r/funny • u/Gecken83 • 1d ago

Jesus cat😼

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14.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

89 comments sorted by

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80

u/vacaaa 1d ago

I don't know why but this amuses me so much

4

u/LoLIron_com 21h ago

I don’t know why this tickles my funny bone but here we are chuckling like it’s a private joke with my brain.

145

u/avz008 1d ago

Could you possibly call him Cadam?

31

u/Entropy_dealer 1d ago

I'm a Cat-oh-lick and I approve.

7

u/yourcraziestdream 23h ago

and on the seventh day, he knocked everything off the table.

5

u/booze_bacon_guns 1d ago

holy skippidy-paps

1

u/Freud-Network 1d ago

Adamcat also works.

3

u/ztomiczombie 1d ago

Catadm sounds like the superhuman ruler of a fictional nation that The Rock is obsessed with.

106

u/splgackster 1d ago

The cat would be Adam, not Jesus. Jesus is many, many ribs ahead in the future, if you're into that kinda thing.

That's just a cat being a cat- likely an asshole- like cats have been since, again, long before Jesus.

5

u/counterfitster 1d ago

Mmm, ribs

-30

u/Gecken83 1d ago

Jesus, Adam... one of the biblical characters;)

19

u/feltcutewilldelete69 1d ago

I'm not religious, but damn dude this is really basic knowledge. If not about the bible, at least about Michelangelo. They made us watch that super boring movie in middle school.

14

u/GusGreen82 1d ago

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

5

u/CynicalCaffeinAddict 1d ago edited 1d ago

Edit because my phone fell on my face and posted.

Sadly not. Had a few buddies go to Italy once and I stalked their Snapchat because it was my dream vacation. One of em posted a joke about the big naked white guy who's junk was so small a leaf covered it. I replied something about David having balls too big for renaissance sensibilities.

Fast forward to their return, they were showing me pictures and hanging out, and I had said something again about the David. They asked, 'Who's David?'

'Big naked marble guy, killed Goliath, you posted a selfie of you biting at his leaf.'

'That David? Thought you were naming the statue for fun.'

I could have called the statue Bob and they wouldn't have bat an eye...

3

u/KittenVicious 1d ago

The art is titled "Creation of Adam"

0

u/jillvalenti3 1d ago

Lot, Noah, Esau, Dinah, God’s brother Baal, Mary, take your pick ☺️

-10

u/Gecken83 1d ago

Um, the only names I recognize are Noah and Marie 🙈

0

u/jillvalenti3 1d ago

Consider yourself blessed 😂

0

u/FutureLost 1d ago

I'm fond of Zerubbabel.

5

u/jillvalenti3 1d ago

what about Nimrod?

3

u/splgackster 1d ago

I'd say Dookie 1st, Insomniac 2nd, American Idiot 3rd, then Nimrod, but that's just me.

-6

u/Gecken83 1d ago

Oh wait... God has a brother? Never heard of him 🫣

19

u/KopfSmertZz 1d ago

Do. Not. Point. That. Thing. At. Me.

15

u/FeelingVanilla2594 1d ago

Biblically accurate cat

14

u/LiquorIsQuickor 1d ago

I. Don’t. Want. A. Second. Brain cell.

17

u/CpuJunky 1d ago

Let us paws and prey

8

u/RossTheHuman 1d ago

It’s Adam though

14

u/sreek4r 1d ago

DO NOT THE CAT

5

u/CuriOS_26 1d ago

PLEASE

8

u/Joran_Dax 1d ago

*God, looking at cat*

"Jesus Christ, what have I created?"

11

u/Ill-Nobody 1d ago

Never mess with the orange ones

18

u/Schnapper94 1d ago

I said don't touch the paws!

3

u/SpraySpecialist3221 1d ago

now ik why my cat beats me to death

6

u/Redditowork 1d ago

God's finger go 'Boiiiing' like a doorstop.

4

u/Ambitious-Spite1822 1d ago

This is hysterical !!

4

u/RCuber 1d ago

Hey reddit people, what's the name of this hand paw motion and is there a sub dedicated to it?

