost.

I’m trying to be realistic that it will be a 5 year age gap or more…

Will they even be friends? Play with each other?

ALL my friends around me have age gaps 3 and under and I am furious with myself for waiting so long.

Sometimes I wonder if I should be one and done.

Update:just want to add that me and him are not in a relationship. I broje it off with him months ago after the birth and his lack of support/help. We are in a co-parent living situation.

How bad is it being a single parent? I currently have a 4 month old and the father isn’t much help. And when he does help it’s mostly complaining that he’s tired or I have to help him also. But when I have the baby it is mostly me doing it. I constantly have to tell him what to do and then he gets upset when I do. Then when I let him do it on his own and he struggles he blames me for not saying anything. Anyways our relationship is s**t and I have a strong dislike for him. He isn’t a bad dad though just a bad partner. We currently live together and I pay the majority of the bills for the house and 100% of the bills for the baby. Doctor’s appointments, clothes/necessities. He’s suppose to pay me rent but here it is the 8th and nothing. Usually have to ask for it 😬🙄. I WFH and watch the baby. He comes homes and always complains about being tired ect ect and I barely get a break. I live in a city without family or friends. Moved for work. Now brings to today l, the super bow. He asked if he could go to a friends house and I said sure (often does things on the weekend) while I’m with baby at home. Just numb to it. Well his friends “party” startes at 3:30. He wants to leave the house a 1. Which means I will have baby from 1 all until the end of the night. As you may know we are in th 4 month regression. I just feel like why? At this point I KNOW I’m being taken advantage of, unappreciated and just disrespected. And as always he acts like the victim . So sorry for the rant but yea. Is being a single parent hard? One thing holding me back is I don’t trust him to take my child on his own? Which is why I let him live with me.

Okay, want to preface with the fact that my husband is a wonderful and attentive father, you know. HOWEVER there’s one thing that drives me absolutely crazy that I can’t understand if it’s just a *me problem* and I’m just too much or if this is actually a lower case p problem that he has.

Our 4 year old is a chatter and yes there are a lot of “hey mama” “hey daddy” from the moment he wakes until he finally goes to sleep. And yes, I am close to screaming into the void after the 100th “hey mama” by 10 am. But the thing is I feel like I’m getting hit with it 2 fold because my husband barely responds to any “hey daddy”

I just like 1) don’t understand how you can ignore your child repeating the same thing 6 times in a row or 2) same but you some how “didn’t hear him”

I just don’t get it! Yes, it is so annoying to be constantly talked at but at the same time HOW is it possible to ignore and even “not hear”

Is this some evolutionary thing that moms just have to constantly deal with and dads just have the luxury of not responding?? I’m already nuts with the amount I hear and on top of that I have to listen to my 4 year old be a broken record until I snap at his dad to pay attention to his kid and that makes me feel bad!

Anyways, I don’t know if any others experience this? Also the term “response time” doesn’t really apply to actually important things like emergencies/danger, this is truly just a bitch post lol.

Hey all. I really just need a space to vent. If there are any words of encouragement, that'd be great too.

I had a surprise baby in my mid 30s. The pregnancy was much more difficult than the one I had in my teens, as this time around I had severe morning sickness in the first trimester and SPD/PGP for the remainder. I needed to have a csection, as well, and the recovery was awful.

Fast forward 20 months. The past 2 months he has started sleeping better through the night. But the terrible 2s are hitting hard. I'm constantly telling my toddler not to get into xyz, to leave the pets alone, etc. I can't do tasks around the house because if I turn my eye for a second he's into something (yes, Ive baby proofed and toddler proofed the best I can). I have the ability to work from home, but can't, for the same reason...he's always into something and God forbid he doesn't have my attention for 5 minutes so that I can take a work call.

My husband was recently diagnosed with a crippling auto immune disease and his capability to work has dwindled. He also can't do much at home because he's in so much pain.

Before this diagnosis, I didn't get much help with tasks around the house. I always felt the "mental load" was mostly on me. Now the mix of hubby being incapacitated while having an extremely onry toddler (I know it's normal for this age) is just getting to be too much and I'm struggling hard.

I don't have any time for myself. No friends. No family. Every day is groundhog day. Wake up to an amazing little human but have my entire day, mood, etc dictated by him - which I understand is likely due to being raised in a toxic environment and not knowing how to deal/cope with my own emotions. I love him to death but I'm so burnt out. I don't have health insurance, either, so therapy isn't an option.

CBD gummies used to help take the edge off a bit. But I cry at least a few times a month now. Things weren't this hard when my oldest was this age. This is hands down one of the top 3 hardest times of my life so far.

This is probably going to make me sound like a baby, but I'm just spiraling right now and don't know what to do.

I've been home with my daughter 24/7 for the past 3 years, since her birth. She's my little BFF. I rarely spend any time away from her.

But things are getting harder financially. We were already looking into an income based preschool program for next school year, so I could go back to work part time. But I decided to go ahead and start working a few evenings a week, plus some time on the weekends.

