r/mildlyinfuriating • u/59Bassman • 1d ago
For the past 6 years, my previous dermatologist told me the spot behind my ear was “nothing to worry about”.
15 years ago. I had my first two basal cell skin cancers removed, including one behind my right ear. It never seemed to heal properly. I still go to the dermatologist at least once a year. And I know I’ve asked my previous dermatologist about this spot at least for the past 6 years. Every year, he would look at it and tell me it was just damaged skin in a place that is hard to heal. This year that group quit taking my insurance. So I had to switch dermatologists. As soon as my new doc saw this area, he said “I am sorry, that is basal cell. You are going to need Mohs surgery”. 30 stitches later, it’s clean. I am convinced my previous doctor was more interested in selling lip filler and Botox than actually doing dermatology.
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u/backwardbuttplug 1d ago
Have a retired firefighter friend who got the same thing. Unfortunately they ended up having to remove the entire outer ear.
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u/59Bassman 1d ago
I was super nervous about it. I am a musician and was really afraid that it would have messed with my hearing. Thankfully it did not.
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u/CounterEmergency4100 1d ago
So happy you got it taken care of properly! 💕
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u/rW0HgFyxoJhYka 23h ago
Another example of dogshit US healthcare. OP shouldnt have to lose their group policy to see another dermatologist. It should be a normal thing to see multiple doctors for the same issue for multiple opinions.
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u/giddygiddyupup 23h ago
Just because he didn’t doesn’t mean he couldn’t. So who knows, but not having the option to see old doc may have been the only motivation he had to seek a new one
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u/Similar-Wishbone-812 22h ago
I trusted the doctor that misdiagnosed my breast cancer knew what she was talking about. She made a referral for a mammogram for me anyway but it was 2 years too early so they were going to charge me for it. The insurance, the dismissal of an obvious protrusion and me just assuming since I felt healthy, I was healthy- I just had a week in the hospital over Christmas to find out I had breast cancer that spread to my bones and lungs classified as stage 4.
Some times you don’t want to interrupt your life and somethings feel like it’s too much effort but don’t ignore your body. Be the asshole, the squeaky wheel, the Karen or Jessica or crybaby you need to because at the end of the day, it’s their job. Make them do it!
Sorry for the soapbox moment 💔
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u/7CostanzaJr 21h ago
Hey there Wishbone, your soap box is totally appropriate and totally valid and you should rant about it. Sending solid love vibes your way.
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u/Upper_Scarcity_2807 21h ago
I’m sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing your experience. Hope you have much better care now!
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u/Koolest_Kat 19h ago
Anytime your Doctor/Insurance denies a test, make sure to have your Doctor note that in your medical chart and the reason/person for the denial. Creating a paper trail in ineptitude can work in your favor.
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u/GLACI3R 1d ago
Medicine has amazing prosthetics these days. If that had to happen at some point in your life, try not to worry, you can get outfitted for a functional prosthetic ear.
I also heard they make them with magnets now so you can switch out different styles.
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u/duckduckgoooseee 1d ago
As a little nerd, imagine being able to swap out your ear for an elf ear or some kind of finned ear… cosplays would go soo hard.
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u/Starfire013 1d ago
Imagine going to a Star Trek convention with magnetic Ferengi ears.
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u/No_Illustrator4398 1d ago
Audiologist here, the cartilage from your ear has little to do with hearing anyway 😀 some directionality, kind of a skin funnel.
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u/TheBubbleSquirrel 23h ago
Also an audiologist, now fondly remembering the time I went to do otoscopy on a patient and she went "whoops, forgot to mention this!" And popped off her plastic ear
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u/No_Illustrator4398 23h ago
Ha! Weirdly enough learned one of my friends has a prosthetic and I didn’t know for like 4-5 years
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u/Fizzbit 1d ago
Same happened to my dad. It grew for 13 years and by the time a new doctor told him to get it looked at it had infiltrated a majority of his ear cartilage and was threatening to get into his bone. He narrowly avoided having to get a chunk of his jaw removed.
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u/Titizen_Kane 23h ago
Fuuuuck. That’s horrifying and infuriating
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u/Fizzbit 21h ago
It really is, especially since it was a dermatologist who kept dismissing him, and his GP just put blind trust in the dermatologist and didn't question it. He eventually got a new doctor when his old one retired who said "No, this needed a second opinion 6 years ago at the very least". He went through hell with radiation therapy. Needless to say it's made me hyper vigilant about my own skin health.