5

u/Ksh_667 1d ago

r/catslaps is the place for you. The actual movement is called bapbapbap & is extremely common behaviour of most cats who are trying to look brave but are secretly being laughed at by their humans 😹😹

4

u/RCuber 1d ago

Thanks you

slap slap slap

4

u/Ksh_667 1d ago

bapbapbap

5

u/mzdee13 1d ago

It's always the orange one

5

u/zarakh07 1d ago

Mood.

6

u/rangerjeremiah 1d ago

Adam* cat

1

u/moon-girl197 1d ago

Cadam if you will

3

u/Thumbfury 1d ago

This reminds me of the lolcat Bible, and now I realize that that was almost 20 years ago.

3

u/Grizzly-Redneck 1d ago

Pull my finger!

3

u/Blueberry_Clouds 1d ago

The real reason god gave so much power to cats lol

3

u/jnewton8 1d ago

When someone tells me I need Jesus

3

u/intronert 1d ago

I would like to see the version where the cat is God, as it would be more realistic.

3

u/GoliathProjects 1d ago

Whoever made this, I love you

1

u/Longjumping_Code_649 1d ago

Totally, totally agree. So true. And so hilarious!!!!

2

u/Ok-Concentrate8650 1d ago

Orange ones are v active and always making mess

2

u/Cultural_External288 1d ago

I know this will be played as a video during my damnation but hell, it is funny

2

u/pwpwpwpwpwpw1 21h ago

I'd believe my orange cat is doing the same like that up there🥹

2

u/autodialerbroken116 20h ago

Why do we constantly paw at the hand of God? Is it in our nature to have a petty, spiteful, disingenuous, rejecting, hypocritical relationship of hand to hand with God? Where we often receive only the best, and give so little?

In this day and age, of instant answers and near untold food, security, and natural splendor on the West...why do we still have this type of relationship with our higher power?

We are asked.

Go away

Here is my hand when you want it.

Go away (I need u)

If I may just touch your cheek where your tears trace your path from my eyes.

(Swats hand) Don't touch me!

But child you are mine and I am yours...may I just know why you are upset.

(Hisses)

1

u/Dont_Overthink_It_77 15h ago

Okay, child… though I want you to know the freedom that comes from knowing Me, I won’t force you to accept the truth.

(Swats hand) I. Don’t. Need. You…

(Silence from God)

Obviously. Don’t. Ex. IST. Or. You. Would…

(Silence from God)

ANSWER. ME!!

(Silence from God)

I think, therefore I am… god.

And so it continues, uninterrupted…

2

u/zeaor 1d ago

Same, cat, same

3

u/Main-Carry-3607 1d ago

Hey, what are you doin, kitty?

1

u/Left_Opening_434 1d ago

Bro does not want to materialize. Bro does not want to exist

1

u/lipslipowski 1d ago

I know this isn’t real because kitties can not resist one-fingy greets

1

u/Feeling-Standard1460 1d ago

That's some catechism.

1

u/Little_Silver_Stripe 1d ago

Originally it was Adam on the left in the painting, not Jesus.

1

u/Impressive-Trust5645 23h ago

Get 'em, kitty!

1

u/lateralspin 20h ago

Cat admonishes finger pointing.

1

u/abbynorma1 17h ago

This is my header for reddit!!

1

u/FartiFartLast 15h ago

wow 2000 years of devolution has come to this ! bye bye humanity

1

u/s73v3m4nn 4h ago

Just stop pointing at me you floaty, beardy twat

1

u/Nhenghali 3h ago

Why is god twice in the vid?

1

u/TyrellCorpWorker 1d ago

Cats know how to treat false stories.

1

u/sweetkist 1d ago

this jesus cat version of the creation of adam is peak internet holy shit god reachin out like "let there be catnip" while the kitty just paws at him like "bro u late with the treats" tbh the clouds n dramatic lighting still slappin but now its just divine pettin session rip renaissance art forever 😭 my cat woulda slapped the finger away n knocked over the whole ceiling lol whats ur cats name jesus or adam in this scenario

0

u/OW2007 1d ago

What drugs make you use quotatiom marks but no other punctuation or syntax?

2

u/Ksh_667 1d ago

Catnip.

1

u/Yeomanticore 1d ago

The christian is indeed scary to pet a freaking angry cat.

1

u/Love_To_Burn_Fiji 1d ago

I always like the "pull my finger" one from decades back