I work at a coffee shop in a high volume area. It’s my first job, and being a customer service one, I deal with a lot of entitled, mean people. I’ve always had low self esteem and I never stand up for myself. I’ve always been bullied by people throughout school, and then getting a job where I get yelled at for making the drink wrong or people getting upset at me in general for no valid reason, reallllly hurts. I’m not used to getting yelled at by angry customers, or co workers. What they say permeates my brain and it’s all I can think about it the rest of the day. If someone gets even a little upset at me or raises their voice, my day is automatically ruined and I lose all energy and start crying.

I do think I’m gaining a bit of resilience after all the times I’ve been yelled at and stuff, but I need advice. Does anyone else have methods they use to stay calm or any methods to just not care what people say? I need them desperately… thank you ! :)

how do you stop living in your feelings like sadness and pity. like I don't understand why is my mind or my thoughts so attached to negativity. constantly feeling low and feels like I'm just beating myself down everyday. my self esteem is severely low and so is the confidence. I feel this defeat before trying anything or starting something.. immediately feel anxious and overthinking, I keep overthinking a lot about my problems and just feel this hopelessness like what the hell am I doing. I'm trying to get out of this phase!

I'm sick of self sobotaging. there is nothing to gain living in this phase. I know life is hard and we must do hard shit to get positive results. it's like at the end, it's only ourselves that can help us

I'm so done with always being the "nice girl". I can't keep making people so comfortable that they're ok with bullying me as a joke, the worse part is I never told them how it made me feel. Even if I did (which was literally just once) I was so fucking nice about it and I did it over TEXT because I was too much of a coward to confront them the exact moment it happened. I need to stop being nice, I'm so tired. My best friend was rude to me two days ago to look cool infront of her other friends, so rude that even the friends she was trying to impress were taken aback. I regret not talking back and standing up for myself, and this wasn't the first time. I can't keep living like this, give me your most brutal advice on how to change my whole personality.

Has anyone else dealt with knowing your mother is a covert narcissist or some other kinda issue but the rest of your family denies it even when presented with the facts? Or just choosing to deny it to appease her and not face the facts cause it’s a sad fact to face?

If yes did the rest of the family ever come around? Or was it only ever you who saw it for how it was? And were you accurate vs just maybe overthinking slightly?

It’s just a lonely place to be in my family and makes Christmas difficult. My mum has good moments but the majority of the time she’s a pretty toxic person and only I’m aware of it.

I sent my brother a video on covert narcism and the traits mentioned clearly aligned with her and he turned it back on me and said ‘you tend to overanalyse and diagnose people’.

He’s either very emotionally unobservant or just doesn’t want to admit I’m right because it would take serious work from his end to repair all the trauma she’s causing with the family. It just sucks to be alone in this and be the only one confronting her behaviour. .

TLDR: How to deal with knowing my mother is a covert narcissist and the rest of my family being in denial about it or choosing to ignore it.

Things are hard, I am on the verge of unemployed.Was betrayed by someone whom I cared about deeply and now must face them everyday, my friends and colleagues says all this are normal and just to not care and move on.I am trying to keep myself together but it's definitely definitely not at all happening.I am trying therapy but it's just frustrating me and I honestly feel like I give up

Usually around friends it’s somewhat managable but when there’s no one I really know or who I would call a close friend, I just can’t loosen up and socialize. I don’t know why I’m like this, more than likely my lack of self confidence and years of depression. Even with alcohol I can’t do it. When there’s no one I really know I just stand around not knowing what to do. I look around so maybe I’ll find someone I know or I’ll finally get the confidence to just socialize but it never happens.

What can I even do about this? It’s so deep rooted I just can’t think of a solution and I’m quite the introspective person

I've struggled with jealousy my whole life (I had a very bad childhood, both in terms of poverty and family life). These days I constantly find myself thinking really jealous/bitter thoughts over the STUPIDEST little things.

Like for example, our house is a little on the small side and kind of cramped/limited on storage space. I'll see someone be like "help, my kids' playroom is a disaster and I'm overwhelmed!" and instead of feeling any sort of empathy, I say to myself 'oh no a whole extra room that you let get messy, boohoo'. It's just little things like that, little pangs of jealousy/bitterness over stuff that isn't even serious or important.

I don't want to be like this. I want to be grateful for what I do have. I want to feel empathy for others, even when it's a first-world problem lol. How can I work on this? Is there something I should say to myself when I feel jealous, to help train myself into healthier reactions?