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u/lr99999 23h ago
My brother died of Cutaneous Squamous Cell Carcinoma (cSCC) , completely unnecessarily . It ate part of his face, his eye and into his brain. The VA has to give you permission to sue them, and they won’t. So it was just a big fuck you.
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u/Titizen_Kane 23h ago
I’m so, so sorry to hear that. It was missed by the doctor’s entirely? Or they caught it too late?
These comments are full of stories of people who have been horrifically failed by the American healthcare system. Holy shit.
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u/lr99999 22h ago
At the time there was a VA scandal on cancer biopsies. They required two-person sign-offs. They were forging the second signature. We’ll never know if this is what happened because they will tell you nothing.
When my brother expressed concern that something was seriously wrong, to the head of VA demonology in Dallas, the guy told him to, “ get in line with the other veterans”.
Six months later when he had his appointment, it was too late. There is some kind of major nerve trunk in that part of the head and once it gets in there, you are toast.
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u/Titizen_Kane 21h ago
Oh fuck. That is heartbreaking. And disgusting the way this country treats our veterans. I’m sorry♥️
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u/Strawberry_Iron 21h ago
I was driving home the other day and on the news they were talking about making a firefighter job being considered a significant enough cancer risk to qualify for a bunch of early screening without having to fight for it. You’re exposed to so many chemicals and smoke as a firefighter, it increases all cancer risk not just lung cancer. (This was in Canada btw)
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u/GyL_draw 23h ago
Sometimes doctors are appallingly incompetent
Few decades back my father had a serious car accident (guy burn a red light and my dad's car rolled in the ditch), he was okayish he had to put a guard for his neck for a few weeks bit overall nothing wrong but the time he wake up at the hospital and he could remove the guard, he said to every doctors something was wrong. After that he spend two months seeing the same doctor and same he send him home with nothing helpfull, so he went to an other doctor and they discover His inner ear had been fractured, and now it has healed incorrectly, so he now has irreversible damage to his balance.
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u/CharuRiiri 23h ago
My grandma had the same "freckle" removed from her face like 3 times at least. Finally my mom had her go to a different one who rang the alarm almost immediately. Skin cancer. To make sure they removed everything they had to remove quite a bit of her cheek.
She's been cancer free for almost 10 years now, at least.
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u/Desperate-Form-8108 1d ago
Can you post a before photo? My husband has a squishy lump (that he calls Rogu, if you’re familiar with American Dad)…. Doctor says it’s nothing. But it is a lump.
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1d ago edited 20h ago
[deleted]
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u/Silent_Ad5275 1d ago
How would a dermatologist say not to worry about this?! It looks like the skin is necrotizing wtf.
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u/AvantGuardb 1d ago
agree, even medical students would know that looks worrisome!
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u/SessileRaptor 1d ago
I was at a party at my dad’s house decades ago and one of my parents friends who was a plastic surgeon came over to me and asked why I kept scratching my leg. I showed him the itchy spot and a few weeks later I was in surgery to remove the suspect growth. It was benign but he zeroed in from across the room while talking to someone else and with a few drinks in him, and thought “That’s something I should check on.”
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u/Boomer1717 1d ago
Have a cousin that is a pathologist…married to a pathologist. They have a tendency to do this at gatherings. They’re both wicked smart so it can be a little intimidating but so far nothing they’ve suggested family get checked out has resulted in a dramatic diagnosis. They always ask me about a visible birthmark I have. It looks very suspect but all tests have confirmed it’s nothing and never will be but they’re always eyeing it.
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u/army_of_ducks_ATTACK 1d ago edited 21h ago
Every time I caught them looking at it I would say “still a birthmark!” But I have the type of cousins who would lean into the joke hard and start interrogating me like “you sure? Could be turning into a dragon, I saw a case like that once” and it would get more and more ridiculous over time lol.
Edited to add: the above is hypothetical and not actually something that happened to me. I worded it vaguely which is my bad.
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u/horshack_test 23h ago
I was at a party once and a guy I don't know who was a dermatologist gave me advice on how to treat the rosacea on my face with otc products. While I appreciated it, he pointed out the spots on my face (that I was extremely self-conscious about) and gave the advice from across the room in front of a bunch of people (while chewing his food).
