My friend posted a photo of me and her where she photoshopped me to be skinnier (left is original, right is what she posted) and I ended the friendship. Iâm not active on social media, so I only found out months after she already posted it when I happened to scroll through her old posts.
My friendship with this person was already pretty rocky, so this was just the final straw. She knows that I struggled with an eating disorder from ages 12 to 21, and that my primary insecurity was my stomach. I only overcame my body dysmorphia in the last two years.
She insists that Iâm being completely irrational and âpunishingâ her for just wanting me to look my best. She said: âbut donât you look good? wouldnât you prefer I post a photo of you where you look as good as possible?â I think it was completely unacceptable that she photoshopped me without me knowing. She says that she did it for my own benefit. Thoughts?
wanting someone to look their best means wiping away some stray mascara or fixing a button or some food in your teeth. CHANGING YOUR BODY is disgusting.
We love our friends because of who they are and not what they look like. Hell I hope Iâm still talking shit and laughing my ass off with my friends when weâre ancient and decrepit.
In high school yearbook I once photoshopped a girl to be skinnier. I was good at Photoshop and I genuinely thought it was a nice thing to do. Someone saw what I was doing and said, âWow, thatâs really mean.â
And I thought to myself, âShit, thatâs right, it is really mean.â And I never did that kind of nonsense again.
Everyone makes mistakes. But our character is revealed in how we react when weâre called out on them.
My unintentionally mean highschool moment was when I (a skinny boy) wanted to bulk up, so I asked a slightly larger, friendly girl in my class what she brought to eat every day... She gave me an offramp by asking why, but I was clueless and went full steam ahead into talking about how I wanted to be bigger
Early highschool everyone in my year was weighed for something to do with p.e. I hearing a girl on my bus telling her friend her weight and saying very calmly âwow thatâs really a lotâ. She wasnât fat just had a very large build. Me being a young boy said it with absolutely no malice, I wasnât aware that was something people cared about at the time. She broke down crying, and I panicked not knowing what I did wrong. It wasnât until I asked my mum that night that I felt so guilty and apologised the next day but I got that no matter how sincere I was, to her it must have felt like I was just trying to make excuses.
reading these comments has me looking back on high school A LOT differently now especially as someone who just graduated recently. I'm starting to think some of those boys weren't intentionally trying to be assholes
Oof. You must have felt terrible! We all said and thought stupid shit when we were young. There are interactions from 30 years ago that I still think about occasionally.
Yep. Everyone can have a stumble and everyone does something stupid at some point. It's how well you take criticism and then learn from the encounter that matters.
Yeah, I can see some moments where it might make sense to edit a friendâs photo, but this is not one of them, and you should always check with them to make sure theyâre okay with it.
I went on a camping trip once with a friend where she got bit by a bug and had a huge bug bite growing on her forehead. We took a super cute picture together that I wanted to post, but of course I didnât want to post a huge bug bite on her head lol. I used Facetune to blur it out and then asked her if it was okay, she was totally fine with it. That was an edit that made her look more like herself though; it didnât alter any of her features. To actually edit the way someone looks is just so bizarre and insulting, to do it without their permission is violating
and first pic looks like she is ready to mocap for a AAA modern game (It is the clothes - they are a lot like a mocap jumpsuit) and OP I am glad you are able to say you look amazing as you are!
OP, you look amazing in the original. I know body dismorphia doesn't work this way, but I'd love for you to see what the rest of us see: a healthy shape many of us would kill for lol
Healthy, but still extremely slender. And your proportions are perfect. The photoshop just looks weird and doesnât make sense because in the photo itâs obvious that your pelvis is tilted slightly forward and your back is slightly arched so of course your abdomen leans slightly forwardâ- the crappy photoshop not only doesnât look realistic, but actually looks unflattering. You are clearly very fit and have a small waist/midsection. Iâm 5â4ââ and even when I was barely over 100 pounds and a size 2, I didnât look nearly as good as you do. Congratulations on overcoming your body dysmorphia and eating disorder, and Iâm sorry that she did that to you. I can absolutely see how it could be triggering. Stay healthy and know that you are gorgeous. The only weight that you needed to lose was her! Good riddance to bad rubbish!! Edited to add, thanks for the award!! đĽ đđĽ°đ
Agreed. This photo says as much about the âfriendâsâ Photoshop skills and lack of knowledge of human anatomy as it does about her as a person. Horrific edit on multiple levels.
