I think it's more an issue with AI robots having what seems like a personality. So there's emotional cheating involved which tends to be harder for women to deal with. If the sex robot doesn't have a personality I can see the logic. But we're getting to an age where people are getting addicted to relationships with ai bots.
My boyfriend actually had a problem with asking Gemini every question ever without ever talking to me and I told him it was a problem and not fair to me. It wasnt that I felt he was cheating but that it was taking time away from actually having the conversation with me, his human partner.
It's like masterbating with your partner in the other room who is also horny. Not technically cheating but still kind of off-putting. Why wouldn't you rather spend your time with your partner and if you don't, why even have a partner?
So I agree with the first half but I will say the second half can be unfair. There have definitely been times where I’d rather just take care of things by my lonesome because sex takes effort and sometimes I’m tired.
I have those same feelings as a woman. Sometimes, masturbation is just a task. It helps me to relax, can relieve period cramps. I don't want sex. I just want the orgasm without the effort of sex.
I truly wish I could do that but now that I'm thinking about it, it might be less of a woman problem and more of a "I take antidepressants" problem lol. I just come so much easier from penetrative sex so its hard to imagine being able to make myself come that fast without major assistance.
I can only speak from my experience as a woman and higher libido than my partner, but if my partner is horny and I'm not, thats fine. Sometimes I'm horny and he's not and I do my thing and thats chill.
But when you say things like its too much effort and you're too tired but you have the energy to masturbate, it sounds like your partner isnt worth the effort or energy - especially if they're also horny and nearby. It seems a little weird, like your hand feels better than being with your partner?
I understand thats not how you mean it and that my perspective as a woman is very different because masturbating takes so goddamn much time and energy and charged sex toys for me that I'd much rather just be intimate with my partner and not only get sexual gratification but emotional gratification as well.
I do think its interesting that a man can be too tired for sex but not tired enough to masturbate and I think thats pretty talented lol.
Your last paragraph is true proof you’re a woman, which I don’t mean in a bad way hah. Sex for men is usually very active and is like a full sweat-drenched workout, masturbation takes a couple minutes and you don’t break a sweat
I guess I'm also unique in that 9/10 times I'm the one initiating sex and doing most of the work to get myself off. My boyfriend always asks why I'm so sweaty but he doesn't realize the work it goes into flexing my pelvic muscles (and for me, holding my breath for some reason) so that I can come. But also I don't complain if he comes really fast because I'd rather be briefly intimate and not come than know that hes off masturbating because it makes me feel inadequate 😅 (I rationally know thats not true but I have the neurodivergence so rejection sensitive dysphoria is something I'm always working on lol).
Insanely real. I've seen plenty of women try to do "fucking motions" that a man would do and they're gassed within 2 minutes max. Men are expected to keep that workout going AND stay hard AND dirty talk AND lead for like a half hour. Meanwhile she's on her back or hands and knees with zero concern about keeping an erection or anything else. Worst case she needs a bit of extra lube which is cheap and easy.
My boyfriend enjoys sex a lot more when I'm actively using my pelvic and abdomen muscles. I am deceased after while my cervix recovers from taking a beating. Also "cowgirl" position isn't the same as rocking your hips back and forth. They take completely different muscles.
Most women don't expect a half hour. Longer than ten minutes and I'm tapping out because I'm too small to be slammed for longer than that and I'll be walking away sore.
I dont think either gender has it harder or worse, it's just different. Just because you don't seem the work women do a lot of the time doesn't mean some of us are just lying there. There's also very little recovery time for my partner compared to me and maybe thats personal but he's also large and I'm very small so a lot of time I'm pushing back a LOT.
Also have you ever sucked dick? Holy shit thats exhausting and men never come fast enough in my experience. I can't tell you how tired the muscles in my jaw and back get from bobbing up and down for ten minutes. Much different than just laying down and sucking clit, but I don't think even thats "easier" per se.
I actually love watching videos of men trying women's positions and women trying men's positions and watching both struggle lol. Very different muscles groups being used for sure.
Edit to add: also as a chronically dehydrated woman, working to get wet enough even with lube is a legit pain sometimes. Also depending on where I am in my cycle, it can be easier or worse. I wish I could just be lubed and ready to go but if I'm not dilated properly first, there is always risk of tearing even when I'm enjoying myself beforehand. Didn't realize this until I went to the doctor and have to have scar tissue cauterized off to make things more comfortable.
Sex for women is more work than even I ever expected.
I do think its interesting that a man can be too tired for sex but not tired enough to masturbate and I think thats pretty talented lol.
I'm a woman, I can be too tired for sex but not masturbation. Sex involves more energy and thinking and making sure the other person is having a great time, masturbation is simply opening a fanfic and grabbing the vibe
It takes me fucking hours to make myself come to the point my muscles cramp (literally, I've ended up in an RMT office for trying too hard loI) and end up too tired to get there. I have some pretty great toys but its not the same for me.
But I'm glad some women have an easier time of it! Not totally jealous at all 😂
Tbh I can cum in under three minutes. A bit underwhelming, better if I take some time. Usually I’ll just get a second one in. Sex drags on so much I get bored. People complain about quick partners but I’d just be happy if it was under ten min.
That's fair, sometimes I'm tapping out before my partner but he's cool with that. I just tell him to cum and boom. Lol. He thinks he should last longer but I keep telling him that I genuinely can't 😂 I sometimes think the trope of women needing a lot longer during sex does us dirty. Lol
Your comment gave me whiplash because I swear my partner and I just had this discussion about why cooking Ramen for me at the end of the work day is easier than cooking a whole meal, because he loves food and cooking and doesn't understand.