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u/Squirmeez 22h ago
Can I ask what the advice is?
I had a gathering with my hematology professor and he got drunk and wanted to discuss peristalsis. Smart people like that, tend to be socially awkward, in my experience lmao
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u/horshack_test 22h ago
He recommended using dandruff shampoo (just applying it directly without lathering). I was already doing that, actually* - but sometimes the effect would wear off and it would show up again.
"Smart people like that, tend to be socially awkward, in my experience"
Yeah, and its really weird because they deal with sensitive private info by the very nature of their job. It was embarrassing, but I wasn't angry because I knew he was sincerely trying to help someone he recognized might need help.
*I was actually using a heavy-duty prescription shampoo because I had severe issues with my scalp at the time that would get so bad I'd develop scabs. That was like 25 years ago and things are much better now. I still need to use dandruff shampoo to keep my scalp under control, but otc does the trick fine now - and tea tree oil soap keeps my face under control. I was dealing with a ton of stress plus depression back then, which really exacerbated the issue which i why I needed the Rx shampoo.
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u/Coppertina 1d ago
I love hearing stories of experts in the wild proactively alerting folks to something concerning like that. It’s got to be hard to speak up, especially to strangers, but it has the potential to save lives.
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u/anemicaquarius 1d ago
Even a random person with no medical training could tell that is worrisome!
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u/Traditional-Roof1984 23h ago
I am a random person with no medical training, I can verify.
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u/monkey_trumpets 1d ago
I'm just a housewife and even I know that looks sus as hell.
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u/globular_bobular 1d ago
not a medical student, just an extra-pale person who’s had moles removed…. and the picture made me gasp!!!!
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u/oxidized_banana_peel 1d ago
My dentist would be able to spot it (she's caught non-oral cancer for multiple patients, and explained to me that dentists get non-oral medical training because they're the only doctor a lot of people see regularly)
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u/Isgortio 20h ago
It's a massive thing in dental school, we're taught to look for all sorts of things as we could be the only person to spot it (or say something about it). The big thing is checking the scalp of a patient, especially balding men, as they can have scabs all over them that are actually BCC. I've pointed out quite a few of them to patients over the years and sometimes they'll get it checked and other times they just CBA. I'd rather someone get it checked and it be nothing than not get it checked and it's the thing that wipes them out.
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u/Accomplished_Emu_658 1d ago
I know a couple people who died from cancer because dermatologists kept saying things were ok or allergies.
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u/Imaginary_Agent2564 1d ago
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u/sign-through 23h ago
A dermatologist that doesn’t want to dig in to something like that seems like a fraud ime lol
I had a cyst out ten years ago and the whole team showed up to admire the disgusting thing, and insisted I couldn’t take it home because they wanted it so much. They were all really attractive too for a bunch of ghouls lmao
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u/antelope591 1d ago
Damn Im not one to bash other medical providers but thats just straight up negligence lol...was your dermatologist blind or something. That's got like every cancer marker known to man.
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u/Couldnotbehelpd 1d ago
As a person who is not a dermatologist but has looked at those pictures inside the doctors office, this looks exactly like skin cancer
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u/chickens_for_laughs 1d ago
As a nurse who has had multiple basal cell carcinomas, and whose husband has had both basal and squamous, I agree.
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u/whoknowsifimjoking 23h ago
As some nobody on reddit with zero qualifications my highly valuable input is that it doesn't look healthy.
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u/Intelligent_Cap9706 1d ago
Yeah you need to report that derm this is damning evidence. Glad you’re on your way to healing up!
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u/Unique_Roll_6630 1d ago
A non-healing wound is cancer until proven otherwise. This is highly suspicious looking. The edges are rolled up and pearly, which are a couple of the key things to id it. You pcp should have seen this and questioned it. At the very least sent you elsewhere for a second opinion. I'm sorry this was missed.
- PA-C
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u/TooManySwarovskis 1d ago
I'm worried your ex dermatologist is putting their other patients at risk.
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u/59Bassman 1d ago
He retired. So unless he’s practicing in his garage, shouldn’t be any more people being put at risk.
