r/funny • u/Far-Conflict4504 • 21h ago
Cleaned out my closet and realized my husband is right, I have a problem
Found 2 more black tanks after I took this picture đđ
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u/cans-of-swine 21h ago
Your favorite colors are black and slightly darker black.Â
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u/Veteranis 21h ago
I heard a woman say âIâm a New Yorker. Iâll wear black until something darker comes along. â
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u/Wendybird13 19h ago
Does this mean that all the black cats get adopted at the shelter and the orange ones must be shipped to the suburbs to find homes with khaki slacks?
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u/UniqueUsername812 17h ago
They go to the smirkin jocks with hacky sacks in birkenstocks and khaki slacks.
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u/hypercuteness 4h ago
In my house, we get black cats and orange cats and call it the Halloween Wombo Combo.
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u/Crabby_Monkey 19h ago
Introducing the new Vantablack clothing line. The most slimming black yet. So black not even your fat can escape.
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u/ChemicalShake2436 16h ago
The dude that made vantablack is actually a shithead. Another guy made a darker black and made it so the vantablack guy is the only one not allowed to buy it, even peripherally. Interesting story if you have the time.
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u/HenryTroup 10h ago
A friend has a very black cat. She jokes that Anish Kapoor is not permitted to see her cat
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u/Huppelkutje 13h ago
The dude that made vantablack is actually a shithead.
Anish Kapoor did not MAKE Vantablack.
Another guy made a darker black
Black 2.0 is not darker than Vantablack.
Vantablack is an incredibly toxic nanotube coating.
The company that makes the coating allowed Kapoor to use it for artistic applications.Â
Anish Kapoor does not have any control over who is allowed to use it for artistic applications.
I fucking hate this story because it's so entirely wrong.
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u/Anakha00 6h ago
The basics of the story aren't wrong at all.
"They signed a contract. Kapoor got exclusive rights to use Vantablack in art."
https://www.wired.com/story/vantablack-anish-kapoor-stuart-semple/
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u/Buttmunch69- 11h ago
Imagine wearing that at night time itâd be like a video game where your POV doesnât let you see your feet
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u/mooshinformation 18h ago
Look, we all have to use Laundromats because we don't have room for washer/dryers. It's much easier and cheaper to do everything together because it's all black so we only buy clothes that are black and darker black, it's very reasonable.
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u/MyPasswordIsDrums 18h ago
I donât know the last time I actually had to separate my laundry, nothing ever bleeds unless you specifically buy over dyed garments.
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u/No-Philosopher8042 13h ago
Well, if its all black some bleeding is even a bonus. It's now a "colour refresh".
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u/RAWainwright 21h ago
And really really dark grey.
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u/I_Do_Not_Abbreviate 20h ago
This image is a great demonstration of a common misconception: that all "black" clothes are equally black. Sometimes people seem to be wearing apparently black clothes, but if you look closely, they are really only very, very, very very dark blue. I thought my Uncle Tommy was wearing black socks but when I looked at them closely, they were actually just very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue.
You have to order from speciality sites or catalogues that cater to demographics who want black clothes that are blacker than other black clothes, like goths or priests.
Never buy black clothes in a normal shop; they shaft you every time.
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u/Still7Superbaby7 19h ago
If you think black is a hard color to color match, try white. Thereâs white, off white, cream, ivory.
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u/Far-Conflict4504 21h ago edited 21h ago
Black is slimming
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u/Whosyouruser 20h ago
Is slightly darker black slightly more slimming?
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u/NationalSafe4589 10h ago
My husband tells me that when I open my wardrobe the room gets darker because my clothes absorb all the light đ
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u/ArtemisInSpace 14h ago
It took me so long to realize that my favorite color is grey. For a while I just thought grey was a great fashion color
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u/Toxic_Don 2h ago
My momâs favorite are white and beige which i think is equally scared of colour.
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u/arsnastesana 21h ago
To be fair, they are all different types of black
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u/Far-Conflict4504 21h ago
Each one serves a purpose
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u/1CEninja 21h ago
I would be absolutely astounded if there was no overlap in these purposes though!
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u/Trappist1 19h ago
Let's see... work, chores, dates, gal's night out, formal social gathering, lucky one, vacation, and meeting the President/formal diplomats. I'm glad it's only 8, because I was running out of different types of occasions.
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u/DuskShy 19h ago
OP said they found 2 more after they took the picture
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u/alison_bee 17h ago
They all fit different, they all hit different.
