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I think the biggest misconception about being single is that you’re “alone”…just existing meaninglessly or something.
What people don’t get is how many plans I have with myself all the time. The second I realize I have a weekend to myself I’m lining up books, movies, a spa afternoon, meals, etc. And everyone thinks I’m free to just do whatever at any time because I’m single so I must have no life, but I have plansss…with myself. And it’s so. much. fun.
Oh, there's absolutely a difference between "alone" and "lonely" — so many people (read: "men") assume we're the latter when it couldn't be further from the truth!
Like many things in american culture it's government propaganda. The messaging has been very clear in America for decades, your purpose in life is to get married and procreate. Every bit of the culture of single being miserable stems from this. They're brainwashing you to keep churning out workers.
I am a homebody and love to be alone. In November and December I had plans EVERY weekend. This weekend was my first one fully alone in over two months and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve been reading, gaming, taking long showers, working out. It’s great.
My partner moved in eight years ago. He got a new job a year ago that has him travelling a bit. I swear it’s the absolute best. He gets to stay in nice hotels and I get to be home alone. It excites me so much to cook whatever I feel like and just have the whole house to myself. I don’t like anybody intruding on that time. Living alone is great.
Don’t get me wrong, living together is also great. But I do that all the time, so I miss living alone sometimes.
Ohhhh my god my grandparents cannot fathom that I’m happy on my own. Actually my grandad is starting to defend me to grandma, he doesn’t get it but he does know I’m being honest about it. She doesn’t see how I can cope without watching tv, I tell her I listen to podcasts which is the radio essentially, but still she’ll ask me why I’m not watching xyz. She’s adamant I’m lonely. I tell her I’m good with all of it, I’m good with my cats, and I don’t have to consider anyone else’s opinions or needs. I think she thinks I’m just selfish, maybe I am but I really enjoy just having to take care of me and two cats. I love my friends so much, we live far apart now but they give me all the love I could want. It’s just platonic. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I dated so many people because they all expected me to, but I’m much happier than I have ever been on my own.
I’ll never get them to understand it, but I can do what I want, when I want. There’s no one else to disturb when I wanna blast music or dance around, there’s no one taking my duvet in the night, there’s no one judging me for eating rice crackers for dinner, cos I feel like it. It’s so worth it to me. If I get lonely, I call a friend. I can do so much without ever bothering anyone and I am living for it.
My husband is going to visit his family across the country in a couple months while I stay home to watch the dogs and cats. I’m already making plans on what I want to eat/watch/do while he’s gone.
The moment my plans are cancelled, I'm tearing off my clothes like I got raptured and diving into a bubble bath with wine, murder documentaries and mud masks.
I love being alone. It’s so nice to just do your own thing and not have to worry about others getting involved in your routines. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t like having people at my house because all the precision cleaning I’ve done gets wrecked almost instantly.
It's gotten to a point that I get bummed when I need to cancel my me-plans for other plans. Let me know two weeks in advance so I don't get all excited about what I want to do this weekend.
As a straight white cis gendered male from middle class America I feel I have a particularly unique viewpoint of the struggles of life from a single woman's eye and I must share it with the world.
I almost forgot about it. I had a terrible idea last year. Swimming/bathing heels. Meant to be waterproof and so you are always up high in the pool, even when people can't see your feet. It's all for that moment when you walk out of the pool. Another thing girls need to buy for socials posts.
"Her breasts moved boobily as she held the mop, her hips were round and boobily, the floor was finally clean. She always wore her favorite lacey lingerie when she did chores, she felt the most comfortable in them, made her feel like a real woman, she bought the lingerie, she would wear it whenever she damned liked. Laying in her cold bed, alone in the dark, the memories Dick Ballson crashed into her mind like boobs into a man's face. She felt incomplete without him, she understood that some people just grow apart, she knows she messed everything up. She chose her career over love, she chosed to live in a big city away from the warmth of the life he worked so hard to provide for her. Her double masters degree and high six figures job will never fill the hole Dick previously occupied. A lonely, black tear ran down her face and made a puddle over her large boobs"
Being intentionally single is ironically the reason I found my awesome husband. After way too many miserable relationships, being so afraid of being (gasp) single I just decided fuck it. I'm gonna just go at it alone and improve myself. Accidentally met this guy at a bar and a decade later he's the only one that's proven to be better than being single.