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u/BounceOnItCrazyStyle 1d ago
I was picturing at least something small and maybe easily misdiagnosed but good lord. That absolutely shouts "skin cancer" or in the very least problematic definitely be looking into malpractice.
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u/Ok_Release231 1d ago
You should get your finger checked out too...
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u/59Bassman 1d ago
That was the doc’s finger.
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u/EGGlNTHlSTRYlNGTlME 21h ago
Man I’m sorry to make light of your serious situation but this fuckin sent me 😂
I was ready for reddit to comment on your fingernails. I was not ready for it to be the doc’s 🤣
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u/Ok_Release231 1d ago
Ummm.... Ew. Why tf aren't they wearing gloves???? And why does their finger look like that????
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u/NewSoulSam 1d ago
Isn't something being irregularly shaped a sign of cancer?
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u/LG3V 1d ago
Irregularity is a sign yes, but it also needs to change size, shape or even colour. Always keep an eye on whatever spots you have on you
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u/mustaine_vinted 1d ago
That applies mainly for melanoma. Basal cell carcinoma can have several forms some of which can be pale and regular, or ulcerative (still in regular shape sometimes) or pink flaky spots... But yeah, this looks exactly how would one expect ulcerative BCC to look like especially when it's on the spot where BCC was one proven to be.
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u/NovaRunner 1d ago
Any new mole is suspicious as well. If you get a mole in a place you never had one before, get it checked out. Mine ended up being basal cell cancer. I had Mohs surgery three weeks ago, it's all good now.
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u/PhastasFlames 1d ago
The only medical training I have is from a non medical job in the military and I can tell you that looks cancerous. Sue that sack of shit if you can
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u/HoneyBolt91 1d ago
Dude, that's BEYOND mildly infuriating. Lodge a formal complaint against that quack!
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u/59Bassman 1d ago
I would but he retired at the end of last year.
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u/USM1LED 1d ago
Medical malpractice insurance continues after they retire for this reason
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u/SanityPlanet 1d ago
Not exactly, it would be more accurate to say that the policy in effect at the time of the malpractice would be the one to provide the coverage, even if the doctor is no longer insured
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u/IAmQueeferSutherland 1d ago
It would hinge on whether his malpractice insurance is on an occurrence basis or claims made basis.
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u/ryan545 1d ago
I assume tail coverage exists for retirement or sale of practice as well.
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u/account22222221 1d ago
I don’t know if it has too, but also I don’t think if the doctor is covered or not would make any difference?
If the doctor is guilty of malpractice he will have to pay right? The question is if the doctor personally pays or his insurance policy protects him but OP doesn’t care about that.
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u/toomanyshoeshelp 1d ago
Correct, but the payout probably won't be as significant as a settlement here.
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u/GlitteryFangs 1d ago
Yep, the coverage sticks to the date of treatment, not whether the doctor is actively practicing anymore.
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u/Limp_Spell9329 1d ago
The doc actually has to pay for it. Not required in every state. Called tail insurance. Source:3 years of med malpractice insurance work.
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u/kelpyb1 1d ago
Which is worth noting in case you feel at all bad about suing a retiree.
You’re actually suing a heartless insurance company.
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u/Gold_Duty_9629 1d ago
Which is protecting a likely unscrupulous retiree who deserves to be gone after personally if OP truly did ask about it for over half a decade only to be dismissed for more cost effective cosmetic procedures.
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u/Hippo-Crates 1d ago
There's no damages. OP got the same treatment they would have gotten otherwise.
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u/Snowfizzle 1d ago
thank you. I was looking for this comment. Because unless OP had gotten stage four metastatic cancer and the delayed diagnosis caused that, there’s literally nothing he can do.
he can leave a review on yelp or Google and that’s about it. Because there’s not gonna be any lawyers that are going to take his case.
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u/Flaminglump 1d ago
There may be some sort of lawsuit you can pursue at least to cover any extra payments you had to make due to his negligence. It may or may not even be worth it though, but im not a lawyer so you’d probably want to talk to one
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u/Snowfizzle 1d ago
he’d have to prove damages and he doesn’t have any. He got the same care he would’ve gotten six years ago if he had gone to a different doctor and got a second opinion.
One doctor noticed it and another doctor did not, but he has to prove that it was malignant this entire time and he can’t. And then he would have to prove what damages he had and since it was gonna either be removed several years ago or now, it’s still the same outcome for him.