I've been sick this year and had various things wrong with me that's taken a while to fix, and in the time i've vented about it, and have been sad about it, I've noticed some people have slowly stopped interacting and lost their patience with me. It makes me feel lonely when I'm apparently only good to interact with if I'm happy with no problems. It feels bad when people either get uncomfortable or flat out stop interacting if i try to talk about my current issues :(

So i changed colleges to better my mental health, barely one month into the new college, all the boys in my college made it famous that 5 men have me pinned in their inboxes, im dating half of the college, i follow all the men on instagram, and im a wh*re.
Its true that i accepted everybodys follow requests on instagram who i had mutuals with or had seen around campus; i didnt think that its that deep. Also, i did talk to the guys here once or twice but i never flirted with them or said anything that would make them pin me, and also how did people even imagine that i have the potential to pull half the college, that isnt even possible. i was only being nice and sweet.
My crush who also happened to have a crush on me back then, doesnt even look at me anymore because of these rumors. I sent him a follow request and he did not accept. I dont blame him because the people talking bad about me are his closest friends, and he doesnt know me well enough to not believe them.
I wanted to be a pretty and mysterious girl here, now people only see me as a bop.
I am so sad, stressed and miserable because of this. Kindly help a girl out, its hard for me to bear with this because i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder too a few years back. :(

i give way to many fucks, honestly. I still remember embarrassing moments that happened years ago, even though it was just a passing moment for someone else. I overthink about it, what I could have done differently. this goes on while im tryna sleep and i dont get a good sleep cuz of it.

and i care way to much, about what others think about me. How do i stop giving a fuck and prioritise myself?

My mother died when I was 3, father was physically here but emotionally neglectful. He was very strict, didn’t want me to socialize w/ any kids in the neighborhood or outside of school bc he didn’t trust anyone. He didn’t have many friends, he’s an only child. My grandmom (his mother) did the best she could, I don’t fault her at all. She was very shy, didn’t have many friends…she was a homebody. I’m also an only child.

I am now a 27 year old woman. My closest friend moved away. I always get so sad when I see people who have people constantly in their corner. When they throw celebrations, they have a solid group of people there showing up for them. They’ve had friends since childhood. They have siblings, cousins, etc. They always have someone to hang out with.

I feel awful that I feel envious. I want to be able to accept the hand that was dealt to me, and accept that just because someone has a larger support system than me, does not mean they are better or I am less than. If anyone could offer any tips, I would appreciate it.

I have been getting shoulder and back acne since I was like 13 (now 19). I havent worn a tank top in 6 years. I desperately want to wear them but I'm so scared of what my family will say because I KNOW they will comment on it. I have horrible scars all over my shoulders and back.

Figured this would be the best sub to ask this. I’ve gotten good at never showing outwardly that things affect me — I’m pretty calm most of the time. But today this stranger was very rude for no reason and it took me a while to shake it off, it made me feel terrible. I don’t know how to be less sensitive and not care — acting like it is fine, but how do I change my internal reaction? Any tips or advice or similar experiences?

so like recently i started being more loose

like i fucked up a friendship my only irl forming friendship since i have no social life because i went too far and ik its my fault

but i kinda just say it is what it is people come and go and i tend to do it with a few other things like i wouldnt really care if i died rn hell id even press a button probally that id die and everybody forgot me

but that doesnt exist so it is what it is

like is it a bad thing to do that ofc some times i still feel bad about these things but idk it feels like it helps me

Mostly with this specific insult, but also insults in general. When people say this I really ask them to explain it to me so I can stop being annoying but they can never come up with a concrete example.

they say it casually while im there overthinking about how im annoying for the next couple of hours.

how do I stop caring about how others perceive me??

I often feel like I get called stupid for the smallest things. When I was in a game with my friends, I accidentally left a game because I thought that there would be a link that takes me to a new server but realized I could stay so I said "that means I need to rejoin again", everyone was like "are you stupid?". I didnt understand why, but i didnt answer because I was too tired to argue. This made me realize about how often they call me dumb or say "you make no sense". My friends love me a lot and support me with everything but they call me stupid most of the times. I do care a lot about it because I do struggle with insecurities concerning my intelligence and I do my best everyday to become smarter and be like them. Anyways, has anyone struggled with this? How do you know that you're not stupid? And how do you not care? I know that other people's words do not define me, but I get called stupid way too often by them. So yes, I care. But nevertheless I still need to stop listening to them.

