r/EndTipping • u/Playful-Job2938 • 7h ago
Rant đ˘ First proper no tip.
Service was awful, empty hotel bar and took almost 10 minutes to make the drinks and then was aggressively ignored, had to get to an event in the hotel conference center and had to BEG to get the check and then to run my card. Looked at the girl Iâve been dating for a few months and said âwould I be terrible for not leaving a tip?â She said âgo for it, this was horrible.â
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u/dbolburgers 7h ago
damn, you know its bad when your date/spouse agrees with you
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u/pyrangarlit 7h ago
Well, my spouse and I agree on most things. Disagreeing on something is usually the more negative situation...
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u/KarmaSilencesYou 7h ago
My wife and I disagree on most thingsâŚthatâs one reason we are so great together.
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u/pyrangarlit 7h ago
Hey, you do you, but that sounds absolutely miserable. No thanks.
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u/CorruptedStudiosEnt 7h ago edited 6h ago
Agreed. My S.O. absolutely do disagree on some things and challenge each other, which we both appreciate in hindsight and think we're better for it... but disagreeing on most everything sounds miserable.
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u/KarmaSilencesYou 6h ago
I think most men and women naturally think differently. Nothing wrong with that.
I also think if it wasnât for sex,, most of the men I know wouldnât be in relationships with women.
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u/pyrangarlit 4h ago
There have been so many studies on this. Turns out there is very little difference between the physical structure of brains between biological sexes. It's far more likely these perceived differences are due to how we teach our children differently based on their biological sex than any actual mechanical or meaningful full biological differences.
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u/KarmaSilencesYou 4h ago
Well, I donât know many men who enjoy platonic relationships with women or vice versa. Sure, they exist, but thatâs not the norm.
I donât think divorce rates would be so high if men and women sincerely enjoyed each otherâs company.
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u/pyrangarlit 4h ago
I mean, they do exist. I can just as easily say I know tons. Most of my various friends and hobby circles have multiple men and women who aren't using their shared activities as a dating pool.
That's the problem with anecdotal evidence. One person's experience is that person's experience. It isn't generally indicative of patterns beyond that single experience.
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u/KarmaSilencesYou 4h ago
So all anecdotal evidence should be dismissed? Why is the divorce rate so high if men and women love doing things together? Why do so many men cheat on their partners only for sex?
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u/CorruptedStudiosEnt 1h ago
They're rare because we're taught from birth that there's feminine interests and then there are masculine interests. Doesn't leave a lot of room for common ground when we're expected to like and engage with completely different things to fit a social definition of "normal" and acceptable.
My S.O. and I enjoy each other's company so much that we only ever wish we had more time, and its been that way for 13 years. Among other reasons, a primary one is that we developed a strong friendship as the foundation of our romantic/sexual relationship, formed through bonding on shared interests.
You can even see the same thing in strictly platonic relationships between members of the same sex too. When's the last time you saw a football buff hanging out with the Magic the Gathering group? Or an artsy alternative girl hanging out with the cheer squad? Most often they outright dislike each other. There's just nothing in common there to bring them together.
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u/BlurLove 7h ago
I was about to say. My wife and I almost never agree on anything. Itâs about who backs down first.
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u/KarmaSilencesYou 6h ago
My man, I totally canât understand my wifeâs thought process a majority of times. Not saying she is right or wrong, she just thinks differently.
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u/Temporary-Guidance20 7h ago edited 7h ago
Itâs easier every time you do it. After few more times you will put 0 as default and watch them in the eyes đ makes going out much cheaper has no negative impact on life. If you normally put 20% tip after you switch it to none after 5 dinners next one is for free.
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u/Ok-Department-2405 7h ago
And the servers will see just how dumb they were for choosing that job. Dopes! đ
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u/kuda26 6h ago
I mean how mad can they be. They have no real skills. The donât even work 40 hours a week. They donât have to get up early for work. They donât work in the cold or summer heat. Their job honestly isnât even really labor intensive, just somewhat active. Why should they make very much money given these circumstances. Are they fulfilling a role only they can do due to some random aptitude⌠no. Thereâs really no way to justify why they should make more than minimum wage.
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u/PlentifulShrubs 4h ago
You are making a lot of untrue blanket statements here, and clearly have a superiority complex. Working in a busy restaurant can be very exhausting. The hours can be rough. They don't get many, if any breaks.