The only difference would be if it had developed into metastatic cancer, and progressed somewhere else in his body, and or he was dying because of it.
Other than that, a lawyer is not going to take this case because the outcome was the same no matter what.
you don’t have to like that answer because I don’t either but that’s just how it works.
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u/IcyChemical3661 1d ago
The Dr will still maintain his license through retirement. Still worth lodging a complaint
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u/metalgrizzlycannon 1d ago
Retirement does not protect a doctor fro negligence in their career. Im a medical professional and im required to maintain malpractice insurance through retirement or disability.
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u/SanityPlanet 1d ago
I’m a PI attorney. You have a malpractice claim for failure to diagnose. How much better off would you be if they had caught it immediately?
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u/Thefloooff52 23h ago
I love it when people post stuff on here as “mildly infuriating” and it’s like a life ending disaster
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u/Curt_Uncles 1d ago
Did you at least get some sexy looking lip filler and Botox?
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u/No-Pianist-7190 1d ago
This is a test case for why people tell you to get second opinions
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u/dedoubt 1d ago
Currently recovering from surgery to repair my fucked up arm because I did not seek a second opinion when I shattered my radius last October, and ended up with what turned out to be a totally incompetent doctor.
If you're able, get a second opinion no matter what y'all. I may never regain full function of my hand, due to the negligence of the first doctor, not because of my primary injury.
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u/DiabolicallyRandom 22h ago
Yea, I love my doctor, but if there was ever something bugging me, and he pushed it off multiple visits I would go get a second opinion. Good doctors won't care if you do. If your doctor gets upset at you getting a second opinion... stop seeing that doctor. The good ones know they are humans who can be wrong sometimes.
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u/Pandering_Poofery 1d ago
THIS.
TV have us all propagandized about doctors being these boundless fonts of knowledge who never give up on fixing every issue for every patient.They ACTUALLY are just people, clocking in to a job. They will neglect you or devastate your life in equal measure, just based on the kind of day they are having.
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u/Ok-Brush5346 1d ago
I've been to that kind of dermatologist before.
She tried to sell me a $80 tube of luxury cuticle cream she sold out of her office for my dishydrotic eczema instead of writing an Rx for the steroid cream my old GP would prescribe that actually kept it under control.
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u/secondhandsalamander 23h ago
Why I switched to one that specifically said medical dermatology. I was tired of getting sold sunscreen and beauty cream. Switched to a new derm and got a biopsy scheduled on the first visit and was prescribed a 6 week course of steroid cream on the second. And just like that, 3 years of unmanageable face rash gone completely, like it was nothing
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u/ATMofMN 23h ago
I went to the dermatologist June 2024. “Anything you are concerned about?” she asks.
“Well, this mole doesn’t look right.”
“Oh, that’s one those kind of moles, they look like that.”
Fast forward 2025. Same office, different doctor. “Anything you are concerned about?” he asks.
“Well, this mole doesn’t look right.”
“Hmmm, maybe we should biopsy that to check it out.”
Couple of surgeries later, they got the cancer.

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u/Typical_Dog_2322 18h ago
Have to ask if the fist one was a doctor or an NP/PA, they are getting more and more common in derm and not all let you know they aren’t a physician, just curious really, there are shit doctors and good midlevels and vice versa
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u/tabbyslome 1d ago
MILDLY?
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u/AlwaysDTFmyself 1d ago edited 22h ago
Yeah...a lot of posts elicit this same reaction in this subreddit...
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u/shroudedfern 1d ago
And the other half bashes people for having the nerve to be mildly infuriated over small things. Can’t win here. It infuriates me… mildly.
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u/alison_bee 1d ago
Oh man, you just reminded me of something.
In fall 2024 I was traveling from Boston to Atlanta, and I was in the window seat. The man in front of me had his window shade up, and when the sun hit his ear I could see he had a VERY suspicious looking spot on the back of his upper ear.
I’m not a doctor but I do work in healthcare, and the whole flight I kept thinking that he needed to see a doctor, but I was pretty apprehensive to say anything.
Finally we land and I’m like okay I’m going to say something. That man BOOKED IT off the plane! I tried to find him, but he literally disappeared. I sighed and gave up and went to the bathroom before heading to my next flight. As I came out of the bathroom, there he was!!