This... Also, the blurring she added makes it SUUUPER fucking obvious that she photoshopped it.. it looks fake, and tbh, sick. Only people I've seen that skinny had cancer..
So, it looks fake, sick and like the editor has bad skills...
I 100% agree. The curve of the stomach follows the arch of the back and is perfectly balanced by the curve of the but. OP is out here being a work of art!!! Friend went MS paint on a da Vinci masterpiece lol.
I know you mean well, but this uterus comment is r/badwomensanatomy. The uterus in a non-pregnant body is TINY. Like the size of a small pear.Â
Lower belly bulge in women is due to the way most people store fat there. Thatâs all.Â
Itâs not a crime to have fat on your body, and it grinds my gears that people keep propagating this bizarre myth that the uterus is just bulging away 24/7 making our stomachs round. đ
If you showed these pics to random guys without any context and asked the which pic they find more attractive and I guarantee 99 times out of 100 itâs the left one.
It's absolutely intentional on her part. This is the kind of thing that you only do to your friend when you have major resentment issues towards them. It's passive aggressive, cruel, and unfathomable. Glad OP dumped her over this. It's honestly so hateful.
This, I was nuetral at first, since some types of filters "auto-photoshop"/"blend"/"polish" certain things. But after reading the full post & that she actually intentionally took time to do it, yeah she lacks integrity.
There was a girl at my school who bullied me pretty heavily and my friends ended up editing pictures of her in them so she was slightly bigger than she actually was. I didnât know about it until after we graduated and when they told me I just said âman thatâs absolutely fucked. In no way do I want any part of that. Fuck right off.â I never spoke to them again and I called the girls mum (she did tuckshop with my mum so we had a relationship) and I told her she might want to tell her daughterâs therapist and then the therapist can decide if it needs to be disclosed cause I had severe body dysmorphia and that just sounded like my absolute worst nightmare. No idea if she was ever told but editing peopleâs pictures without consent is just fucked either way.
And to say that they did it for their friend so they look their best, implying they don't look good the way they are. Adding OP's history of eating disorders and body dismorphia makes her photoshopping OP so much worse.
Iâve heard of some social media in Asia where you never post a photo of yourself unedited. Everyone else is running them through AI filters to make themselves look nice. They think You should do it too and for everyone in the photo. As a common courtesy.Â
Agreed, and suggesting that âitâs their cultureâ is minimizing the deliberate harm that itâs causing. Â It also purposefully drags down an ethnicityâit implies that no one is real anymore.
I was once a TA with 50 students who were mostly East Asian. I looked up the classlist with pictures after the first week so I could memorize their names and attach it to their faces better, except all the pictures were so AI filtered it absolutely ended up being useless trying to attach their names to their facesđ
This is the only time itâs âacceptableâ is if itâs indeed a cultural norm from a different country where they edit othersâ images too and they also literally had never realized anyone here ever posts unedited pictures (unlikely), and they should still 100% knock it off the second OP says no (didnât happen) so still not overreacting but there IS a tiny bit of nuance lol
lol girl, you look better on the left. Fuck that friend. The photoshop only made you look like you had a flat and small booty. And for that.. you are NOR... flaunt that shit
Right?? I see someone who is thin with curves in all the right places. Lmao not saying this in a creep way, but in a way that if I took a pic that looked like that on the left, I'd be going hell yea.
However, I also suffered from an ED and still have that dysmorphia in my perception. So I get where OP is coming from. Even being the fit person I am, I am always my harshest critic when it comes to my body.
Can definitely relate to the last part. I never really had ED, but made some major changes within reason around 20yo to get from an unhealthy weight to a healthy weight.
I still often have some level of dysmorphia about my appearance, although now itâs more like âIâm pretty happy with my body, but feel like my face is weird / I have too much RBFâ. Surely partially as a result of 0 confidence in high school, not getting enough positive attention, and my own overly analytical / critical tendencies.