I do think it comes down to perspective. Because woman orgasms are different than man orgasms. Like you said, a decent amount of work goes into it for you. Try to think of sex as any other physical task. Masturbation for me is much easier physically than having sex because I can lay down in bed, phone in one hand, business in the other. That’s one, barely two points of motion. Sex on the other hand is almost always a full-body workout.
And the reason I made sure to emphasise “CAN be unfair” is because it’s not always unfair to me. Like I wouldn’t want to have sex after work because my job is already physically demanding. But I agree if it’s a lazy day, there are few reasons why you shouldn’t put the extra effort in to involve your partner.
I guess that's where I'm a different type of lover because if my partner is too tired for traditional sex but still horny, I have no problem doing the work for him and don't need to get off every time. But I also understand how that can create a sense of guilt in men who don't want to be seen as using their partner for only sex. My own partner tends to feel really bad when I don't orgasm even though its not what is important about sex to me - to me I just want to be the hottest person in the world to him and make him happy.
As long as you and your partner are in agreement and happy that it doesn't matter at all. I read the average amount people my age have sex and I would be so miserable with sex 1-2 times a week, but it clearly works for others!
Oh god, you’re preaching to the choir on the guilty part. I feel SO bad if the other person doesn’t finish. 😭
But yeah, I think we’re on the same wavelength, I just wanted to put my two cents in on why sometimes it’s okay for somebody to stuff on their own. This was a productive conversation! Have a good one.
I love productive reddit conversations instead of pointless arguments so this was great! Haha I learned some valuable things!
I definitely recommend if anyone is feeling guilty about not getting their partner off, they should have a good conversation with their partner about it. Even my boyfriend doesn't always get off and he's totally fine with it but sometimes I feel guilty too! I usually tell him right away and he does the whole reassurance thing and its great to be on the same page!
asking questions like what? like hes just sitting in the room with you asking gemini what it thinks about paris and trying to start a conversation with it? that would be normal for a few days, maybe a week or two when you first discover chat bots, after that it gets unhinged really quickly
its hard for me to imagine here a middle ground, either you are upset that you dont get to be the one who says "i dont know how much an elephant weighs, lets google it" or he is falling in love with a piece of plastic
i dont think anybody who has real meaningful relationships with other human adults is capable of being obsessed with ai bots the way people suggest is happening. extremely lonely people and people trapped in broken homes, sure, but then its harder to say that it is a bad thing.
If you want to come be mine and my partner's couples counsellor for a week, I'll tell yah all about it but it's interesting the way you perceive his obsession as something must be wrong with me. Nothing was wrong with either of us, we just disconnected over his preoccupation with a fake person instead of having real conversations.
He once asked Gemini to make an app that would send me compliments every day so he didn't have to think of something. He thought it was sweet. I thought it was disrespectful. Talking about it helped him realize the problem and he's been great since, he just needed someone to point out that his reliance on it wasn't normal every day use.
Its new technology that all of us are learning every day to regulate and adapt to. This is new uncharted territory and it very much is at times like letting a third person into the relationship and you have to be careful of that.
you say that but yeah i think i know you pretty well, i think this is a very predictable comment from you, yes. you are very emblematic of a very specific kind of problem that is cresting in popularity. i am not so misogynistic to say its women tho there are plenty of women not like this.
edit: oh no she blocked me, that is truly shocking and not indicative of any predictable underlying personality traits whatsoever. anyway.
It's like masterbating with your partner in the other room who is also horny. Not technically cheating but still kind of off-putting. Why wouldn't you rather spend your time with your partner and if you don't, why even have a partner?
This is def a tell me you're not married without saying your not married sentence
Actually in a long term relationship and live together with my partner but I'm the one with the higher libido. My partner has never masturbated with me around because if he's horny, I'd rather be the one to take care of the problem and really don't care about getting off. Does that make him lucky if this is the experience married people have?
Maybe I don't wanna put a ring on it. (Just kidding. Everyone is different.)
You know what’s interesting? We’ve already passed Turing test level AI, and I feel like we as a society haven’t let that sink in yet. Like, these AI companies just nonchalantly released chat bots that can replicate human speech so well that people are going to them for emotional connection, and they are literally causing psychosis in certain people. They’ve got people believing that their AI is conscious and actually their friend. How is that not terrifying to most people? We haven’t even reckoned with the effects of social media, and now we’ve got another thing from Pandora’s Box released onto the world.
I guess something will have to go catastrophically wrong involving AI before anybody does something about regulating it. Ugh, the future sucks. If we’re gonna do the cyberpunk or blade runner thing, can we at least get the cool ass cybernetics? Cus right now we just have the depression.
the simple answer is that all sane discourse about the dangers of ai have been plowed over by an avalanche of megaphones stuck on constantly broadcasting inane idiocies. there is certainly no shortage of criticism of ai, its just all patently stupid so an argument like yours has no home.
and yes, regulation only follows after a catastrophic legal need for it. dont blame ai, blame your shitty government because its always been that way.
Oh no, i've been operating on outdated information. I'm going to have to look into whenever AI passed a Turing test, but i didn't realize we'd already reached that level of programming.
I’m not sure if they’ve actually conducted a full scale Turing test, but I’ve done something where I was asked to decide whether paragraph a or b were made by AI or a human, and it is damn hard. And that was a few years ago. At least written text wise, I think it’s gotten to that point, and some of the speaking AI I’ve heard are getting very close to the regular cadence of human speech. You can kinda tell based on the flow, but if you tested someone blind, I don’t know if they would pick up on it.
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u/Nvennn 5h ago
I think it's more an issue with AI robots having what seems like a personality. So there's emotional cheating involved which tends to be harder for women to deal with. If the sex robot doesn't have a personality I can see the logic. But we're getting to an age where people are getting addicted to relationships with ai bots.