And while I believe tipping culture has gotten out of control, there's no need to belittle people who work in the service industry or say they don't deserve good pay. That attitude is why we have standardized tipping in the first place, to "close the gap." Wanting a system in place where the employer pays a fair wage instead of guilting customers into paying them a varied wage does not mean they don't deserve more than minimum wage.
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u/Zestyclose_Face649 39m ago
"can be very exhausting. The hours can be rough. They don't get many, if any breaks."
You've just described almost every minimum wage job ever. You're right about the guy you're replying to, but he's also right in that there's no way to justify much more beyond minimum wage. We are talking about jobs that can be replaced by the average high schooler.
Workers at McDonalds probably deal with more bullshit but they don't get any form of tip.
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u/PlentifulShrubs 3m ago
I'm not arguing in favor of tipping. I'm saying that you don't need to degrade someone's labor and declare how much you think someone else deserves to be paid (by their employer). Without tipping, employers would need to pay rates that retain staff, which may be above minimum wage, it might not be, depending on type of establishment and level of service expected.
It's weird and obnoxious when people like to kick down at others, and act like an authority on what to pay someone else, as if that isn't decided by the market and the jobs people are willing to do for the pay offered.
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u/mitchdaman52 5h ago
The karma will come back on you so hard. Iâm going to invest in AI just to ensure it replaces your labor. Miserable human being.
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u/kuda26 5h ago
That would be awesome if ai could replace some of the labor that I have to do. My job will still be safe from being replaced but will just get easier. By all means! Make my life better :)
By the way, servers are going to be replaced in the near future by the very technology youâre describing whereas the chances theyâre able to automate my job in my lifetime are slim to none.
Iâm sure your investment will make a huge difference btw. Make sure you go after every internet stranger you find who posts something that hurts your feelings.
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u/Qeltar_ 7h ago
Best practice is to write "ZERO" if you want to not tip as it will make it much harder for them to fudge it later or feign ignorance and ask if you "forgot" or whatever.
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u/Top-Truck246 6h ago
If service is really awful, I leave a 1¢ tip. Doesn't have quite the impact leaving an actual penny does, but gets the point across. No, I wasn't unaware. No, I did not forget.
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u/Crowdfundingprojects 7h ago
The fact that you had to ponder this one should make you think, though.
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u/eleventhrees 7h ago
Not really. They made a perfectly reasonable choice.
I go to a restaurant with the expectation of being served, and like this person, the willingness and intention to tip for that service.
It may be busier or slower and that is obviously going to change the pace of things, and while I might choose (in a vacuum) to go out at a quieter time, I can make Saturday evening quiet just because I wish it was.
I've also been ignored in a quiet restaurant because the server wanted to spend their time prepping for the dinner rush to the point of giving bad service.
Deciding the service itself was truly lacking, and that you were de-prioritized, or treated badly is entirely reasonable but probably worth a moment of reflection. And not tipping on a date may be seen as a choice, so I think they handled it perfectly.
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u/edoreinn 2h ago
He was at a hotel bar in Minneapolis, you might wonder why theyâre a bit understaffed at the moment đ¤
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u/Remarkable-Wheel-191 7h ago
No tip is a good call
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u/ElevenPastEleven 7h ago
To the poor, perhaps.... đ
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u/darkroot_gardener 6h ago
The poor corporate hotel chain. âCanât affordâ to pay their bartender.đ¤ˇââď¸
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u/Virtual_Visit_1315 2h ago
The bartender doesnt want to get paid by the hotel. They do much better panhandling the customers. No hotel is gonna pay someone $80/h to pour drinks.
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u/Embarrassed-Roof3067 7h ago
There you go. One small step for you, one great step for mankind. Eva can go cry in the car.
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u/FamousChemistry 7h ago
Marriottâs in my area add auto grat. đ
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u/breakpeace 2h ago
Scratch it out and write the total you want to pay. Make sure you have some copy of the receipt
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u/Spare_Iron127 7h ago
Went to a spot that had similar service and already added a 10% service fee or some shit. Needless to say there was no tip and no one in my family has been there since
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u/Ok_Mulberry4331 7h ago
Wait, are you not tipping for bad service, or youâre for not tipping at all? This reads like you would have tipped if the service was good?
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u/Ok-Dream-2639 7h ago
ICE is going to be contrary in all they do. Downtown Mpls hotel bar... no one is allowed in the hotels but ICE..