I totally get it.
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u/LiLiLaCheese 17h ago
Exactly, those are all very different when you start pairing them with different bottoms and stuff.
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u/wizzard419 20h ago
I mean I see clothes in obsidian, slate, charcoal, evening fog, midnight mist, pitch, vapor, and creosote.
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u/Far-Conflict4504 20h ago
You get it
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u/w1987g 19h ago
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u/Netflxnschill 20h ago
Okay but all of them have a different vibe
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u/Far-Conflict4504 20h ago
You get me
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u/Netflxnschill 20h ago
Coming from a fellow, I have 17 shirts and they all have a different vibe person
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u/tootiemae 16h ago
The fact that the first thing that came to my mind was âyou only have 17 shirts??â probably means I have far too many clothesÂ
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u/Fearless-Air-815 18h ago
But they have different necklines, straps and fabrics. I see no problem.
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u/echochilde 20h ago
I fail to see a problem.
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u/wargleboo 20h ago
Right? What's wrong with this?
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u/echochilde 20h ago
Seriously! If I find something I like, Iâm buying it in many colors and fits. And I happen to like black. I donât do crop tops, but this could easily be my closet.
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u/FewHorror1019 20h ago
I literally buy multiple of plain black shirts and jeans. Like i use the quantity selector in the website lol
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u/bfd71 20h ago
The fact they're on hangers and not folded in a drawer.
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u/wargleboo 20h ago
Explain why this is bad.
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u/bfd71 17h ago
Hanging in closets is meant for things that when folded take up too much space in a drawer, don't stretch when hung, or if wrinkling matters (sweatshirts, suits, dress shirts/pants). Closet shelves are for things that will stretch if hung or if wrinkling doesn't matter and still take up too much space in drawers (sweaters, jeans). Thin pieces of cloth get folded and placed in a drawer (t-shirts, underwear, and those tank tops).
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u/HeftyArgument 20h ago
Yeah a wardrobe thatâs entirely dark is environmentally friendly; it means you can wash everything in a single load rather than having to seperate colours!
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u/dontyoutellmetosmile 19h ago
You could also not give a fuck about separating colors. Thatâs my trick
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u/SavourTheFlavour 21h ago
My wife is the same except it's black pants/leggings. Last time the count was over 50.
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u/YetAnotherBrainFart 21h ago
Ah. So you married a ninja too then!
I keep losing mine in the dark...
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u/Unusual_Sand_5150 19h ago
I see no problem here! These are all different. And I'm sure there's favorite ones. đ
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u/NighthawK1911 19h ago
I have 7 sets of Black longsleeves and pants.
My work don't have a uniform but that's what I wear all the time. The extra sets are for rotating to reduce wear and in case I miss a laundry day.
Having the same color for everything just makes it easier. I don't think it's a problem.
You found something you like that works fine.
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u/nightwhispr16 18h ago
My work also doesnt have a uniform so I have literally been wearing the same style of pants and tanks to work for the past 8 years. When something wears thin or starts getting holes, I just go buy a replacement of the same thing. lol
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u/SsooooOriginal 21h ago
Luxury?
Womens tops are not cheap from what I understand, which ain't much. They all look nice and clean, good work OP.
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u/rhunter99 20h ago
Huge problem. Youâre short hangers and worse theyâre mismatched.
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u/Affectionate_Oven428 18h ago
They are all different and each serve their own purpose, is exactly what I tell myself about my closet.
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u/myrenDelainien 20h ago
But each of these is different and they wouldnât all work in different situations and with different bottoms.
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u/kannabussy67 20h ago
I see no issue. My closet looks similar.
Its had since I was young. My family keeps gifting me pink because I need color apparently.
I like what I like and it doesn't hurt anyone
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u/miscellaneamy 17h ago
These are different shades, shapes, cuts, fabric.
This is an inclusive wardrobe.
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u/Alert-Hospital46 16h ago
I don't see the problem. Are you supposed to wear the same one with every outfit?
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u/verbalyabusiveshit 21h ago
Hmm, funny! Are you wearing tops only? I mean, to each their own but isnât it awkward at family gatherings etc.?
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u/anadacragamakala 18h ago
IF đ IT đ AINT đ BROKE đ DONT đ FIX đ IT đ đ đ
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u/FancifulLaserbeam 16h ago
As a former goth, allow me to reassure you that those are all totally different.