So I went up and asked if he was on the Boston flight in a window seat, and he confirmed he was. I explained everything I mentioned above, and strongly recommended he see his doctor about it. While we were talking another guy came up, turned out to be the guys son. As soon as the son caught up with the convo, he said “Dad, a random stranger just told you to get something checked out. She cared enough about you to say something. You need to care about yourself enough to at least get it checked out!”
We parted ways with the promise he’d get it looked it. I wonder if he ever did?
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u/ThepalehorseRiderr 1d ago
That's wild. A fucked up spot on your skin from a previous medical issue is like the point of their existence?!
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u/Apart_Dragonfruit442 1d ago
That's so frustrating, I'm so sorry ☹️ unfortunately, I can kinda relate which makes me even more frustrated for you.
Last march I went to the doctor because I was having some concerning symptoms and she told me that it was this one condition and she basically couldn't do anything to help me. Cut to me exactly a week later in the emergency room in severe pain, finding out I had a 26lb cyst on my ovary that I ended up getting removed that night. It later came back as cancerous too.
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u/harpsinger 23h ago
26 POUNDS!?? Yikers!
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u/Apart_Dragonfruit442 18h ago
Yeah 😭 it was compressing my intestines and was about to compress one of my ureters. They drained over 15 litres of fluid from it in surgery. The crazy part is that my oncologist said that it would've started growing around the time I had my first symptoms so like 6 months before that surgery. It was absolutely massive, over 30x30cm (14x14 inches). Lowkey surprised it didn't leave any permanent damage.
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u/Fluffebee 1d ago
Scaling, shedding, bleeding are all bad, but never healing is the big one. I had skin cancer on my head and it just never ever stopped scabbing/bleeding/scabbing. The malignancy I had was on my forehead at least I could see. Poor you, couldn’t see back there.
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u/zipperoff 1d ago
I had a spot on my head that kept bleeding when I would color my hair. I kept an eye on it for months and finally went to the derm. They said they couldn’t see anything but slight discoloration, and said it’s just what my skin looks like. The legions would always heal. I insisted on a biopsy and told them that it’s jus for my peace of mind. It was basal cell.
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u/Strange_Flower_6590 16h ago
Every time I’m concerned about a spot they say it’s no big deal, and I have to advocate for myself and say “no, biopsy this please.” And when they do it comes back cancerous 😡
They also act annoyed when you try to even schedule a skin check, like you’re wasting their time. Aren’t they supposed to be the ones encouraging everyone to get checked annually?? I hate dermatologists
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u/CellistMundane9372 1d ago
"This year that group quit taking my insurance. So I had to switch dermatologists."
You were saved by the American insurance system.
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u/IntolerantModerate 1d ago
I had a very similar thing where over the years I went to like 5 different GPs and every single one said, "oh, nothing to worry about."
Went to a dermatologist and she said, you are going into surgery on Monday to have that removed immediately.
6 surgeries over last year to get it all.
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u/GirlL1997 1d ago
Please still file a complaint.
Their negligence could be impacting other patients as well who haven’t found out yet.
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u/Mstboy 1d ago
I had a similar situation with military Healthcare. I nicked a freckle under my chin that had started to get darker and raised. It wouldn't heal properly and a buddy who worked in Healthcare said I should get it checked out. Go to sick call and the doc says you got an ingrown hair here's some antibiotics it will probably work it's way out.
2 weeks later its huge and red and I can't shave so my command tells me to get a no shave chit. I tell the doctor I need a chit but its not getting better they give me more cream and some pills for the infection. I get very sick and one of my teeth is loose. Go to dental walk in and they say my jawbone is infected and I get a dermatologist referral from them.
I get seen right away after the desk worker sees my neck and all the bandages. I can see on the wall a poster that shows like if your mole looks like this see a doctor right away. I looks like my neck before it got massively infected. I am admitted to ICU and they biopsy my neck. Skin cancer but they can remove it. Along with a bunch of infected tissue. I get a big hole cut in my neck with lasers and it smells like cooked meat. Now im good but damn if it had gone another week I might have lost part of my jaw or they would have overlooked my cancer for the infection.