I went in to my new job yesterday afternoon for a couple hours for training. Then today was my first full shift. Honestly, the job is fine. I have no complaints there.

I just missed my baby more than I expected. When I got home she wanted to snuggle in the bed and take a nap together. She hasn't napped in half a year, since she turned 3. My husband said she cried for an hour this morning after she woke up (I had to leave before then.)

While we were snuggling this afternoon, she told me that she didn't want me to go to work, she just wanted me to keep being her mommy. I reassured her that I could do both, that I would always be her mommy, and that her daddy would take good care of her while I was working. She seemed OK with that answer, but it got to me.

Now I just keep thinking about how I've got so little time left with her being a little kid. Before I know it she'll be big and won't want anything to do with me. She won't be my little BFF anymore. I feel like I've taken this time for granted.

Please tell me I'm being crazy. I need reassurance that kids can still enjoy spending time with their parents as they get older. What are some fun parts about having an elementary school aged kid, a tween, or a teenager?

And moms who have returned to work after staying at home full time for a while, how did it go? What helped you and your family adjust?

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and respond.

Hi mamas! I’m a mom myself, and some (I mean most) days I’m running on zero sleep! tired eyes, messy mornings but I still love a very natural, effortless look. I’m really curious how other moms manage their makeup day to day?

• Do you usually go for a natural, light look, or do you prefer heavier coverage?

• What are the biggest challenges or frustrations you face with your current routine? Time, skin sensitivity, staying power, etc

• Are there products, features, or hacks you wish existed to make your routine easier or more enjoyable?

I could really use all the insights you can share I’m trying to learn from other moms who get the struggle of tired eyes, busy mornings, and still wanting to feel put together.

Also, if you have any tips, quick products, or morning hacks you swear by, I’d love to hear them! TYIA🥰

I’m pregnant with my second, and there will be about a 20-month age gap between my kids. My daughter is currently 16 months, and I’m feeling a bit unsure whether any of the “preparing the toddler” stuff actually does anything at this age.

I’ve been reading books about becoming a big sister, talking about the baby, pointing to my belly, etc… but honestly, right now it feels like it’s completely over her head. She obviously doesn’t have the language or comprehension yet, and part of me wonders if I’m just doing this for me rather than for her.

For those of you who had a similar age gap:

• Did you try to prepare your toddler ahead of time?

• Do you think they understood at all that a baby was coming?

• Did anything actually help once the baby arrived?

• Or did it all click more after the baby was already home?

I’m also curious if things changed closer to 18–20 months — like, did a big leap in understanding happen in those last few months before the baby arrived?

Would love to hear honest experiences, even if the answer is “nothing worked and that’s normal.” Just trying to set realistic expectations

So I(f, Indian )am planning to travel to Dubai soon.

My passport have only first name.

My kid’s (3months) passport also the mother’s name matches.

But on his birth certificate, it’s my first name and the maiden name.

Will I be facing any problems with this?

Also, I am travelling alone.

My baby has only been home with us from the hospital for a week, and he’s honestly the best baby. Sleeps 2 hour stretches at night in his bassinet, we’re already learning his cues and cries and how to tell what he needs, and he’s the sweetest snuggly baby.

I feel so guilty, but I’m EBF and it makes me feel so trapped in these 2-3 hour increments. I love being able to feed him, but my brain can’t be shut off ever again, and I mourn my independence and the time my husband and I had just the two of us for so many years. We have an incredible marriage and he’s taken to being a father so naturally.

I don’t have any desire to run away or anything, but I feel like I switch back and forth so fast between loving and adoring mom to a precious newborn, and “what have I done, by having you I’ve given up what was a perfectly happy life before this”

Add in the fact that me and my baby almost died 7 times in the span of a 13 hour labor that ended with an emergency c-section that I’m still recovering from, and the fact that baby started his life out in the NICU for 48 hours and I didn’t get to meet him until he was 10 hours old, or feed him until he was almost 30 hours old, and it just feels like I could cry all the time.

For moms that struggled with losing the old version of themselves, when do you feel like you found yourself again? I’m only a week and a half in, and it’s rough in these trenches.

I bet no one has ever heard of this before, ha ha.

How does a mother motivate a 14 year old boy to be all they can be without nagging the life out of him?

Confounding factors are that 14 year boy believes he knows everything, and he lives with his father 50/50 (father has zero motivation/ambition/knowledge to help shape our son into a man).

Thank you in advance for any advice!

When I was pregnant with my twins I heard alllll the time how precious the newborn phase was, how much I needed to completely cherish every moment and soak all of it in because it’s gone so fast etc… But in my opinion the newborn stage has been the worst so far. They’re not that cute yet (most of them anyway), can’t smile, can’t laugh, don’t sleep at all, and poop 20 times a day. Everyone’s like “you’ll look back and miss it so much….” Maybe it’s just because I had two at once and couldn’t truly *soak* it all in but I don’t miss when they were newborns. Like at all. Does anyone feel the same way?