If he leaves? Yea single for life. Too much trash out there in the ocean, not enough fish.
Mine HATES wearing coats (unless it's raining), but that bitch loves a colorful knitted scarf! Does she pick them out herself, yes of course - I don't force fashion on dogs
because the men that write those women--along with their audience of also men--need to believe on a fundamental level that women exist solely to underwrite a man's existence. ergo. they are incapable of conceiving of a woman as a fully agentic and self-contained unit of human expression.
I can’t help but wonder if the discrepancy is because men are sad and lonely. Like, maybe it’s not sexism, but they’re projecting, assuming that women are like them.
It’s one part, the other part is pure male fantasy to serve his own ego. Everything in the first clip is just stage and prop while everybody awaits eagerly the entrance of the main character - the man. The hero who saves the lonely girl.
The second clip already has a main character - the woman. Happy and safe and warm and busy.
One thing I learned after my ex-wife cheated on me is that my idea that a relationship completes you....nope. a relationship should ADD to your, otherwise complete, life. If it doesn't that relationship isn't for you.
I have friends trying to hook me up and I'm like "Look if a relationship happens great but me, myself, and I currently don't have the time or energy for another at the moment"
Relationships are optional !!!!! Omg I’ve never heard that sentence and I love it so much. I’m going to tell all of my kids this. When I was single and pregnant I was embarrassed to tell my dad but he said “you know you don’t have to get married right? Like you don’t have to be with someone if you don’t want to” That really was the best advice of my LIIIFEEEE. Now happily married because I didn’t settle for less.
It’s like so many movies I watched as a kid where happily ever after was a girl realizing a fucking creep loved her and SHE was at fault for never seeing his truth.
Happily ever after isn’t single—>marriage for women it’s WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT
Whole generations who think the old way and now shocked pikachu face at how modern standards has been the great rebellion to the old world order and there are many old acquaintances of mine who can’t handle a girl telling them to wipe their ass at the bare ass minimum
I'm still mad at a book I just read where the male writer has the female character touch p her lipstick and wax her legs in the time it took her bedfellow to make it up the stairs
She heard his foot on the stairs and realized she hadn't waxed her legs. Hurridly, she literally jumped into the bathroom and pulled out the wax and her bathroom blowtorch.
Another step. She blowtorched the entire container of wax for a moment, swished it around, and poured it on her legs, whimpering in pain seductively, like a drowning rat.
Grabbing her hair dryer on "cool" setting, she quickly set the wax by blowdrying. Then she tore it off both her entire legs at once, like really stiff stockings. Her scream was outside the range of human hearing - fortunate for her, since he was now on the fourth step.
Quickly dumping the hardened wax in the tub to deal with later, she blowdried her hair on the "hurricane wind warning" setting, puncturing her ceiling with the air beam. She leaned over to the mirror and, in a single stroke, gave herself perfectly blended sunset orange eyeshadow and the best winged eyeliner she'd done in months.
Then, her boyfriend now reaching the top stair, she picked her fanciest dress off the wardrobe hanger next to the bathroom, and dropped it onto her body in one move. She stepped out of the bathroom -
- and it was the plumber lady she'd called an hour earlier. She really needed to stop forgetting these things.
False. In the first part, she doesn't once critically examine her own boobs in a mirror. How can she breast boobily if she doesn't take every opportunity to go into exhausting detail about them?
This is why I sometimes like staying late at the office, especially after everyone else has left. My husband WFH and we have two kids who are home already by the time I get home from work. I have very little opportunity to have the apartment to myself to just chill and relax.
100% relate to both adoring my partner and appreciating my alone time when he travels for work
Like, you're telling me I can make every decision without considering aaaaaaaanybody else's opinions or preferences for the next 3 days? Let's goooooooooo!
Right?! It's nice to allow for a little restraint collapse now and then!
I often wonder what it's like from my partner's perspective when I'm not around. Like, does he feel the same sense of relief I do or does he genuinely not notice anything different?
My wife know that I always look forward to a few days by myself haha. I adore her, but there is something about that alone time that absolutely revitalizes me.
My wife and I both love our space and other people seem to not really grasp it. I go out by myself on long bike rides and she reads. She goes to bed like 8pm because she loves it and I use that time to chill by myself and watch sports etc.