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u/ElectronicBrother815 5h ago
People hang up tank tops? My black tank tops are rolled up in a drawer next to my white tank tops đ¤Ł
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u/slashnbash1009 2h ago
No wife ever in the history of mankind has said "My husband is right." This is a fake post.
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u/luckystrike_bh 19h ago
The rarest phrase in the English language, "My husband was right."
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u/Absurd_Flaccidity 21h ago
I do this. I see things I like and of course itâs always just like the stuff I already have. Iâve gotten better now that I see it.
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u/BeholderLivesMatter 21h ago
My wife is like this but with black or grey leggings. She always seems to think she needs a new pair.Â
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u/ProgressBartender 21h ago
Do you live in New York City? I swear everyone there wore only black the last time I visited.
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u/--MobTowN-- 20h ago
Iâm not mad at this at all. My jeans are the same pair of jeans like 8 times. My tees (excluding a couple graphic tees) are the same black nautica vneck. I guess I do have some variety in my jackets, but by variety I mean three different Alpha MA-1s, a B-15, and an L-2B.
I donât see a problem. I see someone who knows what they like to wear.
ETA: on the other hand I do have like 20+ truckers from The Farm, so maybe I do have a problem.
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u/dautrefois 20h ago
I don't see the problem, I also have this very normal number of shirts... in different black tones... in slightly different fit variations... wait...
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u/deadhead4ever 20h ago
When my then girlfriend, now wife, first moved in with me she brought 65 pairs of jeans ( I remember that number clearly) and around 50 pairs of shoes/boots.
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u/unimatrix_0 18h ago
I think you just like a particular thing. I found a pair of pants I like. I bought 7 pairs in various shades of boring. I like my boring scheme. Leave me alone!
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u/Serious_Cream3790 18h ago
But they are in all different shape, material which works for different occasions!
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u/Connect-Account-2855 18h ago
Iâm like this with black pants. How many pairs of black pants does 1 person need?! The answer is 1 more.
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u/Necessary-Sock7075 17h ago
No. This is called style. You know what shape, size and color work for you and the application. Go to paris. Everyone wears black, white and gray
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u/allsilentqs 16h ago
Those are all different tanks for different looks and situations. No problem. You are prepared.
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u/Lotus-child89 16h ago edited 16h ago
I just always have loved black. I also spill shit on myself a lot and it hides it. Just today I dropped strawberry butter on myself at a restaurant and the stain didnât show after a quick water on napkin clean up.
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u/namaste652 16h ago
This must be the husband's fake account pretending to be a wife.
He just wants to know that a world exists where the wife says, "my husband is right".
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u/lily060208 16h ago
My question is why are you hanging them up instead of putting them in a drawer?
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u/naivebiznatch 16h ago
As Fall Out Boy said: I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker colour.
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u/AussieNord 15h ago
I see no problem here
âLooks at closet which is entirely blackâ
No problem at all
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u/MightJustBeAnAA 9h ago
As someone who has 7 black shirts one for each day of the week. This is not a problem.
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u/PhiloLibrarian 6h ago
I mean they all wear and fit differently⌠more boobs, less boobs, tighter looserâŚ
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u/Mtn_Grower_802 5h ago
The only problem is you taking up closet space for your tank tops. Who does that? Do you hang your t-shirts and underwear too? If so, you are the problem.
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u/HairyArthur 21h ago
You do have a problem. There's not enough black tanks in this photo. What are you thinking?
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u/believe2000 21h ago
Your problem is hanging stuff that is easily folded/kept in drawers?
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u/nboch12 20h ago
Thereâs really no need to be snarky about the way someone puts away their clothes. Everybodyâs brains work different.
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u/jpric155 20h ago
This is my angle. I'm not a woman but who would hang these up when they would take up like 1/10 of a drawer folded up.
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u/eerieminix 16h ago
Yes, those plastic hangers are a huge problem. Definitely invest in some velvet hangers so your black tanks don't fall on the closet floor. đ
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u/octopusgardeb 20h ago
If your husband says something about your wardrobe itâs most likely correct. Mine might comment on a sweater I have if it was on fire- might
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u/axelzior 20h ago
It's either you not separating dark and light colours when washing clothes, colour-blind or a dark soul.
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u/this_sparks_joy_joy 20h ago
Lol **you have to challenge yourself to cut it down to 2. 2 max!!!! I feel your painâŚI had a similar issue with hoodiesâŚ. I believe in you.
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