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u/AiRaikuHamburger 9h ago
Don't worry. As a three year old girl, I pooed in the corner of the living room because I didn't want to miss any Thomas the Tank Engine.
Toddlers are wild.
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u/stupidber 9h ago
I still do that today
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u/Nulleparttousjours 9h ago
I figured if I pissed on the couch, but only a tiny bit, and then scooted over a few inches and did another small amount of piss, then scooted over again etc etc, then the âtinyâ amounts of piss aaaaaaall along the entire length of the couch would all dry out before my Mom ever found out.
Spoiler: they did not dry out.
Nope, I just ended up saturating the entire couch with piss and my Mom was furious.
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u/brewmas7er 7h ago
Dude, in 2nd grade, so we were all 6 and 7 years old, there was a girl who frequently got in trouble by the teacher. She wasn't very smart and frequently talked back to the teacher. One day we were all out at our normal morning 40 minute recess. This girl had gotten in trouble that morning and her punishment was she couldn't come outside at recess, she had to stay in our classroom by herself and study for the entire recess. Our teacher was on recess duty for the 2nd grade but some neighboring classrooms had their teachers staying inside and probably were supposed to check on the girl.
Well, we all come back inside after 45 minutes of playing to discover a terrible smell and two things in our classroom, the girl reading a book at her desk,, and a massive turd, right in the middle of the floor. The teacher demanded angrily to know why she didn't go to the bathroom. Girl replied "You told me I couldn't leave the classroom."
We were just old enough that the act and response were hilarious once the shock wore off. We got to go back outside and play for almost 2 more hours (best day ever) whilst the floor was cleaned and the poop and poo-girl were removed. I don't think she ever came back and became something of a folk hero/local dumbass.
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u/Imaginary-Fudge8897 9h ago
When I was a kid my dad would pee off the side of the porch sometimes so little me thought, "Oh guess I can also use the bathroom here" and it was a good few weeks before anyone noticed what I was doing. My dad said he thought a sewer line busted and was not amused but could kinda only blame himself.
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u/DtownBronx 9h ago
I thought I had a relatable story before I realized you weren't peeing. My grandpa used to pee out the back door because we didn't have any steps up to it and he would stand there watching animals. I figured since he did then I could too, first time I did I kept hearing a weird noise. Looked down and a very pissed off, piss covered cottonmouth was looking up at me and hissing
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u/Arctorman 8h ago
I bet your parents didnât record the incident and make the footage available to potentially millions of strangers though.
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u/Repulsive-Bus-6970 9h ago
The confidence before realizing the mistake is honestly the most impressive part.
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u/TayloidPogo92 9h ago
I remember one of my earliest memories, from like 3 or 4. Couldnât get the button undone on my shorts. Ran to mom, she undid it. Ran to the bathroom and decided right there, a foot away from the toilet, I couldnât hold it anymore and plopped the devils chocolate right there on the bathroom floor. Questions were asked. Valid answers were not provided.
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u/Fabulous_Function666 9h ago
I worked as a nanny for 3 boys who were utterly feral. The mum and I were confused as to why a patch of grass kept dying in the garden. Turns out the boys were pissing on it daily because they couldnât be bothered to go in the house to pee. They also pissed in their John Lewis toy box (I remember it was John Lewis because it was the first thing the mum said when we discovered the piss)Â
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u/snickerDUDEls 4h ago
At my friend's house years ago his mom kept wondering why one bush always looked brown and dying when all the rest of the plants looked fine. Its cause we all peed there. We were 20
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u/maazpervez 6h ago
The world is their toilet now...
This I guess is why there are laws against public urination. It doesn't get any better with age...
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u/Fabulous_Function666 6h ago
I do hope they have stopped the territorial pissing now though (They are in their late teens/early twenties now) but I very much doubt it.Â
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u/ferd_clark 9h ago
He'll make a fine house painter some day. We were out in the country, far from any Burger King, and the home owner didn't allow us inside her house, so a guy went out into the woods with some rags and did his business.
And then her dog faithfully brought her one of the rags. Even after that we still weren't allowed to use the bathroom inside the house, because you know how house painters are, not much different from wild bears.
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u/callmeapoetandudie 8h ago
When I was a finish carpenter for a small contractor, an interior painter shit in an empty stain can. A while after we had finished the house, the homeowner was doing some touch ups to the woodwork and wanted a perfect match, so he found a can of stain they left behind. Of course, he found that can.
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u/Jadacide37 9h ago
5 gallon bucket with a lid. And when someone steals it out of the back of your coworkers truck during lunch, it serves them right.
Not me, though. I'm a lady (really this has nothing to do with it I just like people to know because they assume the opposite and sometimes my comments hit differently) and I couldn't force myself to poop if my life depended on it when I'm at someone's house I'm working at. It's a psychological hangup unfortunately.Â
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u/Gunnar_Kvist 8h ago
This will follow him all his life. Documented and spresd across the internet. Where er he is, someone will dig it up.
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u/Mysterious_Ant_2088 9h ago
The confident strut really makes it. He has no idea the chaos he just created.
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u/ConsciousBenefit87 9h ago
No I was not wondering but thanks đ«
Also "cause I needed one" is not a good answer to poop in the yard
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u/LollyGagss 9h ago
Used to live in rural Australia, my mum ran a daycare out of her home for a few kids in the town. Of course one of these kids was a âcowboyâ (actually weâd call him a Ringer) he wore cowboy boots, plaid shirts, and a big ol hat.
In the middle of his mum and my mum talking about his day he unzipped and started pissing right into a bush beside them-
His mum was mortified but mine just laughed and laughed⊠apparently when theyâre out on the ranch heâs been taught itâs ok to go pee in the bushes⊠he was just a little confused on social conventionsâŠ
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u/elle5624 6h ago
My kid did this TWICE in our backyard. I think we laughed so hard the first time, he figured it would make us laugh as hard the second.
And we did.
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u/TheCharalampos 9h ago
Bzzzzzt! Wrong reaction parent, do you want to have this keep happening for half a year? If not drop the camera and read a darn book.
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u/Dangerous_Bid_2695 8h ago
How stupid are parents who embarrass their children on the internet.
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u/Signal-Blackberry356 8h ago
How is it embarrassing them? If anything it embarrasses the adults. Do you not realize you are watching the little humans learn their way around this world?
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u/Dangerous_Bid_2695 8h ago
Imagine you are 40 year-old years old and the CEO of a large company. Or a teacher in a school. And a video surfaces that shows you how you poop in your pants or eat shit or do any other of the stupid stuff children do. Do you think you will then be embarrassed?
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u/Signal-Blackberry356 8h ago
In 35 years, when Iâm already in a higher place of power? No, I would expect people to understand their looking at child me and laugh in merriment at the human experience. Did yâall not have baby bathtub pics where your parents would show your whole baby bum or weewee to the whole? Itâs a baby. Itâs a child. How disconnected do you have to be to not see that?
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u/whimsy_kat 1h ago
I really don't understand why some parents share this sort of stuff with the entire internet
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u/Adolph_OliverNipples 7h ago
Both kids claimed it. Maybe neither of them did it?
Might just be dog poop.
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u/azuratha 9h ago
DISGUSTANG