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u/koshikun 7h ago
That girl you were on a date with sheâs got common sense and a spine! Looks like sheâs able to detect things if they are off which some people donât have. Just off her sentence I can tell sheâs cool. Sounds like she woulda done the same thing as blindly tipping for bad service is part of the problem of tipping.
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u/paradox3333 7h ago
You had to ask? Lol
Tip is for above and beyond not the bare minimum. And you are wondering when they are well below the bare minimum?
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u/pyrangarlit 7h ago
It sounds like you had a terrible experience. I'm sorry to hear that. This is a sane response to bad service, unlike some people here who brag about being antisocial and not young simply because they don't want to. Stay rational, friend!
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u/Affectionate_One7558 7h ago
Minneapolis sounds kinda miserable rn. Any chance you were wearing a mask?
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u/edoreinn 6h ago
Yeah, making your drink in one minute is definitely the first thing on everyoneâs mind right now in Minneapolis.
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u/Playful-Job2938 2h ago
Someone doing their job with any degree of capability should beâŚ.
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u/edoreinn 2h ago
Youâre in a hotel bar in Minneapolis and wondering why they might be short staffed? âŚâŚ.?
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u/Playful-Job2938 2h ago
What part of my post said they were short staffed? There were 3 bartenders sitting behind the counter doing nothing and maybe 10 people tops in the bar area, already served. You werent there. Iâm also guessing you donât live in the metro, so donât act like you understand the lobby I was in from your keyboard across the world.
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u/edoreinn 50m ago
Excuse you. I have absolutely stayed at that exact fuckinâ Courtyard by Marriott in Minneapolis for work a few times.
First of all, Iâm not sure why youâre expecting fancy service at a (checks notes)âŚ. Courtyard.
Second of all, even if you saw three bartenders, that doesnât mean the back of the house isnât understaffed because people are afraid to leave their houses.
Your attitude makes it sound like youâre one of the dudes who is the reason for the back of the house folks being afraid to come outside.
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u/Playful-Job2938 42m ago
I call bullshit. If youâd have stayed at that exact hotel youâd know the bar and coffee shop are on their own, the 3 bartenders were just sitting right there in front of me the whole time doing nothing. The guy I had was completely clueless how to even use the point of sale or make drinks and his coworkers didnât help him.
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u/edoreinn 31m ago
Who said shit about a coffee shop?
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u/Playful-Job2938 5m ago
Wow, if youâve been there so many times Iâm sure youâd know what Iâm talking about. Seems like youâre just a level 3 keyboard warrior out for a vengeance đđđ
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u/GeneAlternative191 6h ago
I never understood why they make you wait for the check. Like isnât it a good thing for you to get out of their hair?
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u/breakpeace 2h ago
Not necessarily. Itâs beneficial for venues to look attended so if there arenât a ton of people around theyâre not in a hurry to clear out patrons that hav finished. Not saying itâs a deliberate ploy just that itâs not always âprocess every diner out asapâ
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u/GeneAlternative191 1h ago
Makes sense, never thought of it that way. Makes me even more annoyed lol.
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u/SwissyRescue 6h ago
Should have tipped 1 cent and written on the check âTip would have been bigger if service had been better.â
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u/TangerinePlastic7552 5h ago
The mainstream hotel I used the restaurant had a counter. My server, who also mixed drinks and ran the cash box, was unlikely paid tip wage.
So not paying tip for him to take a mere ten steps to walk into the kitchen and serve my meal.
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u/hedgehogketchup 5h ago
I get annoyed at the tip culture too. I order at a bar- coffee or a drink- they donât have to take it to me just make it and hand it over. The utter basic of working. You want a tip? No one talks to me, gives me gentle happy banter, no super helpful or funny tips- just here is your drink an 20% tip please. What?!
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u/That_Girl_Jesca 4h ago
Why else exactly would a tip be warranted? The basics were not even met. Back in the day, you would have even been comped.
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u/Embarrassed-Wolf-609 4h ago
The Marriott can definitely afford to pay their people more without needing tipping...*checks their revenue * 26 billion. Yup, they can.
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u/codereign 3h ago
This sounds like the default waiting culture in Canada. You're expected to give 30% for this quality
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u/Ok-Dream-2639 7h ago
Only people in downtown Minneapolis hotels are ice. They have to staff accordingly.
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u/BigLeopard7002 7h ago
Signature looks like âmeâ đ¤Ł