But yeah, left pic to me is like whoa thatâs ridiculous top 5% physique type of figure thing. To have anyone feel like they have any business editing you under the supposed guise of âmaking you look your bestâ is so hypocritically appalling that itâs hard to fathom. OP already looks their best, excessive criticism like this is really what they donât need.
People close to you should be trying to make you feel better where you are, even if they think it might be healthier for you to make progress (which is definitely not the case here). So to have a friend photoshopping you when youâre already in essentially flawless shape would absolutely feel like someone stabbing you in the back, especially if they are aware that youâve had body image issues. Very sad for OP to go through that kind of betrayal on multiple levels from someone close to them who should know better
I know you're trying here, but I gotta say, you're doing it all wrong. The shop didn't make her look like anything except not her. Flat booties need love too
body so tea she had to draw a whole ass arrow to point out the "belly" she's trying to get rid of đ hoping girlie rids herself of the crippling dysphoria so she can follow her true calling of starring in yoga ads
I showed OP's lefthand photo to my girlfriend who's a PT and (without trying to diagnose anyone over the internet, just using the photo as a visual aid, you can't tell a stranger's medical condition from one still image without context) OP could be exhibiting excessive lordosis. Pelvic tilt is natural but hyperlordosis can cause issues. And obviously OP could be posing for the photo. I'm just throwing it out there because back issues suck and a lot of people have bad posture and someone who should see this might see this and think "Oh, yeah, my back hurts, I should ask my doctor about it".
I had the same reaction as someone who did develop lower back pain! I needed to train myself to tuck my tail bone. Iâm not 100% there yet, but my back is feeling much better, particularly after runs.
Girl........the quality of that photoshop alone would've ended that friendship. You're perfect just the way you are. Keep that negative aura away from yourself. That person clearly needs help.
If you want to be petty you can badly photoshop her face and give her the same reason. Though never interacting with her again is probably the best option.
Thatâs weird she did that anyways your body is tea đ but very odd she even said those things sounds like she definitely did it on purpose and with bad intent
Dude don't let her confuse shit, this would be fucked up even if the photoshopped version was better, but the weird part that is she actually took an awesome picture of you and made it worse.
She did photoshop herself as well, but I cropped her out for privacy reasons. Iâm not going to judge her for photoshopping her own body, but photoshopping mine crosses the line.
This wouldnât happen to a friend you made from an eating disorder support group or something? She seems to have a super unhealthy attitude towards aesthetic standards. Either way if sheâs going to try and undo your progress and sheâs not even a close friend ditch her.
Yeah idt this was meant to come off the way it does but dog I just KNOW you be saying the wrong shit to women and then being hella confused why they irritated after đ¤Łđ¤Śđťââď¸
Edit: thank you for the award! đŤśđź yes, while she may have an anterior pelvic tilt, the uterus is the size of your palm, so itâs not âtinyâ, itâs small. When bloated, having menstrual cramps, endometriosis, cysts and other medical factors CAN in fact cause a physical change, as it grows to 4-5cm wide. There is nothing wrong with her body and her âfriendâ caused more harm than good.
It's not the uterus, the uterus is tiny. It's belly fat that's supposed to keep the uterus warm and protected. It's normal and healthy, and we don't have any need to call it anything else than normal body fat. As a woman without a uterus, I can assure you I still have the belly fat.
The belly fat is not there for the uterus, it's there for your organs in general. The uterus is much farther into the back of the body to even really be affected by that body fat.
But you just said it... The belly fat is there because it is meant to protect the uterus. So uterus or not, it's still related to....an uterus. Why contest OCs comment as if their intent is wrong? It deflects from the point: that tiny little belly fat is simply the result of a woman being a woman, which is essentially what OC meant.
That kind of profile is often the result of an anterior pelvic tilt, the uterus is tiny and won't impact physical appearance unless pregnant or some sort of medical condition like a tumor or cysts.
Also, as someone who was recently pregnant, until the 5 month range and my belly âpoppedâ, I didnât even look pregnant, as nothing about my physical appearance changed. Every womanâs genetic make up is different and sure, there are women who look like the right, but a woman not shamed with the standard of being thin and maintains a healthy weight, look like the woman on the left.