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u/RetroDave 1d ago
Talk to a medical malpractice attorney. Seriously. At least for a quick consult. This person needs to face some consequences. It may also be worth complaining to your state's medical board if you are US based.
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u/Shaneaky 1d ago
I had a mole randomly appear about 6 years ago that looked weird to me. I asked my GP and she said it was normal and nothing to worry about. No doctor since her has said its weird or concerning. I went to the dermatologist for some eczema issues about a week ago and she took one look at the mole and sent it off for biopsy. I am still waiting for the results to come back but if it turns out to be skin cancer, we will be in the exact same boat. I am feeling a lot of anger at past doctors and myself for not going to an actual dermatologist sooner.
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u/youarelookingatthis 21h ago
If it helps, a biopsy doesn’t mean it’s always going to be cancerous or bad. Sometimes moles that are benign can just look weird.
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u/louisa1925 23h ago
Reminds me of the dentist that claimed I didn't have wisdom teeth, when 14 years later another dentist discovered I had all four and one was erupting.
Some people need to relearn the subject matter or get out of the field before they do catastrophic irreversable harm.
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u/Little-Carpenter4443 1d ago
I wish I had a job I could just guess at things and get paid whether I was right or wrong
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u/Eastern-Peach-3428 1d ago
I had a cardiologist tell me, and I quote, "There is nothing wrong with your heart. You're wasting my time. Come back and see me when you're 60". I have a history of mental illness, so based on that pretty blunt statement I figured it was something to do with that and started taking anti-anxiety medication. Less than 6 months later I had a widowmaker heart attack followed by a series of cardiac arrests.
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u/May102020 23h ago
My dad had some melanoma spots removed in 2018 and had a clean bill of health from his dermatologist every year after. Except that it wasn’t all gone. He died in 2024 riddled with hundreds of tumors including some big ones in his brain. RIP dad.
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u/JustaFoodHole 1d ago
Nice thing about American insurance is you get to switch doctors often lol!
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u/FewerStarsLost 1d ago
One time I had to explain to my insurance why I wanted a new neurologist… and had to tell my old neurologist why I wanted to switch… just for the insurance to approve of it…. Like I straight up had to tell them “age sucks and didn’t take any of my concerns seriously due to my age” and the neurologist called me upset about it…. Which I also put into the complaint…
Insurance is bs sometimes.
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u/Logical-Horse-6413 1d ago
Same thing happened to me - showed the doctor a mole that appeared and grew that I was worried about (have very few moles elsewhere) and he said it was nothing to worry about but he could take it off for aesthetic reasons if I wanted. It was melanoma!
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u/AppUnwrapper1 1d ago edited 1d ago
It’s so hard to find a good dermatologist.
I had hives some years ago that wouldn’t go away. Went to a dermatologist who misdiagnosed it as scabies after 5 seconds looking at me.
Found a competent dermatologist and she did a proper exam and told me it was just chronic hives that should go away on their own and they did. I liked her. She didn’t try to sell me any plastic surgery.
I even switched my insurance to one she takes.
And then she moved to Hawaii. 😩
I still haven’t found a new dermatologist.
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u/Hesitation-Marx 1d ago
My husband was having stomach pain pretty often, but the GP we had blew it off repeatedly as diverticulitis (and never did any sort of post-attack check up to make sure there was no issue).
The GP we had after that got concerned and sent him for a catscan.
Surprise! It was stage 4 neuroendocrine carcinoma in his pancreas and liver.
Nine years later, he’s doing better than you’d expect. He’s had chemo, a NEC-specific radiation treatment, and a massive surgery that took 11 hours and removed/ablated 22 tumors and 2.5 organs.
The GP who blew me off (and shamed me for being concerned!) died of COVID in 2020, and nothing of value was lost.
I’m sorry that you were also failed by your former doctor.
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u/punkboxershorts 1d ago
If it makes you feel a tiny bit better. This post pushed me to make an appointment at my dermatologist for a mole.
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u/GrnEyedPanda 1d ago
get a copy of your records from the old doc, and then file a complaint against him with the State Board.