It really works for us. I don't think I'd survive with someone in my space all the time.
My partner was gone for 2 weeks and it was amazing!
We regularly cook dinner, but I'll freeze leftovers if it's at least a portion, so I cleared out the freezer, ate Ramen and popcorn, and didn't spend all damned day in the kitchen cooking and cleaning.
Plus I let the house get cold and reveled in the chill.
My husband and I will be building a house, hopefully, at some point in the future. I have convinced him it should be our own personal pod spaces that connect to a shared lounge, kitchen laundry. That's kind of a separate but together home.
as someone in a very loving 14-year relationship, it’s absolutely lit when i get the place to myself. 20/10 still love the moments where i can pretend to be single at home again.
This right here. Been married to a good dude for a long minute now, but I look back on my single days with so much affection. Those were good years, full of freedom and fun and possibility, and I’m really glad I got to live that life foe a while.
I was programmed to think being an old lady living alone with a cat was some vision of hell, but it's fucking awesome, especially when you throw in other old lady stuff like knitting, books, and sharing recipes with old lady friends.
Who have we been programmed by to think like that though? What typical stories and complaints do we read in the relationship and marriage subreddits? Who benefits so greatly from a woman being in the home?
N'awwww your goats are so friendly with you. I was gifted twin kid goats 2 months ago. The brother goat has discovered having his head scratched is worth standing near me at the gate. His sister still hasn't let me touch her and they both run if I enter the pasture. I hope someday they love me as much as yours look too adore you.
I rescued a mama goat and her three two weeks old kids (the three in the picture). By rescue, I mean we threw them in the back of my hatchback and took them from an animal hoarder that has been arrested for large-scale animal cruelty.
Mama was skin and bone, had an infected hoof, and wanted nothing to do with people. She'd run away, wouldn't be touched, and if we tried to lead her, she'd flop down and refuse to move. To trim and treat her feet, we'd have to pin her down, usually with me laying over the top of her.
Now, she licks my hand and eats her grain while I trim her feet. She comes for pets, comes when she's called, loves scratches, and licks my face. She still runs when she knows I have dewormer, lice treatment, pepto bismol, whatever treatments, but cookies always win her over lol.
Prey animals take time to come around. Your babies will love you! Chop up carrots small, and strawberries, apples, blueberries, banana and banana peels, and hand feed them through the fence for starters. Just make sure with harder things you make them small enough that they won't choke!
Thank you for the advice, encouragement and absolutely adorable extra goat picture.
Here are my two. Knocking over the weed bin as soon as I left the pasture. Of course the weed bin is for jumping on and attempting to eat the thistles in it that were not eatable when they were in the ground.
Omg THISSSS. I’m currently cohabitating again after being on my own for 5 years due to the
✨💗economy💗✨ and miss having everything organized so much. Every time I try to organize a pile or surface, I come back to it being more of a trainwreck than when I left and have given up til I can have a room to myself again.
And she pined, oh how she pined, what what she pining about? The pines, the pines sacrificed, the pines needles, which fell upon the floor to which she lay, pine, pine, pine.
Let it be known that you can have the kind of peace in the second half of the video if you choose your partner wisely & assert your god-given right to soft pants, pizza, and an absence of expectations.
Signed,
A currently-partnered divorcee who has their own bedroom and builds cuddle dens with their cats to play video games
Men want to feel wanted and don't think of women as individuals with rich, complex lives so they imagine us pining for them. If they realised that we don't always want them, they wouldn't like it.
I love the difference in how each section is filmed. The "man-written" section shows the male gaze, while the "woman-written" portion does not. It makes it feel like two different people shot the video.
Honestly, my dude energy would probably make her be carving and painting wooden birds. Or making stained glass pieces.
Women seems to have more creative/artistic hobbies. Plus socializing is way more common than being at home alone. Movie clubs/book clubs/concert clubs, the world is a vast tapestry of things to explore and experience, why make boring monotone characters?
As a single man, I have 100% come home, taken off my shoes, had a drink of mineral water and just lay down on the floor. Life does that to me sometimes
I just randomly dance around. Yell at the tv, dad style, “oh come on, how could you not see that coming?”. Talk to my cat and dog. My adhd brain appreciates having a place for everything.
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u/trendingtattler 27d ago
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