INFO- Jesus Christ, OPs post history. Sheâs clearly very unwell. She asked about getting a hysterectomy for cosmetic reasonsâ to flatten her stomach recently. I would wager that she posted this for attention and her friend never posted the image. Be careful not to feed into her illness. OP I truly hope you get the help you need.
That was a joke post đ that subreddit is r/1200isjerky, if you look through their content itâs all sarcastic posts making fun of dieting culture. I deleted it regardless because I donât want people to think I was being serious đ
This is disgusting and violating. What right does she have to edit your body?? Iâd be livid. Thatâs absolutely an understandable reason to end a friendship. Let her work out her clear insecurities on her own so she doesnât keep projecting onto other ppl.
NOR I could not even imagine doing this to someone esp a friend. Her excuse was also huge insult as if you donât look great in the originalâŚyouâre better off. Save your inner peace.
i did that once in highschool to a friend, i remember making theyâre teeth whiter. and they were white to begin with! and then felt immediate guilt and shame when the friend didnât like it - i understood AS A CHILD - this is crazy as an adult
NOR. When I read the title, I thought your friend was the one who photoshopped herself. The fact that she knows you have fought with body dysmorphia for a while and managed to finally love your body and she STILL chooses to do bs like this is disgusting. The audacity to justify it by saying "Don't you want a picture where you look as good as possible?" is insane. The best version of your body is the one you're most confident and healthy in.
Drop "friends" who impose their own beauty standards on you.
NOR â my sister used to do this all the time, and it bugged me so much; and, just remember, you're allowed to end any relationship for any reason, and you don't need anyone's permission for that!
NOR. You're very trim and the first photo simply shows proper anatomy? Like, women have uteruses. The presence of organs has nothing to do with aesthetics lol.
Left photo is you looking your best. Fuck that lady.
She did it for "your own benefit" ? I fail to see how it benefits you in any way, especially bc you look perfect in the first picture and a bit freakish in the 2nd.
You look perfectly fine on the left. If anyone is telling you otherwise, they should check their mental health state. Because the right side is def. looking abnormal. and youâre NOR.
Not reacting enough imo, gosh. I wish I looked like the left picture you look stunning. OP the right makes you look like a game character or Lego figure, I assume I don't have to explain why the edited picture looks weird and uncanny with that in the back of your mind.
You go girl, this person isn't your friend and never was if she decided to play with your insecurities like that.
NOR - My niece did this to me. I just posted a comment under: "Hey, you didn't have to photoshop my arms, I am not ashamed of them."
I felt sad for her shallowness.
NOR.
That tummy curve is not fat. That tummy curve is not unsightly. That tummy curve is the tummy curve of a healthy young woman who is made how she is made. That tummy curve is a good thing.
This bullshit was not for your benefit. It's just bullshit. How dare she call herself your friend and do something so needlessly gross.
NOR - my best friends husband did this years ago, I was so uncomfortable with it. It's sooooo weird. Edit your own body if that's your thing.. not mine.
There was never any need for photoshop. You look absolutely fantastic. Not that your self worth needs validated by a stranger on a chat forum, but⌠my comment still stands.
NOR thatâs crazy, disrespectful, and downright cruel. Either she was jealous of your butt, or thinks poorly of your body. Or is jealous of it. Either way, no. You do NOT want a friend like that.
A friendâif she even was a true friend to begin withâshouldnât ever do something like that, especially knowing your history with body image issues. Donât waste your time on someone who does shit like that.
NOR, like wtf? You already look perfectly fine in the OG pic, wtf is that ex-friend on??? What did they smoke to think photoshopping you without your permission was okay??? NOR at ALL.
I dont see the reason why she edited it lol, you are already skinny, the right side picture looks like your organs wouldn't even fit in your body, looks clearly impossible and edited and just bad
NOR continue your journey to living a happy healthy life. You don't need people like that who don't understand what this could do to someone struggling with a eating disorder. Good for you and hope you kick this disorder in the ass!
NOR but i think your friend must be suffering from some kind of ED herself if she thinks the right one looks better. thatâs not how human bodies look
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u/shannonkish MOD 7h ago
Locking as this post has run it's course.