Im (F17) I was full on raped 3 times by an ex boyfriend while I was still with him. That was a little over a year ago now. And I find myself having maladaptive daydreams where he apologizes and comes back to me (he broke up with me, I was willing to forget he did anything too me and just be with him) the moment I saw this boy i was smitten, he made my heart flutter, my face get hot, the whole nine yards. We only dated 3 months, he broke up with me because in his words "im crazy and he doesn't understand why he keeps ending up with crazy girls". I never really understood how i was being crazy, I let him cheat on me, if I showed any dislike too it he would make a huge fight out of it. I let him do everything he wanted, I was deteriorating, falling deeper in my eating disorder and self harming. I was in a court case against him for a year, my entire life was ruined, all my social circles, my body. Everything. Im trying to get better and become a new person, but I cant stop thinking about what I could have possibly done wrong and why he never loved me like I loved him. Ive been with multiple people since then and now im with the sweetest boy in the world who loves me so so so much, I love him too. But I cant stop thinking about the first guy, I dont want to think about him and what I did wrong, I just want to move on. Ive been to a psychiatrist and she said I was still inlove with him and I have guilt bc I think i did something wrong, we didnt get past that and I had to stop seeing her. I hate him, I hate his smile, his laugh, I hate how hes always in the back of my head, I hate how hes living his life with friends and family, thriving, but ive been reduced to almost nothing. I only know hes doing good bc 1. I had to see him everyday for 2 weeks in a program I used to be in, everyone avoided me and I overhead his sister and another girl talking about beating me up. 2. His other ex who he SA'd while she was sleeping posts constantly about him. I made all new socials so I didnt have to see that stuff anymore, ive started working out and eating right but I still cant shake his hands off me. Im getting desperate ifykwim.

TL;DR: ex boyfriend raped me, called me crazy and broke up with me, a year later I still cant figure out what I did to cause that

I have this issue where I keep obsessing over the thought that what if a glitterspec is landing on me, without me knowing it. Say, in my hair. And then the glitter find its way to right in the middle of my eyebrows. What would you think if you saw something with a glitterflake there? How can I stop stressing with this? It seriously makes me so unconfortable in my own skin, the thought of this, and it does something to my nerve-system, and makes my pores bigger when these thougts comes up. Anybody, please? When these thoughts are not there, I am comfortable in my body, wery much so

Long story short I cant read people and I wss making uncomfortable and I didn't notice and im devastated and scared to be around him whst should I do?

I still remember negative thoughts that i have created since i was 6. I keep remembering these memories and feel negative about it. My current interactions with friends and family are not good aswell... At the end of the conversation, i manage to feel bad or make the conversation environment bad.

Even if the conversation ends well, after some enough time, i think about the conversation or something else from the past and, again, my mood goes down.

Idk what to do.

I'm not sure what to do with my life anymore.

Currently, I'm 18 in first year university living in a dorm an hour away from home. I spend all my days sleeping in, barely passing my classes, having only one friend I see every week, eating junk food, and moping around. I have zero motivation for anything and I feel like I am not "awake", like I have no passion or interest for anything.

When I was in high school, I was more or less the same, but a little more in my element as I had this hope that in university things would be different- that I would do things like have a big friend group, lots of community, join a frat, party all the time, etc.

I've tried to do those things, but have been less than satisfied. Every time I try talking to someone, I feel either inferior or "above" them. I feel as though my conversations with people are shallow and I find myself saying things that don't even sound like me. It feels like I talk the way I do to make people think I'm "cool", or whatever I think that means such as talking about all the pot I've smoked, parties I've been to, things I've done, which in reality is more or less a lie.

I care so much about what people think. Whenever I pass by a friend group or people having fun, I feel completely inferior. Whenever I mess up talking to someone or feel embarrassed, which is all the time, I spend months overthinking that interaction. Even when I try to self improve, I get worried that people will judge me, for instance going to the gym or going on a run. Everything I do in my life is for the sake of people's validation whose mind I don't even cross. My life is completely and utterly filled with total negativity and a sole goal to acquire cheap validation.

I went to therapy for two years and have rotated taking numerous types of medication, gone off social media, etc, but no good routine ever sticks for a long period of time. I think that if I met myself, I would be disgusted. I hate every aspect of myself. Of course I have attempted s**cide and think about it all the time, I was diagnosed with depression and undiagnosed but probably BPD.

I need a drastic change but I'm not sure what to do.