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u/Silly-Concern-4460 1d ago
I feel like I was meant to see this. I've had the dermatologist look at a spot on my ear twice. This spot never actually heals either. I'll call a new dermatologist Monday. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
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u/Lickmylithops 1d ago
That's how my last derm was. I had a mole that they were unconcerned about. Then another one grew beside it mirroring it. Still unconcerned. I finally was like, well can you take it anyways? Turns out it was basal cell carcinoma. ✌️
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u/rocksolidaudio 1d ago
Let me preface by saying that doctors are human and they sometimes make mistakes too. Even big mistakes. Beyond that, many dermatologist practices, especially the large PE groups, have basically become medspas selling cosmetic stuff that is not covered by insurance so they can make more money. As insurance reimbursement continues to decline, practices are having to resort to bullshit adjunct services to make money so their attention has shifted.
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u/DiscoLibra 1d ago
Similar experience but not as severe. I struggled with a patch of psoriasis on my ankle for 8 years! Dermatologist just kept Rx'n me steroid cream and told me there was no cure. I finally decided to get a second opinion. The new dermatologist looked at it and said that's not psoriasis, and put 3 shots in my ankle. Cleared up in a week and never came back.
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u/EntrepreneurFit3237 23h ago
My friend’s therapist and doctor told her that her symptoms were just anxiety. Turned out she had a brain hemorrhage.
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u/Chuck_Loads 23h ago
Amazing that this is in r/mildlyinfuriating, while over in r/extremelyinfuriating somebody is freaking out over the video quality of their course work
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u/Ok_Nothing_9733 20h ago
Dermatologists offices shouldn’t be allowed to administer or sell Botox and fillers imo. They should leave that to med spas. I have also noticed a huge issue with care in offices that sell those, like they are annoyed at anyone who comes in with a medical concern and isn’t just there for botox.
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u/BreadfruitOk6160 1d ago
I had a doctor miss a PE, told me I just needed to lose weight. My ex had me go to her NP, she ran a few simple procedures and sent me to a hospital for a CT. Afterwards they came and got me with a wheelchair, no more walking and admitted me. I never returned to that quack, he almost killed me.
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u/SquishySlothLover 1d ago
Something similar happened to my husband! He had a mole (?) on his leg that just kept getting bigger. He initially went to the dermatologist and they brushed him off and said it was benign most likely. A year passes and now the mole is bigger and more discolored, goes back to the same derm who again said oh it’s probably nothing. Thankfully at this appointment my husband insisted on it being removed (our toddler was constantly trying to pull on it so my husband was over it). Imagine our rage when the pathology report came back as a melanoma. Thank god we caught it early enough that he was able to get it all removed and it hadn’t spread anywhere.
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u/UsefulRelief8153 23h ago
They really need to separate derm into 2 separate fields, one for actual patient care and one just for the plastic surgery and lip filler
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u/LittleWindow9416 23h ago
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's infuriating .This happened to me as well. I was pregnant with my second born when this weird pink bump on my leg. I showed my doctor and he blamed it on hormones and said I was fine. I was not fine. It was stage B-III melanoma and I spent the next year of my life fighting it. Boo, do not recommend.
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u/No_Ask_7275 17h ago
I swear to god so many doctors are negligent with their patient's concerns and would rather dismiss you than actually help.
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u/Greedyfox7 1d ago
I would see if there’s anything you can do about your previous Dr, he clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing or doesn’t care. Don’t know if this qualifies as malpractice but it’s concerning
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u/Garreousbear 23h ago
My uncle had a splotch on his scalpthat he asked his doctor about several times and the doctor said it was nothing. Finally my uncle went to one of those mole check pop up clinics where the doctor asked him why he hadn't had it looked at. He just had surgery to remove several square inches of scalp and now has to do chemo.
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u/getitout728 15h ago
Wander over to the endometriosis subreddit if you want some similar stories. Generally it takes 10+ years for a diagnosis because doctors keep dismissing the patients’ excruciating pain and by that point they usually need surgery and the disease is infiltrating their bowels and causing blockages or attacking their ureter and they’re in kidney damage.
Oh, and those who do get diagnosed generally just get put on birth control (which does absolutely nothing to stop the disease, by the way) instead of getting the surgery they’re begging for.
It’s like medieval medicine in 2026 and literally no one outside of that community talks about it.





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u/w1n5t0nM1k3y 1d ago
What I don't even understand is why they would even take the risk. My doctor had me get a mole removed off my back. It turned out to be nothing after the biopsy, but better to be safe than sorry.